When I left the safety of the corporate womb to strike out on my own as a freelance writer, one of the first questions I had to answer was: Where will I find new clients?

The answer, according to every person I’ve ever met, is in networking. SEO hype aside, there’s no better way to build a business than through good word of mouth.

Super, except I’d recently relocated. So what’s an unconnected girl to do? Join a fee-based networking group, of course.

Fast forward to today. Fee-based networking is an important part of how I generate business, but I’d be living in a dumpster if I had bought into some of the sales pitches I heard along the way. Assuming your fellow networkers are decent human beings, it's true that they'd like to send some referrals your way. In reality, their contact list probably isn’t overflowing with people looking for your services. Never mind the fact that they hired a designer, writer, accountant, or whatever you are, long before you came onto the scene. Bottom line: you're not going to hit the referral jackpot just by joining a group.

If you’re considering joining a networking group, do your homework. Read on for some tidbits from my, “I wish someone had told me …” file:

Closed vs. open. A closed network has room for only one person per field. For example, one graphic designer, one accountant, etc. Open networks allow anyone to join. Each has its pros and cons, but don’t be fooled by thinking that if you’re the only mortgage broker in the network you’re going to get all the mortgage referrals. Even in a group that requires its members to make referrals only to other group members, someone might be “cheating” on the group by sending referrals elsewhere.

Watch out for “quality” bait. Unless a network clearly allows anyone to join, you’re probably going to hear a lot of talk about how they allow only “quality” into the network. Call me a cynic, but anyone willing to pay the fee to join such a network usually fits the bill for a “quality” candidate.

If a steep membership fee is attached to the “quality” guarantee, ask questions. Is there a screening process to determine who gets to join the network? Are there mechanisms within the network for providing feedback about a member? If you’re being asked to pay top dollar for what amounts to a smokescreen, do your wallet a favor and opt for a lower-cost network.

Find out the rules and expectations. Networking groups run the gamut from having total control over how much you participate to having to attend a rigid schedule of meetings as well as contributing behind the scenes. Break the rules and risk losing your membership, along with every penny you paid for it. Find out exactly what you have to do, and how often, to remain in good standing.

Networking and referrals are not synonymous. So you handed out your business card to 20 other people at your first networking meeting. Great, but don’t expect a bunch of emails from people wanting to meet up with you. They may already have a partnership with someone who offers what you do, or maybe they don’t need what you’re selling. Or maybe they’re keen on a one-on-one meeting, but only so they can sell you something.

Use your time wisely. The more people you know, the greater your chances of drumming up business. I agree with this 100%, but let’s take a closer look at where business comes from.

I considered joining a group that pushed the idea that everyone at a meeting should have a coffee date with each other. In my wide-eyed innocence, I started asking anyone and everyone out for coffee, and I said yes to everyone who invited me.

Several lattes later, reality kicked in. Taking two hours out of my day to meet with someone who doesn’t need what I offer—and likely won’t anytime soon—isn’t the most cost effective way to spend my time. Not to mention the awkwardness of having to find a way to tell someone who’s selling monogrammed shoe soles that I’m okay with generic soles.

My latte buddy might know someone who knows someone who could use my services, or maybe a few months down the road they might need me, and that’s where the power of networking can kick in. But when I drive away from Starbucks all I know for sure is that I’ve blown money on a coffee I didn’t really want, and I’ve used up 2 hours that could’ve been spent more productively. Unless you’ve got time to burn, be choosy about your coffee dates.