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Out and about and in urgent need of libation or lubrication of an alcoholic nature. I've seen instructions to get the evening flowing using hammers, coat-hangers, bicycle hooks and paper clips, but what psycho carries those around with him when he's out for a night on the town,

This guy uses his shoe! You can debate whether he actually needs more wine but you can't argue with the results.

Well you do also need a vertical surface - a wall, a door or even a tree. Put the bottom of the bottle in the shoe, swing the bottle horizontally and start whacking it sharply against the wall. When the bottle hits the wall the momentum is transferred to the wine which strikes the cork gradually nosing it out of the bottle. The shoe just prevents the bottle from shattering, You can even use a sweatshirt or newspaper instead of a shoe. Once the cork pokes out of the bottle you can grab it with your teeth and just twist.

For the connoisseurs worried about the integrity of the wine - this does add a lot of air. In the shape he's in, I doubt he'll notice.