More Drink Personalities Decoded

When we meet someone new, there are hundreds of little clues we take in to try and find out what kind of person he or she is. We look into their eyes for sincerity, test the firmness of their handshake for confidence, check their body language for interest. Those of us who have bartended for years know that a person’s drink says as much about them as their clothing style. Here are a few drinks and their meanings to give you a head start the next time you meet someone new.

Gin and tonic/vodka tonic – this is the drink of a traditionalist. The tonic drinkers like good conversation, perhaps a good fox hunt, and like to feel refreshed by their drink. Gin is distinctly British and doesn’t play around. It should never come from the well. Get to know what gin you like and make sure you order it. No self-respecting gin drinker will ever say they don’t care what kind of gin is in their drink. They will know if they like the dryness of Bombay or the lime of Tangueray.

Redbull and vodka – this poor sap is overworked and determined to have a good time. Even though study after study says you shouldn’t mix the stimulants of Red Bull with alcohol, this person figures it hasn’t caused any permanent damage yet, so why mess with a good thing. Hint: if you need Red Bull to stay awake at a bar, maybe you should think about going home and sleeping like your body desperately needs.

The rum drinker is an adventurous type. Think Hunter Thompson. Think Jack Kerouac. Think hot summer day with the sun setting. Think Indiana Jones in the City. Rum is a full drink with lots of flavor. Rum doesn’t hint at its existence. Rum wants to go out and have a good time with its friends. With origins from the Caribbean and hundreds of incarnations, rum finds its way into almost everyone’s hands in one way or another.

The Long Island Iced Tea – no one, and I mean no one, in the history of the world has ever ordered this drink and planned to remain sober throughout the evening. The Long Island Iced Tea is a college drinker’s drink, helping its owner reach a heightened state of inebriation quickly without having to worry about ordering a lot of drinks.

Single malt scotch – this is another version of the sophisticate. This is the thinking man’s drank. Are you wearing a tweed jacket with leather elbow pads? No need. Your single malt scotch will tell others you are a person of substance. You like the subtleties and strength of your drink. Whether you’re a 12, 18, or 24-year drinker, you want to enjoy your scotch. The scotch drinker wants to mull over their life with you and talk about the war of 1812.

Sometimes it’s not the drink you order but how you order it. We already discussed chocolate in a martini – unless you’re having it as dessert, it shouldn’t be done. If someone is dropping ice cubes into their wine, you can bet he or she is not a real connoisseur. Just like ordering a shaken martini, ice will dilute the taste and strength of a drink.

In the end, you should remember you can’t judge a book from its cover or a person from their drink. But you can make a lot of pretty good assumptions.