Mysterious Magnetic Force Discovered in Breasts of Women

As everyone knows, a magnet is a word which comes from the Greek μαγνήτις λίθος, and is an object that produces a 'magnetic field.' What is astounding scientists at the National Research Council in Ottawa, is that in fact, there is a powerful and previously undetected magnetic force operating in women's breasts.

Apparently the discovery was made by shear chance, and not as the result of any particular research experiment, when Dr. Albert Ampère was running a metal detector over his wife's body in order to find the wedding ring she had inadvertently swallowed when it fell into her chocolate mousse desert.

"I was astounded" said Dr.Ampère "when I saw the metal detector indicator flying off the scale when I had it over Angela's big breasts."

"Upon further study, after bringing my wife into the National Research Council labroratories by myself and my collegues, we found that Angela's boobs were highly magnetic and not only that, but that all of the women in the lab, and all of the secretaries in the offices, and even the woman security guard in the parking lot---they all had huge magnetic forces at work in their breasts!"

Ampère further said that the exact nature of the breast-fields are not known, because they may be more than simple magnetism. Acccording to Dr. Ampère "these forces may have implications in the medical areas of sexual attraction, and perhaps answer the question 'why are men so automatically riveted to women's breasts?'

It turns out the answer may be simple--a force of nature that operates on men in such a way that they are compelled towards the breasts, and has nothing to do with their intentions or motivations. In other words men are helpless to resist a pair of large knockers, and they should perhaps stop feeling guilty for what amounts to nothing more than 'a simple force of nature.'

Research contines in Ottawa as Dr. Ampere is currently walking around the streets with his metal detector and holding it over random women with big breasts to see if he gets a rise out of his instrument.