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On-Line Dating.....Baby Steps

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By elisabethkcmo

What's Up With This On-Line Dating, Anyway??


Back in the Dating World , It Ain't That Great... But It Has It's Moments


A Girl's Survival Guide: Dating In A Brave New World

Starting All Over Again After 40.

It's different from when we were in our 20's, ladies.

Sort of.

 Dating in your 40's (or any age) can be a real challenge. Sometimes it's just hard meeting single people  around your age that you find interesting.

Most of the guys I've met are from online dating sites. And as I travel along on this sometimes perilous journey, I've learned many valuable lessons

What is it like for a woman in her 40's who hasn't dated since her 20's?

I'll try to share what I have learned so far.

On-line dating ( I used match.com )

Getting Started: Creating Your Profile

Really take some time to create your profile. Keep it light-hearted and clever. For your "Dating Headline" try something like a quote or short joke. Stay away from any phrase that sounds like an advertisement ("Single Mom Looking For True Love")....yeah, you and everybody else.

Write about the things you like and how great you are, but with humor. Forget your "rules" and what you don't want. I've had good responses when I include a short paragraph::"my perfect match is...". Men like it when they know what is expected of them.

Do not mention past relationships in your profile. Avoid any complaining or negative comments about your past dating experiences.

Of course, you don't want to sound needy. Let them know that you can take care of yourself, but you are happy to accept help from time to time. Mention that you have kids, but don't go into details. If he's a good guy, he'll ask more about them later.

Men are very visual, they like to see lots of pictures of you. Be honest about your size, because he's going to find out eventually if it gets that far. I've had several guys ask me if I look like my picture and if the pic is up to date.

One guy told me about a woman he met on-line who stated "average" about her body type in her profile. They had several conversations on the phone, and he thought she was nice and interesting. But when they met, he realized that she was actually very heavy.(well those weren't his exact words) He said that the whole thing was very awkward for the both of them, and they never went out again.

I never dated that guy......maybe he was a jerk anyway, oh well.

I know you've heard this before, but really, you've got to just be yourself!

Try something different. Make a list of your top 10 best qualities, like the Top 10 on David Letterman.

Ask your friends for some input. I read a profile one time in which this guy's best friend wrote his "about me", only he wrote "about Jim." It actually was really sweet.

So don't be afraid to brag a little, Hey, they gotta know what a great catch you are!

If you don't believe that, nobody else will either.

Well, that's all for now, but I'm going to write another hub about the next step:

your "search", contacting each other for the first time, and the dreaded "first date."

So check back soon!!



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knell63 profile image

knell63  says:
5 months ago

Ahh the memories, I went through it ten years ago when I was in my mid 30's. My advice would be, expect everyone to have kids, a history and a reason to mistrust the opposite sex. Use it as a time to re-invent yourself and acquire a few new hang ups and interests. Don't wear a suit to a disco, its not required anymore and you will now look daft.

elisabethkcmo profile image

elisabethkcmo  says:
5 months ago

As I'm reading your comment, I'm thinking, that is so true!! thanks so much for your input

ralwus profile image

ralwus  says:
4 months ago

Well good luck with your endeavor dear. I am 59 now and have a most wonderful wife. Kids are all adults now and plenty of grandkids to go 'round. Love is grand.

elisabethkcmo  says:
4 months ago

thanks ralwus, sometimes I feel like luck has alot to do with it... but I also enjoy my solitude, so I agree,

life IS grand..

Jaspal profile image

Jaspal  says:
3 months ago

Nice one Elisabeth! Never tried any of the dating sites, but I am on Orkut and Facebook ... The idea was that they would allow one to interact, exchange views and comments and slowly get to know the friends one make in various interest groups or communities. And, if some interest is sparked, then one could always date too.

But the problem I encountered there was that the ones who really appeal (by their intelligence, wit, empathy and looks) are invariably married or too far removed in age!

You're right I guess: Solitude is not bad; and, despite moments of loneliness, life remains great! :)

elisabethkcmo profile image

elisabethkcmo  says:
3 months ago

Jaspal, I'm sure that your perfect match is out there, good luck to you.. sometimes it feels like you need luck..

cheers

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