MESSAGE TO ALL ON THE MOST DIFFICULT MOTHER'S DAY

by Marybeth Scheinbaum

 (5/10/09--NOTE: My mother-in-law Lucile Carpenter Brennan died May 6, 2009 after a very brief illness at the ripe old age of 99. Her life is a story--a long story--for another day. Any daughter would feel the full range of life's emotions under these circumstances this Mother's Day, but a strange thing happened. While going through some old papers and photos for a memorial service for her mom, she found an old newsletter. To all our readers and their families, but especially their moms, the column below is a Mother's Day gift to you. It was written by my wife Marybeth in March 1990 in Palm Beach County, Florida when she was local chapter President for the American Association of University Women. Marybeth Brennan Scheinbaum holds a degree in Publications from Simmons College in Boston, worked as a newspaper reporter for the Bergen (NJ) Record; worked at two national political conventions for United Press International, to name just a few of her accomplishments. The unabridged column appears below--Mark Scheinbaum)

AAUW PRESIDENT'S MESSAGE MARCH 1990

I used to think in wonder about the tales of accomplishments by my grandmothers and great-grandmothers--women who ran households, traveled the country and the world, without the modern conveniences I take for granted--good plumbing, washing machines, store bought food. These women in my family ran the farms, were partners in business, traveled the seas with their captain husbands and their children aboard clipper ships, opened photography studios, ran boarding houses, bore children at home, took care of the sick and the dying often with little more than their own grit and common sense, became pillars of their community and raised children to be attorneys, state politicians, successful businessmen, state supreme court justices, nurses, clergymen, and chemical engineers.

They didn't have mental health support groups. they didn't have welfare to get them through hard times. But what they did have was a family that taught them the joy and worth of learning strong religious values, extended families and communities that cared about what was happening to them and theirs. they also had a rigid code of what a woman was "supposed" to do, as much as they fought to tear down the stereotypes of a "woman's place."

Today's "liberated" woman is facing different trails, I now believe they are no less courageous. There seem to be no rules except that a woman will have to be able to adapt to change. Even the assurance and responsibility that a woman's children are in her care is frequently questioned in divorce court. A woman's path is not set. She may be raising children early or late in life. She may be pursuing a career continuously, or bowing in or out of the professional work force. She may or may not be married. She faces a longer life and frequently is responsible for the care of elderly parents at the same time she is helping out her grandchildren. She often tries to nurse a spouse through terminal illness at the same time she sees life-time savings used up in medical costs. And because of the mobility of Americans she is frequently facing crises of job losses, divorce, and death alone. A recent study found that on any given night there are 7000,000 youth on the streets. They come from families that have not successfully coped with stress.

 The American media applaud the movie star and the business tycoon. But too infrequently will it applaud the heroines and the heroes in our cities and towns--those who successfully hold their families together, contribute to the work force and add a positive direction to the community. And as neighbors we too forget to applaud, love and support each other. As we think on Women's Month take time to contemplate and appreciate the women of today who are moonlighting to pay the rent, who are supporting their families when irresponsible fathers will not, who are going back to school for more education to keep up with techniques, who are caring successfully for the emotional, physical and moral health of their children, who are adapting to a retirement in a new community, and who are breaking barriers in new careers.

Praise the women who have taken the challenge of the modern world's stresses and transformed them into positive growth for themselves and their community.

Tell a woman you care about her today. Thank them for their leadership, their examples, their contributions.

 Praise the women of today.

 --Marybeth Brennan Scheinbaum