There are plenty of serious advantages to being vegan (e.g., reducing animal suffering, making less of an impact on the environment, improving your health). Along the way, I've discovered a few bonus perks as well:

• It's easy to avoid mercury-laden fish during pregnancy.
• Your clothes never smell like mothballs. Your breath never smells like Doritos.
• The cats prefer their dinner to yours.
• You don't have to know how to make an omelet.
• Just eating the side salad makes you a cheap date.
• You never have to take Lactaid.
• Naturalamb condoms do not protect against STDs. Good thing you don't wear lamb intestine.
• You never worry about undercooked eggs.
• You can be proud to be a polyester bride. And you don't have to register for bone china.
• You haven't eaten British beef.
• There is no temptation to eat the sweets people try to offload at work.