When my boyfriend asked me to join him and his family on their annual cabin trip to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving I thought how different could it be from Thanksgiving in San Diego.......WOW was I surprised!!!! Now I'm not some stuck up city girl, or dead beat stoned surfer type; I love the wilderness, camping, hiking, outdoors and I have no problem ruffing it outside at all. But this was a whole new world to me.......

We took off super early in the morning out of San Diego (words will never be able to express enough how much of a morning person I am not) airport for a sardine packed flight to Fort Worth Texas. In actuality the flight wasn't that bad and the Fort Worth airport had enough crop going on inside to keep me busy for days - full bar and shopping what else could you need. Sadly though we had to leave and board what I still believe may be the world's smallest plane to the world's smallest airport in Fort Smith Arkansas. But let me tell you the world's smallest airport which only had two terminals had bathrooms that made the Ritz Carlton look shaby - you could of bathed in the marble sinks; note to self if your ever in the needy situation.

When I walked out of the airport I though oh this can't be that bad there was a fairly small town but it looked interesting even though it was about fifty degrees at noon time; but as hell would have it our adventure wasn't over yet and we boarded our soar stiff blood clotted bodies into two rental cars and were off for what I was told was quick ride to a city I can never remember but in my mind will always be BFE to me. So after our grooling hour and half car ride we arrived in the beautiful town of BFE and I was excited. We pulled up to my boyfriends Grandmas house and I pretty much fell out of the car with my stiff legs and was immediately trampled my two dogs - but who cares I love animals so it wasn't that bad. The house was everything I expected it to be warm, coxy, smelled of biscuits and fresh made jam - and his Grandma the sweetest women in the world. So we mingled for a while took a short stroll through the woods where I was warned of the wild life but brushed it off as them trying to scare me. Then we came back had a real country dinner with fresh Wilbur the pig and all the fixins (eewww). Then it was time to go to bed and I was exhausted. We got to stay in the little adorable cabin in the back that looked fresh off the bed and breakfast page of the yellowpages, I was so ready but when I walked inside I was met with death on six legs. The biggest scorpion I had ever seen was rearing his ugly tail at me like I just killed his best friend. No lie this thing was the size of my hand, now I don't know how to scream but I do know how to cuss and I can only imagine what people heard before my boyfriends brother ran in stepped on it which by the way made the most disgusting noise like someone stepping on a tomato sandwiched between a head of unripe lettuce. We then picked this nasty thing up and dumped i the trash and that was the last of him or so I thought when I woke up in the morning there was the devil's new apprentice clinging to the trash bag like a super hero. I had had enough of this guy and the pyro in me took him outside and torched him (cry about it wait till the ugly punk tries to string you).

So after all my morning excitement I decided to be the nice new edition to the family abd help with breakfast which consisted of going out into the yard and getting eggs from the chickens out back. No biggie; unless you own killer chickens. I would try to take an egg the damn tings would come up and peck at me; enough of the wild life this is now war I took off my sweatshirt, wrapped it around my arm and hand and dove in what a scene while most of the chickens took off running one of them one of them full on started pecking me and she was out for blood. I took what I needed and ran for shelter with everyone laughing at me which is fine with me everyone needs a good laugh right?????

We then saddled up (hehe) into the cars and now headed for the "real" cabin. I mean dirt rocky roads with no power everything is run on gas lights and everything - super cool place made out of rocks and logs. Along the way we saw all kinds of natures finest; rabbits, birds, bear tracks, wild turkeys, and deer - which someone, who will remain nameless for the sake of PETA hunting his ass down, felt the need to stop and shoot at every time we ran across Bambi tracks. But hey it's the country and a country boy/girl must survive I guess right?

So we arrived at the cabin and it was almost dark - and we unloaded really quick. Okay craziest thing I have ever seen in my life is they have swarms of lady bugs and they are breeding everywhere. I don't know about you guys but at my house I get excited when I find one and am pretty much dub struck in ah if I find two - but here there were hundreds if thousands. We had to sweep them out of the house and then at night when it would get cold they would freeze and quit moving. Then when you would start a fire they would heat up and fly around the house like mosquitoes. Amazing. So it was now around nine or ten at night and I was kind of buzzed, and being a social smoker (gross I know) I went outside to hide from my in laws and indulge myself. It was pitch black outside but I was buzzed and brave right? Wrong there was something in the bushes about twenty feet away and it sounded like a stick being rubbed back and forth on a rain gutter (the only thing I can think of to compare it to), My social smoking boyfriend also joined me outside and we continued to investigate. We slowly crept closer and closer to the bushes and then peered over the top and holy hell. This gigantic turkey started screaming and running around and swelling up and I guess turkey's are vicious - but I swear I had no idea until that moment how ugly and loud a turkey could be. And when that thing started freaking out and running around my macho boyfriend just started yelling run and dragging me by the arm. NUTZ is all I have to say about that.

The next morning we woke up early so that my boyfriend could share with me the wonderful joys of hunting. Two things wrong with this idea: I have absolutely no want or need to stalk down an animal and kill it, and I am in no way way a morning person at all. But as a kind loving girlfriend I woke up early and dragged my ass out of the house. It was pretty cool even though I was grouchy; there was mist everywhere almost like a creepy horror movie and all kinds of animals out. We followed a skinny deer trail out to this open meadow and sat by a tree and he told me to wait. So we waited and gay as hell you're not allowed to talk either. So finally after half my life had passed me by, about twenty or thirty deers came out of no where and were running around playing with each other and chasing each other - it was so cool. So as friend my boyfriend is setting himself up to drain the life out of one of them - I jumped up and yelled "RUN" and they all scattered to the ends of the earth disappearing. So as you can imagine he was very very mad at me and much to my happines I have never had to go hunting again.

Other than the turkey I saw a lot of interesting things in Okielahoma. They have one gas station that surprisingly was open late and sold pretty much everything, but oddly enough had a donkey pen in the back iwth the cutest donkey I had ever seen. Guess if your car breaks down you can always ride your ass home. I saw the neatest cemetary that dated well into the 1800's, and almost every headstone had a word misspelled on it - born was bourne, lie was lye - it was cool. The best misspelling though was on the side of car wash building where someone tried to write "white trash" but instead wrote "wite trash" - to bad the camera was dead I would of loved a picture of it but I guess there's alwasy this year.

I also got to here this amazing story about my bf's grandma. Apparently she grew up in a rock house with a wood floor in the mountains and rode a horse to school everyday in twenty feet of snow (haha kidding about the snow part). SO we went to the rock house and it was so cool t was surrounded by a stream with gysers that the water come out of was so pure and hell yeah I drank it it was so crisp and clean. One of the neightbors even ran a small stream of the water to his house and bottled it and sells it at the store. If you're ever there it's called Jelly's Spring Water.

Finally as my adventure was winding down I finally found something more my style. A neighbor came came over with what I will call moonshine but he called something like sith root. WOW!!!! You toook one drink and your mouth was numb for like two hours and you felt like a pile of cloud nine - would definatly recommend it to others. And then sadly it was time to go home until next november, so I saod goodbye to thre turkey's took a picture with the cute little Donkey drove all the way back to the airport boarded the small plane and then the bigger one, ran home drank a beer flopped down in my bed with no lady bugs and slept for about two days.