Childhood should be a pleasant time. But, sometimes it takes a turn for the worse. After the death of my father. Things went from bad to worse.

My mother must have felt a huge burned to be left with nine children to raise on her own. Within three years the three oldest were married and left home at a very young age. But back then it was nothing unusual.

Then my mother sold the farm and we moved to the city or to a child it felt like the city after living on a country farm. First we lived in a couple of apartments, then my mother bought a house through a special program back them. It was a duplex, upper and lower apartments. We had the lower level. One of the big rooms in the front, she allowed a minister to use as a chapel. The minister and family lived upstairs in the other apartment. I was probably about eleven or twelve about then.

Things still weren't as they should be, still being abused. One day after learning a few facts, I confronted my abuser and said no more. Strangely, it worked. Maybe because I was older and around more people, able to think better with age, I don't really know. But as I got older my ability to keep from being abused by others didn't go well. It is a vicious cycle.

When I was thirteen or fourteen, my mother had a flat tire on the road and a man stopped to help her change the tire. That day changed our live forever...

He took my mother's fragile single existence with so many children and turned our lives into a living hell. He turned out to be a pedophile a very charming one at that. We moved many times during the night to another state. Come to find out the police were closing in on him. The first move he talked my mother into marrying him. It was after that that I think she wondered. They never shared a bed. I was about fifteen or sixteen, when I realized what he was. I had walked in on him and a dear childhood friend. That is when I was sent away, before I was smart enough to spoil his secret.

There was a dear neighbor that took care of me without me knowing it, before being sent away. I called them my Aunt and Uncle. They made sure I had food at school. It was made to look like I was getting the special school program. I alway kept in contact with them, into my young adult years until one died and the other couldn't communicate any more. They told me this when I was an adult on my own.

My mother to this day doesn't realize the extent of what he really was. How evil... but she does recognize that God help her escape his clutches. But the damage had already been done to the emotions of us children. I have a sister and brother that to this day don't recognize his evilness. They were in it many more years than myself. My brothers say he never touched them. I feel he used our family as his front. He told my mother that he only married her for her boys!

He controlled our sheer existance. Money, food, clothing. He would buy packages of underclothing and socks for himself (but never wore them). I would find them when putting clean laundry away. We wore what kind people gave to us and our older siblins hand me downs. On special occasions sometimes we got a new item.

Years down the road, I found that any paycheck that came into the house went to him. The monthly checks my mother got for us children from my fathers social security she signed over to him. He got every dime that came into the household. No idea what he did with it. My mother was powerless.

To add to his disguise he was claiming to be a minister. That helped him to get his hands on to the boys without anyone being the wiser. Little ones are easier to keep quiet then most people think. Especially the poor little ones that their parents have other things they think greater on their minds.

It is very hard to tell someone you are being abused no matter what the form of abuse. Many feel that they won't be believed, or it isn't that bad. Only, someone that has been abused can fully understand what another person being abused is going through. It is very easy for someone that has never been abused to say THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN TO ME because you do not have a clue.

More to come in #9...