My spouse hates my "James Bond keychain", as I fondly call it. I have seen her grimace when I plunk it down on the table of a nice restaurant, since it is too big to fit in my pocket when sitting down.

She thinks my assortment of gadgets and tools looks "redneck". I tell here that "007 was no redneck madam".

I have always loved the assortment of gadgets that James Bond uses to scape through by the skin of his teeth in each of the Bond films. I realize that a metal cutting laser watch with optional grappling hook is not likely to be on the market soon, nor is one that launches spinning razor sharp disks or a pen that doubles as an acetylene torch.

I'll just have to manage with what I can buy over the counter for now and wait for technology to catch up with Bond.

The Keychain Grows

I started out with a simple Swiss Army knife on my keychain. Later I upgraded to the deluxe one, with a magnifying glass, tweezers and a little set of pliers. With the pliers I can fix little things and cut wire and with the tweezers I can remove thorns.

If I were stranded up the Amazon river, like "Survirorman", I could cut vines and use them to fashion a raft from driftwood to escape to civilization.

Next I added a small LED flashlight / Laser pointer combination. With the long life LED flashlight I can find my way in the dark and if I have to signal for help from a floating liferaft out on the ocean, the laser pointer could attract attention from ships or aircraft at a distance.

In the meantime the red laser is fun to tease our cat with.

At the camping store I found a tiny magnesium fire starter, like the one Bear Grills carries on "Man Against Wild". Now I can start a fire anywhere, even if my matches are wet.

I do carry matches too, in a tiny, waterproof spy capsule. In it I carry ten feet of six pound test monofilament line and a hook and a fishing lure, for catching dinner

if I am lost in the Amazon of course. On the cap of the waterproof "spy capsule" is a small compass to guide my way, again if I am lost in the Amazon.

Just when I was running out of things to add to my survival keychain I came across a gadget that I had to add.

It is a "spy remote control". It is able to quickly find the codes for any TV and then control it. I can turn off or adjust the volume of any TV I come across.

While this might not be of any use in the Amazon, I have used it in the doctor's waiting room to change "Days Of Our Lives" to a football game that I wanted to see. That part of my survival keychain, I believe, might have saved my life.