The onslaught continues. The daily barrage of corporate-speak is giving me fodder for my hubs, along with a roaring case of nausea intermingled with unstoppable giggles.

This is a sequel to my recent hub "5 Business Buzzwords That Make Me Wanna Gag" because, there are way more than only 5 buzzwords tossed around by the omnipotent and the know-it-alls that make me want to hurl.

Ok, Class - let's see if we can make a sentence using each of the following words:

1. partner - "We need to partner with such and such department in order to achieve our goals for this year." Gag - what happened to plain old, just getting together and everyone doing their job?
2. post-mortem - "After this project is complete, I'd like to do a post-mortem, and will expect your cooperation". So, does this mean you want to do an autopsy or something? I get it, let's see what went wrong and who we can blame!
3. team building - "Since we all work together, we're going to do some team building exercises. We're going to walk on fire, then on a trapeze line, and the jerk who sits in the next cubicle who gossips about everyone is assigned to catch you if you fall!" Go Team!
4. low hanging fruit - "In order of priority, we're going to go after the low hanging fruit". Translation? I think this means that we want to go for the easiest and quickest results, right? Ok, so the next time I go to the orchards, I'll remember to go for the low hanging fruit. Maybe they were thinking of Adam and Eve.
5. silos - we're still on the farm, you know. "Departments really need to be integrated, as opposed to working in silos." Moooo.
6. channel - "We need to determine the best channels to distribute our product." There are vertical channels, horizontal channels, distribution channels, and marketing channels. Can't we just CHANGE the channel?? I want my MTV.
7. value added - "We're not going to do those tentcards for you anymore, because it is not a value added task." In other words, we're not going to do the piddly stuff because we don't have the time or the staff. However, never to leave someone in a lurch, we've developed a way for you to get what you need. See #8.
8. self serve - "For your convenience, we are making it easier for you to get your tentcards, through our new self-serve template and order forms." It's a nice way of saying: "don't come to me with your stupid requests, do it your own damn self"
9. deliverables - "Upon project completion, one of our deliverables will be a 30-page report." A fancy word for the end product. Translation? DONE! Although it probably could have been done in 15 pages, if it weren't for all the buzzwords.
10. multi-task - "Great opportunity for self-starter who can multi-task and juggle priorities." Code for: we expect you to do 10 things at once, change direction on our whim, get them all done in a short time frame, with no overtime, no staff, and no spending (unless you're salaried, then you just need to keep working to get everything done, no matter how many hours it takes).
11. transparent - Thanks to Sally's Trove for this one. "Our company is striving to be more transparent by sharing this information". Or, "you're so transparent, Mr. Brownoser that I can see right through your b.s.".

The Final Test: how can we leverage all these words to make one complete sentence? Let's give it a whirl, shall we?

After several hours of multi-tasking, we partnered with our suppliers, who provided their deliverables using a self-serve method, which proved to be value added, accomplished through team building, and not in silos, so we are sure to have the proper channels in order to pick the low hanging fruit, which will help make our company more transparent, to be concluded with a formal post-mortem of the project.

Barf!