One week Before

Beat yourself up. You know you not only don't have room for this, but don't even need it. What's the problem here? Well, you bought it. It must have been important at one time or another. Rack your brain all you want. The "stuff" has to go.

One day before

Clean everything and determine a price. Haggle with your mate about this. Ask him/her what THEY would pay for it. This should take six to eight hours depending on how attached to these things are you both are.

Good thing this was the day before. The brain-racking and stress of giving up "stuff" means not as pleasant an evening as usual.

Price Gun Wanted

Next find tags somewhere and put the prices on your "stuff." You don't want those sticky dots. After the "stuff" has been in the sun all day they don't peel off very well. While you at it don't expect to actually sell anything for the price you put on there. No one wants to pay "retail."

It's not kosher to aim too high either. Then nothing will sell.

Try to be reasonable and expect to part with your "stuff" for less than you thought fair.

Get some sunscreen

Eat breakfast and put off putting up the yard sale signs. This is going to be a pain in the rump. But it's got to be done.

Now find some furniture that you don't have any need for and use that to put the "stuff" on. Be sure to have at least one chair; two is better. Oh, and check for spiders around the legs; no one wants spiders jumping at them.

Furniture

Naturally the first things to sell are the furniture, especially the chairs. You see had I brought that stuff out to actually sell it the yard sale furniture would still be sitting there. Since I used it to display the actual sale items it went first.

See? Having two chairs didn't make a bit-o-the difference. The fellow in the picture at right had the brightest idea.

Put a futon out there that no one wants and sit on that. Heck, you can even lay down when things get slow. Be sure the futon has questionable stains on it. You want a place to sit don't you?

Now that the furniture is gone you end up with little odds and ends, you know the small "stuff" that really shows up better on something. Now it's all laying around the yard. You are also faced with the real possibility of not being comfortable. No chair, no place to sit. Hey, but at least you sold something.

What is That?

You'll spend the rest of the day answering the question. Toward the end of the day it starts sound like "wuzzat?".

Are you prepared to haggle?

With any luck you are more interested in clearing the garage or house of this "stuff" and can't clearly remember what you actually paid for it.

If your memory is too good you may haggle too much and lose a sale or worse...lose your temper.

Will you take...?

Smart Yard Sale/Garage Sale shoppers wait until the end of the day. They KNOW you are going to be tired, sick of trying to get rid of "stuff" and are willing to accept any reasonable (maybe unreasonable) offer just to get the "stuff" out of your yard or driveway. They also know you don't want to have to haul it back to whatever dark hole it came out of.

So as the day wears on and the sunscreen stops working your willingness to accept a price, any price, grows.

"Please, take my stuff!"

The Bored Neighbor

Inevitably someone in the neighborhood has to come by and ask why you are selling your "stuff." Often they guess too.For clarity here I'll use "N" for neighbor and "M" for myself.

N: "Are you in trouble?"

M: "No, just getting rid of some "stuff.""

N: "Are you moving?"

M: "No I just got married and don't need two sewing machines, two food processors and four TVs." I can be a bit of a smartarse.

N: "Ah! Did you hear about Mr. Smith down the street?"

M: "No, I didn't." (someone's banging your "stuff" around) Can you hang on?"
to the pan banger "Yes, can I help you sir? Ah, just looking. OK."

M: "What about Mr. Smith?"

An hour long story ensues and by the end I have no idea what the beginning of the story was.

Mr. Cheapo

From time to time I get ridiculous offers. I don't mind haggling; I like to do it myself, but under a dollar for something I paid thirty for? Please! There's a glint in his eye; the glint is "THE DEAL."

Today wasn't so bad. One silly offer and quite a few reasonable ones.

Cash is lining my pocket. Too bad it's mostly ones.

Indifference

It's bound to happen. There's still "stuff" in my yard that I'd rather not haul back in. I start eyeballing each passing car, craning my neck, willing the diver and or passengers to stop and take a look at my "stuff."

It really doesn't work though.

Some of my "stuff" won't sell no matter how nice, clean, and cheap it is. This is why I keep putting "stuff" in quotes when the most descriptive word really shouldn't be displayed here.

For that reason you need to be prepared to take the "stuff" back inside. In my case I'm pretty happy because the heavy furniture "stuff" sold (even though it wasn't actually for sale) and I didn't want to haul that back inside.

But I have some other nice "stuff" left over that is highly function, clean (I know, I cleaned it) and still works.

Anybody want to take it off my hands...cheap?

If forgot to put on the sunscreen.