Living in the upper east side of Texas, it’s a ways to anywhere that you can pile clams and mussels and lobster and crab and potatoes and corn under a tarp and steam up a great clam and lobster bake.  If you have ready any of my hubs, you know that is something on the “Someday I Will…” list. For now, though, my only hope fell to the new menu items at Joes Crab Shack. Joes now offers a selection of six different steam pots as well as steam pots for two. The last time I went to Joes, I saw them on the menu but they were a little beyond that day’s budget. I still very much enjoyed my favorite, the Bar-B-Q Dungeness Crab. I vowed, however, that come birthday time, I would get “THE BEAN TOWN BAKE.”

Now being a couple of months older and wiser, the time rolled around to exercise my wish to tackle “THE BEAN TOWN BAKE!” OK, drama is over, I’ll quit emphasizing it now. I had checked on the net to be sure it was still there and was pleased to find that the appetizers were on special for just $5 each with only a couple of exceptions. We invited some friends to join us and met at the restaurant. Our friends were running a little late (John runs on John Standard Time) so we ordered drinks and I decided to try the garlic steamed mussels (for $5). When they arrived, the smell of garlic was so strong that the mosquitoes left the building for fresh air. The taste was excellent. The wife is not a mussel fan but even she enjoyed them. The daughter, on the other hand, did the hands waving in the air, yucky yuck face. I’m not sure she belongs to me. She doesn’t like escargot either. They were nice and tender, not rubbery as they are so many times.

John and Sharon arrived and ordered up some spicy crab balls (called Great Balls of Fire). I will not going into the sideline anatomy jokes that go with “crab balls” and “chicken nuggets” here. Suffice to say, they were also very tasty with just a touch of fire to them.

It was time to order. He daughter went with an appetizer combo. The wife went with a grilled Sunset Salmon with Pineapple Pico de Gallo. Our friends a lobster and snow crab pot for two with sausage, corn, and potatoes.

I ordered a steampot. As I said, there are six choices for steampots at Joes.

• · The Orleans comes with a pound of crawfish, 12 shrimp, and andouille sausage in Cajun spices.
• · The Long Islander comes with a pound of mussels, a pound of clams, 12 shrimp and a sausage.
• · The Sunset Fire Grilled comes with spicy Dungeness and Snow Crab, shrimp and a sausage.
• · The Old Bay Steampot comes with 2 snow crab clusters, a pound of clams, and a sausage cooked in Old Bay spices.
• · Joe’s Classic Steampot comes with Dungeness and Snow Crab, boiled shrimp and sausage.

All are served with corn and new potatoes. I highly recommend that if you order one with Dungeness Crab, that you have them do the Bar-B-Q flavored. No, it isn’t in barbeque sauce; rather it is cooked with almost a rub type of flavoring and is spectacular.

I, on the other hand, ordered the Bean Town Bake put together to mimic a Beach Party Clam Bake in New England. The steampot includes TWO steamed lobsters, a pound of clams, 6 shrimp and a sausage along with the corn and potatoes.

During the wait, we soaked in the ambience of Joes, which, admittedly, isn’t for everyone. This is a party place. The music is rock and disco and the décor is slightly bawdy. The saying on the wall across from us read “Joe’s Galley Crew, Highly Trained Individuals in Most Places.” Our waiter had on a tea shirt that read “Never Crab Naked.  A little pinch goes a long way.”

Soon the food arrived. Let me just say, it was worth the wait. The lobsters appeared to be in the 1 to 1 ¼ pound size. After donning the lobster bibs it was time to dig in. With parts-a-flying, my friends and I started pulling the lobsters apart. I gave my wife the obligatory lobster claw meat. These types of actions preserve our 37 year marriage. I added the lemon to my melted butter and I was off. The clams were great, the shrimp was great. (The sausage will be but I ran out of room.) The lobster was delicious. I was too full for desert but highly recommend their Bananas Foster. It is excellent. I will caution you about one thing. Do not tell your friends that it is your birthday and go to Joes. They set me up so that I had to sing happy birthday to me to the entire restaurant. I don’t get mad, I get even.

We had a wonderful time.  I just can’t even imagine how good it will taste one day out on the beach with the smell of the ocean and gulls raising the roof because they want their take of the catch. If you live in central Kansas or Iowa or Nebraska, this may be your best bet! I hope you enjoy yourself and the trip to Joes becomes part of your Treasured Pasts.

Stuart