Nonresistance, Detachment, and Nonjudgment… And Find Total True Love, A New Earth Discussion Part 10

How To Attract Your Soul Mate

Yesterday I wrote about becoming an ordinary woman again. I wrote about giving up the shoulds, the trappings of what I thought being an expert was. For years, I helped others shine. I liked what I did. It brought me joy.

Then it seemed like I was hiding in that capacity. It seemed like I was supposed to be in the spot light. I tried it and I didn’t like it.

One of my life tenants is there is no failure but that of not trying. If you try and are not successful at exactly what you were doing, if you learn something you are successful. I think it was Edison who said something like I didn’t fail. I just learned a 1000 ways that wouldn’t work. I learned that I really do enjoy helping others to be more of themselves.

Last night I hit, for the third time in three weeks, the same roadblock in this new program that I joined. After the second roadblock, I said to the Universe “Give me a sign that I can not miss. Make it as gentle a sign as possible.” Well, hitting the same roadblock three times in a row is that sign. I’m leaving that training program. I learned that this is not what I want to do with my life.

To Tolle’s list above I’ll add “Good News, Bad News, Who Knows” This morning I read that "nonresistance, nonjudgment, and nonattachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living."

For me I will stop resisting my nature to help from behind the scenes. I am no Oprah or even the Oprah of Radio like they call Dr. Pat Baccili. I will try to stop judging myself for not being either of those two, or a best selling author, or the owner of a million-dollar internet business. I’ll try to practice detachment. This one is hard for me especially around money.

I grew up in a lower middle class family. My dad ran a printing press and mom stayed home with the kids until I was a teenager. I worked to pay for my cloths and extras because we didn’t have a lot of money. But our home was clean, and we always had enough food and base necessities. My dad worked hard and put in a lot of overtime to take on vacations. Making money was always on the top of my ‘must-do’ list.

So being detached around money is still hard for me. I look first at what the work pays rather than how happy I’ll be doing it. I’m going to try and do it a different way.

I’m going to try being of service rather than making money by providing a service – a subtle, but staggering difference. And maybe… maybe, I’ll get back to my inner space, the inner space I used to have before I became an ego-driven, over-inflated talking head.

I want to be me again. I know what that feeling is like. I just started to write that I’ll know when I get there, but I think I’m there as I write this, as I share this very personal part of myself with all of you.

And thank you Eckhart Tolle and Oprah for providing a focus for my journey. It has been truly unexpected. I guess I’m looking at the Total True Love within myself. I’ve always said that I teach what I have to learn.

Colleen, an ordinary woman