I don't know if it's just me, but after the first two pregnancies, they kind of lose their wonder. So, when we found out that I was pregnant...my first thoughts went to money, sleepless nights, endless doc appointments...ugh. Of course I was excited too, it just didn't hold the wonder it had eight years ago. After losing my job, and being forced to stay at home, because surprisingly, it's really hard to get a job when you are obviously pregnant, I was out for a walk with my honey...enjoying the sunshine and feeding the ducks. A man came along with a net, and told us that there was a lost baby duck, and he didn't have a Mommy. He asked me if I would like to take it home a care for it. OK, who wouldn't want that cute little furry quacker who looks so lost and cuddly. With reluctance, my honey agreed for me to take him. I was so excited. We set up a little pond for him, and went to the store and got duck food. He took to me like I was his Mommy, he slept on my tummy, and ate out of my hand. He loved swimming in the sink. I remembered what it was like to have something so small so dependent on you. Those old maternal instincts kicked in. Don't get me wrong, I have two other kids who are young still, but have been raised to be self sufficient. They make their own lunches for school, and clean the bathroom and kitchen. They know how to put away laundry and wash windows. I guide them in life and education, but they do the work themselves.

It was with great sadness after only a day of having my sweet little furry ducky, that he passed on. There was something wrong with him I suppose, the vet said it was common for them not to make it when they are that small. I was heart broke. I felt like I had lost  something so important. Then I realized that maybe this was a sign, to remind me of how much I love babies, and even with all the doc visits, and pain of labor, and endless money and lack of sleep...there is nothing I love less in life, than to be a Mom.