Online Dating For Men: Good Usernames

Ok, we’ve discussed photos and a few other bits about online dating, and today we’re going to talk about usernames, cos some of y’all really must have been passing the peace pipe when you created yours. If you think your username goes unnoticed, think again. I dunno if men actually pay attention to women's names before they click, but most women will notice if you've named yourself completely ridiculous, like Studly_Chudly, ok?

• Hobbies. Fisherman1965, FootballLover32, PoolShark, AvidRunner, SenseiGeorge, etc. These are fantastic ways to let her know something about you just from your name.
• Job. ProfessorMike, CowboyLuke, DoctorFred, TexasLawyer, BostonEditor, GeorgiaTrucker. You can use your first name, your state, your city – anything to make it a little more personal, while still keeping it anonymous.
• Fave movie. Mind you, no Bond references, cos these just make you look like you think you're too sexy for your shirt. And don't select something like Psycho, or Sybil, or The Omen. Only go the movie route if you can come up with something like Bladerunner31, Casablanca1974. etc.

• Overly sexy references. Now, most sites wouldn’t allow this, but some aren’t as good about checking clever spellings as others. And some just don’t seem to care. Regardless, if you have sixty-nine or any reference to size in your name, I am not talking to you under any circumstance, because your mama did not raise you right.
• Hero/Heroine references. What do I mean? I mean the BondSeeksVesper kind of names. Sometimes they’re cute, and sometimes they are clever, but more often they will have the opposite effect of what you intended. For example, a woman might interpret that as you only want a woman who looks like Eva Green – and that could prove intimidating. It could also give her the impression you’re a player who likes to get into trouble. I’m sure you were just trying to be cute, but, as you can see, women are neurotic and will read into every little detail.
• Bizarre letter/number combinations. I’ve seen profiles that read something like 3dbj68ls. I’m sure that means something to the guy who created it, but to the rest of us it looks like you couldn’t be bothered to create anything. That, or you’re paranoid and think making up a nickname will somehow give you away.
• Teenaged Spelling. Don’t call yourself something like URgoing2LuvMe and expect women to contact you. While the correct spelling would also give someone pause, the usage of teenage text-shorthand is really obnoxious in a grownup. You’re on a computer, how hard is it to type the whole thing out??
• Proclamations of Love. You haven’t met the woman reading your profile, so you really shouldn’t have a nickname that reads Iwant2bwithU4Ever or U’n’MeSitting’n’aTree. You know what I’m saying? If you don’t understand why those names would scare a woman, I can only assume you haven’t seen one in a really long time.