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Odd Things: The World is Full of Them

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By Rochelle Frank


An odd thing happened recently.

An aquaintace of mine, looked me in the eye and said, "You think of the oddest things." She had apparently been reading some of my recent hubs.

In reality, there is a mind boggling array of odd things I never think about. Ukrainian paleontologists rarely enter my thoughts, I don't give much thought to two headed snakes, tea bag tag collectors, or garden shrubs clipped into the likenesses of famous Italian tenors, all of which are undeniably odd.

In fact, I once started a list of odd things. I lost the list and can't remember what most of the things were, which only proves how little thought I gave them. One may have been soy milk, which is odd because soy is not a mammal.


Telemarketers are odd, believing as they must, that people who mute TV commercials would gladly get up from dinner, answer the phone and listen to a five minute pitch for a product they don't need or want.

There are scores of other odd callings, like: deodorant tester, worm rancher, falconer, political speech writer, and professional apologizer. I don't know if countries other than China have professional apologizers, but over there people hire them to smooth things over with individuals they may have offended.

Odd.

Perfumes named after numerals like 4711 Cologne, or Chanel No. 5, or named after moral failings and mental disorders like My Sin, Forbidden Desire, Infatuation, Obsession, and Paranoia are odd. Beauty salons, I believe, are legally required to have odd names like Curl Up and Dye, or The Clip Joint. (... and I'm almost afraid to admit that there really is no perfume named Paranoia.)

Having a reptile or amphibian, such as a saber toothed snapping turtle, as a pet is odd.

Limericks are odd.

Creating full size models of anything from toothpicks is odd. Electric fly swatters are odd. Garden gnomes are odd,as well.

Small Welsh villages whose names have fifty letters or more are odd. How to they fill out sweepstakes coupons and subscription forms in those towns? How long are their envelopes?

Certain ethnic and gourmet foods can be odd. For instance escargot and poi, especially when served together, are odd.Baba Ghanoush is odd because it sounds like something which has been stepped on while it was still alive. Pasta made in the shape of tiny wagon wheels or stand-up comics is odd.

Using the correct form of the verb "to be" after a prepositional phrase in that last sentence sounds odd.

I find it odd that "diaper" spelled backwards is "repaid".

I hope no one misunderstands. I have nothing against odd things. Certainly paleontologists and apologizers of any race, religion and nationality should have the right to make an honest living. And that goes for garden gnomes as well.

Every generation of teenagers has gone to great lengths to be more odd than the previous one with odd fashions, odd music, odd dances, odd verbal expressions, and odd behaviors which, in time, begin to seem normal and therefore no longer odd.

There are a few odd things to which I have given brief consideration before dismissing them as totally unanswerable mysteries. One of them is how a household of four persons can generate 12 loads of laundry in two days.

Another is why everyone in my family likes a different kind of salad dressing, except when we go to a restaurant together where everyone orders the same kind.

I have found it is useless to try to change such oddities. I once decided that I would solve the dressing dilemma by buying the restaurant's own brand and then creating a restaurant ambiance at home.

I put a flickering candle in a colored glass jar covered by a mesh onion bag. I used cloth napkins and carefully spattered water spots on the glasses and eating utensils, just like the restaurant does. Nobody liked the dressing that night, though they may have been put off by the smell of the burning onion bag.

It did smell a little odd.

Comments

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dineane profile image

dineane  says:
17 months ago

what an odd hub :-) and how odd that I enjoyed it so much!

Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank  says:
17 months ago

Then, you are my kind of people.

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee  says:
17 months ago

Drats! dineane said exactly what I was going to say. Verrry odd.... =)

Another great hub, Rochelle!

dineane profile image

dineane  says:
17 months ago

it was fun to be first :-)

Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank  says:
17 months ago

Still, appreciated, JGee.

DonnaCSmith profile image

DonnaCSmith  says:
17 months ago

Oh my goodness! You can make the oddest things funny.

Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee  says:
17 months ago

Rochelle! That was really good. I enjoyed every word.

I love the fun hubs the best regards Zsuzsy

Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank  says:
17 months ago

Thanks Zsuzsy Bee. I meant to join your club before this...

FoursX2 profile image

FoursX2  says:
17 months ago

Odd - are you related to Dr. Suess?

Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank  says:
17 months ago

Dr. Suess was delightfully odd.

B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants  says:
17 months ago

Being a professional oddball, I enjoyed every word! And I collect two headed snakes!!

dayzeebee profile image

dayzeebee  says:
17 months ago

oh i could almost hear you say the words wearing this nonchalant look. i was giggling all the way to the last word. thank you.

Maylinda Arons profile image

Maylinda Arons  says:
17 months ago

I love how you sound so very earnest while you're talking about food that sounds like something that got stepped in while it was still alive, or perfumes named after moral failings and mental disorders *dissolves into laughter for a few minutes, and then recovers* I shall hereby join your fanclub, and my thumb shall be pointed upwards.

trish1048 profile image

trish1048  says:
17 months ago

I love your table setting! Hysterical!

Trish

Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank  says:
14 months ago

Thanks B.T., dayzeebee, Maylinda and Trish. There sure are a bunch of people out there lat like odd stuff.

RGraf profile image

RGraf  says:
12 months ago

Since I enjoyed this so much, I must be odder than I had thought:) Loved it! It's amazing all the odd stuff around us.

Deb  says:
11 months ago

I would enjoy sitting in your class!! I bet the students love listening to you!!

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom  says:
10 months ago

LOL, I love this, even though it was a little odd.

Your so funny Rochelle, thanks for the laugh.

Abhishek87 profile image

Abhishek87  says:
8 months ago

Professional apologizers :P Now That is really really odd ..... Thanks for the great hub :)

AEvans profile image

AEvans  says:
8 months ago

Odd, quite odd I loved it and the smell of the onion bag...ooohhhhhhh lolololol:)

MellasViews profile image

MellasViews  says:
8 months ago

haha. cute hub... odd hub... I loved the ending... creating the resturants ambience at home. lol. ; )

Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank  says:
8 months ago

Thank you Abhishek, AE and Mella-- This one has been asleep for a couple of months I'm glad you all enjoyed it.

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