Murderer on the loose on in HubPages
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I love murder. Murder is a great form of escape for me. After a long day at work, when the boss is treating me like something less than human, I just want to come home and get into a nice murder.
Lots of people do it. There are so many ways to murder. Over all, I think that the English are best at murder, but by no means hold a monopoly on it.
My taste in murder can range from the classic, to the modern. But be forewarned, where there is a murderer, there are detectives.
I like my murder with the lights low, popcorn and Junior Mints.
Classic Murder
"Death, the one appointment we all must keep, and for which no time is set"
I will never forget my first murder. My first taste of blood drawn at the hands of a killer was in London. I do not remember who the murderer was, but I will never forget the detective. Charlie Chan. He always solved the mystery despite the help from his sons.
"Long journey always start with one short step.”
“Front seldom tell truth. To know occupants of house, always look in backyard.”
“If you want wild bird to sing do not put him in cage.”
"mind like parachute. Only functions when open."
Agatha Christie
Miss Marple
Jane Marple is an elderly spinster who likes to do a but of armature sleuthing. Personally, I like a stout Marple. I find that Margaret Rutherford makes the perfect Marple. She is not afraid to give a good crack on the noggin with her umbrella. She is just down right cute.
I cannot get into the more modern "Marple" series from the BBC that aired on PBS, and A&E quite as much. Though the character is more true to the character in Christie's books, she is too "bird like" for my tastes.
"I may be what is termed a spinster, but I do know the difference between horseplay and murder"
Poirot
Hercule Poirot is Christies dignified Belgian detective. With his meticulous curled mustache, he is always working his "little grey cells'. I have always enjoyed Hercule Poirot, but by far my favorite is the BBC series Poirot, with David Suchet. From the opening theme to the art deco props, not to mention the characters, the BBC production does this Agatha Christie detective justice. Poirot with his occasional his sidekick Hastings, always usurp Chief Inspector Jap of the Scotland Yard in solving a case.
When life gets to chaotic, my wife and I love to snuggle up on a couch and watch Poirot. I have even loaded a few episodes onto my Ipod.
"Crime is terribly revealing. Try and vary your methods as you will, your tastes, your habits, your attitude of mind, and your soul is revealed by your actions."
Modern Murder
Midsomer Murders
They still know how to give good murder in the UK. Midsomer Murders is a BBC mystery drama series. Introducing Detective Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby of Caustons CID (criminal investigation department). Barnaby is an even paced, methodical and fair Inspector. Chief Inspector Barnaby has had three sidekicks in Midsomer Murders.
With 13 seasons, and murder a plenty in each episode, one may start to believe that the cozy little county of Midsomer in the well trimmed, green English countryside, is a more dangerous place than New York City. (never mind that Midsomer is a fictional county). The seemingly quiet picturesque Midsomer is actually quite the haven for crime and murder. Many of the small counties residents are total characters with depravity abounding, while the personal life of Chief Inspector Barnaby is construed as “normal” and wholesome.
"Is the body count always this high around here?" DS Scott
"It's been remarked upon." DCI Barnaby
Commit Murder Tonight
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The Agatha Christie Miss Marple Movie Collection (Murder at the Gallop / Murder Ahoy / Murder Most Foul / Murder She Said)
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Marple: The Classic Mysteries Collection (Caribbean Mystery / 4:50 from Paddington / Moving Finger / Nemesis / At Bertram's Hotel / Murder at Vicarage ... Mirrors / Mirror Crack'd from Side to Side)
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Agatha Christie's Poirot: The Movie Collection - Set 4
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Midsomer Murders - Set One
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Murder in America
Both Poirot and Midsomer Murders aired on A&E. Unfortunately A&E dropped their mystery series for shows that were more American. "Reality TV" shows , like DOG the bounty hunter, Tattoo (tattoos are great but a whole reality series on them?) and Hammertime, where they follow around the old has-been rapper M.C. Hammer and his family. Why?
Cable TV? Someone expects us to pay for drivel like this? I think not. I gave up my cable TV when the last of the great murders was dropped. However, fear not, you can get all of the Murder your cold little heart desires on DVD.
Murder in the polls
My thoughts on Murder
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Comments
love it, as usual!
I do agree that all the shows you mention above were great. however,
Mr.Moon may I be so rude as to suggest two of America's own. Of course you may be to young to remember, but what about "Murder She Wrote" with that never aging Mrs. Fletcher and "Diagnosis Murder" with the eminent Dr.Sloan, I just don't know how he ever got the time to see patients. ;-)
You just made my day! I was kinda thinking about murdering my boss after quitting my job. Let's just say I had better plans. hehe
Murder mysteries and psychological thrillers are my favourites. Gimme a good murder to solve, throw in some twists. What gets me with CSI, they aren't too big on the twists~
No one ever got murdered on scooby doo.
Ohhh murder! These days I am wading through a 21-dvd set of Poirot mysteries starring David Suchet and enjoying myself hugely! His version of Poirot is quite flawless...all the little mannerisms and foibles and racking of ze grey cells...makes ze great man come alive!
Fortunerep- lol. You are guilty!
Ljrc1961- Thank you! :D
Agvulpes- I remember (slightly) murder she wrote, but never saw diagnosis murder. I do remember quincy md and growing up I loved Columbo.
Mayhmong- I dream of my bosses murder frequently.
Cindy- I love twists. Frieda frequently solves murders about two thirds of the way through. I never seem to get it. CSI does have some good ones.
GT. ROFL They might have if it weren’t for those meddling kids! :O
FP- Gotta love it.
I love Agatha Christie, though I confess it never occured to me that i could WATCH it.... I just read the books. Thanks for the tip! This will be a whole new world.
Reading is FUNdamental. But sometimes it is great to just watch something. Like a good movie. My first murder in book form was the Hardy Boys. Read the whole series. I was so sad when I read them all. Then I read Nancy Drew.
Agatha Christie has always been one of my favorite murder mystery authors. I recently bought my daughter several book from a garage sale. LOL, if she doen't like them, I will!
I think I've read all of Agatha Christie's books, but I came across one quite recently (a Miss Marple) that I had not read. That was such a wonderful surprise. Still, Poirot is the man I would go to if I needed the mystery solved and David Suchet was perfect. I also miss that show.
I so do love murder mysteries...whether on tv or in books. My husband thinks I am a ghoul. When I was a teenager, I used to read the book upto a certain point until the first murder occurred and then read the last chapter to check out who the murderer was.After that I completed the book.This was my way of checking if the author had all her/his facts hanging together....kill joy that I was. :P
Hooray for murder! Love it in any form and you're right, the Brits do it with much more finesse than Americans. In addition to Agatha Christie, I like PD James.
No argument from me about the reality TV drivel on American TV. Boggles the mind why people would find 99% of this crap interesting. But we do have quite a few murder related shows -- not on par with Poirot, of course. I like Cold Case, NCIS, First 48, Forensic Files, etc. And Adrien Monk is in some ways an American version of Hercule Poirot with his OCD neatnik tendencies...
K@ri- that is the bet kind of gift.. The ones can enjoy. I am sure if she does not like them now, she will. :)
Connie- I scored a book, the complete Miss Marple at my work. Now I know I have them all. And yes, Poirot is the man.
Dianacharles- I hate it when they solve the mystery, but left out key facts so that you don’t have a chance.
Mighty Mom- Monk Rocks! I love a good episode of Monk. The ones I have listed above are a bit… I don’t know, slower? They are the ones I love when life is so hectic. Perhaps it is the camera not changing angle every 3 seconds as most American shows do. The ADHD of modern American TV directors.
Could I pay you to murder reality TV watchers?
I think that it is a form of mental suicide, but hey, send cash, no checks. LOL
paper Moon i too am a huge fan of murder/thriller shows particularly the english ones - I always enjoy Poirot, and Miss Marple - one on tonight (although the latest series features a lady I am not 100% happy with) Midsummer murders (although why one little village has so many killers living happily together is quite mind boggling!) I enjoy Silent Witness, Spooks, SVU., NCIS - if fact if it there is a murder to be televised i hope to be watching - unfortunately my husband does not hold quite the same views as me! ...cheers
Count me in, too! I also liked Detective Morse and Jane Tennyson.
PM talking about Monk, I believe that they were going to use Kramer as Monk but changed their mind at the last minute. Good decision I feel ?
Paper - I've always had a thing for Columbo. That dirty mac. The unassuming air and dogged affability. Always got his man (or woman) ... loved it! Like Teresa I also watched Inspector Morse and I'm currently watch Criminal Minds.
My book list tends towards 'tecs too. And I recommend everyone watches the spoof cops film Hot Fuzz. Bloody funny film :)
How could i overlook Detective Morse, (have the dvd series) Jane Tennyson and Columo! and @ ag hadn't heard this snippet but somehow doubt that the Kramer version of Monk would have been quite as popular......
Great Clever Hub What about Mike Hammer and Travis Mcgee?
My, we have some detective types around here ;)
I love a good thriller-mostly in my books. Murder always makes for a good story :D I was just checking out some Agatha Christie's at the book store as a matter of fact...
I absolutely love murder mysteries. The newest ones on TV afre so different from the older ones you've mentioned. I styill remember Charlie Chan. So glad you included him. But don't forget "Murder She Wrote" that was good too. James patterson is good for murder and easy/fast reading.
Oh man, I wouldn't be able to get away with murder if there's this many detective out here already?! We got a lot of genius here.
ajcor- Perhaps Murder SUV would make a good show!
Teresa- Those are good ones, though we rarely managed to catch Prime Suspect.
Agvulpes- It would have been good with Kramer, but not quite the same. Tony Shalhoub is perfect.
Froggy- “One more thing” I loved it when Columbo would say that. I have not seen Criminal Minds. Perhaps I should check that one out.
Sixtyorso- wasn’t Travis Mcgee played by Sam Elliot?
Janetta- Books, Don’t get me started on books. You wont see hide nor hair of me for weeks if I start looking at our numerous book shelves.
Alekhouse- James Patterson is a fun read. My favorite in the thriller books is Dean Koontz. Keeps me up all night. :O
May- Hope you don’t feel the need to murder. LOL. Perhaps all of these detective types could come up with a mystery? Hmmm. Could be a good request.
Your title caught my attention, lol. Good writing. I imagined a murder plot running rampant on HubPages, i.e., a new challenge like 100 Hubs in 30 days! How about it?!!!
You plot another one of those and you might need a detective to find out who dunit! LOL
Great Hub..!! Thanks
I'll start the murder plot challenge;
It was a dark and stormy night......
...slowly he turned
lol....
he heard a laugh....
it was an evil laugh and came from.......
then, step by step, he...
It is always a good night to murder...
er.. to READ a murder.
In the last 5 years I have been reading all the murder mysteries that I wanted to read while I was working too many hours in too many jobs. Chan and Holmes I knew of old and re-read still. But thus far I have discovered Poirot, James Qwilleran & Koko, Perry Mason in book form, Gerhard Self, Judge Dee, and Kinky Friedman (who knew?) along wth a few others.
Thanks for the Murder Hub. I'm in.
Recapping the plot :
It was a dark and stormy night. Slowly he turned, step by step, then he heard a laugh. It was an evil laugh, deep and dangerous...
and came from behind....
and a little to his left...
Chief Inspector Morse, have all the series, can watch them over and over, somehow I forget the ending until at least half way. Midsummer murders are also a favourite of mine .
You've hit a nerve!! Hey, have you ever seen "Murder by Death"? It's a great spoof on all these characters, has some great actors in it! I prefer my murders with Milk Duds, but Jr. Mints are great! Great hub! I love these movies better than the slasher ones they have out now. I have a hankering for some Jr. Mints, wonder why?
but seemed to be awfully close....
Hawkesdream- I love it when I forget so that I can watch again. Candie, Love it. Great actors too. Shhh, we are writing a murder..... It was a dark and stormy night. Slowly he turned, step by step, then he heard a laugh. It was an evil laugh, deep and dangerous... and came from behind and a little to his left... but seemed awfully close. suddenly....
he recognized who was laughing , it was...
One of the Oddity Good Sisters swanked in and broke his concentration.
I like it. Murder most foul!
Oh yes, it is going to be most foul!
But he didn't know it yet.
his evil twin, his mirror image - but where exactly was he? night was falling fast and the gloom growing ........
inching closer to his homey little abode in the heart of town... right next door lived Oddity Good Sister number one!
There was a scream!
OOOOOOOOOO!
It was then that Evil showed its face....
...of terror - blood curdling - she had found ...
her missing foot, bloodless and decaying...
s**t!
Cramer as Monk?? No way!
So what you're saying, PM, is that you've watched and read and studied murders enough to know how to get away with one should the need arise? Hmmm... I've decided to stay on your good side. I make really good chocolate chip cookies.........
LM - shhh, down in front!
I'll throw my popcorn at you if you harrass me again, Candie!
Where did I put that staple gun..?.....
she couldn't really understand how she hadn't missed something as obvious as this before but as luck would have it she had a spare......
Wait....what is that smell..OMG, its........
Only a Paper Moon, hanging in a cardboard sky..
so not as smelly as say a "missing foot, bloodless and decaying"....
She looked up, foot and staple gun in hand, there above her, dangling from a rope, was paper moon. He had been murdered.
Who?! How?! When?! They only knew where. Up there.
This was no innocent job. It would take some who knew that he knew what he knew. But what? What did he know? Whatever did Paper Moon do to deserve such an untimely death.
Oddity Good sister number 2 bit into her hanky. She smacked the back of ther other hand onto her forhead. She dabbed her eyes. It was then that she noticed. Something... Something...
Dear god what was it?!
This would take only the best detectived in the world to figure out.
She made a call. They came running.
(a ghostly voice floated in "who dunit?")
"Dear god what was it?!" - what was it indeed? - something so grotesque she just couldn't find the words to describe it...shapeless, baggy, beige with a slash of red slashed across it's bloated face ......
Great hub ! thanks a lot :)
was written on the murder letter. It was carefully typed. Obviously the murderer was a hubber!
well spotted Paper Moon but which one and why???
must have been Oddity Good sister number 1 - she seems to be missing in action and Oddity Good sister number 2 seems a bit overwrought...where's morse when you need him? ....
( a ghostly finger pointed to the murderer, but faded before any one could guess who killed paper moon)
Oddity Good sister number 1 walked in at just the moment of the fingerpointing and *gasps* "Me? It can't be me!! I have a cold!"
PM
I used to gobble alot of Poirots and Miss Marples in high school. I still love a good, classic whodunnit reads. Gread read as usual! :D
Scratching the stubble on his hirsute chin, the detective announced " Paper Moon's autopsy indicates death by Hubtivity; I suspect no one; I suspect everyone ".....
Lately I have been into the Kathy Reichs books. They are murder with the forensics side added in.
the crowed was milling about, the police not doing a good job at crowed control. Could it be camping dan? The cult leader Christoph? The cult of personality Cris A? Perhaps it was Ryan Hupford, the ring leader. After sending a cake with a file in it to cindyvine, it could have been the Chinese government. Was it a political assassination, or personal? And would someone take that damned paper moon out of the sky, or would they just leave him dangling there at the end of the rope?
I too love a good murder, as long as the victim is not me. Great hub
Sorry posted twice
I always kind of preferred Perry Mason type murders (generally clean and not too graphic), and yet for some reason I'll sit through Criminal Minds almost every week.
slowly he turned...and reached up, quickly removing the rope from Paper Moon's elongated neck...looking around, the detective noticed....
The crowd indeed was not paying attention to the instructions posted about by the patrols....
One of the onlookers named ethel was so excited by the murder scene, that she posted twice. What she did not know, was that she too was a suspect in the comment murders, as was Lisa HW. We now rejoin the detective as he has just noticed a clue......
there..there under the cardboard sky...a single scarlet glove lay quietly, yet spoke clearly that this was indeed ...
OJ's glove? No, but it was a clue to who killed paper moon.
Slyly looking around, the detective studied the commenter's' faces; Ajcor, quickly shifting from foot to foot with a cool aloofness that chilled the room, Candie, trying to shift from foot to foot, but lacking her left foot ( She still hadn't stapled the damn thing back on yet ) she just stood there, looking guilty as hell, and Frieda, with that smug, ripe smile planted on her guileless face, and Maven, that clownish smirk telling the world to piss off....the detective was not fooled...no, he......
was busy with Oddity Good Sister number 1's foot, 'Oh fiddle-dee-dee!' would someone help me reattach it?? I can't reach it because..........
some fool has stapled my shoe to the floor...meanwhile...
oh no, the lights have just gone out and now I hear a gun shot and glass breaking and . . . . .
looking around, the detective notices the body of Paper Moon has disappeared !!...Standing next to the fallen cardboard sky is love my yorkies, frozen in scream, hand holding a smoking gun...the broken glass of Paper Moon's martini crunches as the detective rips his shoe off and staggers towards the new commenter...reaching for the gun he....
suddenly stops and turns around to see a shadow passing by the slightly ajar door that opens into the library. He crosses to the open door, peers inside and is shocked to see . . . .
Huey, Lewie and Dewie!.........
standing under PAPER MOON !!! Once again hoisted on a halyard against another cardboard sky.....shuddering, the now baffled detective again removes the hanging rope and covers Paper Moon with a blue tarp lying nearby...posting a uniformed officer over the body, the detective turns to the hushed assemblage of commenters and barks ".......
"popcorn, peanuts, ice cold beer!!!" (sorry, I just couldn't help myself) as the crowd . . . .
slowly faded to black....finis
I hate cliff hanger endings. (whispers a ghostly voice during the credits)
as Odditiy Sister #1 yells "WHAT ABOUT MY DAMNED FOOT?"
the end ??
I used to stay up late at night and watch murder/mystery series with my great grandmother... it was a rush for me because, 1. I got to stay up past my bed time and 2. It was so much fun sitting with her solving the muders together.
Awesome Hub!
Paper Moons Murder Part Duex.
Oddity Sister #1 comes into view holding her bloody foot.
vkent744 walks up to her and starts spouting about mysteries with her great grandmother.
Oddity Sis #1 waves her foot in vkents face. Vkent runs away screaming. Suddenly the ghost of Paper moon points down the dark wet street. Oddity sister #1 knows that she must uncover the clue as to the killer and why the screen faded to black.
To hell with the hub I'm laughing at the muder goin on in the comments. LOL yer all perverted! Now ta watch the vid at bottom.(under comments)
Well now. That lil video was cute. thanks
OS#1, looking remarkably like Boris Karloff as the Mummy, slowly dragged her footless leg towards the library, where the tarp-covered body of Paper Moon resided...sniffing the scene, like a beagle on the trail of Mr Fox, OS#1 noticed the fallen detective...his head bleeding from blunt force trauma, ( she knew her CSI )... " Wha' happ'n ? Everything suddenly went dark, and now I have this huge headache " the slowly recovering detective mouthed....reaching for her hand for assistance he noticed a decaying and bloodless foot dangling there..." Where's that damn staple gun ..? " OS#! stood transfixed, mouth agape, as she fought to keep the scream contained, but which suddenly erupted with ....
Oddity Sister number one erupted with….. “ I am late for my date! I had a hot date! I hooked up with a hot hubber! How will I wear my new shoes?
Our detective said, “Damn your date woman, this is a murder investigation! “
To which she replied, “ I wonder if he would like to join the investigation for our date?”
Forsooth...the detective declined the proffered excursion that would lead him away from the burgeoning clues that would lead him to the murderer of Paper Moon... jealously, he guarded his concentration and moved with a rapid pace to conclude this disgusting circumstance that has so intruded on his life... Knowing the murderer was only a very small part of the immense conspiracy he believes before him... OS#1 must stand up and state her true motivation for removing her left foot and trying desperately to obscure the real reason behind the murder of Paper Moon... As he looked at Ralwas, he knew that this was....
Nice job! I'll come back to it and watch all the videos.
As he looked at Ralwas, he knew that this was....a part of the puzzle. The detective decided to try a new tactic. He decided to get a little rough when questioning his next witness, Maven. He wondered what a tough guy from Arizona was doing on that dark wet night. All hubbers were suspects. What our gumshoe did not realize was how tough Mavin was. He grabbed Mavin by the shirt coller only to find himself face down in the dirty gutter without a clue as to how he had gotten there. One thing he did know, was Mavin certainly had the strength to have done the murder. So many suspects, not enough answers.
He decided to check out someone he could handle with a little more ease. At first he thought of quetioning Ralph Deeds. Deeds. Did he do the dirty deed? Could he have commited the murder of a fellow hubber? Then on second thoughts, he looked like a Don in the Mafia, so perhaps he would come back to Ralph later. He was going to grill.......
some cheeseburgers, but a nagging thought kept pulling him back to the scene of the crime....let's see...Ajcor was there, Patty Inglish dropped in for a quick look around, Frieda, as always, poked her nose in, Candie was still struggling to reattach her bloodless and decaying foot, LMY was there, later, but still a major player in the detectives bloated inventory of suspects,... and all those that left fingerprints at the scene: Alekhouse, Janetta, Sixtyorso, Agvulpes, Ljrc, Fortunerep, Treading Concrete, Lisa, Ethel ( left two fingerprints ), Kiran8, Camping Dan, VKent, Reilly, Mayhmong, Candyvine, Golden Toad, Feline Prophet, ConnieSmith, DianaCharles, Mighty Mom,storytererus, and Hawkesdream..... and now he must consider this Ralph Deeds in the mix....Maven remained at the top of his list, BUT, by the Great Paper Moon's Ghost, he had completely overlooked Ralwas...Ralwas, standing sheepishly in the corner...Ralwus, the very image of innocence, yet, why was he holding that lead pipe...the thought brought on another headache as the detective struggled to make some sense of it all...where was McKurk when you needed her...? He was going to need some serious backup if......
Oh my! There is a murderer loose here, on HubPages?! I always knew I should be more careful on here. Is there more of a clue on who it is? Oh wait! The murderer could be reading this o.0* -whistles- oh, nice flowers you have here, Paper...oh wait a minute, daisies?!? Now, why would you be growing daisies?
I know I am a bad story teller, I just enjoyed your hub and videos a bit much. Well done, Paper.
He was going to need some serious backup if......he was going to get to the bottom of this murder. Perhaps Paper Moon had gotten too close to the mystery of the missing tomato. Why did Golden Toad make a hasty exit. Where was Pachuka213? Who stole her hubs? Who was this stranger that G-ma was succumbing too that lived in another country. Why did Cindy have to leave China? Was it for international reasons that our poor Paper Moon was murdered? Was he so poor, or was he guilty? Was he an accessory to his own death? There seemed to be more mystery going about in hubpages than meets the eye.
The detective's headache was really raging now....flickering thoughts crowded for attention in that hellish confine...who, what, where, when, and, most insistent, WHY....Did Paper Moon have a secret life unbeknownst to fellow hubbers.? If so, perhaps a non-hubber has snuck in here and did the deed, leaving a blank page behind..? No, he thought, this has hubber fingerprints all over it...
A non-hubber took the stapler, then backed out of the room quietly at the sight of ralwus and that lead pipe. But why has ralwus never mentioned this? Surely he knows the stapler was...
What!? I'm discovered! *makes hasty retreat to briny sea*
important to the investigation...the detective considered this while carefully watching Ralwus making his hasty retreat towards a briney sea.....that lead pipe meant something, but what.? And who was this mysterious hubber that just entered the murder scene, this JamaGenee ..? Did this hubber have secret knowledge of Paper Moon's demise..?
Reaching inside his raincoat, the detective removed a slender notebook and quickly flipping through the his scribbled notes to the last page, found the inscribed admonishment that he so treasured from his dear friend Sherlock Holmes : " When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth ". His mind began to clear, as it always did after reading these soothing words from the master...let the eliminations begin....
The detective? Yes? NO? Sometimes the Cop did it. But the flat foot knew himself. He did not do it. Odd sister #2 was obviously shocked, she was in the clear. A lead pipe was not the murder weapon, but this ralwus seemed to know something. And why was Oddity sister number 1 smiling? With a foot problem like that? Still, she seemed innocent, but could we really scratch her off the list? Perhaps not just yet.
The ralwus knows, my dear Watson. It's a matter of keeping an Eye On Life....
=o oh my gosh! I have not thought of it that way, PM. What is going on here!?
In came JamaGenee with a hint of the ralwus, and was that a cryptic clue to Frieda? Was there a hint or trail on the Eye? Was Am I dead Yet next in line? Stay tuned for the exciting answers. You may not get them, but there may be another question. Muhahahahhaa.
*ralwus sneaks out of sea and snatches penguin JamaGenee away* He then returns to look for his precious Frieda who has eluded him. He must take care of this damned detective first.
Why was this ralwus snatching up the pretty damsels? (well that should be obvious, but how does it relate to the case at hand, the murder of Paper Moon?)
aahh, the detective is getting too close and the ghost of Paper Moon is soon to squeal.
It *was* a cryptic clue to the beguiling Frieda. Should she be above suspicion? Should she? Really?????????
lol. Ugh, I saw those dumb Hammertime commercials, and asked the same thing. Why?
Maybe because it worked for Flavor Flav? In any which case, Ill be skipping on it. lol.
....the plot thickens, much like that bowl of oatmeal some child hid behind the dog bed two days ago. The world famous detective Mellas Views comes out of retirement (after being hit on the head with a lead pipe from some sea creature) only to babble incoherently about a certain William Jonathan Drayton Jr. What do over-sized clocks on a chain have to do with the torn pages in an old musty mystery? Dont ask the spirit, he dunno. But fo shizle, the rwzle may become the Public Enemy.
Must look for lead pipe.
(police whistles in the background growing louder, the creature has been spotted)
Lord almighty - there's more action in the comments than in the hub itself! LMAO at the antics.
Ralwus- I thought you already had lead in your pipe? Oh wait a minute - looking FOR a pipe not AT.
PM - Charlie Chan was always my favorite growing up - Every Sunday without fail for me. I've graduated to other horror and mayhem since - but I'll take ole' Charlie any day! And Baretta... back when he was still young :)
The ralwus tries to hide in a dark alcove, but alas, an onlooker gives away his position. He desperately tries to hush Nany JOAT, but she keeps talking. The police round the corner, ralwus grips his lead pipe tightly and a scuffle ensues...........
The ralwus escaped without being apprehended. As he ran laughing he said, "Beware the Oddity Sisters, there in lies a clue"
One hub and I'm hooked. I, too, am a murder fan.
It seems the hubpages murderer attempted to hook the hubber Linda Myshrall to a fan. Fortunately our detective burst into the room before she too got hung.
The detective questioned her about her attacker. Linda had seen nothing. She was innocently looking about when she grabbed from behind. Although there was a faint smell. If only she could put her finger on it......
Oddity Good Sister #1 pedicure kit.. "There's a nail polish bottle missing!"
Stop the case, more important work afoot. We must help find the missing polish. "Hmmm" said the detective, it could be a clue on the murder case...........
One mystery, at least, has been solved: We now know who reads comments before posting and who doesn't.
Paper Moon, judging from his most recent hub, has come back to life only to mysteriously vanish down the road not taken. Plaintively, MindField asks, "Is this the end of The Paper Moon Murders? Or will there be more...."
Tune in again next week, avid listeners - same time, same channel. And remember, to receive a real decoder ring, send in 100 boxtops from delicious, nutritious Toast Oaties cereal before December 31.
This is your announcer, Midnight Hour Meg, saying Peace Out...and happy murdering. Bwahahahahaha!
Twas some nights after murder, when all through the house,
Not a creature was sturring, not even my spouse;
The weapons were hung, by the chimney with care,
In hopes that the murderer soon would be there.
The hubbers were nestled, all snug and online,
While visions of Cris A's graphics, danced in their minds;
And I in my glasses, and Paper Moon all in shreds,
Had just settled down to recap the suspects.
But how can one put a finger on a smell? That doesn't seem possible.
ah ha! I could tell you, but then you would be moved to the top of the suspect list.
but if you told me, how would that put me on top of the suspect list...if you told me, it would put YOU on top of the suspects list (squinches eyes and purses lips, fingers stroking chin, saying 'hmmmm')
Hmmm, back so soon. Sniffing around I see. I believe you are now a top suspect!
Looking at his notes, the detective suddenly realized that Paper Moon knew his killer..! The post-mortem indicated that Paper Moon was dead before being hung on a cardboard sky. Shaking his bandaged head ( that damn Ralwus and his lead pipe ) the detective started down his list of suspects, weeding out those with no known connection to Paper Moon...Three names stood out: Babbley, Ajcor, and Candie...wait, wait, don't forget McGurk, she of the silver tongue and rapacious mind...there is foulery afoot, and Oddity sister # 2 is still looking for it...
It's only a Paper Moon
fortunerep says:
4 months ago
I hope my MD didn't see this poll or what I checked. lol Great Hub
dori