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Childhood Television and Music Influences

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By Pest


Ever since i can remember I have grown up with misic blaring in the background. Momma always played her records real loud when she locked me outside. She was always doing business with "John" and never wanted to be disturbed. I grew into my teens outside of the trailer, listening to Johnny Paycheck wail out Take This Job and Shove It or the Rubber Duck bemoaning Convoy. Abba etched Dancing Queen into my brain stem right beside every single Bee Gees' version of Jive Talkin'...Damn you Bee Gees!!!! Between momma's moans and these few songs I learned that dressing in sequins was okay for a boy, authority figures could shove it, there is strength in numbers and jive talkin' will get you out of any of the aforementioned situations. I was a little bit country and a whole lot of disco. My psychologist says that the plague of disco inflicted on me by momma is her fault and that she should have been put away for child abuse. The disco era is gouged deeply into my psyche and much like an inoperable tumor I must accept it.


Sanford and Son

On the rare occasions that Momma let me stay indoors while she hammered out business negotiations in the back of the trailer, I was allowed to watch the best of Sanford and Son on beta tape. Fred Sanford is one of my all time favorite characters and if you watch the entire episode that I have linked you will see why. Be sure to watch all three! My laughter during every episode kept my mind of from the home rocking on it's blocks and the the screams for more. Momma sure did want more of something back then! Seems to me that is all she use to yell behind closed doors! I could never figure out why I would get the belt for jumping on the bed, but when John came over that is all momma and he did! I could hear them jumping on the bed for hours.


RIP Red Fox
RIP Red Fox
They were so great together!
They were so great together!

Favorite Fred Sanford Quotes

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?
Fred Sanford: I'm calling you ugly, I could push your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

-------------

Fred Sanford: Listen, Esther. In the first place, you can't enter that contest because your not eligible. See one of the things you have to be is a part of a certain race.
Woody Anderson: What race?
Fred Sanford: Human!

---------------

Fred Sanford: Goodbye, dear
Aunt Esther: Oh, you called me dear.
Fred Sanford: Why shouldn't I call you DEER? You look like Bambi's father!

------------

Aunt Esther: Fred, I need your help.
Fred Sanford: But, Esther, I'm a junkman, not a plastic surgeon.
Aunt Esther: But, Fred, I need your truck.
Fred Sanford: I agree. Son, take the truck and run over Esther's face.

-------------

Aunt Esther: We're not going to have this baby like you had Lamont.
Fred Sanford: You gonna to have this baby on purpose?

You get the idea I think. RIP Red Fox



Rated "R"


JR Ewing
JR Ewing
Cliff Barnes
Cliff Barnes

I had many other favorite TV shows back then, but Fred was all I had on tape. Our little black and white TV only pulled in one station! Not like the hoyty toyty renters on the hill always bragging about watching Dallas and who shot J.R. while I was stuck being locked out for "outside fun time" or watching taped Sandford and Son. Cliff Barnes can go to hell! Go to hell right now!!!


Fantasy Island, Love Boat, Bj and the Bear, The Hulk, Dukes Of Hazard, and Grizzly Adams and of course the beloved Mash were all prime time and even though i never watched the rich people's TV shows, but I sure do remember the theme songs!!!!


Even thought the intro songs have stuck with me, I still have questions about most of the I just listed...

Fantasy Island where fantasies come true. The link I provided is a good one. The one dude wants to be a real "swinger", Other than that fantasy I don't know about this show. Why is Tattoo still short??? Why isn't he living out his life at six foot three? It is Fantasy Island after all. Maybe Mr. Rourke is living out his fantasy of having a three foot six midget lover. Poor Tattoo is caught in another man's fantasy!



Love Boat is my favorite lie. How about this for realistic...Pest's love boat TV show. A barge on the Mississippi river loaded with about one hundred trailer homes. Welcome aboard i have been expecting you!!! Bring your own beer! The Love Boat is so fake. No restraining orders no womans sporting one or more black eyes, running around in tube tops. I have to say that the Love Boat is actually the product of a delusional guest on Fantasy Island. The only thing that comes close to true love is the illegitimate daughter that works on deck with the rest of the crew. Like the white trash that she is, she is paying her part of the rent!


BJ and the Bear. Who the hell thought of this title. Really??? Blow jobs and the bear who happens to be a shit slinging chimp. I know the road gets lonely but damn! At least Mr Rourke stayed within his species.


Lou Ferigno worked out with Arnold Schwarzenegger
Lou Ferigno worked out with Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Incedible Hulk is a classic and even I won't touch it too much....BUT! What if David Banner is having one of those days. You know, when EVERYTHING pisses you off! Traffic, David goes off the deep end. At the gas station David has to wait in line then gets cut off and again David takes his rage to new heights. The boss, co-workers...wait I know David Banner has no real job in the series or friends or vehicle. BUT!!!! David wakes up with a raging hard on. Is his boner green? is it truely raging? Does "angry" sex have a totally different meaning for David Banner? I have so many questions for the Hulk.


The Dukes of Hazzard was my least favorite. Daisy Duke was fine and all, but the bloomers she passes off as "Daisy Dukes" are a joke today. It is pretty cool that she was able to coin the term" daisy Dukes"! So I will give her that. The good ole boy system does hold some truth in the country. Hell half of the deputies get their meth from momma. Deputy Allen is always saying that he gets a little head on the side from her now and then. Personally I didn't know that momma shrunk heads. I think she is getting over on officer Allen. He is paying her twenty dollars per session for quack head jobs!


I hope this was some sort of insight as to what the hell happened to me as a child to cause such bazaar Hubs. Thanks for reading!

_____________© 2009 Richard L. Thorp Jr._________________

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Frieda Babbley profile image

Frieda Babbley  says:
8 months ago

Ah the memories! I remember when The Incredible Hulk first came out and I sat and watched it with my dad every Friday? night. I'd sit on the arm of his recliner and we'd pretend afterwards that we were the hulk. And Fantasy Island! And The Love Boat, I still sing that one. And Sanford and Son has the greatest lines!

Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman  says:
8 months ago

This explains so much, Pest!!!

earnestshub profile image

earnestshub  says:
8 months ago

Hey pest. David Banners name is Eric! LOL slightly weird but wholey entertaining hub. Your take on life is priceless! The problem is, I can relate to far too much of it.

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

Frieda! I know...the Hulk wasn't on the air for long but the fun on the recess grounds after the episodes are priceless.

Anna, yes it does explain a little...you are only scraping the bottom of the barrel!

Earnest. Only slightly weird. i failed yet aain! dammit! I was shooting for entirely weird

cindyvine profile image

cindyvine  says:
8 months ago

Dalllas was ruined for me when Bobby Ewing was in the shower and all that happened before turned out to be a dream. That was pathetic!

Whikat profile image

Whikat  says:
8 months ago

I Loved the Dukes of Hazard, I always wanted to grow up to be daisy duke when I was a kid.

Triplet Mom profile image

Triplet Mom  says:
8 months ago

Wow Pest what a great flashback. Every time I see a junky truck driving by I start singing the theme song to Sanford and Son!!

jjrubio  says:
8 months ago

Man you really brought me back....The Dukes of Hazzard, The Hulk, Dallas, Fantasy Island, Love Boat. I also loved.... The Bionic Woman ( whom I was named after), Wonder Woman , Good Times, Murder She Wrote ( I know I will be teased for that one!) ..oh and lets not forget Knight Rider and Miami Vice too...At least I remember those...

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

Triplet mom..I am always whistling the Sanford theme!!!

JJ!!! Murder she wrote??? LOLOLOLLOL!

k@ri profile image

k@ri  says:
8 months ago

I loved Sanford and Son! Never could watch Dallas, too much like a soap opera.

jjrubio  says:
8 months ago

It was a soap opera K@ri!!! LOL.....=)

as wikipedia states: "Dallas is a long-running American prime-time television soap opera that originally ran from 1978 to 1991......."

Cris A profile image

Cris A  says:
8 months ago

I think I've seen episodes of all the shows you described above but mostly in reruns. Back in the day i was glued to all those sitcoms, Punky Brewster, Three's Company etc. I am the youngest in the brood so I have no control over the TV but i think I completed Little House's run :D

Maybe next time you can hub about your favorite 80s music? You know like J Geils' Band's Centerfold or the Knack's My sharona (just thought they'd make ur list) :D

Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett  says:
8 months ago

Shit! That's the connection Pest....we watched the same shit! Cool! :)

Ivorwen profile image

Ivorwen  says:
8 months ago

As a little girl, I loved watching Dukes of Hazard with my Grandpa Henry!  When it was over, he would find The Three Stooges or Bugs Bunny, and we would watch those.  Take this Job and Shove It was my Grandpa Jim's favorite.  He would sing it when ever Grandma wasn't around to glare at him for saying 'nasty' words in front of the children.  Thanks for the fun memories!

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003  says:
8 months ago

Fantasy Island, I would so like to watch those again as I loved them at the time they were broadcast, "The plane boss, the plane!!!!"

goldentoad profile image

goldentoad  says:
8 months ago

man, you're old. I only saw these shows as reruns.

AEvans profile image

AEvans  says:
8 months ago

Dallas for rich folks????mmmmmmmmm...... how would you know about it if you never watched it???? Were you poking around in the windows on the hill?????lololololo

Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom  says:
8 months ago

The frightening thing is how your memories of these American classics are so disturbingly intertwined with your momma conducting "bi'ness" in the back of the trailer when you were an impressionable young lad. It's gotta be kinda Pavlovian for you. Like, whenever you hear someone scream out "More" your warped little brain immediately goes to: "Aunt Esther" or "Julie the social director." I shiver just thinking about it.

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

Toad, we are like ..damn i am old!

AE...i listened to momma and disco though the walls...Dallas and Captain Kangaroo throught windows!

Mighty Mom, You hit it on the head. I was trying to intertwine crap with actual humor. Fred Sanford is true humor in my book!

AEvans profile image

AEvans  says:
8 months ago

mmmmmm.... so why you were listening to momma and disco through the walls , what was J.R. and Captain Kangaroo doing????lolololol

AEvans profile image

AEvans  says:
8 months ago

You've got mail... Yes I am AOL, just like JJ.:)

Elena. profile image

Elena.  says:
8 months ago

I'm not familiar with Sanford, but some of the others.... I'm not sure if they bring up memories or simply make me feel plain OLD! Laugh! Dallas & JR were surely something else at the time!

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

Elena, that is why i added the quotes from "Fred" Red Fox wrote all of that and he was a king in his time!

goldentoad profile image

goldentoad  says:
8 months ago

Okay, I am only half tellin' the truth, I saw many of these as a kid and some as re-runs, of course I love Red Foxx and I think Daisy was one of my first crushes besides punky brewster, my big debate with my cousins and friends growing up is that would we rather have kitt or the general lee, of course the biggest point in the debate was that the general lee was a real car

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

I use to debate the same things. But here at the park, broke and no toys I had to settle for a leutenant johnson. A Gremlin with swastikas and no plates. The LT blaired out "when Jonny comes marching home" when prompted.

Iphigenia profile image

Iphigenia  says:
8 months ago

It was a different experinece in the UK - "Watch With Mother", "Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men" as an infant; A year or so later the "Magic Roundabout" (which I still love). Then there was "Blue Peter" which taught us all sorts of useful 'goody-goddy' things to do and made us all experts at making useless things with sticky-back plastic. the best thing about Blue Peter was that quite a few of the presenters were later 'outed' as being stoned for most of their time on the show. Then there was "Basil Brush" - a rather opionated glove puppet.

I do remember some US shows - "The Beverly Hillbillies" sticks in my memory and "Mr Ed" ..........

Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson  says:
8 months ago

Good one Pest! Sanford and Son was one of my favorites and the very first quote about putting Esther's face in dough to make gorilla cookies is ALSO my favorite. I saw that episode and nearly fell over laughing so hard.

Your account about these shows is too funny. Perhaps you should write a hub about Pest's Love Boat. :)

MellasViews profile image

MellasViews  says:
8 months ago

I dont remember much of these flicks... but I did love Small Wonders... a show about a robot girl that probably no one remembers. --The hulk always scared me... I always thought he needed a really deep conditioner for that fried dry hair! hehe. Fun Post Pets... ; )

G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson  says:
8 months ago

Dukes were good???

...but what was the one with the black guy and his wife and the young blond and her hippy hubby???

oh shit...ummm old age sets in...you know he had curly hair and was little....and had his set ways....3 glasses of wine and I can't remember 20 yrs. back....oh well good hub..Love you G-Ma...hugs & peace

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003  says:
8 months ago

Definitely would want KITT over the General Lee, much more exciting capabilities, plus you could have a two way conversation with KITT.

Then of course there was Airwolf, another great sereis which made me desperately want to learn how to fly a helicopter......

Tribaldancer profile image

Tribaldancer  says:
8 months ago

Funny stuff! I didn't watch a lot of TV. That was my dads domain or my older siblings. I never really had a chance so I always found something else to do. I know every one of those shows though. eeeekkk! (That dates me)

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

Thanks Pam, I have always adored Fred's one liners and quips.

MellasViews, sorry I didn't jar any memories loose, but thanks for reading at any rate!

G-Ma, no the Dukes blew chunks, and I had to list them as my least favorite. I have no idea about the show you are questioning. Now I am curious!

Misty, no way the General has it over on KITT (Knight Industries Two Thousand) KITT is just too fruity. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KITT )

Tribaldancer, it does make me feel a bit aged to re-live these shows.

Cris A profile image

Cris A  says:
8 months ago

good morning, sunshine :D

you're up early. making up for lost time?

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

Yeah, I get the kids off to school every morning. I am making pancakes. You want a couple? I know it isn't Balut, but ... lol.

Cris A profile image

Cris A  says:
8 months ago

nah. but coffee would be nice, thank you. i'd leave you be with your father duties :D

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

I do have some fresh gound stuff. I freshly gound it four months ago for the Holidays. Kids are up and around...after they leave i am gonna get drunk then go out to use the power tools in my shop. Typical monday.

Cris A profile image

Cris A  says:
8 months ago

wow! it can never be fresher and more organic! but i think i'll pass. btw, you may want to use the power tools before getting drunk :D

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

What kind of cahllenge would that be??? band saw running, miter in one hand, vodka and Grapefruit juice in the other...

Cris A profile image

Cris A  says:
8 months ago

okay fine i won't argue. your the expert :D

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

Don't you forget it! Now off with you, quickly write a Hub on how to sew a thumb back on!

Cris A profile image

Cris A  says:
8 months ago

don't mind me. i'll just hang around. i feel tired. you and toady were out yesterday so i had to work triple time! scalawags!

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

OKAY then...I think I will be around later as long as I don't lose too much blood.

Cris A profile image

Cris A  says:
8 months ago

Thanks. I trust you know that if you faint, it means you lost alot of blood already. Oh you'll know that when you come to. That is, if you come to :D

Cris A profile image

Cris A  says:
8 months ago

I'm retiring early. not really feeling good. must be the heat. anyways, i'll try to catch up with y'all later if and when I can. don't enjoy too much now, i hate it when i miss out on all the fun. see ya :D

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

One of my dumber Hubs, but then again aren't they all dumb to a degree?

blondepoet profile image

blondepoet  says:
8 months ago

Hahaha that was just wonderful Pest loved it. I agree Dukes OF Hazzard,can take it or leave it,even the latest movie....Mash has to be the most evergreen it is still on here every night, love that show...I don't watch a lot of telly though always doing something,always......By the way I give you a huge thumbs up for your new look profile,a huge thumbs up...(hugs x0x)

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

BP, you were the inspiration and strenght for the new look profile. So thank you. XOXOXO! ...

Miss Behaving profile image

Miss Behaving  says:
8 months ago

ah the memories!thanks pest...I see we were raised on the same diet of bad 70's pop culture..yum!

Pest profile image

Pest  says:
8 months ago

Bad diet yes, but the character that it built is priceless!

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