1)My grandpa and my granny stopped at a traffic light only to see the people in the car next to them waving to them hysterically.My grandpa quickly checked at the doors to see they were securely shut and if anything was amiss.We only had the car for a few months .Just then,the people in the adjoining car held up a note .It read :That's our old car, treat her well please ."

2)Late one night ,a robber wearing a mask jumped into the path of my grandpa and stuck a pistol in his ribs and said"give me your money"my grandpa fearlessly answered "you can't do this to me iI am a politician !"we take people's money we don't give them !

)A child was driving with her grandpa past a cemetery in a country town .On asking what was the place called ,the grandpa said "Its the dead centre of the town --people are dying to get there!"

Elevator fun

Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
Greet everyone with a warm handshake or a grin
Stare, At another passenger.
Keep grinning at another passenger for a while,or stand in a corner with a grim face
if some one's mobile rings , look around and ask: “Is that your mobile ?”
make your personal calls and if you lack connectivity keep cursing the connection providers
When there’s only one person in the elevator,give him a friendly grin .
Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.then keep saying sorry.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
then reach your floor, give a grin and walk out.
It's so easy to keep oneself occupied when you have to wait in the lift to reach your office in sky scrapers

Life before intelligent box was invented.

memory was something people lost with age .
An application had its official use for jobs and for schools
A program was seen on the TV

A Key board was a piano or a typewriter
A web was spider's home
A virus was an epidemic
An anti virus was an injection given to prevent the the epidemic
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A driver was was the chuffer
A mouse was a tiny animal creature
A CD was the cummulative deposit at the bank
surffing was done on water
Note pad was the write pad where we wrote our daily appointments
'space' was our unlimmited sky
.

There was a very lazy woman who hated cooking so she skipping some meals with her stupid tricks .
One day the family sat to have their breakfast porridge at the table ,seeing their bowls empty they screamed where is the porridge ? the lady from the kitchen shouted back 'how many times would you feed your tummy ?"wait, I am coming to clear the table and set it for lunch .No more eating till lunch now ".Poor guys had to stay hungry and wait for lunch