Never Correct Your Asian Girlfriend's English Accent
77-- For Men Who Love Asian Women
A Chinese girl friend of mine once told me that she had a serious fight with her American (who is a Caucasian) boyfriend because "...he always corrects my English. He somehow even made fun of my accent. Although he always emphasized later to me that he was just joking, I still feel uncomfortable once a while. Picking on my accent makes me feel like he is showing his superiority as a man and an English speaker....I am a very talented and capable person and I think my English is fluent. He actually can understand me perfectly. I just don't see why my accent is so bothering him that made him desperately want to pick on every single one of my God Damn English!...."
This girl ended up breaking up with her boyfriend. The guy was so shock and for a very long time he couldn't believe that correcting his girl friend's English grammar and accent can be such a big deal. He thinks that he was just doing her own good and it is the most ridiculous broke up that he ever had.
I happened to have a similar experience with my first boyfriend, who is a native speaker in English. He corrected my English and made fun of my accent often. That time was my fourth year living in the U.S. and my first year in college. My self-esteem went low when every time he made fun of my English. Of course, he always argued that he was only joking, nothing in purpose and he thought he was actually helping me improve my English. I then had a very strong desire to learn to speak perfect English, not only make myself feel better but I can also make my boyfriend shut up and be really proud of me.
My first relationship with an American boyfriend didn't work out well; however, I got really motivated about training myself speaking perfect English. I deeply believe that speak fluent English will not only make me being competitive in my future job field but also make me being more attractive to any men in the U.S. Just like I found that native Chinese men who speak fluent Mandarin (as native people from Beijing) are really attractive to me, too.
One time I actually refused going out with an American guy who corrected my accent while he tried to ask me out, of course I never told him the actual reason why he was rejected. Yes, I came to the U.S. when I was very young (15) and I now speak fluent English. However, I still can't help speaking with slidely Chinese accent. The type of accent that sounds a little stiff due to Chinese language doesn't have that much retroflex tones compare with English. I ended up go to graduate school studying Chinese Linguistic 10 years ago in San Francisco State University. Just like women having plastic surgeries to upgrade her outlook or body parts, I thought I can do the similar job to my English. In the beginning I tent to find a way to get rid of my accent but I found that it's hardly achieved for most people in my age. I learned the fact that accent is a manner. My native language doesn't contain certain sound that English uses so I have no capability to pronounce certain words correctly. No matter how smart I am, accents are not fixed even in adulthood.
Although two years of graduate school in Chinese Linguistic doesn't make me get rid of all my Chinese accent when speaking English, I surprisingly found that I got rid of all my Taiwanese accent when speaking Chinese Mandarin. I guess I must be a really good student who pick up all the rules of Chinese Linguistic and successfully applied to my native language. I now speak perfect and beautiful Mandarin that impresses most native Chinese. Even many "Beijingers" think I am from Beijing. I take that as the best compliment to my language talent.
My husband is a native Chinese from Beijing and ironically he is not crazy about my perfect Mandarin. He told me that he prefers woman who speaks Chinese with a little Taiwanese accent and Taiwanese grammar because "they sound really cute". I have to admit that I totally agree with my husband because I have found that many girls from mainland China have a tendency copying the way that Taiwanese girls talking. The grammar is purely mainland Mandarin but the tone of voice is tender and innocent, totally unlike Beijing Mandarin which sounds sharp, smart and tough. My husband has heard too much Beijing Mandarin and in compare with women from different provences he thinks "Taiwanese Chinese" is attractive to him.
I guest some men prefer women speak with some type of accent. Accent in fact makes one being special and unique. I personally think native Japanese women are extremely attractive when they speak any different foreign languages (So far I've experienced hearing native Japanese women speak English, Chinese Mandarin, Cantonese, German and French and they all coming with remarkable accent.). The accent might be heavy but the tone of voice is always very cute and somehow sexy which makes me really admire.
O.K., back to the title "never correct your Asian girlfriend's English Accent". All I am trying to say is that if you really love your native Asian girlfriend, better accept the fact that she has to have accent when speaking English. Please find a way to appreciate and enjoy such a one-of-a-kind tone of voice. According to my personal experience, one's accent is just like gay man who would never be straight. Please don't try to correct your girlfriend's accent because this will only make you look like a male shovenistic asshole. And there is no kidding that a woman will break up with you (or refuse dating with you) because of that. If you really can not stand her accent please let her English teacher do the dirty job. Or, simply find women from different races that speak perfect English.
And the best way of improving your native Asian girlfriend's English is to keep on speaking perfect English to her, without stupid content. She might have accent but this doesn't mean that she is stupid or uneducated. She will definitely pick up your manner and find you really attractive if you speak to her smartly and wisely.
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
I don't think anyone who can speak two languages can be made fun of ever, especially by a one language speaking person. Its a big world, and people better get used to accents.
I agree that. Thanks for reading my article.
Hi! Cris A. Thanks for your comment. I like your video.
I really enjoyed reading your article, it's good to know I wasn't the only one out there who is sensetive to people's remarks about my Accent. I was orginally from Beijing, and worked really hard trying to get rid of my accent for the past a few years after I moved to Canada. My husband, being a native English speaker, never really pick on my accent much, he actually said I speak perfect English now, and people here could easily have taken me as a Canadian born by hearing me speak..(Canada is immigration country, many people that are born here still speak with a slight accent ). But I am still insecure sometimes, I take people's comments about my accent very personally, I don't think I would ever be able to get rid of my accent completely, I guess I am stucked with it for the rest of my life...Somedays I accept my accent more openly compare to other days...but it's never been easy for me...Thanks for talking about it openly...It definitely helps me to find my balance between my cultural background and a perfect English accent.
I didn't check when did u post this article, but I read it very seriously today. I have a native Eniglish speaking boyfriend. He never correct my Eniglish until someday I asked him to do so.
It's my second year in US. My English is much better than before, but still far away from perfect. I guess you are right, ppl try to improve their accent to show their talents somehow. unluckily, I'm one of them. My boyfriend said I'm the best English speaker he saw from China. However, I know how hard it is for me. I still can't express myself as much as I wanna. Relationship is also limited with language, since you never can communicate perfectly.
Don't worry about it! My wife is asian, my kids were born in Japan. I love their accent. I joke about some of the terminology they use, because I find it interesting to see what words they choose to use. Sometimes I say nothing because I don't want to change how they talk. Example: Fall off the car instead of fall out of the car. I picture someone riding on top of the car not inside of it. We have fun with it. It keeps me listening! I am so proud of them for speaking 3 languages, I could care less of the accent!
May Amero-
I agree with you about your inscure thought about your accent. I was fighting on my accent for many years and I thought studying linguistic would end but actually not. I guess I am not the only person who took my accent so seriously.
I just found that if one's English is fluent then one gets more opportunities than others in many job fields in this country. Of course, being a bi-lingual or tri-lingual speaker is also preferable. I myself have proof of having such an advantage and I am now strongly encouraging my kids to learn second or third language.
Wennie-
In the field of love and relationship, speaking English with accent does challenge your partner's patient. I appreciate the partner who has extremely patient to someone who doesn't speak his/her language. I guess "love" plays the major role of making someone want to conquer such a barrier.
There is no doubt that your English will be improved daily. Therefore, I wish your relationship will turn in stronger and solid, due to two of you will gradually communicate better then ever for sure.
Greg-
You are great to be careless of your family members' accent. To tell you the truth, we Chinese sometimes can not even stand other Chinese who speak Mandarin with non-Mandarin dialect accent. I knew someone in the U.S. who is from British origins and she can not stand her grandfather who has to correct every single line of what American news reporter said when watching TV. I guess one who speaking with accent is truly a big deal to someone else. Amazing but true.
Hi Yxhuang:
Thanks for your reply. I think we have a lot in common... I totally agree with you about having an advantgage over others when applying for a job by knowing more than 2 languages (I speak fluent Japanese as well). To put things into perspecitive, Chinese(Mandarin and Cantonese) is the 3rd most widely spoken language in Canada ranked right after French(one of Canadia's official language), so it's definitely a HUGE ASSET by knowing the language.
I guess my problem here is that I live in a small town, and there aren't many Chinese people my age live here,so I don't get to socialize with Chinese people much..Besides that, my job doesn't require me to speak Chinese either, so I use only English in my day to day life...I think that's why I am so obsessed about speaking the perfect accent.
Your article really helped me a lot. I really appreciate you sharing it with rest of the fellow readers, I hope one day I will be pleased with my accent once and for all, but for now, I am still searching for answers...have a great day!
Enter the English grammar Nazi:
Here is your story in perfect English.
A Chinese girlfriend of mine once told me that she had a serious fight with her American (who is a Caucasian) boyfriend because "...he always corrects my English. He somehow even made fun of my accent. Although he always emphasized later to me that he was just joking, I still feel uncomfortable once a while. Picking on my accent makes me feel like he is showing his superiority as a man and as an English speaker....I am a very talented and capable person and I think my English is fluent. He can actually understand me perfectly. I just don't see why my accent is bothering him so much that it made him desperately want to pick on every single one of my God Damn English!...."
This girl ended up breaking up with her boyfriend. The guy was so shocked and for a very long time he couldn't believe that correcting his girlfriend's English grammar and accent can be such a big deal. He thinks that he was just doing it for her own good and that it is the most ridiculous break up that he ever had.
I happened to have a similar experience with my first boyfriend, who is a native speaker in English. He corrected my English and made fun of my accent often. That time was my fourth year living in the U.S. and my first year in college. My self-esteem would lower every time that he made fun of my English. Of course, he always argued that he was only joking, nothing on purpose, and he thought he was actually helping me improve my English. I then had a very strong desire to learn to speak perfect English, not only make myself feel better, but also to make my boyfriend shut up and be really proud of me.
My first relationship with an American boyfriend didn't work out well; however, I got really motivated about training myself speaking perfect English. I deeply believe that speaking fluent English will not only make me be competitive in my future job field, but also make me be more attractive to any men in the U.S. just like I found that native Chinese men who speak fluent Mandarin (as native people from Beijing) are really attractive to me, too.
One time I actually refused going out with an American guy who corrected my accent while he was trying to ask me out. Of course, I never told him the actual reason why he was rejected. I came to the U.S. when I was very young (15) and I now speak fluent English. However, I still can't help speaking with slightly Chinese accent. The type of accent that sounds a little stiff due to Chinese language not habing that much retroflex tones as compared to English. I ended up going to graduate school studying Chinese Linguistics 10 years ago in San Francisco State University. Just like women having plastic surgeries to upgrade their outlook or body parts, I thought I can do a similar job to my English. In the beginning I tended to find a way to get rid of my accent but I found that it's hardly achieved for most people of my age. I learned the fact that accent is a manner. My native language doesn't contain certain sounds that English uses so I have no capability to pronounce certain words correctly. No matter how smart I am, accents are not fixed even in adulthood.
Although two years of graduate school in Chinese Linguistics doesn't make me get rid of all my Chinese accent when speaking English, I surprisingly found that I got rid of all my Taiwanese accent when speaking Chinese Mandarin. I guess I must be a really good student who picks up all the rules of Chinese Linguistics and successfully applied to my native language. I now speak perfect and beautiful Mandarin that impresses most native Chinese. Even many "Beijingers" think I am from Beijing. I take that as the best compliment to my language talent.
My husband is a native Chinese from Beijing and ironically he is not crazy about my perfect Mandarin. He told me that he prefers woman who speaks Chinese with a little Taiwanese accent and Taiwanese grammar because "they sound really cute". I have to admit that I totally agree with my husband because I have found that many girls from mainland China have a tendency of copying the way that Taiwanese girls talk. The grammar is purely mainland Mandarin but the tone of voice is tender and innocent, totally unlike Beijing Mandarin which sounds sharp, smart and tough. My husband has heard too much Beijing Mandarin and in comparison with women from different provinces he thinks "Taiwanese Chinese" is attractive to him.
I guess some men prefer women speaking with some type of accent. Accent in fact makes one being special and unique. I personally think native Japanese women are extremely attractive when they speak any different foreign languages (So far I've experienced hearing native Japanese women speak English, Chinese Mandarin, Cantonese, German and French and they all come with remarkable accents.). The accent might be heavy but the tone of voice is always very cute and somehow sexy which makes me really admire it.
O.K., back to the title "Never Correct Your Asian Girlfriend's English Accent". All I am trying to say is that if you really love your native Asian girlfriend, you had better accept the fact that she is going to have an accent when speaking English. Please find a way to appreciate and enjoy such a one-of-a-kind tone of voice. According to my personal experience, one's accent is just like a gay man who would never be straight. Please don't try to correct your girlfriend's accent because this will only make you look like a male chauvinist asshole. And I am not kidding that a woman will break up with you (or refuse dating with you) because of that. If you really can not stand her accent please let her English teacher do the dirty job. Or, simply find women from different races that speak perfect English.
And the best way of improving your native Asian girlfriend's English is to keep on speaking perfect English to her, without stupid content. She might have an accent but this doesn't mean that she is stupid or uneducated. She will definitely pick up your manner and find you really attractive if you speak to her smartly and wisely.
Hopefully I didn't miss anything; I only gave it one revision. I have learned three languages other than my native tongue. All of them were learned by mercilessly trying to convince people around me that they were NOT going to offend me by correcting any of the following: syntax, spelling, conjugation, or pronunciation. Because of this, I fully understand the laws behind all of the languages I speak, instead of essentially parroting them back the way most language abusers do. Most people will call me arrogant, and possibly even chauvinist(it's a French word by the way); but I think that people that harass others for trying to improve their skills are the arrogant ones. They would rather continue on in fallacy than accept an attempt to make them better. Anyone who doesn't constantly strive to become better every single moment is a fool. Ignorance and fallacy are the unfortunate consequences of pride. That's my peice
To Kristopher Caine:
^_^
To Kristopher Caine:
"That's my peice"--self-proclaimed grammar Nazi
Ever heard of that little first grade rule? "I" before "E" except after "C"? I certainly paid attention to Mrs. Rogovin. Did you?
Must I spell it out for you literally? Piece, not peice.
I think you (the self-proclaimed grammar Nazi) just completely failed that simple, elementary grammar rule that we learned in grade school. If you aren't a native English speaker, you should have learned this rule anyway as an English language learner.
You, my friend, just came off looking like not only a chauvinistic asshole, but an INCOMPETENT DOUCHE. How's that for MY French?
To yxhuang:
My parents are from Taiwan but I was born in the U.S.
I enjoyed reading your PIECE. People like Mr. Caine are just bitter and jealous that they cannot find a beautiful, intelligent, and educated Asian girlfriend like you or me. By the way, I am married to a respectful, loving Caucasian man. Good luck, and thank you for your piece, once again.
To An Asian-American woman, certified secondary school English teacher in Massachusetts:
^_^ (Chinese) or :-) (English)
I wish I can show my "smile" to you face to face. I've learned from Buddha that to make me smile to things that are unspeakable. Nice to meet you here and thanks for dropping by.
omg I totally agree yxhuang! My friend's ex-boyfriend used to do that all the time to my friend (lets call her Sothery) and she got so mad when he corrected her english accent. He's from Texas so he thinks everybody's english accent should be perfect if u live in the US. I thought it was rediculous and immature. My friend is vietnamese and cambodian and she just moved here from vietnam about 4 months ago. Her english is perfect but she still has her asian accent.
But nobody should go through the embarrassment and shame of being corrected of their english. I'm japanese and everyone one in my house speaks japanese (me and my siblings are the only ones who speak english, my parents can't speak it yet) and i hate when people EVEN MY TEACHERS corrects my on certain sentences, words, phrases just because I have an asian accent. What really gets on my nerves is that I always mispronounce the word computer i always say it like compwutor and my teacher always stops and corrects me and i always feel ashamed and like I wanna hide. I even try to talk like I'm british sometimes just so I can stop being made fun of for it and stop being corrected for it.
I'm glad u spoke your mind yxhuang and people should give us more respect for how we talk NOT JUST US ASIANS every other foreign person with an accent. That's what I believe
kudos and have a nice day =)
~Teenalee Hashimoto
The "grammar nazi" also has a lot of errors....
You both need to work on your past present and future tense usage.
chinese girls that speak english with a chinese accent are adorable. way more attractive than ABC girls who speak with no accent.
don't hate your accent, love it!
I think that one is never too old to learn a language perfectly. Take Joseph Conrad, for example. He learned English as an adult, and he still managed to become a successful writer who writes in English. Asian people are no exception to that. However, if you don't tolerate being corrected, then you might never be able to get rid of your grammar mistakes. It's all just a question of attitude, not of one's origins, and certainly not of race. Believe it or not, my mother tongue is no closer to English than yours, even though I am European.
I for one would love to have the opportunity of being corrected. Unfortunately, not being able to afford to stay in an English speaking country, I don't.
Of course it is your decision whether you want to get rid of those pesky grammar glitches and the accent, but please don't claim that this is impossible for people of certain origins.
As for my own (mis-)use of English, ungrammatical and unidiomatic speech does bother me, and I'm trying to get rid of it. Having an imperfect accent doesn't (for as long as people can easily understand it).
ha, such a funny article. I live in Taiwan. I hate almost everyone because they want to make fun of my accent when I speak Chinese, even though I never went to school to learn any Chinese. I think they have no room to speak since they learned English for so many years in school, but speak still speak so horribly. To sum it up, what comes around goes around. Actually, in the U.S. I think most of your American friends won't say anything about your accent. If someone does, tell them to go #($& themself. It seems to always be that idiots with no talent say bad things about others.
Cris A says:
12 months ago
Borrowing Ebert's famous line "two thumbs up, way way up!" That's for speaking your mind out and telling the world how you feel about your topic. However it's quite natural to feel curious (and speaking about it as well) about things that are not native to one's culture. My advice is to have patience and try to understand more. I mean I'm sure you or your friends find funny a nonChinese's efforts at speaking Chinese. I am Asian too and trust me I know your sentiments. Just be more discerning when judging a remark as to whether it's an insult or really just a remark that has nothing more to it. Sometimes, paranoia gets the better of us. Nice hub! :D