News from the Universe

I have been praying, meditating, casting my eyes towards the cloudy skies and asking, begging for this to happen. I've read the stories. And my healthy sense of skepticism has always objected to them. It just couldn't be like that. With every new story I'd shake my head and think to myself: "Why not me?"

I mean, let's face it. We can't be alone. It's not just unlikely, or improbable. The Universe is at least 93 billion light years across. That's 5,878,625,373,183,610,000,000 miles. I was contemplating on this last night. I just sat there, at home, and thought about our solar system, which contains only one star, 8 planets and some 166 moons. Then I thought about the fact that this solar system is part of something bigger, much bigger: the Milky Way galaxy, which contains many solar systems. And from there my mind wondered to the Universe, which in turn contains numerous galaxies. I kind of lost it at that point.

It's as if the Universe felt that the Big Bang would be my next thought; scary too, I can tell you that. There was this implosion of sound and light. As if everything was sucked into the smallest of points in one picosecond to which there seemed to be no end. So there I was. There was no light, yet at the same time there was no darkness. There was no sound, yet at the same time there was no silence. There was just me. Well, that's what I thought for a second. I had never felt so alone, yet at the same time so... surrounded by Life. Life with a capital L. I felt this Presence and I nearly started to wonder if god did actually exist, in spite of all my logical conclusions regarding his existence.

I didn't get much time to get used to this situation, though. Out of nothing They appeared. And they were nothing like I expected. Even though you know that the stories are rubbish, even though you know that movies are just the products of some art director, they're nothing like what you expect. Good thing I had brought my digital camera!

The things that came to mind when I saw them was: jellyfish. They had this transparency, this softness, weakness. These creatures were floating around me and I felt... examined. Even though I could not discover anything that looked like eyes I felt as if they were watching me very closely.

As if they sensed that I began to feel uncomfortable, they broke the silence and introduced themselves. Yep, that's right: they are able to speak English. The German accent was a bit weird, but other than that I was perfectly able to understand them. So we talked a bit about the usual stuff and they actually proved to be quite cool.

Now that we had dealt with the formalities, the atmosphere got more relaxed. We grabbed a few beers, had a few laughs and got along very well. I almost wet my pants when what they called the Bermuda Triangle of Bullshit came up. Evidently I had no idea what or who they were talking about, but after another beer and an explanation it became clear to me. They were talking about Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield and Michael Bernard Beckwith. Or Heuy, Dewey, and Louie, as they referred to them. The Secret's no secret, they told me. It's sheer ignorance. And believe me; these guys knew what they were talking about. I mean, they've seen like a hundred galaxies. They've got a navigation system that makes TomTom look like Ms Pacman. They've been around. And trust me, if there'd be something like a virtual mailbox for human wishes, they'd know about it. So Proctor and Gamble are basically the same. Our friend Bob Gambled and hit the jackpot with his lucky guess. They also told me that ET finally has a cell phone.

Time flies when you're having fun, you know. So before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye again. Apparently they had some intergalactic dinner party they had been invited to. As we all had enjoyed this encounter so much, we agreed to see each other again. Unfortunately they couldn't tell me when, but they did promise to schedule a longer stay over. On this next vacalienation they will show me around. They'll also let me know in advance so that I can pack a few things. Sunglasses, swimwear and stuff. I'll be glad to report on that too. Until then, keep this to yourself. We'll keep this our little secret.