My Reason for Hunting Jackalopes
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Why I started Hunting Jackalopes
Jackalopes are evil. Nothing is good about them. When I was 7 years old I was out in the woods playing. This was when I spotted my first Jackalope. It beckoned me to come closer and I thought it was friendly. I didn't know any better because I was so young.
As I drew closer to the Jackalope, it smiled at me. I tried to pet it and that's when it happened. Before I knew it the Jackalope jumped at me biting and butting me in the legs. I still have the scars that remind me every day of my life how evil Jackalopes really are.
B.T Evilpants
Can Jackalopes be Reformed?
I know some say that Jackalopes can be reformed. It is a lie. They say that to get people to care for them. They are very deceitful creatures. There is nothing good about a Jackalope, except when it's in a stew pot.
I heard there is a Jackalope here at HubPages name B.T. Evilpants. There has been told many a story about this one. His evilness has been talked about all over the United States and Canada.
When I get this one, I will not use him in a stew pot. He is too old and tough. I will simply mount him and put him on my wall for others to see. He will not get away this time.
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Comments
I would love to indulge him. First I must rid the world of all Jackalopes, especially one named B.T Evilpants. I just couldn't make a movie about it if I can't get the job done.
I understand. I think he will wait and hold the part for you. It should be an interesting hunt - as the Chinese would put it.
Nice first hub. You get that evil one. I give you my blessings.
Haha. Get him Mighty Hunter! Get Him! It was probably B.T. Evilpants who gave you those scars when you were little. He has such evilpants.
Stop the hate! How could you possibly hold one of God's creatures responsible for your naivete concerning wild animals? By the way, you look kinda familiar. Have we met? You remind me of a kid tha I once... Oh. Never mind.
Hey The fued with Jackalopes continues unabated Is this a Jackalope hate site?
BT are you playing with two decks yourself and Mighty Hunter is your alter ego? Or is it that Jackalopes have inbred schizophrenia?
I will watch these developments with more than some interest.
But Just In case I wil become a fan.
Mighty Hunter is NOT my alter ego, but I think he does belong to another hubber. I am looking into this. It is always in one's best interest to know their enemy. I must say, I'm disappointed that you would offer such aid and comfort to my sworn enemy.
BT reminder: keep your friends close. keep your enemies closer.
You better watch your back BT. I am gunning for you now. I have you in my sights. Thanks for the support sixtyorso. Anytime you spot that evil Jackalope, let me know. His days are numbered!!!!
Heh-heh-heh.
Oh my! Who's going to come out of this alive?
What is the Jackalope Team doing in the Beijing Olympics this time? What events? I missed them in 2004.
Patty: I think it's long jump, high jump and oddly enough...fencing. Haven't seen the results yet though.
Mighty Hunter-
It is my duty to inform you that your current Jackalope license is under suspension for non-renewal. Please make sure to stop by our office: M-F 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. to correct this probable oversight on your part.
It is also my responsibility to inform you that some of the Jackalope hunting laws have been revised by the town council since you were last issued a license. Please heed the following:
1. Jackalopes may only be hunted on even days of every month. Why the town council decided this, I'm not sure. It thought it was odd.
2. Due to Mrs Blatbutter nearly wetting her Depends when you ran through her yard shrieking (and I quote) "I'll get you, you horny little rodent!!!" all hunting on Mrs. Blatbutter's acreage is now prohibited.
3. Mr. Donovan down at McWheaties Eaties will no longer be able to supply you with butter tarts for your traps. It seems that Mrs. Donovan has developed a lactose intolerance and can no longer abide having real butter anywhere on the premises. Should you decide to use Promise tarts, Mr. Donovan will of course be only too happy to continue doing busines with you.
If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me at the office. Of course you can always just buy me a cold one down at Squiggy's at our usual meetin' time.
PS - I think it's your turn to bring the Chex Mix for Saturday Night's poker game at Rudy's house.
At last, the voice of sanity rings over the land.
(No, wait a minute. That was just my microwave beeping. Nev-verr miiinnd ...)
(At least the gravy's nice and warm now.)
Anyway, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Gamewarden, sir!
Fortunately, I know exactly where Mrs. Blatbutter lives. Also, no self respecting Jackalope would come within a mile of a Promise tart. Foiled again, SirHunter.
As far as the Olympics go I had an enquiry regarding using the Jackalope as the official Olympic animal. But due to the lack of suitabl Jackalope carcases (not blown to smithereens by that bloody great gun) I declined the offer. they like the idea of the lamps though perhaps we can relace the olympic torch with a Jackalope lamp.
Just left your office Gamewarden. Renewal taken care of. BT, watch your back!!!
Shirley, I guarantee I will survie this battle. Oh yeah, thanks for the support and the butter tarts.
As for the Jackalope olympic team, the decathlon is our milieu. The winter games are more to our taste, though. Speed skating, and curling are our strongest events.
So, we will need an Olympic-style sporting arena at Gravy World +4 and Sanctuary, with lots of concessions. I have a pattern for Mighty Hunter street lights as well.
I hope your pattern holds up Patti. It would be a shame if it was less than perfect, you know.
Interesting hub lol.
Interesting, Sweetie? LOL, Sweetie? So you really thinks it;s funny? This is serious business. Nothing to laugh about. There could be loss of life and blood running deep.
I just hired Gravy World staff that are Klingon. Their services are for hire for moonlighting on whatever side may need them. They like gravy, you know.
BTW, I mis-sread this Hub title and thought it said "My reason for hunting Cantaloupes."
I have an extra pair of glasses Patti. I don;t know about the Klingons. They're hard to work with. I'll think about it.
Everyone knows that cantaloupes are far more elusive, and dangerous than Jackalopes!
Cantaloupes are easily found in your neighborhood supermarket. They loiter around those places and solicit donations to fund their vacations. Shameful creatures they are.
I am working on a trap that will get that evil Jackalope. He will not get away this time.
I have written a most gruesome ending to this story. http://hubpages.com/hub/Killing-Them-With-Words-Re I suggest that you don't make me use it!
Stories are just stories BT. They hurt noone biut do show the evilness of a Jackalope.
Where did all my butter tarts go Hunter?
Hello Mighty Hunter!
I live in Casper, Wyoming, just 45 miles from the Jackalope Capital of the World which is Douglas, Wyoming. The place is crawling with 'em and I don't think there is a season on them anymore.
They need to open the season back up on them. Thye are evil and need to be dealt with by whatever violent means we can think of.
I am from Australia where we do not have these terrifying creatures. Do they hide on ships? Does Sir Richard Branson hunt them or have one for a pet?
Are we safe down here? I want to know!
Patty Inglish, MS says:
17 months ago
Mel Brooks called - He wants to make a movie called Blazing Young Jackalope-stein Hunter.