Oprah's segment about "defensive pessimism" seems like it would cause more harm than good if exercised on a regular basis.

When I became an adult, I quickly realized the consequences of letting "things go" too easily. Planning and preparation was key in being perpared for what life was throwing at me. In addition to excessive preparation for everything, I began to prepare my mind too. This is the idea around defensive pessimism.

According to Oprah.com, 30-30% of Americans use defensive pessimism to help ease stress. Defensive pessimism asks that you prepare your mind to expect the worst for each little problem that may or may not happen. To play out scenarios in your head to solve each avenue's problem ahead of time. By finding solutions to each possible problem that could happen, you are preparing yourself for every outcome so that you are not surprised (immediate stress) when the unexpected happens. Defensive pessimism asks that the "worst possible outcome" be considered.

Through personal experience, I find this method of coping with stress a stressor in itself.

I would stay awake each night thinking of all the possible outcomes of everything! How would I call 911 if I was alone and choking? What if my child broke away fro my grasp and ran across a busy street? What decision would I make if I was on a hijacked plane...take over the cockpit and crash the plane like the heros on 9-11?

Too many things to worry about. There needs to be some surprises in life. Some of the greatest feats of heroism were conjured up in a moments notice, relying on instincts. Mulling over every possible pessimistic conclusion will drive you nuts before you are able to experience the problems. We need to trust that we will act consciously and appropriately to situations as they arise. Be prepared but trust that your instincts will carry you through unexpected events.

Similarly, I find that parents are excessively worried about their teenagers' well being. If parents are confident in how they raised their children, be confident in their decisions in situations you cannot control. Virtually locking your children up in the house, as my parents did to my sister and I, will cause anxiety and rebellion in their early adult lives. Don't make your children find their own way when they cannot afford to make mistakes (like when they move out of the house). I made quite a few stupid mistakes during early adulthood without the safety net of my parents. My friends had made these same mistakes during high school when they had the support of their parents. I envy how well adjusted and successful my friends are.

Be Prepared and trust your instincts and morals. You'll do great!