OK Ladies, What's in Your Bra?
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K&H Heated Resting Mat for Small Animals, 9 By 12 Inches
Price: $20.95
List Price: $34.99 |
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Animal-Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small
Price: $11.19
List Price: $21.95 |
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Marshall Small Animal Playpen Mat/Cover 8-Panel, Colors Vary
Price: $13.57
List Price: $19.99 |
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Zoo Animals Ark Playset: 75 Piece Playset of small Animal Figures, Trees, Boat and more
Price: $17.99
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Curious George Plush - 16" small stuffed animal plush toy
Price: $19.99
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Humane Way Small Live Animal Trap for Squirrels 17"X5"X5"
Price: $13.99
List Price: $13.99 |
A 24 year-old veterinarian in Texas has apparently tickled the imagination of animal lovers with her method of comforting traumatized baby animals such as squirrels, kittens, possums and rabbits. She snuggles them inside her bra while she is wearing it. This apparently calms orphaned critters by making them feel warm and cushy.
While I am not totally opposed to the idea of people keeping small animals in their lingerie, I think this is not for everyone. In fact, considering the social disruption such a trend could cause, I propose that this should only be legal for licensed professional veterinarians , who wear bras, in the privacy of their own office, whether they be male or female.
Having hissing possum sounds coming from one's cleavage, would seem to be a social drawback. At the very least, it would bring up questions about whether something was deflating. I can recall when I was a teen, that some girls, especially when attending formal or dress up occasions, felt the need to enhance their bust line measurements with a little stuffing of tissue, cotton or even foam rubber bosom enhancers. I never considered doing this myself, but if I had ,I certainly never would have contemplated using squirmy mammals. Foam rubber animals, perhaps, but never live critters which tend to be somewhat lumpy and difficult to keep in place. Foam rubber animals are difficult enough, though how would I know?
Can you imagine slow dancing with your teenage beau and giving him the unintended impression that your heart was doing flip flops because of his nearness?
"I think I can feel your heart beating", he whispers
breathily in your ear.
"No, it's a weasel," you answer with similar breathiness.
Then suddenly it goes "pop", as weasels are prone to do, right out the top of your lace trimmed formal. He runs screaming from the festively decorated high school gymnasium, as your classmates stare in disbelief.
Could this practice be the REAL answer to Victoria's secret? It makes me wonder if female veterinarians buy larger sized bras than they would normally wear in order to accommodate wildlife. And what about natural bodily functions associated with small animals, (besides gnawing)? Wouldn't you think that having cupfuls of furry critters in such close contact, would result in some embarrassing deposits and stains? Another thing-- though I am really hesitant to bring this up-- but what is the first thing a tiny kitten looks for after it is born? Well, never mind.
Animal activists may latch on to this idea and lobby for laws which require bra manufacturers to take orphaned mammals into account in sizing their products. My ultimate worry is that big hearted women with a little extra room in their bras, will begin to see this as a way to protect endangered species and start going around with baby prairie dogs, wombats, or lemurs tucked inside their undergarments. Have you ever walked down the street and seen a person in front of you who seems to have a couple of combative black footed ferrets in her shorts? This could actually happen if people are not careful. Believe me, it's not a pretty sight.
Then there is a whole other world of animals that are not furry. Think about the giant banana slug and the spiny sea urchin. Don't they need protecting? But who in their rightful mind would invite these creatures into their bosom?
Ladies, remember what your Mom said, and be very careful about what or who gets into your intimate garments. If it costs us a few banana slugs and wombats, so be it. At least you will still have your self respect and dignity.
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Comments
hysterical!
OMg, I am crying. You owe me a new keyboard if all the Pepsi I just blew into mine shorts it out. Hardest I've laughed on Hubpages by far to this point....
"I can feel your heart beating."
"No, it's a weasle."
God that's classic. I'll be sending some folks to this one for sure.
Now this is a good one!! Pop goes the weasel! You have a gift for storytelling and humor, that is for sure. My goodness, who would do such a thing, even in the name of "comforting" an animal. What if they bit you there? And yes - you hit on the stains and droppings aspect. ewwwww. nope, not for me (not that I am a vet anyway) thank goodness. nice kitty. LOL
Rochelle,
Hilarious! I will never look at buxom women the same way... I will look for some form of life in their high pockets! lol I loved this, it was so funny... I am still laughing. Thank you!
Thanks new Day, Doghouse, shadesbreath, tater2tot, Dineane and Donna. Glad you all enjoyed it (sorry about the fleas, Donna) feel free to spread it around-- We coud save a lot of orphan mammals if more people were willing to go to the next cup size.
This is very funny, but what makes it classic is the ad google put at the top of your page. Right now it is "The True Invisible Bra Liftys". I guess they don't consider warm fuzzies to be "true liftys".
Thanks Rhym--- though on my view, that particular ad seems to have vanished. I thought it added to the article, especially since i didn't have any pics of my own to post.
I can see that ad & it does compliment the article in a strange & funny way! Great fun!
OK that's good to hear . . . I think. I still don't see it, but maybe that only goes to prove that the ads might not be the same for everyone. Thanks for reading!
I think I'll make a grrrAnimals Bra! LOL loved the article.
Great idea! Be sure to include some weasels.
LOL LOL LOL,,,toooooo funny! Excuse me while I run to the girls' room!
Thanks for the laughs!
Trish
hahahah, this is brilliant. You sound so very serious, like you're truly wondering what this new development of carrying around little furry things in one's bra might mean. I loved this hub.
Glad you enjoyed it Trish and Maylinda. Wonder of it would work with that "Invisible Bra" that shows up in the ad on this page. How would you know where to put the critters?
LOL! Wonderful hub! Shade's link to this was a great idea. :) To think I might have missed this...
I always appreciate getting mention from Shades-- I think he helped my Garden Gnomes for self-defense hub, too. Glad you enjoyed it.
Haha! Did you hear about the girl who found a baby bat in her bra? Here's the link:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howabou
So funny...weird....but funny...glad I found this hub!
Hilarious. I absolutely love it. Still laughing. :)
If only it weren't true! Growing up I knew a girl who used to keep her pet rat either in her shirt or on the back of her neck under her hair. It really gave a new meaning to the "rat tail" hair style! Great hub!
This is hilarious! I can't imagine keeping a live animal in my bra, though, what about their itty bitty claws digging into your cleavage?!?
Thanks, everyone. All those women who burned their bras in the 70's (or whenever) really missed out on something.
Giggling! When I fostered kittens last year, I had to watch out when I was changing, because one of them would see me exposed and immediately start running, wanting to nurse! Luckily, in a few months she grew out of that habit of thinking I would let her.
Ya know, jackalopes are often frightened, and in need of refuge...
B.T. I think there is a jackalope refuge and rehab center in Arizona.
Yeah B.T., go to Arizona, stay away from my wife and daughter you creepy, horned rodent. There's no refuge here.
LOL, I loved this! I am going to read al your stuff now!
How come I did not see this before? It's just hilarious! Thanks Rochelle :D
LOL very funny
You really made me laugh this morning as my apple juice almost went the same direction as Shadesbreath's. As I contemplate how in this post mastectomy state of affairs, that I will have to wear a prosthetic jelly belly in my bra -- you have opened my eyes to greater possibilities. For the next six to eight months, while I wait for reconstructive plastic surgery, it's nice to know there are alternatives. LOL
Thanks Gwen-- be warned that not all of my hubs are humorous, some are only semi-funny.
Misha-- I don't know. I thought you were all-seeing. This was one of my earliest posts, I think.
My favorite one is Using Garden Gnomes for Self-Defense.
Thanks,all-- and thanks to Shadesbreath, my PR guy.
Very funny thanks!
I am an animal lover and did have a miniature horse who loved to get into the outdoor shower with me and put his little nose in the stream of water. Very cute until he would yank my towel off the hook and try to eat my shampoo. Having been banned from the "comunnal shower" one day he took a nibble on my left breat as I was bending to put his food in his tray at the barn. I thought I had lost my nipple it hurt so bad! Fortunately it did not bleed and looked much like an ordinary hickey but all I could think about was: This is going to be hard to explain in the ER! I suppose it would have been worse if I had to admit that I let my horse in the shower!
I'm sure the ER people have heard many unlikely tales. Yours probably would be retold, at least among the co-workers.
Thanks for adding to the fun.
That is too funny, Rochelle! You've inspired me to write about Chuzzle. Chuzzle was a baby squirrel we rescued from the slobbering jaws of our Rhodesian Ridgeback. And to think, I missed out on nuzzling Chuzzle in my bosom. What was I thinking?!
OOOooo. a person with actual experience!
I hope that cymbal banging monkey wasn't one of your foster animals.
Thanks for the read-- feel free to link to my hub.
What a hoot. Obviously the animals are reacting to the warmth, comfort and the sound of ones heart beat as a familiar sound thateven human babies find comfort in. the healing powers of touch are here too. Besides that it was darn funny.. Oh in my Bra it's just me no stuffing of animals or other wise.
Thanks Ms. Advice.Â
All of those things you mentioned are probably quite true. When I stuffed my "pocket mouse" in my shirt __ (I that I hubbed about that, into my -- even though I was a ten year old, the heartbeat and warmth probably did help it bond to me.
Actually, I never thought about the connection about these two hub subjects of mine. Thanks for your positive comments.
"Having hissing possum sounds coming from one's cleavage, would seem to be a social drawback. At the very least, it would bring up questions about whether something was deflating. "
I'm reaching up from the floor to type this because I'm laughing so hard, I can't get up!!!!
Thank you, Laughing Mom. This had been buried for so long, I didn't think it would be read again.
Now, calm down, read something serious, and get off the floor before the kids see you.
Too late. They are standing here looking at me like I've lost my mind. I may be writing to you next from the sanitarium on the hill.
No, you got it backwards. It's the laughter that KEEPS you sane.
That's a relief. That means I'm the sanest one in this house!
:-))
"...who wear bras, in the privacy of their own office, whether they be male or female."
Hoover would be proud. ;)
"Having hissing possum sounds coming from one's cleavage, would seem to be a social drawback."
Only if you're not with a bunch of furries, I think.
Funny hub, very thoughtful, too. Makes me want to break out some Vicky Secrets stuff and shove one of my rodent kids down it.
Ahh, but..alas, I've not any bras.
Sincerely,
G|M
LOL, This is just too funny!I guess we will have to give men a break now when they ask,"Is that a weasel in your bra or are you just happy to see me.?" Very funny hub. :-)
Thank you G/M and thank you Whikat.
I appreciate the comments. If neither of you are willing to try this-- well-- I understand.
So glad I followed you here -- Rochelle, you are a true wit. This is funny any clever and strange: the ingredients of greatness!
HI Teresa-- I have more strange ones, mostly the ones I posted early before I (almost) became a serious person.
Congratulations on your 300 fan medal!
Natural sense of humor shining through , lmao....just brilliant!! , ive stored many things over the years down there ,but nothing that had its own pulse.....hahaha Im still laughing
The pulse might be ok-- teeth and claws, not. Thanks for your comment.
Thanks for that; I needed a good laugh. Now, if only I could find a small animal to boost my post-nursing bosom...
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DonnaCSmith says:
2 years ago
I think I've got one of Barnie's fleas in mine . . .