The little woman is driving me crazy.

At the ripe old age of 27 (28 in October), she has decided that after a year of dating we are ready to be engaged. Oh, and she revealed that she also wants to finish her Master's (1.5 more years, currently enrolled), then get her counseling license (2 years of "supervision" and extra classes), then get her PhD (... years), then get a specialized Master's... Oh, and she also revealed that she wants to have 5 kids, and needs to start soon because the risks of birth defects steadily increase after the age of 35.

So, let's review.

1) She is currently about $50-60K in debt with Undergraduate and Graduate student loans. That will increase to at least $80K by the time she is done with this madness.

2) She wants me to buy her a ring "because it is time".

3) She doesn't want a "huge" wedding, but something like 80-100 people... and her parents don't have any money... So, what's that? $30K? More?

4) She wants to keep on going to school, racking up more and more debt because she says "debt from student loans is 'good debt' because it means more earning potential through education". We'll get to that.

5) Until she completes school, she has to keep working at her current job as a Psychologist (unlicensed) working for a non-profit, poorly-funded-by-the-state company working with the developmentally-disabled... making less than $36K per year.

6) Oh, but wait... her degree will actually be in School Counseling (as in "Guidance Counselor"). She wants to be a Licensed Therapist... AND a Guidance Counselor. That requires an additional 2 years of Supervision in a community setting. Yeah, she'll be keeping her current job through that period, too, to get those Supervision hours. And, there are required Continuing Education Credits she is required to complete towards her license as well...

7) That extra education means she can bill clients $120/hour for counseling in a private practice... so ~$240K per year.

Well, no, that's not right. She can bill $120 per each hour that she is actually on the clock with a client. For a full time day that's about 4 billable hours, so ~$120K per year.

Well, no, that's not right either. Because, well, with all those kids coming rapidly she will need time off for birthing, and will be unpaid since she bills hourly... and even when she is working, it will probably be reduced hours since there are kids all over the place. So, let's say on average spread throughout the year she works 2 billable hours per day, so ~$60K per year.

Oh, damn, remember all of those student loans? I guess that will have to come out of the $60K per year...

$60K per year is not a bad income, but it is also not realistic... her plan is to work full time as a Guidance Counselor to take advantage of the hours and benefits provided by a school system job and the supplement her income nights, weekends, and Summer as a Therapist.

AND... let's not ignore the fact that there is a 2 year period AFTER she gets her Master's where she is still stuck in the lousy-paying job. She won't be working as a Guidance Counselor in a school system during that time because she needs the Supervision hours for her Licensed Therapist designation.

8) A kid is not cheap. 5 kids is very much NOT cheap. ANY kids takes away all of those lucrative private-practice Therapist hours...

Let's review the situation a bit more, shall we?

I just got divorced. The divorce was only final right about when I met her.

I don't think there is any mandate to get engaged after one year.

I don't even know if I want to get married again. Honestly, I am jaded. I am not sure I believe in it as a sacred institution as I once did.

I don't even know if I want kids anymore.

I know for a fact that I don't want 5 kids. 2. Maybe. Not now.

I like having a girlfriend, especially one I am attracted to. What is so wrong with dating for a few years? She complains that I am commitment-phobic... I argue that I am NOT. I am exclusively dating her, and am faithful.

I hate having pressure to marry and an impending tidal wave of debt. Is that shallow? I feel like I have worked so hard my whole life to escape the lifestyle of my parents. I have earned my lifestyle. I am in control of my finances. Is it shallow of me to look at her debt as a threat to my own hard work?