Monitor & Change Your Self-Talk

Our self-concept is created through the interaction with our world. The major influences on us are our parents, siblings, peers, teachers, and the media, just to name a few. Since our mind is like a computer, it can be programmed, for better or for worse. By the time you reach adulthood, your self-concept has been ingrained into your brain for many years.

Most people never stop to think about how they feel about themselves. What kind of negative messages did you receive as a child? Perhaps your parents told you that you never live up to your potential. In their minds, they were trying to help you achieve and go on to do great things in life. However, you may have internalized it as “I’m lazy and I’m never going to amount to anything.” It is useful to analyze these kinds of messages to see how they are affecting you today.

While the outside world helped create your self-concept, self-talk supports and perpetuates it. Your subconscious mind is programmed by your thoughts, so what you think about yourself is critically important.

Negative self talk can affect your relationship. Perhaps you’ve gained a few pounds, and you’re depressed about it. As a result, you say to yourself, “I’m a big fat pig. How can my husband possibly be attracted to me anymore?” These thoughts create your experience. They will affect how you think, talk, and act, which in turn will affect your partner’s reactions to you. If you become negative, it is likely he will too. Or even if your self-talk isn’t resulting in your changed behavior, just sending out negative vibes will subconsciously push your partner away.     The only thing that results is increased emotional and/or physical distance between the two of you.

Think about how your self-talk may be affecting your relationship. If negative programming has been accepted by your subconscious mind, get rid of it.