I've really been running at top speed lately, and feeling the pressure of undone tasks more so than usual.  I finally remembered Mother's Day was rapidly approaching, so went shopping for cards (for several important women in my life who are Mothers) on Friday morning, hoping beyond hope that all the good ones wouldn't have already been purchased.  (I was unable to be with my Mom, who lives 7 hours away, and was feeling some guilt about that, despite the fact that I'd just taken her to my Florida condo with my aunts, which I reported in an earlier blog.)  To my sheer delight, I saw Hallmark's brand new musical cards that were bigger than any I'd ever seen!  I mean these were nearly substitutes for a gift, they measured 1 foot by 1 foot AND they cost $10.00! 

I bought several cards and found a great one that epitomized my Mother perfectly, so I bought it.  I was feeling particularly tickled that I'd bought such a huge and special card, something that would really impress my mom and promptly drove to the Post Office to mail them out. 

I placed all of them, most of which were over sized, in the window asking the older male attendant there to weigh them.  I said I also wanted to buy some stamps.  He proceeded to weigh them one-by-one, announcing the postage due for each one of them, placing them on a counter below where I could see.  Before I knew it, he lifted them up to the counter, and I was so shocked to see that he had slapped postage tapes on each of the cards--crooked at that! 

When I saw my beautiful big card, with that whopper-jawed sticker glued on it, I was so stunned, I burst into tears.  I couldn't believe it...my "special card" sullied by a crooked and boring white postage sticker!  What I meant to tell the attendant was that I wanted to buy love stamps for these special cards.  I stuttered through my tears, "I wanted to put a pink love stamp on them!"  He replied emphatically, "a love stamp is ONLY 42 cents and these cost more".  Dhah!!!  I said, "I know.  I wanted to put several love stamps and then make up the difference with additional stamps."  Well now it's so quiet in the post office you could hear a pin drop.  I mean how often is a customer crying at the Post Office window?  And on top of that, how often is an attendant arguing with a crying customer?  I can't think too often. 

I just stood there, and regained my composure, pretty shocked I had cried over this, and immediately realized two things--I was clearly more stressed than I had acknowledged to myself, and secondly, that men and women are very different in their ways of doing things.  I mean this guy just couldn't get it that presentation is very important to me.  This was my Mother's Day card to my Mom, my sister, and several very important women!  They indeed WOULD have noticed the love stamps!  

My silence was broken with his now conciliatory, "would you like me to remove the sticker?" as he pointed to the huge card.  While I really would have preferred he remove each and every one of the stickers, I nodded in the affirmative.  He picked away at it until he had it removed, and proceeded to place the love stamps on it, making up the difference owed with additional stamps.  I thanked him, swiped my credit card, and apologized for not stating exactly what I wanted immediately upon approaching the window.  I walked slowly to my car, still amazed at this whole exchange and my feelings around it. 

In the end, I am more and more cognizant of certain gender differences, this being one small example.  On the larger scale, men and women really want the same things with their money too--to eventually grow it consistently in order to provide choices.  Yet women, and particularly mature women, appreciate their information dispensed in ways that build confidence, and make perfect sense.  They typically gather more information before they invest.  They have less tolerance for the dots not connecting, are less inclined to act on a "tip".  They prefer their investments to fit together in a coherent way, feel the pain longer of any prior investment "mistakes" and are less likely to invest in capital appreciating investments, preferring interest bearing ones instead. 

Because I have dealt with countless women in their financial quests, I get it.  Women need, and deserve, the special attention required to teach them in ways that "work" for them.  We are unique creatures and while it does often take us more time to learn in ways that are comfortable, we women deserve special attention. 

So, I was glad I persevered to get the love stamps on at least my Mom's big card, I am also glad to be able to serve, by building mature women's money confidence, especially in these fragile and uncertain times.