"Mom, Where do babies come from?...Parent tips on how to start this conversation
63Oh, My God! What Do I Say?
Why do parents need tips on how to start this conversation with where do babies come from?
Could it be that they are scared? What are they scared of?
I know I was until I asked myself, "why am I scared to talk with my child about sex?" I realized that all the reasons I was scared to talk to my children about sex had nothing to do wiith reality. I was scared only because of what I was imagining.
An imagined conversation:
- "Where do babies come from?"
- "Inside Mommy's tummy."
- "How do they get there?"
- "There are seeds inside mommy, just like there are seeds inside of fruits."
This could be the end of the conversation or it could go on.
The point is to answer the question as truthfully and as simply as possible given the age of the child.
Once a child is aware of their genitals, there is nothing wrong with explaining how "the seeds inside of Mommy" get fertilized.
What are we so afraid of? What do we imagine would happen if we told our child about sex? Are we afraid that it would make them want sex? Or what?
There is nothing really to be afraid of. It is all imagined.
Thus, the primary tip for how to start this conversation is to get past your fear, which is coming from your imagination. Once you can see beyond your fear, you can listen litereally to what your child is asking and answer appropriately to the actual question, not to what you imagine the question is getting at.
Notice it is not the parent who is starting the conversation. It is up to the child to start it. Children start the conversation by asking the questions. Just answer the actual questions. It is easy to listen when you are free from your fears. Remember, your fears are the result of what you are imagining, not the result of any real danger.
I invite you to comment away to extend this conversation and to check out my paenting website at http://bestparenthelp.info
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Comments
Thanks so much Rich!
You know, I think MY fear of this conversation has a lot to do with "what we are SUPPOSED to tell our children" because now a days, a child can go to school and tell their teacher that "mom told me about sex last night", but because she is SIX, that probobly wouldn't go over so well, especially with her imagination, and by what I am SURE she has already heard from other kids her age. Your advice is defenately helpful! And I totally agree that you must take their age into consideration when answering...
Great hub Rich! Thanks again!
MamaDragonfly,
Notice the fear about "it not going over well" if you child tells the teacher, "mom told me about sex last night". What do you imagine the teacher would think? If the teacher thought anything upsetting that would just be hiis/her fear talking. See how fear can rule. I vote for ruling over fear and not being ruled by fear. But first we have to notice the fear.
Thank you for your comments and your compliment.
No, thank YOU for the advice!
:)
Chuck says:
8 months ago
I like your advice. It gives the childe the information he or she wants and needs at the time, which allows them to grow and expand their knowledge at their pace. It is also easier for the parents as they don't have to explain a subject, which can be complex for a young child, all at once.
Very good and practical article. I enjoyed it and am sure that it will be useful for many parents with young children.