A Mother’s Day Tribute to my Grandmother
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A Horse & Buggy Woman
I've been thinking a lot about my maternal grandmother lately. She was born in 1884 and died in 1969 at the age of 85. During her lifetime she would never tell me or anyone else her age. However, now that she is gone I don't suppose it matters too much. I hope she won't mind my sharing her date of birth. I only know it myself because I recently found her birth certificate information on the internet. How could she have known that her vanity would be betrayed long after her death by online records and Ancestry.com
My grandmother was born into a horse and buggy world. The year she died Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. That fact always amazes me. How speedy the pace of change is. Yesterday's wonder is today's "ho-hum" Her life spanned two wars, the 1918 influenza epidemic, a great depression, the advent of the automobile, the airplane, radio, TV, and space exploration. She remembered when there was no penicillin and when not everybody had indoor plumbing. She knew how to pluck a chicken. I saw her do it once. I was very little and I was amazed. I thought chickens came in saran wrapped packages from the supermarket and not from the farmer outside of town.
A Family Get Together in Burlingame
Kansas Genealogy Sources
- Osage County Kansas Genealogical Research
I found a lot of info on my grandmother here. - kansas history online
Everything you ever wanted(or didn't want) to know about the state of Kansas - Genealogy: Kansas Genealogy Sites
comprehensive list of Kansas genealogy sites - Irene's Kansas Genealogy
this is a fun site run by a Kansas genealogist with good info and a personalized format - Smoky Hill Museum Salina, Kansas - Research
The World That Formed Her
She was orphaned at the age of six and with her sister and two brothers went to live with her maternal grandmother and two maiden aunts in Burlingame, Kansas. I have photographs of her in high button shoes, standing stiffly with her siblings in a photographic studio--motionless while the camera slowly blinked her image onto a glass plate for posterity. She grew up in a house ruled by strong women, and later, when her grandmother re-married a local widower, was part of a large extended family. The large photo above was taken at a summer family get-together after the marriage. My grandmother is the little girl,second from the left, sitting on the blanket.
When I was small she would tell me stories about the Osage and Potawatomi Indians who occupied the land before the white man took it from them and of attending a one room school house with children ranging in age from 5 to 14. She told me too about how she battled her family, and against their wishes enrolled in the University of Kansas after high school. Even the local Methodist minister disapproved. The “normal school” for teacher training was fine, but a University education for a woman? That was a total waste of time.
My grandmother showed them all. She graduated with honors in June of 1909, at a time when women could not vote and worked outside the home only if their husbands could not provide for them. The following September she married my grandfather and it seems the good people of Burlingame, who had been so against her going to college in the first place, shook their heads when they saw her engagement ring and said " what a shame, all that education wasted." She used to tell this story on herself as a kind of joke. But she always followed by saying how important it was to educate women. I can still hear her say : " When you educate a man you educate a person, but when you educate a woman you educate a whole family" Needless to say, my mother went to college and I was not encouraged to elope at the age of 17.
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What She Meant to Me
When I knew her, in her sixties and seventies, she was active in local politics and cultural affairs, an avid reader, an established children’s author and local lecturer as well as a devoted wife, mother, and most important to me, the kind of grandmother who didn’t bake cookies, but sat me down and talked to me. She knew how to take a child seriously while still being a grown up. It was she who taught me to make beds with “hospital corners”, to darn socks and hem dishtowels. She also introduced me to “ The Atlantic Monthly” and “Harpers”, both of which she subscribed to for years. We would read together and discuss what we had read from the time I was eight years old. She read to me from the bible and made me memorize the Sermon on the Mount and Psalm 23. She told me to “count my blessings”. She lived her 85 years on the planet with style and grace, adapting to change, but sticking always to her principles.
In many ways her life was unremarkable—another strut across the stage of existance.. But, like all of us she made a difference and the difference she made to me, anyway, was staggering. She was my role model for what a woman could be. When she died in 1969, in Salina,Kansas more than 300 people attended her funeral. Her passing was marked with amazing pomp and dozens of letters and phone calls attested to the difference she had made in many lives other than mine. Now, as I approach the time of life she was in during my childhood, I think of her more often. The world which formed my generation is as long gone as as her childhood memories. My Gen-X children who are now approaching middle age and their Gen Y offspring can’t imagine a world without computers, cell phones, and Instant Messenger, let alone birth control pills, AIDS, and TV ads for Viagra. The toys I played with as a child are being sold at the flea market as collector’s items. The furniture that I grew up with is prized by the young and hip as retro ‘50’s modern. I am walking in the shoes of my grandmother and I only hope I can negotiate the journey half as gracefully and effectively as she did.
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Comments
A stunningly beautiful tribute! Your grandmother must be very proud ;-)
This inspires me with a renewed sense of appreciation for ALL of the women in my life.
Thank you!
What a lovely hub, thank for sharing this. It is astounding how much life has changed in such a short time frame. I think about that a lot--how different it is now even from when I was born, and what a ride for our grandmothers.
I have thought about how strange it would be to live during a time where you went from buggies to space ships. Fantiastic life you Grandmother must have had, through all the hard times as well.
I guess she is still gracing people, now threw you Robie2, I wish I could have met her, she sound wonderful.
I am gonna be there one day and I hope my daughters children will talk about me the way you talk about your grandmother. What an inspiration.
Interesting. My grandmother was born in 1875 near Independence, Missouri. Her ancestors came from Kentucky. She claimed to be related to Daniel Boone. She and my grandfather homesteaded near Thedford, Nebraska, in 1906, and she lived there until she died at age 91. She was quite an admirable woman. I don't recall ever hearing her complain about anything, except possibly the Republicans in the Nebraska state house.
Whew--thanks so much to all of you for reading and commenting. It feels so special sharing my grandmother's memory with you . I'm so glad you all liked it. Doghouse, you would have liked her and i have a scrapbook full of pix and letters and even a family bible, i even have some pix of my grandmother's grandmother:-) Mary and pg, I'm so happy you took time to read--your reading honors her too. And Sandra, what a lovely thought that she lives a bit in me--I hope so and I'm sure one day your grandchilren will be inspired by you. And Ralph--your grandmother and mine were practically neighbors:-) Sounds like she too was quite a woman and I agree with her about the RepublicansLOL
That a lovely way of remembering your grandmother. Thanks for sharing all that.
Robie - not only was it a fascinating hub, but I think such material is really important for future generations. I also empathise and appreciate the diverse life of your grad, but it also helps today's and tomorrow's youngsters to appreciate the vast differences in life. Super stuff - and you've inspired me to greater things!
Lovely tribute, Robie. I really enjoyed it :) She sounds like she was "a woman before her times" in some ways. What a wonderful influence!
Thanks Ellen,pj and amyjane--Glad you all like my grandmother. Every individual life is such a great story, isn't it? And every generation has its unique generational point of view--we are so shaped by the world into which we are born and yet we are all so much the same too across time and personal experience. Hmmmmm I am such a dime store mystic LOL
Great story, she must have seen it all, must have been inspiring to hear her wisdoms.
What a strong woman. Incredible story and wonderful tribute. This reminds me of my own grandmother, who passed away at about this time of the year. Thanks for sharing a part of your family with me.
My plesure, Angela--aren't grandmothers great? I think the grandparent-grandchild relationship is so special and I feel very blessed to have had such a good one.
Great hub! I don't think your grandmother would mind a bit that you've told the world when she was born! My own maternal gm was born the same year as the Statue of Liberty (1886) and died 103...yes 1-0-3...years later - just before the internet came into general use. Alas, she never learned to drive, but in her 90's she loved to fly! Her own mother started college at the age of 82 because she felt she "didn't know enough". Robie, do you have any more interesting ancestresses???
Enjoyed reading your tribute to your beautiful grandmother. She was a woman ahead of her times. Good for her!
Ahhhh Jamagenee--I got some very interesting ancesstresses and some family secrets uncovered in researching them:-) Maybe your hubs will help me find out more! And VS--thanks for stopping by and meeting my grandmother:-)
Robie, this is an absolutely lovely tribute! You made me think about my gramma, but she was born a little later than yours. :P
It would figure your grandmother is younger than mine as you are a lot younger than me LOL. But whatever the generation, grammas can be very special. Thanks for stopping by and reading,gg.
What a lovely tribute to your grandmother. Your story reminds me so much of my paternal grandmother. Ellie was born in Ohio in 1894 and lived to see her 103rd birthday. She taught me how to sew and knit, bake, dry corn for popping, make dandelion wine, and a hundred other things that are probably now alien to most young people. On her hundredth birthday, the entire town held a pot luck supper and gifted her with 100 red roses.
Thanks so much for sharing your grandmother's life. Because you did, I'll be remembering my grandmother in a very special way this Mother's Day.
And what a lovely comment from you about your grandmother, ST. Imagine how the world changed during her lifetime--just blows me away. Thanks for sharing her here.
What great examples she gave to you and on down through the generations. She reminded me of my grandmother and great aunts and uncles. They were "a different type of folk." Solid values, pioneers who fought for progress, patriots who lived their beliefs. I miss my older relatives who made me feel so secure. I want to give that wisdom and security to my own children.
My grandmother woke up cooking. She started her day baking pies and frying chicken and making cinnamon rolls. She did that as a young girl for all the workers on the farm and couldn't depart from the habit as she aged. Everyone knew where the food was and she had many visitors...you could smell the cinnamon rolls down the street!
Thanks for invoking great memories - I'm happy that you had such a strong grandmother.
Thanks Marisue and thanks for sharing your grandmother here. I am loving hearing about other wonderful and strong women here in the comments section. hmmmmm cinnamon rolls, yum.
I believe that great memories are made extra special if shared. Thank you for sharing yours Robie.
regards Zsuzsy
Excellent. It is amazing what a person can mean to another. They may have not known while they were on earth with us, but they most certainly know now.
I believe you are right ZSuzsy. Thanks for that lovely thought and karen--yes it is amazing--more amazing is how much we mean to the people near us and maybe how unaware of that we are :-) I've been thinking avout that lately.
Beautiful story! My Czech grandmother Josephine (Rokas) Toms, on my mom's side, was as poor as could be, but she never let her children suffer for it. She worked nearly 20 hours a day just to put food on the table and clothes on their backs. My mom still remembers how her older sisters helped out, giving all their earnings to their mom to help out.
Grandma Toms died many years ago, but her memory lives on, even to the generation that never had the privilege of meeting her in life.
I'm loving these comments with so many sharingl memories of their grandmothers--thank you chef jeff for including yours. I'm meeting so many strong wonderful women through this hub.
robie,
This is a wonderful memorial, which you have so lovingly written of your dear grandmother. Now it is clear, why you too - are such an extraordinary woman. Mothers do influence is such amazing ways... far beyone their immediate circles.
I only wish that more women truly understood the impact of their words, actions, examples and the love which they give to so many throughout their lives.
Women rock!
tDMg
LdsNana-AskMormon
Good to see you LDSNana. Women do rock and so do men;-) Thank you so much for reading about my grandmother. She's been gone a long time, and writing about her and having others read what I've written kind of brings her back. Thanks
This is a beautiful tribute to your grandmother Robbie. She seems like a woman who didn't let other people's opinions chart her course in life. It's a good lesson to learn, and it sounds like you learnt from the best. It can be easy to forget how much change the people of that generation saw. My own paternal grandmother was from the generation after yours (born in 1912 and died last year) and her tales of survival during the depression and the war which shaped her life are almost impossible to imagine. Thanks for writing this hub!
I'm glad you liked this, Hovalis. I've been struck lately by the passage of generations. My parents were your grandparents generation and they too experienced the war and depression and were shaped by it. Their parents were probably my grandmother's generation--shaped by the forces that shaped her. Amazing isn't it? Thanks for your comment.
What a touching piece! So wonderful to have someone like this in your heart to remember. Best!
Thanks for reading and commenting desert blondie--what a nice way of putting it--yes she is in my heart and it took me so long to realize how much she had to do with making me me:-)
What a lovely-lovely tribute to the grandmother you loved. I'm sure she would be quite proud to know that you had honored her in this way, and the impact she had on your life.She was an amazing woman, for sure.Wonderful hub.
Ahhh Dorsei--what a lovely lovely comment. She was an amazing woman and I did love her and it has been such a pleasure to share my memories of her with all of you here at hubpages. Thanks for reading.
working
In The Doghouse says:
2 weeks ago
robie2,
Lovely tribute to your grandmother. She sounds like a person I would have liked to be friends with too. Awesome pictures too! Happy Mother's Day to you, who like your grandmother, are creating memories that will be recorded in history.