The Chief
59
Momma And The Chief Of Police
Quiet, serenity. Sweet slumber, nestled in a hammock pushed by warm summer breezes. Rocking, pushing, rocking faster, faster. The sensation turns to words, the words begin to echo in my ears. "Harder"? "Faster"? "Yes, yes"? "I said to pull out!" Awake! The trailer is rocking on it's axles the words echoing are those of momma working out in the back bedroom. The Chief of police has parked his car out back again and is working the kinks out of momma's back. He shows up every twenty eight days or so for his kink session with momma and I perform my probationary duties of waxing his car and keeping my mouth shut. I happened to over sleep a bit today and therefore got to hear the weird noises and phrases that go into a back rub. The chief is multi talented, I guess that is why he is also the mayor.
Chief Of Police
The Chief
Tom Rubenoff is the current mayor, chief and lord of our small town and has been for, well since I was conceived I guess. He has been around so long that many of the children born to the confines of the trailer park have adapted his physical features and even his dumb ass laugh. For some odd reason when i was around twenty six years old he proclaimed to the trailer park community that not only was he STD free he was now sterile and even posted the fact in the local laundromat with his phone number and picture. His proclamation was directed toward womans and especially my momma. Tom was up for re-election and needed to clear his name, but he will never be free of his nick name! "Rub-enough" has been the brunt of our snickering for years. All of us kids have laughed in unison, ironically and eerily in the same as gurgle snort laugh that Tom does bellers out. Come to think of it my nose even looks the same as Tom's. Tom is amazing in the way he influences us all, from laugh to hair color to a lazy right eye. We all have come to be a little like Tom in some way shape or form.
It is really too bad that Tom never married and had kids of his own. I am sure they would look a lot like him just the same as most of us trailer park kids do.
Trailer Park Studs
Tom is awesome and has always been a great guy for all of us in the park. He is a bit off at times for instance, he always has referred to me as junior, especially when washing my back and rubbing my feet. Every Father's day Tom really gets weird. He usually picks me up for distributing Meth or simple manufacturing of meth. I then get to spend the evening in his jail cell with about seventeen other of my peers while Tom gets loaded on pine cone liquor and watches Ron Jeremy videos. Did you all know that Ron is a porn star? Is he ever!!!! I did not know that Jewish Men had penises. Growing up I have heard momma repeatedly say "that no d*ck mother fuzzbin couldn't pay! Franko Harrison Jew!" I would say that Ron Jeremy is more than able to pay and by Tom's reaction I would say that he agrees as well.
The jail cell is a bit off as well. I don't mind the tight cuffs, the Ron Jeremy films or the shaved heads, I appreciate filming everything for our protection, but the nipple clamps, spankings and ball gags are a bit much. Tom has an elaborate jail but why is it connected to his triple wide trailer?I guess the county cant afford housing for such a crowd at the father's day holiday. I am a bit ungrateful for Tom's service to the community by offering his own home as a detention facility, so I should keep my yap shut just like Tom demands.
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Comments
Apparently you are the only one. Now you and Tom live in my neck of the woods.
At last, now I have it all.
You are a goof ball...a nice one though LOL...G-Ma :o) :o) Hugs
Tom I have been looking for a character for you...Now you have it! I mean I have it. I am honored to ad you to my clan. Just leave the Toads alone four doors down!
G-ma you may be next!
I am speechless. I mean speechless.
Tom, I know! I mean you are nailin my momma! Otherwise no need to be speechless.
thank you for the great laugh this morning, Pest. :)
LOL Hubville sure sounds a nice place, alright! With Tom as your chief of police, your trailer park is safe - at least when he's not ironing out the kinks on momma's back! :D
Kinky, Tom! Tell me Pest, does Tom have a son? Would sure like to meet him!
I'm thinkin' Mayor Tom has a lot of sons by the sounds of it. Hysterical. Tom, you are now a superstar. You've made hystory (and a lot of other things lol). Great story, Pest.
Another great tale from the trailor park. I love that bit about
"I appreciate filming everything for our protection, but the nipple clamps, spankings and ball gags are a bit much. Tom has an elaborate jail but why is it connected to his triple wide trailer?"
*sob* This is one of the nicest things anyone ever did for me. *choke* *gasp*
Oh No Tom you need your back rubbed now??? Hee hee
LMAO Tom is mayor, and into Meth, aha, I knew there was more to him than meets the eye. Oh and what little stud muffins those other guys are,my home town needs more of them. I also never knew your Momma looked so good woooooooo hoooooooooo
Sheena you are more than welcome!
Cindy, I don't believe Tom has any kids what-so-ever.
Tom I am just trying to avoid another Father's day in jail. Thought this may find favor with you.
Bp, those guys are hot, if I could only be THAT sexy. Momma is a hottie, amazing what tha bra does for her elongated boobs.
Of course you have found favor with The Chief. But are you trying to tell me - now remember, you're talking to me now - that you have not enjoyed Father's Day? Is that what you are trying to say... to me?
Tom! ** kicks dirt floor coyly ** well, alright you got me there. Maybe you could just spend the day with my momma? She is favorable as well?
Can you have a talk with Tom for me Pest, tell him to let me keep my plants, I ain't hurtin no one.
Toad, momma has your plants now. She told Tome those were her seeds then took him into the back bedroom to show him proof in order to secure the safe return of the plants.
LOL....Great Pest! Does Tom take Momma rides on his bike? :)
I done told yo' momma I would get her the money, damn! Can I get some credit anywhere besides Sears?
Toad, maybe you could barter with that sears credit. We need a new cart to tow behind the lawn tractor. I am tired of riding tandem with momma.
Tom! great to see you. Momma rides Tom around on his bike at his request.
An entire day with momma. Excuse me, I got to go to the gym.
I wanna ride...:O) Hugs
Can I get you a cart from the grocery store?
Tom, an entire day with momma pays the rent! You also spelled Jim wrong.
G-Ma! i can give you a ride on my rider!
Maybe. Can you get the rope that ties the line of carts together? Momma keeps using my ropes for her modeling.
I'll see about that, no promises on that, as those are hard to come by, like the good carts
"Spelled Jim wrong." That's it. Round 'em up. Get the ball gags, deputy. Father's Day's comin' early this year.
Tom! I am sorry you can't spell, no need to turn up the voltage to the nipple clamps though dammit!
That reminds me. Get to Sears and get me a new Die Hard. I want no shortage of amps.
Are u sure that your momma, LMAO, or you been making movies on the side..............with her
Tom, you think you could pick up some regular dog collars? Those choke point collars hurt like hell.
BP, That is my momma I swear! She cleans up nicely for craigslist photo advertisements. The above pitcher was for Frod Motor company selling Escorts.
A dweeb LMAO I a not a understando your lingo haha
pest can u test to see if you can make a comment on my new story I think something is wrong seriously...am stressing...I wrote the Hub full on Midori last night...maybe I clicked something I should not have
pest calling pest to base come in roger over and out
Everyone leaves at such a crucial stage aghhhhhhhh
I have been so busy proving myself to be unhomo in the forums...I am on my way BP I promise. You get my email???????
What?! Pest a Homo?!
LOL, I believe I had witness you being unhomo with you-know-who.
haha are you on the Forums I should check this out LMAO, no mail no..:(
May!!! Now I ma the one who is blessed! I love to see you reding my junk!
BP! I have been in the forums...Dear HP forums: "I entered the HP forums and Pest was there. a dream come true" I did send you a msg!!!
Behave! Kids nowadays.
I always do Tom, ok it's a lie...............I don't....I was actually about to tell you the same thing LMAO
Damn if I suddenly disappear I have guests grr
All right. All of you in the trailer. NOW.
I forgot what I really was suppose to comment about!?
Anyway, if Tom's the chief then what will that make us for Hubville?
We need a bum, cop, firefighter, doctor, nurse, preacher, vet etc...or nevermind, I can already see it as a bad idea!
May! You are suppose to let everyone know how great i am in th sack, to avoid the gay theory for me.
Tom! You must bring Bp In at fathers day!!!!
On me way, Hi Ho Hi Ho it's off to Pests I go dum dee dum daa Hi Ho Hi Ho.. you want me to pick up some takeaways on the way Pest for tea...
Pest is straight
Happy now?
Well I hope he aint crooked ...
LOL, I was waiting for that. Maybe he was waiting for that line I always tell him. Pest you are too much or something. Or the Legendary Pest, at it again...
lol
Pest why did you get Cindy to pull your super hero Avatar it was gorgeous. Boo hoo. Now I can't fight crime with you
Cindy pulled Pest's what?
I pulled his superhero avatar? I know nothing about that?
Geez May you weren't too convincing! :)
BP! My door is open! Cindy pulled my what???
Tom i want to report an unauthorized yanking!
pest nothing you do suprises me anymore! Loved it! LOL~ jj
Cindy pulled yours Pest didn't you know. I thought you wanted it pulled...
...La Thanks, **wink**
BP! I want a couple of things pulled, but to no avail as of yet!
hahaha can I give you a hand. Oh God I need to have an early night I think as I just checked and she didn't pull you after all. I am sorry to get your hopes up like that LMAO
Now i am standing all alone! :( LOL
oh boy I made a huge mess LMAO come here for a tic and I tell you what happened lol http://www.chatmaker.net/chatap/rooms/blondepoet/
I am trying...wont let me log in. :(
still have no idea what BP is talking about, I pulled nothing
Now I'm more excited than ever about the Hub Pages clan gathering at Pest's trailer park next year. I love a man in a uniform! Sure hope Tom gets re-elected mayor again.
MM...Tom doesnt get re-elected, He gets what he wants.
Hey Pest, you ain't talking to me anymore!!!!!!!!! I'll have to hang out with the chief now.
Oh, I see. So that's how it is. Do you think he might want to take a little break from Momma an have a go at the kinks in my back?
he is so rude Cindy here I will have a word to him for u.........Cough cough pest talk to Cindy or I will deck u ...ooo I am agressive
I have heard he is a good masseur MM, u must try him
have such a migraine, need some kind of a neck massage
oooh and I have terrible pain at the base of my back ohhhh the pain need a massage too, I can barely stand
so momma looks like that? lololol she is purdy, and who are the peers that you picked? mmmmmm ..... looks like you have been digging in the bins again, naughty naughty pest. lololo
And AE her feet are aching too
Now that makes four of us in a line, let's now draw straws ladies. heyyyyyyy how did he end up as a massuer anyway LMAO
Cindy, I am still trying to recover from your suasage avatar and the "imprint" it left on my psyche!
MM, you will have to askthe chief. Seems as tho he is planning for fathers day already. Good luck!
BP, that would be a pain in your ass? :) that is what is located at the base of your back.
AE, you are all sick. My momma is appalling, plus she IS my momma! Yuck!
Pest oh yes that is what it is called, I got it from riding one of Tom's pushbikes,on a man's seat, I have spent all night trying to walk with my legs closer together, and people have been calling me Tonto.
Wait! Did somebody say, "Have a go?"
have a go at what Tom....ten pin bowling, hockey,knitting,who you talking to LMAO
Omg look at that pic of Tom his mouth seems to be all distorted my god
Looks a lot like some of the pictures of the kids from the park I posted...say? You don't think Tom could be a daddy after all? Nahhhhhhhh!
That pic of Tom when his mouth was hanging open, my friend's blow up doll Nora had a mouth the same, it was scary.
We all know that Nora is your alter ego, BP
Hahaha noooooooo Cindy I aint a blow up doll. Oooo she is just saying that cos I called her a tiger lol
BP is definately NOT a blow up doll! ;)
No definitely not see her pic on the forum about real pictures for atavars! Posted by Eric no less!
ROFLMAO!!! Love the mmma stories, Pest.
Pest you are really something...I love how the children of the trailer park adapted to the police chiefs physical features and boy were those trailer park studs....interesting.
Pest, I see your future as campaign manager for Toms tilt at the whitehouse!
Move over Obama!!!
Think Momma wants the job as intern?
goldentoad says:
7 months ago
god damn you I needed that.