Online Indecent Exposure
70By A. Jill Gaebel
© 2008
The only material I can find online so far concerning indecent exposure relates to children and pedophiles. It is good that such information is available, but I wanted to see something that also applies to adult women that have received unsolicited and unexpected graphic sexual materials from men on the social networking websites and other similar internet venues.
This isn't the same thing as two consenting adults who agree to have a personal online experience. I have recently become aware that there are some on these sites that will induce trust in communication by way of email or chat, and then suddenly send explicit pictures of their "equipment" or videos of pleasuring themselves to someone who was expecting to become friends or experience some light flirtation.
To me, this is something that I consider internet rape and I feel it shouldn't be taken lightly by either the victims of this type of assault or by the guardians of the websites.
Here is what I would hope happens when such a thing occurs to someone online.
The picture or video doesn't get deleted in shock and horror is but held as evidence.
The offender is reported to the officials of the website.
The offender is reported to the police.
The offender is publicly announced on the site and on as many places as possible on the web with an accompanying photo.
The offender is banned from any website of which he is a member.
This fortunately hasn't happened to me, but it has happened to some women that I know, and I was appalled at their stories. We have to help each other. We have to hope that we can somehow help to deter these deviants from abusing other women in such a way.
Yes, I regard it as abuse. It's demeaning, it's invasive, it's disrespectful, it's sick.
I would appreciate any input and thoughts on this topic. I will also hold in confidence anything I'm asked to that is shared with me.
Share it! — Rate it: up down [flag this hub]
Comments
First of all, I’d like to say that I disapprove of this behaviour. You just don’t show your private parts to someone unexpectedly.
I’ve been co-admin on a dating community for quite some time and I know that (especially) men can be intimidating, not only in graph. Sending a first e-mail without former introduction saying “would you like to see my 9” tool” are not uncommon, I’m afraid.
Having said this, I do think you’re proposal is too tough. Surely we should not tolerate this behaviour. You can report them to the police. I don’t know to what extent prosecution is feasible. As far as access to the internet however, I don’t think it is proportional to deny them access to any website of which they’re a member. Banning them from the site where they violated the rule should be sufficient.
If I verbally offend a woman in a bar or show indecent behaviour, then I can understand that this bar will throw me out. But if there’s no legal verdict that prohibits me to ever go to any bar then I should be offered the pooprtunity (in other bars) to show I’ve learned from my mistake, shouldn’t I?
Ananta...first, thank you very much for your honest opinion and interesting input. You make a valid point. For one thing, I don't really think that such a thing as someone's memberships on several websites could realistically be monitored, so I should have given that item more thought and worded it better. I would like to respond with a point of my own, and I'm afraid it will sound harsh, but the harshness is not intended for you. You have a right to your opinion and I appreciate and welcome your expression of it. I don't know how other countries, such as yours, deal with sex offenders. Here, if they are found guilty their information is added to a registry. When they are released, they are expected to register anytime they relocate. This registry is public so that anyone in any neighborhood will know what offenders are living near them. At the very least, I don't find it unreasonable that, when possible, any known online offender be tagged in some way when joining a reputable website so that others will know he's in "the neighborhood". I would rather see him rejected. The person who inspired this article as well as my piece, The Predator, is one in the same and is getting by with it and will do more. I know some of the women he has used...or misused, and I feel no compulsion or obligation to be fair to him or others of his kind. I'm not a mean or unfair person. I just want to help others avoid such an experience if I can. I welcome any further thoughts about it.
Jill, I understand your emotion. And I realize that every attempt to make a distinction in the punishment of these men can be interpreted as an attempt to defend them, which I absolutely don’t.Thing is, I believe in second chances (and third in many occasions). A violator should not be marked for the rest of his/her life. Whether it concerns real life or the virtual life that is the internet. There has to be balance. And in my opinion showing a picture of one’s private parts is something quite different than intimidating a woman in person. I wouldn’t go as far as to say: “It’s only a computer screen”, mind you. That’s why I would suggest to ban such a person from the site where he displayed his indecent behavior. And if he repeatedly harasses women on the internet, then den him access to any online community. (I realize that it requires a registry and I also realize that this will be very hard to implement).
working
colettehope says:
5 months ago
You are so correct about this. There are too many internet predators out there that need to be reported. In essence if someone walked out on the street and exposed themselves in public, red lights would be flashing. How is this any different?