Lately there seems to have been a bit of an issue here on Hubpages, concerning the opinions of people. Some people have put up certain hubs that have been accused of being biased, and those of us who are biased against the biased have raised what could be termed a bit of a hue and cry. While I agree that Hubpages should on no account be used to spread hatred, be it religious, racial, or because somebody's hub just won out on yours by one point, I also think Hubpages is indeed a very good platform to air one's opinions.

Bear in mind, I am not one of the world's most opinionated people. In fact, I am probably one of the world's least opinionated people. Sure, I have opinions, but along will come somebody with good oratory skills and a passable sense of humour, and I will convert completely to their school of thought (currently, I'm a follower of Seinfeldism. Find me someone with better oratory skills AND a better sense of humour, and I'll be their newest disciple, but I assure you, topping Jerry Seinfeld will be a hard act to follow). So my opinions are not the most fixed things in this universe. I do, however, have a few very strong beliefs, and now, I'm going to write a hub on them, because, (a). I need to write more hubs to increase my hubscore, and yes, I care. And, (b). I have nothing better to write a hub on, being a stupid kid who has no useful knowledge to impart, and is too lazy to get on with her Statement of Purpose.

Therefore, here is a short list of the few fixed opinions I have (I was going to type ‘exhaustive list' but then I realized I have absolutely no idea what exhaustive means. If you do, fill me in):

Opinion One: Crocs should be banned. Yes, I'm talking about the crazy shoe/slipper hybrid that claims to look like a reptile, but actually looks more like a bit of wayward plastic masquerading as one. Guess what? That's what it is! Why? Why would anybody who cares even remotely about their appearance wear a piece of wayward plastic pretending to look like Wally Gator on their feet? (Of course, if you don't care even remotely about your appearance, go right ahead. I have no argument against that. Except, warn me, so I can shield my eyes as I walk warily past you, and perhaps take an anti-allergy medicine just in case it causes me to break out in hives).

Opinion Two: I love chocolate. I LOVE CHOCOLATE. I don't care if it makes me fat. I don't care if it gives me diabetes, or heart disease, or hepatitis, or pain in the earlobes. I maintain that chocolate makes me happier, and more relaxed, and smarter, and funnier (did I ever mention that I was going to be rational on this hub? No, I did not). Maybe I'm addicted (*resists the urge to wail ‘I'm outta control'*) but I cannot live with the idea that chocolate is going to kill me if I have too much of it. It wouldn't betray me like that. No.

Opinion Three: I believe that Aliens exist. I believe that they came down on earth se-he-he-he-veral centuries ago, and the humans who were around at that point worshipped them, and idolized them, and made statues of them which they put up on pedestals (another theory is that these Aliens got chanted at so much that they ordered the not-so-bright humans to build statues of them, and chant at those, instead). Eventually the Aliens got sick of us and went find a planet inhabited by people who talked a lot less and did a lot more, but we, being what we are, continued to chant. (For more on this theory, written in a less irreverent and more convincing way, photographs and all, read Chariots of the Gods? by Erich von Daniken.)

Opinion Four: Black is slimming. I know, I know, silver is the new black, and I hear ya, but you know what? Black is slimming! Put on a nice, flowy black dress, with an empire waist and pleats in front. And then wear a pair of black stilettos. THEN you can play around with some silver, a bracelet, maybe, and eyeshadow. And then look at yourself in the mirror. Next morning, you're definitely going to have to make an appointment at the shrinks, because you'll have fallen in love with yourself, and I'm guessing it's not that easy to get a marriage license when you want to wed the wonderfulness that is you. And think of the wedding vows! Holy crap. Black is THE most slimming, beautifying colour available.

Opinion Five: TV is essential. For what, you ask. Or, more likely, you don't ask, having given up arguing after reading all that I have written prior to this. It's useless to argue with this girl, you say. She's in a dimension of her own. Well, I'm going to answer the question anyway. TV is essential for everything. Fashion, you need TV. Current affairs, you need TV. Sports, you need TV. Entertainment, hmmm, let's see... YOU NEED TV! If there wasn't any TV, I assure you, I would never know the time. Speaking of which, holy crap! Time for a rerun of Friends, and then a rerun of Seinfeld! I will catch you later.

Ok, guess what. I decided that the primary advantage in owning a laptop is that you can carry it around, so I brought it with me to the TV room. And now it's the commercial, so, on with the hub.

Yeah, so these are a few of my fixed opinions. Of course, I have some more, but them I think I'll keep to myself. I'm not really in the mood to have effigies of me burnt just yet. Maybe in a few years, eh? So for now, these are it. Feel free to agree, disagree, laugh, or try to sell me toner. Your call. Comments are always appreciated. I'm in the mood for flames, so if you want to send me some of those, it'd be cool. It'd be fun, I've never got flamed before (unless I have, and I didn't understand that that's what it was. In which case, apologies. I will be duly offended the next time, I swear.)

Well, seeya. Hope you enjoyed the waste of time that was this hub! And three cheers for opinions! May they all be controversial, AND meaningless in the big scheme of things! Much love.