If you're like me, you let everyday life get so hectic and you feel guilty that you don't and haven't spent enough time with God. I'm a Christian and sometimes I think a poor excuse for one. I mumble and groan about how hard my life is and yet I don't take the time to sit down for even a half hour to be alone with My Savior. I know it must hurt Him that I can't or don't want to bother getting up early to pray or meditate. I go astray...fall away.... distance myself from Him, not intentionally, but one day blends into another and the next thing I know, I realize I haven't really prayed or talked to Him in a while. I feel guilty so that tends to keep me away even longer.

A while back I started a journal, a big, fat notebook I called Dear God. I started out enthusiastically and filled several pages day after day, then it was once a week, ok, once every couple weeks. Now, sadly, I'm ashamed to say I've gone a couple months without making an entry.

In my letters to God I start out simply, Dear Lord or Dear God....... then I pour out my heart to Him. At first I start writing out of guilt......obligation.....then the more I write, stuff starts coming out of my mind and heart that I didn't plan on writing but I promised God when I started the journal I would be completely honest even if I were mad at myself, someone else or HIM. I would be completely honest because He already knows my heart anyway. Who do I think I'm kidding? I learn things about myself. How much I really do love God and Jesus and what He did for me and you and everyone He created. I go from complaining about my life to worshipping Him right there on the page!

I can't explain how that makes me feel when I reach that point of surrender and peace.....I see myself for the sinner I really am and realize again and again after every entry how much I need Him and appreciate Him for his blessings and for listening.

Let me tell you something. I've felt His presence a few times when I needed Him. One time was when my mother died. He gave me strength and peace and when I cried He cried. I recently had to undergo a painful neurological test called an EMG. There are two parts to it. One part is the nerve conduction test in which they deliver shockwaves through your nerves and the other was the muscle test where they insert needles into your muscles, move the needle around a bit or ask you to move that muscle which makes it excruciating. I held up with tensing myself up and clenching my jaw. I hardly made a whimper unless it was very painful but held up. I could feel God's presense holding me up and giving me strength. But let me tell you as soon as I went out to car, sat down, shut the door, I cried like a baby, I wept for about five minutes because the built up tension was too much. I kept saying, God that hurt, God that hurt so much. As I was crying, I could sense that He too was crying with me. I knew He was watching His child hurting and He hurt too. God is everywhere helping everyone at once but on a personal level that makes you feel like He stopped the world to comfort you. How wonderful He is!