In a sixth grade class of bright, attentive children of diverse personality and race, I mentally deliberated the credibility of a pale blonde girl with a name tag reading: "Maria Sanchez-Garcia".

"It could happen," I thought to myself, " The Northern Castillian Spanish are very fair . . . besides there are adoptions . . . combined families . . . test tube babies. . . genetic engineering . . . multi-national conspiracies . . . space aliens . . . and other reasonable doubts to disprove stereotypes."

I was trying to keep an open mind without letting my whole brain fall out, but it was obviously on the brink. My eyes fell on another nametag in front of an Hispanic girl with beautiful dark eyes. "Su-Lin Tang," it read," Hmmmm."

The Jennifer Johansen tag was in front of a small Asian girl. My doubt was growing. By now they could see my eyes darting between name tags and faces. They were perhaps surmising that my obviously acute deductive processes were unraveling their diabolically deceptive identity-switching scheme.

I played it cool, pretending not to notice their grins. "Have you girls decided to change your names permanently, or just for today?" I finally asked. "It's entirely up to you. . . " I continued, not waiting for an answer. "It's certainly none of MY business. Names are very personal. You have a right to choose one that feels comfortable. I only hope it doesn't confuse your families."

As I turned my back (and I NEVER do this unless I know it is a responsible group) they quickly replaced their tags but retained their grins. We went ahead with the lesson without further comment, enjoying the joke wordlessly.

I knew their little scam was innocent, and they appreciated my light treatment of it. I tell other subs to not let playfulness-- especially when it's clever--throw you into a tizzy. Enjoy.

This was an elfish example of name changing, but we know that changing names and switching seats happens frequently among grade school children with substitute teachers.

The first sub in history-- we don't know her name, probably because she changed it-- certainly had this little deception played on her. It has been common for classes with absentee teachers ever since.

When students are not in their proper seats I tell them that it is unwise to confuse me. When confused, I can be unpredictable. I may wrongly attribute a grade, or an opinion about behavior. " My seating chart tells me who is supposed to be sitting in each seat. Do you want your teacher to think that YOU are acting like the person who is now in your place? Are you willing to take the chance that I will mistake you for him? Do you want someone else's grade?"

Generally the more responsible ones will insist on having their own places back. Even the less responsible would usually be in charge of their own destiny.

Sometime I will find a student who has switched seats, but is still working well and cooperating. In this case, I let them know that I KNOW, but i do not necessarily insist that they return UNTIL the first time I see them interfering with teaching or learning. In cases like this I have given fair warning and judgement must be swift This usually works quite well. When I find that the new arrangement is not working, I make a quick decision. No begging or second chances are allowed They know I gave the them the benefit of my trust, and they accepted my judgement as fair. I was honest with them and they broke the contract.

One "problem" that can arise is when others discover I have let some switch seats. They try to claim the same "right". But the classroom is not a democracy with a bill of rights, it is a benevolent autocracy and I am the "B.A."( ie: Bachelor of Arts or Benevolent Autocrat.)

If I generously and benevolently grant special permission (extending trust) I also can revoke the permission the moment trust is broken I am quick to praise those who have the self discipline and maturity to manage privileges. I will commend seat-switchers who are working well.

I need to be philosophically clear in my decisions, respecting principle above persons. No student, no matter how appealing and charismatic will be allowed to plea-bargain a judgement.

Do not misunderstand, students have rights but we should be helping them grow into mental maturity where they will eventually be fully entitled to freedom and choices based on responsible regard for everyone's rights. Until they reach that point my only burden is to be a proper authority.

"Only" is a pretty big word.