On The Buses
66
I heard these tales the other day and thought to pass them on....
It seems that some time ago a government department bought at great expense a fleet of German, BMW buses for their local city.
Preparatory work was carried out to ensure that the new buses had a decent shelter to house them - in fact the old bus depot was enlarged and upgraded to take into account this hugely expensive, taxpayer purchase. And in due course the fleet of buses arrived to take up residence in their city of purchase...
Well - the first new bus to be taken for a run around the beautiful city was filled with politicians, photographers and Heads of Departments – all looking forward to enjoying the fruits of their combined labours. There were photo opportunities galore just waiting for the right cameraman to make the right click, and then locally famous people could indeed become more famous! Heroes in their own lifetimes...
So the celebrity filled bus leaves the depot, takes a run around the city and then returns for the speech and the photos but unfortunately, as the bus re-enters to park inside the depot the external air conditioning unit, built into and sitting on top of the bus, is forcibly removed from its housing..... The height of the bus as against the dimensions of the depot doorway had not been taken in account, which resulted in one almighty crash as the air conditioning unit hit the deck followed closely by the sounds of car doors shutting as the politicians quickly removed themselves from should have been a glorious photo opportunity – the celebration of the purchase of new buses for the people of the city!
The second tale involves the same fleet of buses and the fact that said buses need to be washed regularly.
Shortly after the arrival of the buses from Germany there is an edict from on high from one of the “shiny bums” at head office to wash the buses. “Okay” say the good men and woman at the bus depot – we will wash them. The first bus goes through and “oops” the large side mirrors come off; well maybe there is a problem here with the driver; so a second bus goes through the automatic washing process and the same thing happens. Ooops - the aisle where the automatic washing takes place has not been widened sufficiently for the new buses to fit adequately.
So based on the best empirical evidence available at this time a decision was made by the good people at the bus depot to not continue with this exercise. That basically it was not in the best interests of the new buses to continue washing them, as they could all end up denuded of their mirrors!
The “shiny bum” at head office is rung up once more and advised of this somewhat pressing problem and also that the fact that the chaps at the depot think it not wise to continue with the washing of said buses.
Mr Shiny Bum's rather short-sighted and pompous answer to this dilemma was very simple.... “You people are not paid to think – you are paid to do as you are told”.
So they did as they were told and that day there were many new and clean, albeit minus their mirrors, buses at the depot....
Now if there is a moral to both these tales it could be – never overlook your measurements!
Copyright: a.a.gallagher January 2009
The Best Bus Driver in the World - from utube - mediablinker
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Hi ajcor! Good laugh, thanks!
Thanks Sis. Susie - when I found the best Driver In The World it was quite different to what I expected - scary! cheers
Glad you laughed - I must admit I did too after I was told last week - then decided to share it - too good to put away ---cheers
Thanks Elena - love hearing these stories and sharing as they are qute funny some time after the event.....cheers
Never overlook your measurements! I never saw it coming! Too funny!
I drive a school bus, and I thought I was pretty good at it until I watched that video up there. I'd have been in the river lickety-split!!
I'm going to send your link to my boss and several friends.
I am sure you agree proud Mom, with this piece of thruth...cheers - & thanks for dropping in...
Proud Mom I think that we overlapped with the comment thing - glad you are going to send it on to people who can really appreciate the sentiment!....lol
I overlap in lots of ways, ajcor. Comments are just one of them!!!!!!!! :-)))))
funny word overlap Proud Mom - i guess we will find in time in what ways you do this.....lol
I keep my secrets very close to the vest. OOPS! I've said too much.... Ha Ha. I've got a serious case of the tired sillies. The ghost and the bee joke from the hubjacking last night nearly made me wet all over the floor. I can't get that bad tonight.
about the hubjacking - all the comments have been unapproved and are now gone....so I can't go to refresh the joke...oops.
What did the ghost say to the bee?
She took off all the comments? I know she wasn't intending to start a racial thing. I was sad when I saw that it took that turn.
me too - I don't think that she meant to either - quite apart from the fact that the hub had the ability to be a big hubjack - in fact i think it was Christoph who said that there were about 165 comments and counting late last night (our aus. time!) talk about stirring the pot....
Well, I hope she left the hub up. It's wildly amusing. I thought she did a great job of writing it.
Okay, back to the humor. So do you remember what the ghost said to the bee?
nope - over to you!
Ajcor- It is just like the military where orders have to be followed. But seriously when somebody is so stupid can't somebody contact his superior to make that person see reason. It is too bad and in this case even dangerous to drive without mirrors. Nice hub and still catching up on the videos :-)
Okay, but I warned you about the tired sillies AND the possible need for Depends.....
BOO BEE!!!!!!!
Thanks CW one of the videos is seriously scary - the best bus driver in the world I think it is called! and yes ridiculous to waste all that money for such a silly reason...
cheers and thanks for commenting
I can't believe it - Boo Bee - I'm overcome with I am not sure what!!!! i think the tired sillies will help here a lot...thanks for answering the 1 million dollar question....cheers Proud Mom
I warned you. It probably won't be that funny tomorrow morning. Cheers to you, ajcor. I have to go read more of your hubs now.
I actually saw one video where the lady had so shaken the passenger that he just wanted to get out ASAP. I have bookmarked this hub to see all these videos while I have my dinner now. Thanks for warning me and I will watch out for the scary one now. Proud mom does have a unique sense of humor. Even my sense of humor is something that only a few get it...LOL
proud Mom she did leave the hub - just dis-approved all the comments! if you are looking for funny amongst mine try "On birds and Nuts" or "how not to tell your child about sex" there are quite a few others "my dog Charlie" enjoy if you read...cheers I also am going to read yours but tomorrow as I have to get ready to go to a bbq tonight...it is nearly 6.00pm here and very very hot - did I mention it was HOT....cheers
I dont know if I can take any more funny hubs tonight. Maybe I'll save them for tomorrow. It's actually already tomorrow here, which means I'm in the danger zone of having to explain strange injuries to the paramedics from all the laughing. They've recently begun to frown on that.
Have fun at your BBQ! It's as cold here as it is hot there, I'm guessing.
Thanks CW - If ever you find that video again I would love to see it - but don't put yourself to any trouble over it...the scary one involves cliffs - and I'll say no more until you have seen it...lol
PM is it nearly midnight where you are? - I should have the world clock out - as I am sure you don't wish to incur the wrath of the paramedics for injuries by humour! goodnight...
Ajcor- The video I was talking earlier is from this hub titled "dumb woman bus driver..." Yes I will finish watching all the videos and let you know soon.
I'm in Oklahoma, USA. After the first seven midnight calls for help, they decided it best to impose an 11:00 curfew for me. I'd be in trouble if I had to call now! :-)))
I did post a hub about one of their trips to my place, but that one wasn't because of laughing. It's funny now, though.
I'm off to bed. I've enjoyed the chat. Maybe we can do it again sometime.
I sure hope the video Countrywomen is talking about wasn't secretly filmed on MY bus. Maybe I need to go check it out.
Proud Mom- You got punked...LOL
There's probably some truth to that, countrywomen!!! I think I'm among those that get your sense of humor. You do crack me up!
Proud Mom- Thanks for getting my sense of humor. I sometimes let the joke sink into the other person :-) Do you watch those shows: http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/punkd/videos.jhtml
Also Boiling point is another favorite show of mine. Good night and tty later.
ajcor, this is a great hub! A perfect example of why hirelings have more common sense than a Shiny Butt boss! Not to mention an example of bureacracy at it's "best".
Also a great hub because it contains the answer to the burning question: What did the ghost say to the bee?
Maybe I have the Tired Sillies too, but the answer was a total surprise. The kerTHUMP I just heard was the next-door neighbor falling out of bed when I burst out laughing and yelled "BOO BEE! Of course!". ROTFLMAO! (The walls here are pretty well insulated for sound, but not for people YELLING at 2:30 a.m.! teeheehee)
jamaGenee....WHEN do you stop?!?! It's 10:30 in the morning, and I'm feeling the sillies coming on already.
I did the same thing to my girls two nights ago. Except I also nearly wet my pants.
Countrywomen, I've seen a couple of them. One was when they knocked a trailer house completely down and the other was when they tore up the foreign guy from "That 70s Show"'s car.
I'd HATE to be punked!!! LOL
Great hub! I admire anyone who can drive a bus. I wouldn't even have attempted that turn-around on that bridge. Yikes! When my husband first arrived in America two summers ago we were real adventurous and decided to see where this little road led. Well it led it right into the woods into a low area were the water was running across the road. We reached a low spot where I no longer felt it was safe go on. I was forced to make the same type of turn around but on a much smaller scale. The road was only one lane and had running water over it and no one was around to help if we didn't make it. But, here we are. I did it. Took quite a few small movements....but I did it.
what is punked?
Ashton Kutcher (stars in That 70's Show and Just Married) came up with this TV show called "punked" where they pull really wild, outrageous pranks on people--mostly stars, and videotape it. I think Contrywomen posted a link to the show up there earlier.
Speaking of Ashton Kutcher: he has a new show on TV now called "True Beauty". Now THIS one, I love. These 10 people who truly think they are the most beautiful people in the world are brought in to live in this house and compete for the most beautiful person in the world. They're doing all these photo shoots, beauty contests and scientific testing because they think they are being judged on their outer beauty. None of them know they are actually being tested on their INNER beauty. They are so cocky and sure of themselves, going on and on and on and on about how much better they each are than everyone else on the planet. Then you watch every week as one person finds out what the show is really all about as they watch video of themselves being not-so-nice. It's awesome--to steal a word from the 80s. A real tribute to those of us "normal" people.
Thanks Proud Mom - I am bit late in saying that I saw from CW's video link and after a quick look I understand what punking is - finally got it! sorry about that.. and that was a couple of hours ago but some people called in and then I decided that before the real heat pf the day set in I would do some weeding and a bit of a clean up....so thanks for the explanation but the "True Beauty " sounds like it could be most interesting - we don't have it out here as yet - but i guess it won't long before it arrives....cheers
and CW thanks for the link... all those episodes!~...cheers
So you've been out weeding, huh? We're just now thawing out of 4-6 inches of solid ice.
viva la difference - and it is still a stinker in the heat department and promising to continue for a few more days...where does your ice sit? does it stop you moving around? like at your front door?
It kept us inside the first two days. We've been sledding on it ever since. It's funny that you are so hot when we are so cold. I read a news article on the immense heat in Australia today. WHEW!!!!
I understand that in country Victoria (we are in NSW) the bush fires have burned down about 25 houses this weekend - so I feel immensely sad for those people - my brother and his wife lost their home in Canberra bush fires in 2002 and they will probably be scarred forever...are you in a bus fire area?
Not sure what a bus fire is, but I hope not. LOL!!!!
I think if you were in an area where the old bush fires raged you would know! I have seen them on television in your country in the L.A. area - pretty nasty...so that is good or maybe not so good..lol ..you have the ice and we have the fires!!!
OHHH!! BUSH fires. I thought you were making a reference to my job with "bus fires". Too funny.
No, no bush fires around here. We were under a burn ban the day before the ice got here, though. I don't know if that still stands, however. Don't have a need to look it up, if there's no way I can start a fire to begin with. LOL!
silly silly - I did say bus fires in the comment - really glad you don't have to deal with bus fires!! find it amazing you would have a fire ban in the winter...
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Susie says:
11 months ago
A very funny story and as for the Best Bus Driver in the World,I was holding my breathe
whilst watching.