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My California Trip

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By countrywomen

Mystery Point at Santa Cruz
Aquarium of the Bay at San Francisco
Aquarium of the Bay at San Francisco
San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge
San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge
Lombard Crooked Street at San Francisco
Lombard Crooked Street at San Francisco
China Town at San Francisco
China Town at San Francisco
Upper and Lower Yosemite Falls
Upper and Lower Yosemite Falls
Mariposa Grove(Grizzly Giant) at Yosemite
Mariposa Grove(Grizzly Giant) at Yosemite
Lake Tahoe
Lake Tahoe
Atlantis Casino at Reno
Atlantis Casino at Reno

My California Trip

Last Friday I got a call from my close friend that she got a job in Bay Area and had to join by Monday since this was a backfill position (i.e., a person left recently without sufficient notice and they had to fill in quickly). Since she was actively looking for a job since last month she immediately agreed to all the terms for the project. Now the big question was to finish the packing and leaving for California. We checked all the deals online and found it was way too expensive on her budget. Then I suggested maybe I can drive down to California that would solve her issue and also be a much needed break for me (also my leave for the year would lapse if unused). But then the return journey would be very tiring and on top of it I had to get leave from my manager. I promptly sent an email seeking a leave for 5 days and also asked my other friend whether she would like to join us at such a short notice. Once the leave was approved for both of us we decided to leave on saturday night or Sunday morning.

It was way too late on saturday and we decided to start early on sunday morning. We got up early and started by 7 am after having strong ginger tea. Started going through last minute checklist and embarked on our trip. I started my civic and burst out "viva california" here we come. I was so excited mostly because this could be the last trip for all of us being single as each of us maybe tying the knot in the near future. I already had 3 weeks leave approved in late december for the upcoming India trip. We drove for about 3 hours and had breakfast of doughnuts/french vanilla coffee at the lowest priced arco gas station(also clubbed it with our rest room break)...hehe. Then by late afternoon reached Medford and found this area gas was slightly more expensive then portland. We were doing multitasking by checking gas prices online(gasbuddy.com) from my windows mobile cell phone then using my Garmin (GPS) to navigate us to costco gas station (which turned out to be $2.17 for unleaded gas). It was about 9 pm when we reached the residence of our classmate in Bay Area whom I informed earlier that we would be dropping in. We had lots of catching up to do while finishing cooking and talking about the good old days. It was late in the night when we slept and got up early to drop our friend to her first day at the new office.

We got up early had couple of croissants and started off to drop our friend to her new office. Now we had the whole day ahead to roam as we wish and decided to paint the town red..hehe We got a whole day early bird discount parking and took the passport ticket to travel for $11. Our first stop was the Aquarium of the Bay and we really loved it. On Thursday and Sunday they have shark feeding which I heard is awesome. Next we went to Fisherman's Wharf had a nice breakfast then set out to exlore Pier 39 and Ghirardelli Square (wish I was there when they have the Chocolate festival in september). We went to the Wax Museum and lots of fun there. Our next stop was Lombard crooked street which we went in a cable car using our Passport ticket. I wish I had come here in the car to try my driving skills...hehe. We took lots of photos from various angles and for our next stop we took a bus to Golden gate bridge. We spent close to an hour and deliberated whether to take a trip to alcatraz island then decided against it. Then we headed to chinatown which happens to be the largest chinatown outside Asia. We saw the fortune cookie factory there. We also came to know that the fortune cookie in Chinese Restaurants was invented right there in San Francisco and not an imported custom from china. We had a nice meal there and was glad I wasn't driving there when people were crossing the street in the middle of the road. We just were roaming around and doing window shopping. We had lots of fun in the cable car roller coaster ride. They have wonderful cable car museum too. Then finally after picking up my car on our return journey finished successfully navigating the Lombard Street.

After our first day outing we went to pick up our friend from her office and headed back to our friends place for the night. Next day we went to Mystery Point at Santa Cruz. There we were amazed by the gravity defying places and we took lots of photos in weird angles...hehe. Then we returned later in the day and early next morning saying good byes to our friends in california headed back to Yosemite National Park. We wanted to see the Glacier point but it was closed for now. We travelled the whole day in their buses and trekked to Mariposa Grove to Grizzly giant (Ancient giant sequoias which existed long before Jesus Christ was preaching his message to the world). We saw lower yosemite falls and couple of other beautiful falls. Then took accommodation for the night and started early the next day for Lake Tahoe. We saw the beautiful beaches and the bluest waters and took a hotel for the night. Then we freshened up and headed to Harrah's Casino to check it out. We just were gazing around then saw a free arcade games and spent some time playing all their games. Then we went to Taco bell had a few beans chellupas and headed back to our hotel to retire for the night. Next day on the way we stopped at Reno. We went to Atlantis Casino and their tried our luck but lost $3..LOL Finally returned back to beautiful seattle and tried catching up with tons of pending emails/tasks. I am still trying to settle down into my regular routine. I need a vacation after a vacation...LOL

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Sascha H profile image

Sascha H  says:
14 months ago

Awesome...it's great to read you're having a wonderful time!Thanks for sharing this with us.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Sascha- Thanks for dropping by. It was hectic last week but now trying to get back to my regular routine. I feel sad to see that southern part of beautiful california is ravaged by fires and hope everybody we know is safe and sound.

Starscream14 profile image

Starscream14  says:
14 months ago

I hope that one day I will visit California. The landscapes are truly amazing... Thanks for sharing! Great hub

VioletSun profile image

VioletSun  says:
14 months ago

I love San Francisco, have visited about 3 times, and always stop at Fisherman's Warf, loved those trolleys, and the fact that its a cosmopolitan city. Thanks for sharing the beautiful pictures, brings back memories.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Starscream14- I wish you get to visit california. Its beautiful and the people are really warm&friendly.

Violetsun- We spent lots of time on the wharf. Yes it is truly a very cosmo city with tons of things to do. Iam glad I could refresh your memories.

Thanks guys for stopping by and commenting.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
14 months ago

Sounds like you had a great trip with great friends.  Good for you!

vrajavala profile image

vrajavala  says:
14 months ago

my favorite picture is the sequoia. I used to live in an ashram in San Francisco and we would go to the wharf every day to distribute the Bhagavad Gita.

My guru's US ashram is in santa cruz on the mountain side. Glad you're well.

BTW, I just found a blog that is pretty awesome. it pays to write there too. You can visit mine if you want to take a peek. You can control just about everything, just like a wordpress blog.

http://starmaker.today.com

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Wanderer/David- Yes I did have a good trip but it was very hectic. I am not used to driving for so long on a single stretch.

Vrajavala- WOW!! You are a practising yogi. My parents read regularly B.G. As it is. I know a few shlokas but still haven't started seriously my spiritual journey. Glad to know your Guru Maharaj resides in california. Thanks for the information and will check out those links.

Laila Rajaratnam profile image

Laila Rajaratnam  says:
14 months ago

Countrywomen..your trip sounds awesome and so are the pics! The Lombard Crooked Street and the Mariposa Grove(Grizzly Giant) are amazing.Anyway, the best part I liked was 'this could be the last trip for all of us being single as each of us maybe tying the knot in the near future' Do I hear wedding bells during your trip to India? :) Good to be young and carefree...but then you do have to experience all the stages in life..goodluck to you!

BeatsMe profile image

BeatsMe  says:
14 months ago

It sounds like your trip was hectic and fun. The pictures are beautiful, especially Lake Tahoe and Atlantis Casino. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Laila- So far in my life everything has panned out exactly as I envisioned in my goals. I am not sure of anything as of now regarding the outcome. But yes during my India trip a boy is coming to our house to see me. I am doing lots of last minute dieting/exercising...hehe.

BeatsMe - It sure was hectic and tiring. I am still recovering from all that driving and my civic which only had 9k miles jumped to 12k miles after the trip..hehe. Glad you liked those pictures. I really love california for their natural diverse beauty. We had been to Las Vegas when we were students and compared to that Reno was really a small place. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

christine almaraz profile image

christine almaraz  says:
14 months ago

Great hub. It felt good to see my homestate in such beautiful pictures. If you ever get to southern cali make sure to visit my tribes casino in Anza Cali. It's called Cahuilla Casino. It's about 45 minutes from San Diego. My prayers are with all the families in SoCal who lost their homes.

Barbie-Perkins profile image

Barbie-Perkins  says:
14 months ago

Countrywoman,

Your pictures of Upper and Lower Yosemite Falls, Maraposa Grove, and Lake Tahoe are stunningly beautiful.

Thanks for sharing. ~ Barbie Perkins

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Christine - I had been to LA, San Diego, Las Vegas and Grand Canyon in my student days. It was one of the best trips of my life. I love california and the people of california are very welcoming. We went to Universal studios, Disneyland, San Diego zoo, San Diego water world (shamu), Las Vegas (MGM, Caesar's palace, Bellagio, and so on), Grand Canyon (Colorado hoover dam and so on). Thanks for reminding me those beautiful memories. Btw do you belong to an Indian Tribe? Even my prayers with all those people and glad to know that the fires have abated for now. Thanks for stopping by.

Barbie - Glad you liked those pictures. Yes its beautiful and the best part is hotels have great off season discounts at this time of the year. Thanks for commenting.

christine almaraz profile image

christine almaraz  says:
14 months ago

I belong to The Cahuilla Band Of Indians. My mom,dad and sister still live on the reservation. I lived on the reservation until I was about 16 but go back whenever I can. I'm glad you loved California. I'm in Colorado Springs now but miss it. I went back in Feb. and spent most of the day at the beach. What a day huh?!!!

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Christine - I belong to India and now residing in seattle, washington. So that fellow columbus wanted to discover us and found you guys..hehe. I don't know how the native americans feel about columbus day?

christine almaraz profile image

christine almaraz  says:
14 months ago

Ha Ha!!!:) My tribe doesn't celebrate it. Like my husband says, how can you discover something that's already been discovered. I think it kind of makes us feel like we don't matter, like they just ignored the fact that we were even around during that time. It would be like me going to a populated country like Belize (it's where my husbands family is from) and saying that I discovered it. There's thousands of people there and I think that everyone should at least acknowledge that we were a thriving group with traditions that we still honor today.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Christine - Glad you take it in such a good spirit. I have read in our American History class that the early settlers were sometimes brutal in eliminating the native tribes. I felt maybe the native americans feel some animosity towards them or atleast feel bad that they were "discovered" by columbus. I am glad you guys still have continued your indigenous culture which is so essential for society to thrive. I guess you can write a hub about the native indian traditions that are still practiced to this day. Iam very ignorant of these traditions. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

Madison Parker profile image

Madison Parker  says:
14 months ago

Countrywoman,

Next time you get to Santa Cruz and don't call me I will be very, very irritated with you! Hehe!!! I live just down the way on the Monterey Peninsula. I actually went to summer camp just a short walk down Branciforte Dr. near the original Mysterey Spot...by the way, it is beautiful in the area, but the Mystery spot isn't so mysterious...

If you come this way again, you will be totally blown away by Point Lobos on the coast just outsid of Carmel. It is so amazingly beautiful. I am blessed to live here and I NEVER take it for granted.

I'm glad you liked San Francisco. It is my second favorite, ok, maybe third favorite city in the world behind Paris and Hong Kong..(my hometown doesn't count, Carmel isn't a city but more a little enclave.) I'm so happy that you appreciated the city by the bay! My daughter went to college at USF there and my grandmother lived there, in the city, so I spent a lot of time there. I might mention I grew up just 30 or so miles away near Stanford University, but a trip to SF is always special. Did you not love the architecture? Amazing.

I'm so glad you loved our area and had a great trip. A vacation doesn't always have to be a trip so far away...I did write an article I think you might enjoy, here's the link:

http://www.trifter.com/USA-&-Canada/California

Sorry, my browser won't let me link it so you can copy and paste! Glad you had a great time.

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom  says:
14 months ago

Countrywomen, these pictures are beautiful. Sometimes the best trips are unplanned ones. Glad you had fun and had a safe return to us here at HP.

Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly  says:
14 months ago

Countrywomen: You daring little soul, you. Running off on a trip at the drop of a hat! Sounds like you had a great time and you took some really great pics. I bet you left out the part where you got in trouble (he,he). You make me want to go back to California! Glad you are home, safe and sound!

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Madison - Once you are in that inner circle I don't care if you get "irritated" as I will still come knocking down your door. Btw knowing you I am sure you do have an open door policy for "poor girls" like us who need a decent bed/breakfast...LOL In my next trip I will try to cover Point lobos. I did love the architecture esp on our return journey we drove via California Palace of the Legion of Honor. I will check out your link. Thanks for stopping by.

Gwendy - Yes some of the best trips are those which aren't planned. I am also glad that it served dual purpose. I had lots of fun although not used to driving for so long and changing our itinerary couple of times at the last moment if not for our GPS guide.

Christoph - Trust me I didn't get into any trouble. Morever we met many gentlemen(Thank God there are still more of your type left in the world) who were willing to help/guide us during our unplanned journey. California is beautiful and the people are even more cool. When we came back calculated our costs the trip was really way too inexpensive compared to our expectations and we had so much fun.

agvulpes profile image

agvulpes  says:
14 months ago

Countrywomen, you make California sound like an exciting place. I really enjoyed the photos, especially the Yosemite falls . I love water falls!

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Agvulpes - California is having mediterranean climate(like parts of South/Western Australia) with lots of fruits/flowers. If one loves nature then it has a lot to offer. Yosemite is one of the first national parks and its beautiful with waterfalls/giant sequoia trees. And the people are really friendly and open minded.

Shanthi  says:
14 months ago

Hear you are going to get married .Poor boy

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
14 months ago

Hehehe....I definitely agree with you, Shanthi. Poor boy, he probably won't even know what hit him. ;)

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003  says:
14 months ago

Fabulous pictures CW, you lucky thing. I wondered where you vanished to suddenly, but now I know.

Good to have you back again :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Shanthi- Thanks for stopping by and commenting. It's about time I settled down into a happy domestic life (Don't you agree?).

Wanderer/David- Nothing is certain my friend. There are lots of if's and but's incase everything goes well then at the most will get engaged for now. Don't worry unless the guy is up for the challenge I won't proceed further....LOL

Cindy - Thanks a lot for your appreciation. I had to go leaving My Lady and hope our Mr.President has been treating you well. It was a sudden trip and went way beyond my expectations. Just yesterday finished catching up at the work front but still looking forward to the weekend another 3 more days...hehe

Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank  says:
14 months ago

Glad to hear thet you had such a pleasant adventure in our state. Ilive about 40 miles from Yosemite-- and I think it is almost impossible to NOT take a good photo there. The view from Glacier point is incredible, but recent snows probably had the road closed.

Lake Tahoe is pretty spectacular too, and SF is a fascinating city. You picked some good spots to sightsee.

mikespec profile image

mikespec  says:
14 months ago

I am from the East Coast and Every plan to get to the West Coast has unraveled, from being registered for GIT, Computer classes in Sunnyvale, and The Racing at Sea Otter Classic, something has always come up. Seeing your Pictures really makes we want to be there. Thanks for the motivation.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
14 months ago

Ahhh, there is still hope. What are you waiting for guys, she's still available.....but only if you are up for the challenge. ;)

By the way, I like the photo of the tree. You should have been in the photo, that way we can tell how big it really is.

Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom  says:
14 months ago

Hey CW! WOW, you sure did cover a LOT of ground on your trip! I'm impressed. Glad you got to see so much of the beauty of our fair state. And the fun of SF too. But of course the line that jumped out at me right off was this one: "I was so excited mostly because this could be the last trip for all of us being single as each of us maybe tying the knot in the near future."

Is this a new development? Are congratulations in order? Perhaps we should start organizing your HubPages bridal shower (as you would say, hee hee). MM

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Mike - California is really beautiful even at this time of the year. But if this is going to be your first visit then next summer would be the ideal time.

Wanderer/David - Ok here is the first challenge question for you what is the difference between a woman and a postage stamp? Next question why did the woman apply lipstick on her forehead? Another question what is the difference between a woman and an indian train? Get 2/3 then we will see....hehe

Usually half sun and shade picture don't turn out well. Btw it's a good idea incase I want to look really slim besides a huge tree..LOL

MightyMOM - Yes my parents have been after me for the past two years and finally early this year I decided its high time I settled down to domestic bliss. Nothing has been finalized yet but will let you guys know if any developments take place. The boy seems to be a decent guy from a good family. I have seen his picture and haven't spoken to him yet. Once we both meet at my parents house and we like each other than who knows....hehe

SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie  says:
14 months ago

Sounds like a fun trip!  I actually liked Reno better than Las Vegas because the people were friendler and there was actually a family like environment in the surrounding city.  Of course I guess my experience there was different because we stayed with friends that were getting married, so I was not just hanging out at the hotels and casinos like when we went to Vegas.

I love California and it is a beautiful place.  I have been to San Francisco a few times and there were inducements by my extended family to move up there.  I am just too much of a Southern California gal though, and I love the extremely warm weather we have down here.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

SweetiePie- I guess it's all about perception. I felt in las vegas there was lot more to do and in that trip we were a big group of students during the late summer before the 2005 fall semester. I will never forget those wonderful memories. I really envy you with the warm weather. I guess that makes californians such warm people...hehe

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
14 months ago

Wow! I'm flattered that I qualify to take the challenge questions. Okay, here goes nothing.

Question 1: The difference between a woman and a postage stamp is that a woman is female while a postage stamp is a mail fee. A little play on words there.

Question 2: I am guessing that the woman in this question is blonde. She applies lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Question 3: Indian trains have a reputation of being rather crowded. So, the difference between a woman and an Indian train is that when you take an Indian train, be prepared to share the train with half of India. :) But when you are with a woman, there is only enough space for two.

So, how did I do? Did I pass?

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Wanderer/David - You got 2/3 good job. There is a link between the second and the third question. Ok here is the answer a woman becomes late due to make up and an indian train makes up for being late...hehe. Btw I did like your creative answer and I must say I have been impressed so far....LOL

Be prepared for upcoming round 2 trickier challenge...hehe

AEvans profile image

AEvans  says:
14 months ago

Absolutely breathtaking pictures, as San Francisco is beautiful and I love the crooked street, driving down it is another story. :) Yes it is time for you to take a vacation after a vacation.:)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

AEvans - California is really beautiful anytime of the year. Btw what happened during your crooked street drive? I am eagerly waiting for the weekend(Just another 36 hours to go)...hehe

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
14 months ago

I passed...and the lady is impressed. Did I do well or what? :)

I am ready for round 2 now.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

ok wait baba. I need to get trickier questions from my bag of puzzles. Glad to see you are so eager. Ok then I will be out with them very soon...

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
14 months ago

Eagerly waiting. :)

Just curious, why did you call me baba? Does it have a special meaning or did I say something in a previous conversation with you or somebody else or....

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Well its an Indian term. Sort of said like wait..chill sort of said in a flow. Its not an offensive term. Its mostly used when we talk to people in a friendly way in India. Ok I will come out with those questions very soon.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
14 months ago

Well, my race is Hokkien Baba, so when you mentioned baba, I was wondering how did you know. I was even speculating that you might be somebody I know in real life. :)

Take your time with the questions but I am very interested to see what you come out with.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

I searched Hokkien Baba and found it has something to do in Malay language. But I have no idea what that race is? Maybe we know each other who knows (I mean being a hindu my soul has had hundreds of reincarnations before this and yours too maybe some point in the past, present or future we might be familiar with each other)...hehe. I am planning to come out with little tougher questions. Lets see when the going gets tough....... gets going (Whether you fill your name in the blanks is to be seen)...LOL

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
14 months ago

Well, a Hokkien baba is a chinese with some Malay blood. For some background, a Malay is a race found only in Southeast Asia. Hokkien is a dialect of the Chinese language. It can also refer to a person from a certain part of China. I hope that makes it just a little bit clearer. It is only when I start to explain this did I realise that a lot of the terms are very local terms.

Maybe we were good friends from a past life. Quite interesting that we can find each other when there is a whole world between us. Won't it be great if we can remember our past lives?

jdh351 profile image

jdh351  says:
14 months ago

I like you hub on California. I am a big fan of the state of California but no longer live there. Your pictures make me want to move back.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Wanderer - Thanks for that info. When I did a quick search I found this malay link hence assumed it to be of some malay origin. It was such a spontaneous outburst and you picked on to it which happened to be your ethnic background. It sure is a lot of coincidence who knows we might have met already I once spent 24hours in singapore during connecting flights. I took that 2 hour free city tour and spent the whole day in changi airport (which is one of my favorite airports in the world). Actually there are people who do past life regression sessions maybe I will checkout that one of these days.

Jdh- California is really beautiful and people are very nice & welcoming. It's got beautiful beaches(esp southern cal), dense forests(redwood),  mountains, lakes and ski resorts. I believe the house prices have dropped significantly in california and this is a good time to buy if you want to relocate to california for good. Thanks for stopping by.

marketingmergenow profile image

marketingmergenow  says:
14 months ago

Great hub! It appears you had an interesting trip. I hope you enjoyed it. Did you get to visit any particular artifacts or places like that while you were there? Like in LA or San Francisco? What were your favorite spots when you were visiting California? I thought the pictures you took were amazing. Thank you for the hard work you put into creating this excellent hub. Keep it coming!

marketingmergenow

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

It was a great unexpected trip. I had been to LA earlier but not on this trip. There was a lot I wanted to cover but due to lack of time and other itinerary like Yosemite... and had to shorten our San Francisco tour. From my all time California memories I would say the Universal Studios, Disneyland, San Diego Zoo, Seaworld, Golden gate bridge, Aquarium of the Bay, Lake Tahoe, Yosemite and many more....hehe. It's a great state with so much to offer. Thanks for stopping by.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
14 months ago

I dreamt that we were Indian soldiers on the Western Front back in 1914.  We were great friends but when we got posted to different divisions, you wagered me $1 that we would never see each other again.  Sad to say, both of us did not come out of the war alive.  But I vowed then that whatever happens, even if I have to cross the sands of time itself, we will meet again.

Well, fate has brought us together again.  I would like my $1 now please, with interest.  ;)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Sure I can give the interest but since you didn't mention the wager in US $ Iam considering it as Zimbabwe dollar. I am happy to give with interest in Zimbabwe $..hehe

Btw 1.00 USD=38,128.72 ZWD

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
14 months ago

Tell you what, I will look you up in our next lives and collect then - hopefully the economy in Zimbabwe is doing better then. ;)

Been reading a little on past life regressions and it seems that the same set of people keeps coming together. So I guess it's possible, even probable, that we knew each other at some time in the past. I could imagine you as the daughter and me as the mother - you'd probably be the death of me. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Me being your daughter is a very funny thought. You are right if you were my mom you would be too worried all the time but still you would be my favoritie person in the world....LOL

Miss G profile image

Miss G  says:
14 months ago

Nice hub! I went to Cali when I was 2, don't remember much of it. But I can see it's a beautiful place. Those pics are beautiful!

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Miss G- You must hardly be remembering anything at 2. It is really a beautiful place and should definitely plan to visit. For first visit plan in next summer. Thanks for stopping by.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
14 months ago

I would nag at you all the time and ground you like there is no tomorrow but among all my children, you would still be my favorite. :)

This is getting weird...hehehe.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Wanderer - WOW!! You are so into it and now I know you will make a good parent....hehe

Thanks for making me your favorite "child" and you will be my favorite "parent" too...LOL

Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee  says:
14 months ago

Great hub and amazing pictures... I sure would hate to have to drive that bendy road lucky it's in California and they don't get snow and ice there

regards Zsuzsy

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
14 months ago

Zsuzsy - It wasn't so difficult since I was driving very slowly on it. Mostly in those parts of california there is no snow. Btw can you spell how to pronounce Zsuzsy?(It seems like a tongue twister to me)..hehe.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
14 months ago

Me? A Parent? A good one at that? That's some food for thought. :)

I'd like to run something by you. They say that when little girls grow up, they grow up to be women. But when little boys grow up, most don't make it into manhood - they stay big boys for the rest of their lives.

What say you?

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer - I have seen mostly guys who are very attached to their mom tend to be just that "mama's boy" no matter what their age...hehe.

Btw who said that girls want to grow upto be women. Don't you know I stopped growing when I was 16. Iam forever sweet 16...LOL

Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson  says:
13 months ago

First, countrywomen, I truly enjoyed this california trip and your pictures are incredible. I was stuck on them for quite some time before I could move on, they are simply beautiful. It's so funny AND true that a vacation almost always leaves a person feeling like they need a vacation to recover. :)

Second, I had equal enjoyment reading the comments between you and wandererh! LOL! Very amusing and entertaining - both of you. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Pam - Yeah, when we are on trip more places we want to cover its only when we come back we recognize we have to recover..hehe. Actually if it was a flight trip maybe I wouldn't have felt so tired. Driving for 10-12 hours a day is something Iam not used to. Glad you liked those pictures. Iam glad you liked those conversations as even I find it entertaining.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

Seems that we are not that far apart in terms of age. I'm 21, just 5 years older than you. Been 21 for quite some time now. Should be turning 22 sometime in the next 5 years. :)

Hey Pam, flattered that you find our conversations amusing and entertaining. You see, I have to work hard to be entertaining, otherwise a sweet 16 year old like her won't even give me the time of day, much less talk to me. ;)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer - Come on baba I would always talk to you anytime of the day..hehe

Btw Iam glad to have a parent who is so young at heart...LOL

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

I'm so glad you turned out so well. Now that you are all grown up I don't mind telling you that there were times I had my doubts, but who you are today makes it all worthwhile. Now, you hurry up and go get yourself a husband and bear me many grandchildren.

(That's what Chinese mothers always say. Is it the same in India?)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- Yes even in India it is somewhat similar. Btw why do the parents keep insisting on marrying at the "right time" instead of marrying the "right" person beats me(maybe I got to be a parent one day or learn from you my "parent")..hehe.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

Well, they want you to be happy. From where they are at, that means not growing old and gray and alone. And you have to marry at the "right time", because you become less attractive as time passes especially if the guy wants kids.

To them, the right guy is out there for the taking. All you need is a decent guy, who does not drink or smoke or womanize, who will treat you well, and can provide for you, and it's a done deal. Chemistry and love and even whether you have anything to talk about is not an important part of the equation.

But to you, chemistry and love, are prerequisites. Probably even more than that, you want a soulmate.

To them, they talk about a right time because they do not see finding the right person as a big issue. To you, you talk about finding the right person because that is the issue.

To them, it's a matter of when you are getting married. To you, it's a matter of whether you will get married.

Dare I say that it is a matter of different perspectives?

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer - Thank you my "parent" for that comment. I agree its all about different perspectives. You are right on that front "decent guy, who does not drink or smoke or womanize" (how did you know that?). Btw I am not going to be "old and gray and alone" I think I told you I stopped growing at 16 (vertically but not horizontally)...LOL

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

Hahaha, somebody is getting fat....ehhh....horizontally challenged. You'd better hurry up and get married before you get too fat or nobody is going to want you. ;)

Sorry, I had to say that. That's what parents do. And besides, it's fun. :)

And about the "decent guy, who does not drink or smoke or womanize", I think it's the same for parents the world. Gets you thinking that whatever color, culture or religion, we are really not that different.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- STOP right there. Don't call me FAT!! If someone is just going to like me for my physical attributes which aren't permanent then it may happen tomorrow, in a year or a decade and then he doesn't want me anymore (that is so sad).

Ok baba I was just kidding...hehe.

I guess that is more of the eastern philosophy in west it's difficult to find single men like that...LOL

tring-sandra profile image

tring-sandra  says:
13 months ago

So Long Discussion My God...........Anyways i wish i could visit that place......

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Sandra- Yes california is a beautiful place and hope you get to visit it. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

Well, if somebody is to like you just for your looks and leaves you when you become an ugly, old woman, then good riddence to bad rubbish. That guy is probably not worthy of you in the first place. And you say that the guys in the west are all about physical beauty and nothing else....errr, perhaps you should frequent libraries and bookshops more. ;)

Sorry to hear about the attack in Mumbai, and glad that all your family and friends are safe.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer - You keep using the wrong words like FAT, UGLY, OLD and so on. Fat = looking little healthier, Ugly = girl next door, Old = mature... maybe you can do a little research on what words to use for similar words.

And yes you are right a relationship with such a person isn't a ideal thing.

By the way I am not actively seeking out men and when the time is right it will happen.

I didn't say guys in the west see only physical beauty I was mentioning about their values/belief system is different from mine and that I said that from my personal observation of men in the west of course even in India nowadays many men indulge in smoking, drinking and girl friends...

Yes those attacks in mumbai are shocking and eventhough I haven't been personally affected but the pain of so many victims& their families rankle me.

quicksand profile image

quicksand  says:
13 months ago

I "read" all the pictures carefully ... very interesting indeed. :) :) :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Quicksand- Thanks for reading all the pictures (or do you read between the lines)...hehe

Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

I used the words on purpose but I guess it does not carry as well through the net as it would have in real life. My apologies.

Just learnt last night that the attacks in Mumbai has claimed the life of a Singaporean. Although I do not know her personally, it does strike much closer to home. Makes you realise that such acts can affect anybody, anywhere in the world.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- I know you don't mean to be mean ever. I was just telling you from a woman's perspective what they like to hear and was pulling your leg...hehe

That is so sad to hear. You are so right my friend that terrorism knows no race, religion, nation as it can stuck any one any time any where. We all need to be united and defeat these forces who want to divide us rather than unite us.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

I believe that I'm a brave person. That if I'm called upon to take up arms and defend my country, I will be able to do so. Even under fire, I believe I will be able to keep my wits and perform the required actions, and maybe even go above and beyond the call of duty.

But when faced with the wrath of a woman, I become a bundle of nerves. I will have no idea what to do, and will do anything and everything to restore the statua quo. Just knowing that you are not mad at me has made my day. I am going out to celebrate! :)

The name of the victim was Lo Hwei Yen. She was a live wire, with a jest for life and living life to the fullest. She was in Mumbai on a short business trip. As you put it, out of this, let's hope that more people will realise that terrorism can affect anybody and it is not about race, religion or nation. It is just about terror, pure and simple.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- Well said as they say "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". Btw you can be "mad at me" (which is ok sometimes)but seriously not "mad at the world" (like these terrorist).

May Lo Hwei Yen soul rest in peace and may her family recover from this sad tragic end to a beautiful life.

"Terrorism" could be anywhere both outside and within nations. When political parties try to spread ill will/hatred or governments who unfairly try to suppress voice of the people for not toeing their line or when certain societies believe their "right to do ethnic cleansing" and so on. We have to allow open, free communication across many frontiers to tackle this problem instead of putting ourselves in straight jackets like us and them. We have to be bold to take the extra initiative to hold the dialogue process to deal with the root cause of this problem.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

Don't worry. I was thanking my lucky stars that I dodged the bullet this time, so I am definitely not going to tempt fate and try something silly like getting mad at you. :)

I think terrorism has always been with us. It was only in recent years that it has taken on a scale and organisation that was unprecendented in previous years. It seems that there is a lot of money and resources backing these terrorists. And I suspect that the backers has an agenda all their own, an agenda that has nothing to do with terrorism, or Islam, or even the US or Britain.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- You showed that you can not only dodge the bullet but can also "bite the bullet"..hehe.

Btw their is no "silver bullet" to solve the problem of terrorism as their are many issues across many frontiers to be tackled. I am not a kingpin to know the agenda of these backers but if I do come to know I will pass on the information to you BABA (now I have to meditate about the goings in the Mountains of Afghanistan/Pakistan)...LOL

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

Wow, I bit and dodged the bullet at the same time. Not bad, if I do say so myself. Maybe I should write a book and sell it on ebay. I will call it: "Don't Spend Your LIfe in the Doghouse - Learn How to Dodge and Bite the Bullet" And I will have a chapter titled: "The Things That Guys do that Makes Girls Mad." by a guest author...you. :)

I should do a little reading on this terrorism issue to see what exactly are the issues involved. I do agree with you in that communication is key to solving the problem, but getting all the parties to sit down at the same table together is another issue althogether! ;)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- I just mentioned bullet and your thoughts are blazing away like a bullet train. Good job keep those thoughts flowing(and keep writing those thoughts) and who knows we may have the next no.1 best seller book on ebay or amazon....hehe

All communications needn't necessarily take place across the board but some take place even with our intentions & actions. Once the ground work is done than that paves the path for further progress. By the way let me know what you find from your reading about the issues that maybe involved in terrorism.

Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1  says:
13 months ago

I was just thinking as I was reading through that you will need a vacation to recoup from your vacation and then your ending answered my thoughts.  It must have been great to up and leave and have sooo much fun travelling, vacationing, siteseeing and the whole works on the spur of the moment with friends.  That's the way to go.  Planning is just too much work.  I would love to visit Yosemite and I just read a hub about it this morning.   All of your photos were fabulous.  Sounds like you had a wonderful time.  Now get packing for your recoup vacation. lol

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Dottie- My recoup vacation was over(too much sleeping and watching movies). We were actually traveling in off season hence had no issues as all hotel/motels were empty and no queue for aquarium or other places of interest. I have another big vacation coming up in end of December (for 3 weeks going to India). Yosemite is nice but summer even the glacier point would be open and you can plan your trip then. I always wanted to study in Boston as it has one the best university (MIT/Harvard). Anyway thanks for stopping by and commenting.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

Oh, I'm sure that if I write the book, it is going to be a bestseller. I mean, there are so many husbands out there who just don't quite get their wives. They love their wives, they do the things husbands are supposed, but yet, the wives complain that their husbands don't understand them.

Come to think of it, I don't think I am qualified to write the book. Talk about the blind leading the blind - both of them will end up in the ditch. lol

I will do a little reading on terrorism tonight. Not sure what I will find but I'm sure the material will fill many hubs. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- Yes Iam sure their are many couples who have communication issues. Their is a great book on this topic "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"

You undersell yourself and I am sure if you write just 1/2 pages a day in a year you should have enough material for a book.

Still waiting for your inputs on terrorism (Btw I wrote a hub about Are Muslims against terrorists?) Let me know what you think of it.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

As you put it, many couples, who loves each other, and have committed to sharing a life together, have communication problems. Take a hypothical case:

The girl asks the guy to take out the garbage - a few times. He doesn't. The girl gets mad and takes out the garbage, and dumps it on his nice new convertible, which incidentally has just come out of the car wash.

Does the guy deserve it? Yes. Is the girl overreacting? Yes.

When the guy did not take out the garbage, the girl is thinking something along the lines of, "He doesn't listen to me anymore. I'm not important to him. He doesn't love me."

And the guy is thinking, "I'm tired. I'll do it later. I'll watch the game first."

If they had just just come together and talked about how they really feel....

That shall be chapter 1 of my book - "Talk to Each Other, and Not Just Talk But Really Talk"

Okay, back to work or I'm not going to be able to afford my Australian trip. Talk to you about terrorists later. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- Good Job!! Nice scenario and great first chapter. Now i am really looking forward to rest of the chapters. Ok get back to work as I really want you to have a great time in Australia (if possible travel to the Great Barrier Reef, Sydney Opera House and Ayers Rock).

I have been doing that terrorist talk a lot in my other hub so I am ok with not doing that for now. Chill and have a great day.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

A good friend bought me lunch for my birthday early this year. And she said she wanted to get me a birthday present and I could just think about what I wanted and we would go get it. I needed a calculator, so she bought me one for me.

Last month was her birthday and we went out for lunch. And I asked her to tell me what she wanted for her birthday and we can go get it. She replied rather icily that if I have the heart to get her a birthday present, I should just get it. She is certainly not going shopping for her present with me. Or words to that effect.

I immediately realised that I made a big boo-boo. While it might be alright for me to tell her what I want for my birthday (I'm already happy that she wanted to buy me a present), it is not alright when it happens the other way around.

Chapter 2 - "Men and women are not created equal - What's okay for you might not be okay for her"

And I would love to hear what you have to say about the above incident.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- First of all without knowing how close you are to that girl I can't say anything. Secondly what are your feelings for each other? Let me know these details then I will comment.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

Well, we have known each other since our polytechnic days, and that was more than 20 years ago. We know each other well enough to go on tours together, but our relationship has always been platonic. While there may have been the possibility of romance in the earlier days, right now we look at each as good friends.

So, dear Abby, what say you? :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Ok now what is this new Abby thing? I didn't have to know the details about your relationship. If both of you are single and such good friends since a long time then I guess she expects you to know what she likes and dislikes (Come on you should be smart enough to notice that) Some times we get most irritated with people whom we like the most(we show our good side to the world but our bad side is only revealed to the select few). Guys usually have a specific wish list (like ipod or iphone or any other new fancy gadget but where as each woman is different in her likes hence you should have keen sense of observation) You both can be more than just "good friends" if you both decide to take that route...hehe

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

Well, we are well past the romance stage, knowing each other well enough to know that it is not going to work out. She's rather headstrong, and while I always give way to her when we go out, that's not going to work in a relationship.

And also, although whe is born a few months after me, she is so much older than me. :(

As for my powers of observation, it is atrocious. I remember the first time we went out. We arranged to meet at 6pm at the foyer of the cinema.

I was 5 min early and the foyer was empty except for a girl standing at the side of a billboard. After waiting for 5 minutes, I got impatient and started glancing around. I met the eyes of the girl standing by the billboard and she started smiling. I looked behind me to see who she was smiling at but there was noboby. I looked back at her and only then did I realise that she was the girl I was waiting for.

In my defence, she changed her hairstyle, wore a sleeveless T-shirt and bright blue pants, which was not what she normally wore to class. Anyway, I was lucky then - she didn't get mad, just amused.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

As I already mentioned to you earlier we try to project our best to the world but to the really close we don't try to pretend at all. Woman are so often pushed to do things against their own will that some woman are pushed to take a stand sometimes(and may appear headstrong). It is the opposites that attract(it would kind of boring if the other person is an exact replica of oneself). If both are the same(like you soft) then both parents wouldn't care to discipline the child. I agree woman do think more maturely then guys but it could be used to your advantage.

A woman who takes the pain to have a make over certainly is trying to impress you and glad that she didn't feel bad that you didn't notice this "new" her. Sometimes when we get so used to a person we may not like every thing about that person but in defense I would say you would know what you are getting into and adjust accordingly.

Their must be some things you look for in your life partner list them. And since you know her for so long try to list at least 5 positive things about her. If their is some overlap between both the lists then focus on that. We may never find the 100% match but if we find at least a few things that we really look for then that should outweigh many negative things that person possesses.

I hope to hear the good news from your end soon.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

Hmmm, what do I look for in a life partner?

She should have a mind of her own, able to think and form her opinions independent of me or other people. She should be passionate about the things she believes in. A good heart and a great sense of humor are also prerequisites.

I could go on but I think you get the idea. And besides, when love happens, it happens. I can make a list, but I'm quite sure it is going to get ignored. ;)

Really don't think this girl is the one, but I will work harder and hope to give you some good news soon. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- You didn't have to spell out your list to me. I meant it for yourself a list and compare it with that girl to find anything in common. Well my father asked me before they were looking for a boy for me whether I had anyone in my mind and I said NO. Then he told me "Marry the person you love or love the person you marry if the former doesn't happen then later is bound to happen". Maybe having an option for arranged marriage isn't a bad idea. With little expectations both start out and the thrill is still their then over a period of time both may fall in love each other. Yes I hope one way or another I am hoping to receive the good news soon.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

The list wasn't for you since you are spoken for...hehehe, just kidding... but for all those single women that might be listening in. :)

Not sure how I would react to an arranged marriage. Although I don't believe that there is just one person for you but that there are many different people out there with which you can have a happy marriage with, you can't discount the fact that there are some people that you just can't stand. While you might have the chance to meet before the marriage, you may not discover that you can't stand the person until after the marriage. Am I being pessimistic?

Having said that, do you know the divorce rates among arranged marriages? If I'm not mistaken, they are actually better than that of "normal" marriages. :)

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker  says:
13 months ago

Hi CW, I enjoyed your california trip! :) Maybe someday I'd get to visit there too.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Kamuste Ripplemaker? California is a nice place and people are even nicer. I hope you do get to visit it one of these days. I hope I get to visit philippines one of these days. I have heard so much about the efficiency of filipinos from Paraglider & other and would like to see it first hand. I also have seen many filipinos at work and they are extremely smart people. I guess I have to brush up on my togolog (I learned a little from a work colleague)...hehe

Salamat for visiting my hub and Paalam my friend.

allshookup profile image

allshookup  says:
13 months ago

Sounds like you had a great trip. I went, but it was back in college in the late 80s. I loved it there too. Just people kept stopping me and asking me to talk. Which made me feel strange. (The friend I was with said it was because of my accent lol) We went to Disney World and Sea World and I got to see a Beach Boys concert in San Diego. I love them. My daddy raised me listening to them. So that was awesome. My favorite thing I did while there was to go up onto the side of the mountain at night and look at the city lights because we don't have them here. They were beautiful. Good hub!

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- Ok I guess I would be glad if my hub serves the purpose of expanding your search for your life partner. Well most of the people have that apprehension and it is justified too. But I feel marriage changes a lot when a person knows and believes that this is the person for the rest of my life then the adjustment takes place. Btw my mom once told me that certain things like culture, food, religion and language are somethings which require a lot to adjust hence familiarity breeds consent(deliberately changed contempt to consent)...hehe Btw any marriage is a marriage (not abnormal or normal). None of the members of my family from both my parents side have ever been divorced including the present generation (almost all of them are arranged marriages). But I don't have any statistics to prove or disprove my point. You are a good guy and hope you find your life partner soon. Are their any matrimonial sites pertaining to the "Hokkien Baba" community?

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

ASU- Yes I had a great trip. It was so sudden and one of those last minute decisions but I so loved the trip. I am planning to write about another hub about my travel trips. I too love to hear the southern accent (Paula's home cooking is one of my favorite since I just love the way she speaks). I had been earlier to those places and they are great. LA and San Diego have a slightly different culture compared to the Bay Area. Southern California has great weather through out the year which I so envy compared to Seattle where it seems to be rainy all the time...LOL

Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

allshookup profile image

allshookup  says:
13 months ago

Paula Deen is my son's favorite cook. He'd like to be a chef when he grows up and he uses a lot of her recipes. He cooks a lot. We watch her shows often. Her "y'all" is very real. We use it all the time down here. I find myself having to stop and rethink about what I type to keep from using that word too much on here since that's how I think and talk lol.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

ASU- WOW!! That's great that he wants to be a chef. Cooking is such a noble thing. It's one of those few things that one does which benefits so many others (if we do it well)..hehe

I hope y'all keep coming to my hubs and I love y'all do write the way you speak. Who says their is one size fit all. It makes the language so much richer when we have so many people speaking the same language in different ways. I have interacted with Australians (the guys from Sydney speak differently compared to Perth). Then guys from London have different accent compared to Scottish. Even myself I say certain words ending with vowels (which seems so funny when I speak)..LOL

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker  says:
13 months ago

Hi Countrywomen, I was smiling at your tagalog words.  Your friend must be teaching you well enough.  And you are most welcome to visit my country. Salamat :-) LOL

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Kamusta Ripplemaker. CW is Mabuti. Your visit makes for me a Magandang araw. And for your Salamat all I can say is Walang anuman. Salamat for your invitation to philipines (I think it is Halika dito philipines?). Tuloy po kayo to my hub and till then Ingat ka & Paalam.

Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal  says:
13 months ago

CW - just happened on this hub - you seem to have had a blast in California!

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Shalini- Yes I enjoyed a lot. i have been to other places in US and planning to write a hub when I get some time. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker  says:
13 months ago

Hahaha Yes, you seem to be getting it quite well. :-)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Salamat Ripplemaker for your encouragement. Tuloy po kayo to my hubs often. I really enjoy even sandali of your time.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

Not sure if there are any matrimonial sites pertaining to the "Hokkien Baba" community, but I'm not sure if they will be relevant. Speaking for myself, and I suspect for many of the Hokkien babas, our ties within the community are not strong. For friendship, marriage, and other things, we will look at the wider community than within our own community. In fact, I don't have many family ties, so that most of my interactions are with friends.

Do you realise that this hub has more than 100 comments? Let's keep this going and see when we can trigger an "out of stack space" error or something at the Hubpages server....hehehe. Wonder what is the record number of comments on a hub?

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- Well I am not sure of the record for the maximum but surely we can attempt for that "out of stack space" error..LOL

Is it common to have inter community marriages? Also you do have an immediate family right (maybe not an extended family)? I do have great friends but I also feel family ties are equally important. So do your friends help you in pairing up with any girl? If one seeks a life long companion then one way or the other one must be hopeful and it doesn't matter love/arranged marriage then. Hope you find some one soon and I will be praying for you.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

I don't know if inter community marriages are common but I know a cousin who married an Australian (Caucasian) and an uncle who married a Malay and converted to muslim. And somewhere in the past, I do have some Malay blood.

Most of my friends are single so I don't get any recommendations from them. They probably have enough of a headache finding their own partners to bother about me. :)

I am considering giving eharmony a try. But I am concerned that the ladies there are real serious shoppers - in that once they find a suitable person, it's "let's get engaged now and married next month". I would prefer to explore friendship first, give it a couple of months, or a year or two or more, and then see what happens. I'm really touched that you are praying for me but don't pray too hard, I would like to enjoy my "freedom" a little while longer. :)

I don't know how many comments are needed to get the "out of stack space" error, but this is one more comment towards that goal.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- Ok baba I will pray that you get your whatever you desire and deserve. Btw if you are not serious about a girl then girls can very quickly find out and walk away. Only if you are keen to pursue a long term relationship like marriage should you consider checking out these sites. I am sure you can give a serious thought about the girl you like with out appearing to be casual about her. Hope you find some one when ever you want to seriously find one.

I honestly leave it up to you whether you want to leave comments or not. You are free to leave a comment only if you want to rather than you have to achieve that goal of out of stack error....hehe

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
13 months ago

Please help me understand.

In the past, when guys were the main, if not the sole, breadwinner of the family, girls depended on marriage more than the guys. There is also the social stigma of being a spinster as opposed to being a bachelor. All that has changed in modern societies, with both parties having equal responsibilities and stake in a marriage.

When I first know a girl socially, I look at her as a friend with no thoughts of romance or marriage. If romance or marriage happens, I think it will come naturally. If there is no romance, there is absolutely no reason why we can't remain friends.

In the past, if I have no romantic interest in a woman, I should not "waste" her time. But in the present day, isn't friendship also a perfectly legitimate goal? I am of course talking about true friendship, which is rather hard to come by these days.

What would a single woman think about what I have just said?

Don't worry, I am very happy to leave comments on your hubs. But please do not feel obliged to reply just because it is your hub, but reply only because you want to....hehehe. Just joking. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
13 months ago

Wanderer- I have been having a little bit introspection these days. Sorry I couldn't back to you earlier. Yes you are right about the social pressures to get married (who else will know except the one like me who is going through it)..LOL

I don't know whether love or arranged but some times when you meet a person face to face and also talk then even during the first meeting their is a gut feeling that tells us whether this is the person for us for the rest of our lives. And such things can't be understood only felt. But all that you say about friendship is also true as sometimes it takes a longer time to realize what we like and whom we like.

Friendship is perfectly normal but mostly what happens is that if both boy and girl are single then their would be some underlying apprehension about each other's intentions. Not everybody can be so objective and look at it purely as a friendship.

Even I am happy to interact with you. But even as a joke I would certainly be curios whether we could really achieve that out of space error......LOL

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

Chinese New Year is a time of the year when all your friends and family will come together and ask THE question, "So, when are you going to get married?" Long story short, you don't want to be the target of that question. :) In fact, I know single friends who go away during the new year just to avoid that question.

Ain't so bad for me but if it does get worse, I know exactly what I will do. The first year I will say that there is a "prospect" we need to get to know each other better first. The second year will be "we're getting serious about each other but she's not ready for friends and family yet". The third year I will get a nice lady to be my girlfriend for a day. The fourth year will see us break up because of irreconcilable differences and the fifth year will see me still too devastated to reenter the dating game.

And the sixth year, I can start all over again. Reckon I should be able to do this at least twice before they wise up, and that will buy me 10 years. :)

Just kidding of course, but I wonder if anybody has been desperate enough to try that.

You mentioned introspection. Sounds interesting. Do share if it is convenient.

Let's hope that hubpages was writter by a mediocre programmer who was fresh out of school. Hubpages was his first real programming experience and he was thanking his lucky stars that he actually managed to get it to work. That's probably the only chance we have of getting some sort of error...hehehe.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Wanderer- Merry Christmas. I also don't relish those conversations. I was actually laughing at your assertion about buying 10 years. Now all I can say is that either you are  a saint or a naughty boy..LOL

Btw no more new chapters in your novel these days. And how is your friendship going with her?

Well about introspection I have written couple of new hubs and one about my personal story. Btw I mentioned your hub in one of my hubs about being popular. I hope we don't get blamed if we actually do make the system get that error...hehe

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

It took me a while before I got what you mean by a saint or a naughty boy. I am neither.

On the one hand, this is the girl with whom I will be going through thick and thin, through sickness and health, and only in death will we part. So, I have no intention of rushing things. I will take my time to find that special girl with whom I want to spend the rest of my life with.

On the other hand, I'm not delaying marriage 'cause I have too many girlfriends. One girl would probably make my life rather complicated, so any number more than one would be a definite no-no for me. :)

Ahhh...introspection...you must be talking about your profile picture not being your real picture. I don't think there is any real right or wrong, just many shades of gray - and you do have geniune concerns. And since you have come clean I will say that the slate have been wiped clean. There is no reason to be introspective. And anyway, as many have said, physical beauty is unimportant, your true beauty shines through in your words.

But there is one thing I must know, and you must answer "yes", if not I'm going to have nightmares. You are a girl, right? :)

If we do get that system error, hubpages must thank us for debugging their code for them....hehehe. I mean, with the amount of memory available these days, there really is no reason for comments (pure text) to generate any kind of error at all.

And merry Christmas to you, hope you had a great time.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Wanderer- If you read my hub carefully you would have had the answer already. But just to confirm again "countrywomen is a girl". Once I get married I will share my pictures(I promise you that). I hope your eventual search yields a soul mate that you truly desire. You seem to be too idealistic sometimes and other times very realistic.  Btw if it really happens then we would be doing the performance testing which hub pages never visualized in its testing scenario..LOL

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

It was fun to ask. :) Now I can sleep easy, with visions of beautiful women chatting with me.

Idealistic and realistic all in one. Actually, you have just described a large part of who I am, which is not really one or the other. I am not extroverted, but not really introverted either. I have some eastern values, but I definitely will not be at home in China. While I do subscribe to western principles and values, I can't agree with some of the things in the western countries. Maybe that is why I dislike stereotypes. And Singapore, being a melting pot of sorts, is the ideal home for me. :)

Hmmm....since we are doing performance testing for hubpages, do you think that it would be okay to ask for a small renumeration for our efforts?

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Wanderer- But the fact that you asked me did rankle me a little bit (as if you didn't trust me). Btw yes you do have a little bit of everything. Yes singapore is a great place which I had a brief exposure once on short layover their. I do hope we get the reward but in your statement my short name is included which I will let you figure it out.....hehe

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

Along with the question, I would have have cocked my head, raised one eyebrow and looked you straight in the eye. That way, you would have known that I wasn't serious. Unfortunately, that's not possible in online interactions....yet. :)

Along with the little bit of everything, I find that I don't have a favorite movie, or favorite food, or a favorite anything - I just like different things in different ways. Wonder what that says about a person?

"I do hope we get the reward but in your statement my short name is included which I will let you figure it out.....hehe". Hints?

One question, "Do you like to wear caps?"

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

But you still did hurt me a little. Anyway forget about it. That says that you are a very objective person and tends to evaluate things on a case to case basis. It is a good skill to have to be able to analyze things unbiased. It is a continuous four letter word (no more hints given to a smart person)..hehe

I don't wear caps unless I have to. Nothing to like or not to like about it but why?

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

And now you made me feel bad - I'm sorry. And if I ever do it again (and I probably will), please do tell me and I will apologise...again.

You really can't be closer to the mark! You can tell all that from what I said? You should be a detective. Tell me more about me. :)

Okay, the four letter words in the statement are: "Hmmm, that and okay". So one of those must be your short name.

The thing about caps is just a hunch but it is probably nothing. Time will tell....hehehe. You know, I really can't remember the last time I wore a cap - must have been 10 or more years ago.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

Ohh, nearly forgot, happy new year. Let's make sure 2009 is a great year. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Wanderer- Since I am a little open with you I said that. But since you did it I will have to pronounce the punishment. May thou receive 100 whips from a wet noodle...LOL

Well as for me being a detective!! I don't think so and anybody who reads the last couple of your replies would feel similarly it is called drawing conclusions. None of those words you mentioned are my names. Keep trying and you would get it. Ok now you got to tell me about this cap hunch. Happy New Year 2009 to you too. As for me still trying to enjoy the last few hours of 2008. Bye take care.

 

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

100 whips from a wet noodle. Actually it doesn't sound too bad. Probably it's going to be a little like a massage. Do you think you are letting me off a little too lightly? I think 500 whips would be more befitting of the crime. :)

The thing about caps is really just a hunch and I am 99.99% sure that it is nothing. You said that you don't wear caps unless you have to. When was the last time you wore a cap?

I think I know what you mean by a continous four letter word. To make this interesting, does your short name appear in the following?

"It was impossible to survive on their meagre rations, so the soldiers would also hunt and fish for food."

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Now did you mean 500 whips from the wet noodle or something else....LOL

Well during the california trip I wore a cap. But usually when I am outdoors and wearing western clothes like jeans I put on a cap.

I think you got the whole sentence wrong hence you still didn't get it but keep trying..hehe

 

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

Well, of course from a wet noodle. I can imagine the executioner trying to swing a wet noodle and bring it down as hard as he can, and time and again the noodle will break until the executioner gives up in frustration. Hmmm...I think this punishment is for the executioner. :)

Interesting that you should mention blue jeans, 'cause I'm always partial to wearing sneakers with blue jeans. But I have friends who say that blue jeans go with practically anything. What shoes would you wear with blue jeans?

Just to confirm, your short name has 4 characters, like Rani and Riya. Yes?

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

It is not the physical whip that should hurt you but the thought of remembering 100 times why you  are getting whipped wouldn't be forgotten(Now for whom is the punishment?)..hehe

Well you are right dark blue jeans tends to go with any t-shirt. It depends if casual then sports shoes otherwise for trails I have hiking shoes.  Btw what do you think about long skirts?

OK you will have one last chance before I will reveal it in a email. Have a great day.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

Awww...now getting whipped is no fun at all. :(

Long skirts are definitely no good for hiking. How are you going to climb over a fallen tree in a long skirt? And it's going to be rather tricky to negotiate a steep slope in that skirt. On the other hand, when hiking in areas where wild animals are known to roam, always good to have at least one person in the party in a long skirt, while ensuring that one is in more suitable attire.

If I have to guess, then my guess will have to be Rati. I'm right, right? :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Don't worry the only whip you will ever get from me would be whipped cream on strawberry's ..LOL

I was talking in general about long skirts not while hiking. And also the terrain you describe isn't something I would venture out with anyone. Now as for the most dangerous animal on planet I don't even have to mention it hence stop scaring me about "wild animals" as we all know who can be most wild in such circumstances...hehe

Wrong again ok then I guess I will have to reveal it unless you need a one last chance.

 

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

Whipped cream on strawberries - getting punished sounds like fun again. :)

When hiking in such terrain, I would only be interested in finding a clearing where the ground is not too damp. When night falls, I will lay a sheet on the ground and pray that the skies will be clear. I will spend the night looking up at the stars. If I have a female companion with me, I will invite her to lay down beside me and we will spend the night talking about forever until sleep overtakes us. BTW, what most wild of wild animals were you talking about? ;)

Seems that I'm not as smart as you think I am. I have got a list of about 40 Hindi names and Rati is the only one that appears in that sentence. I am a little stumped. :(

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Well I would want all my friends to have fun and enjoy. WOW!! That is quite a romantic thought. For me going on a boat ride in full moon night would be totally amazing. Well don't worry you don't seem to be the "wild" type...hehe Keep trying....One last chance and then I will email you....lol

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

A boat ride in the full moon. The gentle rocking of the boat, the reflection of the moon shimmering on the waters, and maybe some crickets in the background and an occassional breeze....you can seriously fall in love under those conditions. :)

Well, I'm out of ideas so I'm going to pick one name from the list that I have. I will say that you have to be an Asha. It sounds exotic and down to earth at the same time. And it means hope. Pleased to meet you, Asha. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Of course it is meant to be romantic as much as sleeping under the stars was meant to be..hehe

Ok I will email you shortly and you will have the answer since you are filled with Asha (hope) now...LOL

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

A boat ride under the full moon is meant for whispering sweet nothings in each others ear, for comparing who loves who more and to count the number of ways you love each other. I feel like just going out and just getting myself a girlfriend so that we can do those things. hehehe

Have you sent me that email? If you have, then hurray! We have uncovered a bug. I didn't get your email. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Wanderer- You never know someone may be right in front of you whom you may have never noticed in that way. When we change the way we look at things then the things we look at also change. Ok baba I will send it although for a brief moment I was tempted to put the blame on a technical glitch on the part of hub pages email system...LOL

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

I really don't think there is a potential life partner among my friends. I have known most of them for many years and any interest there might have been initially have been replaced by reality...hehehe. But there is one girl which I have known for just one year, whom I find quite intriquing. You may get some good news yet. ;)

Sigh, it wasn't a glitch after all. But, now I know your name. :D Gonna walk around Hubpages with my nose in the air and telling everybody I meet that "I know something you don't, and I ain't telling."

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Well we had a discussion about your close friend and that gift buying episode..hehe. And is there some body else you are talking about now (at least that shows you are good at keeping secrets and even my secret is safe)...hehe

Btw I haven't given you any bragging rights yet so stop doing that...LOL

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

This is not that close friend. That friend is too fierce for me and I have no idea how to handle her when she gets upset. This new lady may have just the right combination. She is nice enough to let me have my way, and she knows when to put her foot down. Anyway, that's what I think as that has not been put to the test yet. :)

No bragging rights yet, huh? Okay, I will wait until you tell me your full name then do I get bragging rights?

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Why don't you look at it this way. If somebody is strong then she can handle all your issues(and then you don't have to worry about so many things). Better to get her on your side to deal with others. Let me know what you think of my idea? I am now getting a little curious about whom you are mentioning in these lines. Even if you know my full name I would doubt if I would ever give you bragging rights rather it would become a duty then not to exercise your rights(now I am sounding like a communist)...LOL

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

Wow! A person that is strong so that she can handle all my issues so that I don't have to worry about so many things. Great characteristics in a business partner, or someone in an executive position. But you might not want those same characteristics in a relationship.

This new lady is someone I bumped into early last year and we became friends. I find her interesting because she's multi-dimensional. She has a degree in maths, likes sci-fi, sings and dances (used to). I find that a rather refreshing combination.

I don't get bragging rights? Ever? That's so sad. But I still know something they don't and I ain't telling. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Well a strong woman surely is an asset. But why wouldn't you like those qualities in a personal relationship? Great and it sounds like someone special. Hope things work out for the best for both of you. Btw I went to your site about job quitting and it was pretty good.  Maybe you already have some bragging rights after all..LOL

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

I read what I said and I think I said it wrongly. What I meant to say was that that girl is not for me and that she is a strong person, rather than that girl is not for me because she is a strong person.

As far as I'm concerned, things have already worked out for me with the new girl. Don't know what's in our future, but I know I already have a great friend. :)

So, I get to go around Hubpages saying, "I got a great website and you don't", instead of, "I know something about CW that you don't and I ain't telling". There is a Chinese saying that, literally translated, goes something like this: "No fish, prawn also can" It means that if you can't have fish, prawns will do as well. At least I got something to brag about...hehehe.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Glad that's how you meant it. Because last year around this time when I went to India as per Parental wishes I met a boy and without going into the details I will tell you I felt a little disappointed with the attitude he possessed about woman who have a strong mind. I am not saying anything about you it is just a little reflection on my part. Well actually this gives me an idea to write a hub about this issue.

That is so nice to hear and just remember that no person is ever going to be "perfect" but when we have a certain things/values which are more important than others then we can hope things work out for the better when those few important things/values are met. And considering a life partner as a great friend is wonderful attitude.

Well I guess you are never going to cease from gloating over that fact..hehe. It is actually a bit amusing now coupled with your Chinese wisdom..LOL Have a great day and now I will start working on that hub that I just thought about.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

What I find shocking about that guy is not so much his attitude about strong women, but how he handled the situation. You guys talked over the phone for a few days so some sort of connection must have been formed. For him to "chicken out", and get somebody else to deliver the message, it reflectes rather poorly on him. I guess he is worried about the lecture he is going to get from a strong woman about his attitude towards strong women. :)

I really cannot imagine living under the same roof with somebody who is not a friend. In time, the romance will fade and problems will arise. If we are not great friends, there may be nothing that can hold us together.

Okay, I will celebrate the prawn for now, and have my eye on the fish. And if I can't get the fish, gonna try for the squid. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Wandererh- I guess maybe he didn't want to break the "bad" news to hurt me or maybe it was a family decision (we will never know). I bear no grudge against him and I have never even thought much about it too. I wouldn't have given him any lecture and would have rather been quiet at that time.

There can be many scenarios in life. One relationship the couple can start as strangers and end up as the best of friends like my parents. In some relationships which start off as friends may end in bitter results. There is no hard and fast rule how things work out in the long run. But one thing is certain that both need to be equally committed in the relationship to make it work. 

I guess you are a seafood person. Once a Japanese friend of mine sent this joke to me(it maybe a little crude): What is the difference between a Chinese and a Japanese? Japanese like seafood and Chinese like seefood (what ever they see is food)...LOL

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

So nice of you not to give him a lecture. Many Singapore girls would probably have given him a earful. A friend of mine would ask him which mountain he came down from - and she's being nice. ;)

Have to totally agree with you there. However similar both parties might be, differences will arise and without a deep commitment to make it work, (and compromise), most marriages will end up on the rocks.

Well, I'm not really a seafood person but I do like crabs. Not those crabs that comes in shells and all (too much work for too little meat), but crabsticks. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Well sometimes not giving a lecture would send a stronger message then giving one. Anyway each person has a different way of dealing with such issues. Well thanks for agreeing on my view so now what do we disagree on to prolong this conversation to meet our testing goal?...LOL

Ok how is your book writing coming along? Any more chapters have been added or not. Btw we have an Indian Chinese restaurant here and one of their favorite items is "Crab Rangoon" where there is no crab meat but only made with cream cheese and it is really a popular snack for many who visit that restaurant.  Btw the earlier joke about seafood don't tell or forward to anybody else as even my Japanese friend told me that some of the Chinese don't like them and take a great offense to anything they say. Bye take care. Have a good day.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

Ahhh...the silent treatment. Again, I agree. Very much worse than a lecture. When she lectures you, at least she talking to you. :)

You are Indian and I'm Chinese. You have lived in many different places and I still go back to the apartment I grew up in practically every day. You are female and I am male. And you worry that we don't have things to disagree about? You worry too much....hehehe

I start looking at the book again. :) Not sure if I can add any more as I think that all both parties need to do is to talk, compromise and be sensitive to the other party.

In Singapore, we say that the Chinese will eat anything that moves. I think it's similar to the "seefood" you mentioned. I don't take offense to the joke and I doubt anybody in Singapore will either. Actually, I think it's the Japanese that eats seefood, I mean, notice how they take the trouble to really decorate their food. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Well it is called passive resistance. When we react immediately then the person gets defensive but when we don't then the other person hopefully introspects and maybe will see the other person's point of view. But when it doesn't happen then I do suggest a honest heart to heart talk once the tempers are cooled.

That's good to know that we have enough differences but is that sufficient enough to have too many disagreements...hehe

Well your writing the books last chapter now (both parties need to do is to talk, compromise and be sensitive to the other party)..LOL

I never understood why the Japanese and Chinese have some sort of underlying preconceived perceptions about each other. Maybe the past history between them has something to do with it. Both of them have no issues with others like Koreans, Filipinos or Singaporeans(good for you)..hehe

 

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

I had thought that passive resistance started with Gandhi but, according to Wikipedia, it started centuries before. Wonder if the very first person who used it was a man or woman. :)

Well, I won't really call them disagreements. I would like to call them discussions. By coming up and tallking about stuff, even if we don't disagree, I find that there are times that we learn something new, or gain a new perspective.

I got an idea for your next hub, and my book's bonus chapter, "The Things Guys do that Makes Girls Mad'. You could spread it over a couple of hubs if the content is too much for a single hub. hehehe

Probably true that some Japanese and Chinese have problems with each other because of their past history. Do you know that some older Singaporeans still do have issues with the Japanese because of the behaviour of the Japanese soldiers during the Japanese occupation of Singapore. While the behaviour of the soldiers were definitely atrocious, to say the least, I do believe that they were also a victim of circumstances. You can check out the "stanford pricon experiment" as an example of what can happen under psychological stress.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_exper

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Wanderer- Passive resistance is just a noble way and nobility has always existed. Gandhi just tuned it to a massive scale. Well most of the great names in History were men or maybe the historians never gave enough credit to woman (I am not sure).

I am totally with you about semantics as we all have to keep the "discussion" going to achieve the goals of understanding each other better.  Probably you can open a hub request for that then I am sure we would receive multiple replies/perspectives and even I would come with one perspective. History shouldn't make individuals be "perpetual slaves" to real/perceived historical wrongs. One has to move on to the present reality and coexist peacefully.

There is a saying about personal morality "first we make our habits then our habits make us". Anybody can be conditioned over a period of time and that experiment seems to prove that reasoning. Have a great week ahead.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

You're right. Thinking through the past few centuries, off the top of my head, I can think of only one female name, Marie Curie. Even in recent times, male names still dominate.

Interestingly, India had a female prime minister. Is there anything in India's culture and political envirnoment that makes easier for a woman?

Made a request as you said and let's see what comes back. Hope somebody replies. Should be fun, and probably quite educational as well. ;)

It was a bit scary reading what happened in the experiment as practically everybody involved, including the experimenters, were role playing within the short space of 6 days. I shudder to think what can be "achieved" in a longer time period and with a more focused approach.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

They say some of the literary works could have been made by woman but since they wouldn't have been accepted in those times they started having male pseudonym.

Not to discredit her or anything but most of the woman in Asia who have come to higher echelons of power have done because of family legacy and she also happened to be the daughter of the longest serving PM of India.

Yes I saw that request and have read their input. Hopefully I should have something out soon too. Yes sometimes we may become what we don't want to become if we are put into that situation for a long time.  Btw have you heard of Stockholm Syndrome where the victims may start liking their captors: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
12 months ago

Must have been sad knowing that you have talent but nobody is going to appreciate it 'cause you are female, forcing you to take up a male name. :( It's much better now but I think that modern society is still largely male dominated. Do you think that's an accurate statement?

Quiz: She's lived a few hundred years ago, I think she commanded an army, she heard voices in her head and was burnt at the stake. Help me out, what's her name?

Looking forward to your hub on what makes you mad. Hope I don't get mentioned. :)

I have heard of kidnap victims identifying with their captors, but didn't know that it's called the Stockholm Syndrome.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
12 months ago

Sometimes it becomes difficult for a woman to choose between her personal success and family happiness (even I would choose family happiness). After a point it becomes very difficult to maintain a work life balance and one is left with little option unless one wants to go against the system (which I personally don't like). It also depends on the ambition level and happiness perception of the individual too. I don't have any complaints with the "male dominated" system but still feel a little leeway or support should be given to those brave woman both by the family/society.

Here is the answer to that question: http://www.ewtn.com/library/MARY/JOAN1.HTM

You never know you maybe positively mentioned..hehe. My workload has increased and finding it difficult to keep up with lots of other things recently.

Btw have you heard of Hawthorne Experiment/Effect where a behavior of an individual changes based on the external factors: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawthorne_effect

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
11 months ago

Actually I wonder why is it that a woman would have to be asked to make the choice. In fact, this is the first time I have thought of it this way. While I think I would choose family happiness over personal success, I don't see why the 2 have to be mutually exclusive and have never considered that I would ever be asked to choose.

I'm quite sure that a woman invading a male dominated system is probably not going to have an easy time. You know why? We have a secret fear that the woman might turn out to be better at the job than we are....hehehe.

You mean I am going to be positively mentioned in your hub? Then you should hurry up and write it already. :)

I haven't heard of the Hawthorne Effect but it sounds a lot like common sense to me. I mean, if I am in a different situation, or if I'm being observed, my behaviour will definitely change. And after some time, it will go back to "normal" as I get used to the situation or to being observed. Or am I missing something?

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
11 months ago

Things are a little different for woman compared to men and it is understandable due to so many factors like pregnancy, after delivery and  so on. Woman have to deal with situations as they come across in life. Well actually sometimes those woman who want to succeed(in corporate world) exhibit some behavior which makes even fellow woman difficult to relate to them. I guess ultimately it should be about the right man/woman for the job.  I am swamped with so much on my plate as one of my work colleague left the company. I will try to write as soon as possible.  Yes your conclusion is pretty close and I just wanted to share some thing which I know. I guess I feel I am able to relate to you as you seem to value my opinions/views in spite of my age (which sometimes can be a stumbling block in making others accept/acknowledge my opinions).

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
11 months ago

In the past, I would tend to think less of the girl who chooses family happiness over personal success, and the family who would allow her to sacrifice her personal success. Now, I do understand that many issues complicate matters, and that it is not just black and white.

I can understand having too many things on your plate. You take your time and write a great hub. And if you have anything negative to say about me....be gentle. :)

You seem rather level headed to me, and talk sense, compared to some other hubbers. When I was your age, chronologically speaking, I think I was very much less level headed. So, don't worry about your age, you hold your own very well.

It's Chinese New Year tomorrow. Going home for the traditional reunion dinner in half an hour's time. And tomorrow, I will get ang pows - which are red packets with money inside. I like Chinese New Year. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
11 months ago

I am glad you are able to see things from many perspectives. I will write it shortly but can't think of enough material. Thanks for the high opinion about me. It really means a lot coming from you. I wish you lots of Happiness for this Happy New Year. So what predictions for the Year of the OX? I hope you have a great time with your family and hopefully you get cartloads of ang pows (and laughing your way to the bank) :-)

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
11 months ago

You don't have enough material for your hub? That's easily solved. Just socialise more with your guy colleagues and you are going to have more material than you bargained for....hehehe

I can always depend on your comments to be well thought out, taking into account the opinion and feelings of the other party as well as yours. Thank you for thanking me for my high opinion of you, it is well deserved. :)

The Ox is the sign of prosperity through fortitude and hard work. Similarly, the year of the Ox will be filled with opportunities, but it will require fortitude and lots of hard work to take advantage of those opportunities. While there is a lot to be said for working smart, this year will be more about putting your nose to the grindstone and soldiering on. (Sounds like I can write one of those newspaper columns.) My personal prediction for this year....it is going to be an interesting year. :)

No cartloads of ang pows but just a pocketful. But free money is free money. :) I wonder which clever child invented the tradition of ang pows.

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
11 months ago

Well outside office I just talk to a few of my class mates over cell phone. But then those with whom I keep in touch are all nice guys hence I am not sure if I have any particular issues to write about. Well I will humbly accept your compliments. It sure is an interesting year and I will have to be hard working rather than hardly working..hehe

I am glad you like free money which is such a good tradition. You know previously I used to wonder when they say "Beggars can't be choosers"(you know nowadays in India even beggars are becoming choosy about minimum amount of alms....now that is inflation my friend)....LOL

hubber-2009 profile image

hubber-2009  says:
11 months ago

Las Vegas, also in california is this one road in movies that is twirly and a cool road

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
11 months ago

Las Vegas is in Nevada and on our trip we went to Reno that is in the border of northern California and Nevada. Reno isn't as popular Las Vegas which is shown in many movies. Thanks for stopping by.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
11 months ago

You are so lucky to be surrounded by nice guys. Then again, maybe there is something to the phrase, "What goes around, comes around."

So, the game is up. Seems that when you are at work you are hardly working and spend all your time on hubpages. :D

You mean that in India, beggars will look at what you give and if it is too little, they will run after you, tap you on the shoulder and say, "Excuse me. I'm returning your humble contribution. 'cause if this is what you can afford to give, I think you need it more than me." Who knows? Some kind hearted ones might actually give you something extra out of their own pot. :)

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
11 months ago

It takes a lot for someone not to be considered as "nice" by me...LOL. But in general yes I have always been lucky that guys have been nice to me. I guess when we respect and treat others as friends even they will be nice to us.

Ssssshhhh!! Yes I do that I minimize my hub pages window at work and keep checking back often. But seriously I do run lots of tests and while waiting for the results I check HP (trying to rationalize now)...hehe

Well they don't chase you but they will make unhappy faces and some would say they would get nothing for the amount we give them. It isn't that bad (you almost sound it like the beggars are demanding in that case they are beggars no more)...LOL

 

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
11 months ago

Then I really do not want to meet someone that you consider not nice. :) Ever notice that when you treat someone nicely, even when that person is fuming with rage, that person will tend to cool down and speak to you nicely? So, when you are nice, you attract nice people and make nastier people nicer.

You run tests in your job? My friend used to have a job at Phillips in which she run destructive tests. Effectively, she throws TV sets around. Cool job! Are your tests that exciting?

I think you are rationalizing. If you are not, I think you would not have to minimise HP. What do you think?

What do you think of the mentality that a beggar has? You don't owe them a living, so they should be happy with what you give them. What do you think gives them the mentality that they are entitled to your contribution?

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
11 months ago

Now someone I find not "nice" you may find nice and vice versa hence I guess it again varies from individual to individual :-(

Thanks for that compliment. Now you have too high opinion about me...LOL. Btw can you send me your email addres?

I am developer but I do maintain lots of scripts which I have to test in our Dev environment and yes it is not as much fun job as your friend has...hehe.

Well I don't like people sneaking up on my back when I am browsing non office sites. I just quickly check HP and then minimize that window in my laptop. Also my manager keeps thinking I work too hard (since I hardly get up from my desk and now only if he knew)...LOL

Beggars are dressed so shabby with hungry faces or kids holding on to their mothers that it is hard not to feel pity for them. You have to visit India to know what I am talking about. But yes they aren't entitled but we feel entitled to give them something. Ok then eagerly awaiting for your comment. Bye take care.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
11 months ago

We don't seem to be getting anywhere on disagreeing on stuff, so I'm guessing that we would probably like the same kind of people....most of the time. :)

You do scripts? Cool! When I've got a software problem, I know who to ask. :)

Just wondering, has anybody been able to sneak up on you while you are browsing HP?

As you would expect, there is no easy answer. You can simply say that the world does not owe them a living and they should go out and get themselves a job, and apply that to every beggar, whether in India or elsewhere.

You can also say that we should not give to beggars, as that encourages their habit, and they may remain beggars for the rest of their lives.

On the other hand, you can say that it is easy for me in Singapore to say "go out and get a job." There are places in which the beggars just cannot get a job, whether it's because they are not qualified, or because there are not enough jobs to go around, or for other reasons. Begging may be the only way they have of feeding their families.

There are lots more I can say about this, but I think it's your turn to speak. :)

LA28 profile image

LA28  says:
11 months ago

Hi! Love the pics. I recently moved from Cali so it was nice seeing those images again. Oh how I miss the beauty. Thanks 4 sharing....it brought back a lot of memories.

LA

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
11 months ago

Wanderer- Yes I do agree that we might just like the same kind of people. That's the last thing I want to discuss outside work (I do enough of that already at work hence no more scripts please). Well things have been little close for comfort at times and have been almost caught couple of times (not that it is against any office rules but still I don't want to appear as if I spend too much time browsing).

Well I do try to buy bananas or some food items as in that case they will at least not misuse the money. You are right it might encourage begging but things aren't always easier to look in the bigger picture and one does feel bad when these people are staring right at our face with their sad conditions. Ok I will email you shortly as promised.

LA28- WOW!! You stayed in California (it is a beautiful state) and must have missed moving from there. I am glad some of your memories were refreshed. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

tushar09 profile image

tushar09  says:
11 months ago

hey nice hubs... hey can you tell me how to get on forums and in search page of hubpages...

reply..... thanks

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
11 months ago

Tushar- Thanks for appreciating my hubs. I don't know whether I get your question. But anyway as per my understanding click here: http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/10345

Then click on "Post Reply" to submit your post. I hope I have answered your query if not then please don't hesitate to clarify your question. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
11 months ago

Actually, I like most types of people. My friends come from varied backgrounds and have different characters. I used to say that if I were to bring all my friends together in one room, they are going to fight like cats and dogs. :)

I made another hub request: "The things girls do that makes guys mad." Thought that it is only fair that the guys have their say as well. :)

I wonder if it is fair to say that the beggars are there because we made it possible for them to exist. They beg because we give. If every single one of us stops giving, the beggars will stop begging and move on to something else. And giving food items is a good way to dissuade the occupational beggars. :)

BTW, I got your email. :D

LondonGirl profile image

LondonGirl  says:
10 months ago

somehow, the unexpected and last minute travels are always the best!

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen  says:
10 months ago

Wanderer- I am really missing your book chapters and yes by now you must have learned that some girls sometimes aren't as open as guys like you in revealing everything about themselves online. That is a wonderful request and I would check the responses to your requests.

LondonGirl- That is so true sometimes unplanned trips turn out better than expected. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

wandererh profile image

wandererh  says:
10 months ago

I wonder if those chapters can be the start of a short ebook. Do you really think that there are guys out there who will benefit? I would believe that what was said in those chapters would have been common sense to any guy who have been with a girl for any length of time.

Well, of course girls are not as open to revealing things about themselves online. Girls have stalkers while for the guys, we could only wish there are girls who'd want to stalk us. :)

GeneriqueMedia profile image

GeneriqueMedia  says:
9 months ago

Great pictures! What camera?

Glad you enjoyed Cali a bit...its a nice State, but not my favorite. I only live here.

G|M

visitorinsurance  says:
8 months ago

Very Interesting. I liked the crisp pictures that made me remember my trip to those locations.

Coincidentally my trip included a lot of the spots you have described. There was no Garmin for me though.

C.S.Alexis profile image

C.S.Alexis  says:
7 months ago

Sounds like you had a blast. Glad you shared some photos.

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