Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit. This year thousands of mothers will give birth to a premature baby. Did you ever wonder how mothers of preemies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instrument for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a great ledger. "Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew" "Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint, Cecilia" "Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard, he's used to profanity" Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a premature baby". The angel is curious, "Why this one, God? She is so happy." "Exactly," smiles God, "could I give a premature baby to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in the sea of self pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it." "I watched her today, she has that sense of self and independence that are so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy." "But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect, she has just enough selfishness." The angels gasps, "Selfishness; is that a virtue?" God nods, "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child who comes in a less than perfect way. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied." "She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says, "Mommy" for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. When she describes a tree or sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations." "I will permit her to see clearly the things I see; ignorance, cruelty, prejudice, and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side." "And about her patron saint," asks the angel, pen poised in mid air. God smiles, "a mirror will suffice."

Author

Unkown

I have been blessed to meet two miricles. I have two children and they are ages 5 and 3. When they were born I never thought I would be able to say that. You see, both of my children were born premature. At a time when many mother's would be all a glow and showing of their new baby, I was filled with fear and spending evry waking moment in the hospital. The pain I felt was so powerful. I can honestly say that until then I never knew true heart ache. And now my life is nothing but joy.

In August of 2003, the girl of my dreams came into my life. She was actually due on my birthday in November. It's funny the whole time i was pregnant, I felt no real connection. I mean I was only 19 and although I was married, I did not want children. I was actually told that I would have trouble conceiving. I knew I would love and care for her but I just was not that glowing ball of motherhood I've always heard of. My entire pregnancy was miserable. I had hyper emesis. I was constantly throwing up. And then one day I was driving down the road and everything went blurry. I quickly called my mom to come get me and she took me to the emergency room. They decided to admit me for one night to measure the amount of protein spilling into my urine. The next morning I though I was going home. That was when I learned that I had pre-eclampsia and I would not leave the hospital till I delivered. The doctors did everything they could to keep thigns under control. Naturally they wanted to keep me pregnant for as long as possible. After all their hard work three days later my princess was born. At 26 weeks this little girl came into my life. You know that connection I didnt feel? I felt it the minute she was born. She was born via c-section and the only glimpse of her I had was from across the room. Can you image?I had this child who could potentially die at any moment and I couldn't even see her face! When she was born I was so confused. I was angry. And to this day my faith is constantly challenged due to her birth. How is it possible that I did everything by the book and my child was born premature? And yet some crack head or teen is has a healthy full term baby! What did I do so terrible that God wanted me to feel such pain. When I was discharged from the hospital, I felt so hallow. I had to leave my child in the hospital. I saw these other mothers walking around with their newborn so lovingly in their arms. I could not even touch my child. I could only look at her through a plastic box (incubator). I had to piece together what I thought her face looked like by the what I could see through all the tubes and tape. My daughter is a fighter and she began to flourish. I so proud of her! Then one day I receive a call that they are rushing her into surgery. At two months and 2lbs my daughter had to have heart surgery. She had a PDA ligation. After three long months the princess came home. She had my heart in her hand. Even now her every wish is my command. Everyday with her is a gift I value. I cry at every birthday when I remember how close I was to losing her. To think that all the fun times we share could have not happened.

Eight months after my daughter was born I started to not feel so well. I visited my doctor to discuss my symptoms. What do you know, I'm pregnant! I questioned if my heart had the capacity to love another. My daughter had my heart in her hands. I knew the day I found out that it was a boy.My pregnancy with my son was similar to my daughter I was constantly throwing up. Bt this time aroun, the doctors had me coming to the office every two weeks so that they could catch any problems as quickly as possible. My entire pregnancy I prayed that I would be sitting in the NICU for a second time. I was so scared. My baby boy grew and grew. The doctors told me that he was doing great, we might even go full term. One night I was awaken by a strange sensation in my stomach. I was living with my mom at the time and I went and woke her up. I explained to her that I thought I was in labor. She proceed to explain that it may be Braxton hicks considering I was only 25 weeks along. Needless to say I was leaving nothing to chance. My sister and I hoped into the car and I went to the emergency room that night. I was having some preterm contractions. The doctors game me a few shots of terbutaline and sent me home. Well this became a nightly visit for the next few weeks. The doctors stressed to me that I must come hospital if I felt contractions. Unfortunately due to my first pregnancy, I could never have a child naturally. I had a classical cesarean section and due to being cut vertically on my uterus, I would be at risk of hemmoraging. Well my son was due the end of January but he decided the December was a better time to be born. Who would have thought the man of my dreams would have been 4lbs., short and hairy! Wow he just melted my heart from the moment I laid eyes on him. Sadly, he did not come home with me either. Although he was much better off than his sister I still had that bit of heart ache. Christmas was just around the corner and I wanted both my children with me. The doctors said he would not be home till end of January or early February. I visited my son everyday. It was difficult because I still had his sister. On Christmas eve, I knew I would not be able to see my sweet baby boy till the afternoon. Naturally like any loving mother I called to see how his morning was going.That's when I heard the best news of all. My sweet baby boy could come home. My Christmas present was the best present any mother could ask for...my son came home on Christmas eve. That night me and the kids sat int he living room looking at the Christmas lights and watching Christmas programs.

Everytime I think of my children's birth, I am brought to tears. I could not imagine my life without them. I wanted to share this story for anyone out there that is going through what I went through. having a premature child is hard, its painful and scary. I ws thankful that my NICU had a NICU support group. Also they had tons of social works, lactation consultants andn nurses there to help. Without them and my family, I couldn't have been so strong.