My Cup Runneth Over
72
Life Overflowing
Have you ever had someone say to you "you really have your hands full," with a look of sympathy? I get this quite often, and I have grown to love it. At first I would look sheepishly in agreement at the stranger speaking to me, but now I respond with "better full than empty" and smile. Life overflowing is my preference. Good and bad are just part of the deal.
Sometimes I am so completely and thoroughly overwhelmed with intense motherly love for my children that I can barely contain and express the overflow towards them.
I just want to grab them and squeeze them. And I do.
This happens for no reason at all. It just comes over me when I am watching one of them sleep, or when my littlest one comes running into the kitchen when she hears the fridge door open, or even a sweet smile from a messy faced girl who is trying to get out of taking a bath.
Sometimes I am so completely and thoroughly disgusted with them and their obnoxious behavior that I struggle to contain my anger and the poison that is welling up, trying to make its escape through my tongue.
I just want to grab them and squeeze them. But I don't.
This happens for a reason. Many reasons. Like when my oldest, who considers herself top dog around here, picks on the middle dog who screams and cries and then turns on the pup who comes innocently to see what the commotion is about. Unless you are the top dog, the view is decidedly bad. Poor pup in the back of the line, always looking up the bum of the dog ahead.
Okay, I know what you are thinking and I agree. I should not be comparing my kids to dogs. Absolutely. It is just that I have this little picture in my head of a dog sledding team.
But the driver is missing. No, actually the driver got weary and foolish and lay down to rest for just a moment and awoke to find her self, no longer the driver, but the sled, tied to the team of laughing dogs and being pulled around on the ice, snow in her face, strands of hair frozen to the tip of her nose. Wrapped around her ankle (cutting off the circulation to her foot) is the strap to her diaper bag, of which the contents (everything she could possibly need in this situation) are flying out at every bump in the ice.
When the dogs have finished their trek across the tundra and are all laughed out, they free her. After all, who else is going to feed them? Unable to hold a grudge against her adorably precious little mischief makers, she gives them some dinner (but no dessert), washes and brushes them and hugs them tight before tucking them in for the night.
That's just my little picture.
The Ride
For me, parenting these days has very little middle ground. Which is very trying on my typically level, reasonable and calm disposition.
I ride daily on the Scream and Laugh roller-coaster. Emotions run high and low, there is fighting and making up. Bruises are acquired and hugs are given. There is never a dull moment, or even a pause, hesitation or chance for a deep breath. The coaster goes up, the excitement builds and it goes down with screaming and clutching and crying, we're loving then angry, yelling then laughing and it doesn't seem to stop at any regular interval.
Sure, there is an emergency brake, but I can't reach it. That job belongs to God and thankfully, every so often He hits the brake for me.
I then stumble off to the nearest trash can, promptly vomit my lunch, clean the sweat from my brow with a baby wipe, pick some gum off the bottom of my shoe, smooth my hair and regain my balance.
My brief God-given rest enables me to smile again and see the craziness for what it is. And like a true thrill seeking adrenaline junkie, I get back in the seat with a grin and ride until the rhythm of the ups, down and all arounds lull my children into a deeply needed sleep.
My Cup Runneth Over. Sure its not all, always, good. But I have more than I ever thought to ask for and it has forced something to adjust within me.
My heart has to get bigger. And it has to continue to expand to provide enough love and compassion to cover all the messy spills from the overflow of life.
I have accepted that roller-coasters make me sick. I am choosing to ride anyway.
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Comments
Doghouse! Thank you! We are dog loving family, so it is an appropriate comparison for us too.
I don't know if I can handle any crazier!
What a sweet hub, mommies like me need to know we are not alone. Sometimes with three kids it's overwhelming, but all in all overwhelming joy.
God meant for us to go through everyone of the things we go through as moms stressful or blissful to make us be the role models that our little people follow. People that look down on families are the most miserable people in the world. We are raising the foundation of the world. Sounds like you are doing a great job building a strong on too. Thanks! God Bless!
Hi Singingmommy,
Thanks so much for your comment. I agree that it is all part of God's plan for us. Motherhood is a massive opportunity for us to stretch and grow and overcome our weaknesses. But it is so hard. The overwhelming joy is one of the many rewards!
Amy Jane! Been-there-done-that; I miss every day of it everyday. But here is a happy thought for you to 'knaw' on, it will only get worse as your little sproutlets get older. Did I make your day? I thought I could post you a helpfull hint....Just keep hugging them.
Super great HUB keep laughing regards Zsuzsy
You got it right! No great thing is ever easy:.) Your Welcome:.)
Hai
You have good collection of beautiful articles
Bye
Rajan
Rajan, thank you for the kind words - I am glad you enjoyed my articles!
Amy Jane!
I feel like I just spent the day with you and now I'm the one who needs a nap! Great descriptions!
Obviously, you're heading for more, so keep enjoying the ups and downs!
Hi C-Lee! Thanks for commenting - my life is exhausting and intense and I guess it shows. I'm trying to enjoy the ups and downs without just passing out :)
Now I know where your time goes!! Hope you get some help from handsome Dave!
Great topic.
Thanks! Yes, they dominate most of my day, but I sneak in computer time here and there. My Dave helps quite a bit when he's home, and the kids are all over him the second he walks through the door!
Amy, you've captured many nuggets of truth here. Life is meant to be enjoyed and your optimism is uplifting. Thank you for sharing your season of life with us.
P.S. Let us all know when you publish your book. Your writing style is beautiful.
Thank you so much Rob, for the kind words of encouragement! It takes a great deal of effort for me to stay positive through this particular phase of motherhood!
I will keep you all posted on the book - it's going to be a while :)
As always Amy Jane...love the hub. Very humbling for this mom!
Thanks so much, Maggie. Motherhood is a humbling experience :)
I love this Hub and don't know how in the world I missed it. You sound so much like me. Life after my son (child #2) has been one big roller coaster ride. But I wouldn't trade one second of it for anything in this world. ;)
Thanks hope. i wouldn't trade the rollercoaster ride either, though I would like to learn to enjoy it a little more! I still find myself sick on occasion :)
Lovely hub-so loving and so true--motherhood is exhausting, exhilerating and most of all maturing:-) Enjoy the ride, AmyJane. It'll be over before you know it. One day the house will be quiet and you'll be wondering why they don't call you more oftenLOL
Thank you Robie! It is quite a ride, and I know it will be over all too soon and I will miss the mayhem. Thank you for reading.:)
Youve got great writing style and ive just became an instant fan. Cant wait to start poking around your hubs and read more!
Thanks so much, Annette! I hope you enjoy some of my other hubs. :) This happens to be one of my favorites. Thanks for reading! :)
HI Amy Jane -
Wonderful piece of writing! I love your style, your transparency, the brilliant, creative pictures you paint w/ your words! Appears to me, you have quite a mind (and heart!). Cheers to you!
Thanks so much Christine! I am glad you enjoyed it. :)
It is just perfect intellectual pleasure to read your passionate hubs about parenting and being a busy mom, Amy! You know always to find a different perspective - a different real story.
Thanks Ervin! My girls give me a wide variety of parenting experiences to draw from. It is always something new. :)
Having been a single dad for awhile after my first wife died, I understand. I also recall how erie and lonely it was at home when the kids went to Grandma's for a couple of days.
Hi John, yes, it is eerily quiet when they are not here and I don't really know what to do with myself! It doesn't happen too often though. :) Thanks for reading!
amy jane: Beautiful article, sweetie!
Thanks so much Nicole! :)
Hi amy jane, I enjoyed reading this hub. :) Indeed life can be overflowing with joys and having our hands full and bumpy rides and balancing acts... and don't we just love it all! LOL
Thanks Michelle! I do love having my hands full. I just have to remind myself occasionally to take a deep breath and relax about all the ups and downs of parenting!
Very well done. It reminds me about something I heard recently on the radio. Someone was telling about why a certain song was written. He had been out on the road playing concerts, and when he came home there were toys all over the front yard. To many this is unacceptable, but to him, it shows that his children are enjoying life.
The power of words is very strong indeed. In my opoinion, if you want to hug your children, you should do so, even if one had done soemthing wrong. Life is too short and opportuntiies will evnetually run out for us all.
Hi Sir Dent, I love to see my children enjoy life - and they do - all over the house it seems! There are many messes that come with raising young children, but as you said, life is too short. We have to try to enjoy them as much a possible! Thanks for reading and commenting! :)
Great hub, Amy Jane! Life is definitely better running over, than running empty. Keep enjoying the ride...
Thank you Dave! I'm trying to enjoy the ride! Somedays it's still extreme - but I like adrenaline. :)
In The Doghouse says:
17 months ago
amy jane
I love your darling writing style. And, by the way, what is wrong with comparing yourself to Dogs? lol Keep having the ride of your life, it just gets more crazy and wilder, but enjoy every minute of it. Just like I always say, "Everyday is a good day at the Doghouse!"