Oppositional Defiant Disorder and our kids
77Well, I am the mother of a seven year old girl who was diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder when she was 6. I'm not sure, still, exactly what defines ODD. I only know what brought about me taking her to get help. My daughter is a strong-willed and very intelligent young lady. She likes things to go her way and usually not much stands in her way when trying to get them. She has punched holes in walls, she has broken light fixtures by throwing things, she kicks, punches and screams to the top of her lungs to get her point across. The fact of the matter is, I just didn't know the right way to deal with her behavior. We tried groundings from the things she enjoys. That didn't work. We would just add days on top of days of grounding and we never stuck to it. It was explained to me in a session with her psychologist, punishments for negative behaviors need to be immediate and firm. It was also put to us like this, It's like the straw that broke the camel's back. When we notice a negative feeling, we should not show another negative feeling in return. We should do our best to create a positive environment. One negative feeling on top of another just adds up until someone explodes with anger. That is when holes end up in walls and feelings get hurt. Now, we deal with my daughter differently and so far it has been successful when we stick with what we know. When she is not getting her way and begins to be upset. I get down on her level, explain the situation and why she can't have her way at that time and we compromise on a solution. Sometimes this means I have to give in a little, but I will have to admit, I am a little stubborn at times too. To have some peace and happiness in our everyday lives, a little compromise is a small price to pay. We still have our days and moments when things aren't always rainbows and lollipops, but overall a little patience and a lot of consistency has done the trick.
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This was helpful to me - now I am wondering if this may be what I am dealing with in my four year old. She seems to be immune to normal discipline. She is certainly explosive! Thanks for sharing this. :)
bravo.... it's hell... absolute HELL. My step daughter has ODD. I definitely appreciate your openness in writing this article. I'll be forwarding it on to my wife so that she can read more. back in the day this was referred to as anger disorder and they used to pump kid full of ridilin. today there are new and advanced meds. we just began a medication program of Concerta so if you have any knowledge or insight about it please let us know. again, thanks for writing this informative and important article.
Thanks for the comment R. Martin Basso. In response, I don't know much about any medicine for ODD. However, our psychologist has told us that medications only hide the symptoms and when they are discontinued, usually are worse than they were when they began.
Hello,
My 7 year old daughter has always been very stubborn and difficult. She is getting more difficult as each day goes by. She does not like the word no, and it will spiral her into a raging tantrum that can last up to 3 hours. She kicks me, hits me, grabs my leg, punches holes in the wall, breaks things, while screaming at the top of her lungs. she is completely out of control. When the tantrum is over she act sweet and wants a hug and acts as though nothing happened. When she is not throwing a tantrum she is sweet, kind thoughtful little girl who works hard in school. She does not have any behaviour problems at school. She has lots of friends and it seems that the other kids really like her. She sees a therapist who really is not helping. Oppositional defient disorder has been mentioned, but nothing definitive. I don't know which way to turn. I don't know how to parent her and it breaks my heart to see her under so much distress, it is also very depressing to live with the outburst which affects everyone in the family. Any advise would be appreciated.
Nice to finally meet you, feeweewv! You have something in common with a fellow hubber, Enelle Lamb. You both share some of the same burdens, and might benefit from connecting ;)
Lots of good reads here - I'll be back.
Would be glad to connect with a fellow hubber that shares some of my burdens. Thanks for dropping by RedElf
Bailey Michele says:
17 months ago
You're not alone in that battle!! My 10 year old daughter was given that diagnosis a couple of years ago. Sounds like you are making good progress though.
One of our psychologist suggest the book The Explosive Child by Ross W. Green. It has been an incredible help!! I've also read How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish, which was a good book as well.
I think the best advice I've taken away from all my reading has been that traditional parenting tactics don't work. The children don't react to it the word "no" and the consequence of displine the same as most children. You find what works to difuse the explosion and run with it. You quit worry about all the "great advice" other parents are giving you, because they of course know better how to parent your child than you!!