Twenty-six months ago I wrote an article titled Twenty Lessons I have Learned I said then that I was smack dab in the middle of Middle Age. I felt obligated to pass on those time tested truisms to anyone and everyone. I asked my readers to feel free to test them out. Unfortunately no one was willing to help me out so I have to assume that my readers were willing to take my word for it. Now I find myself deeper in the bog of Middle Age and seeing the old age clearing not far away. As my youth is beginning to seem a lot further away I decided to look through the attic of my mind and to my surprise I have made a fascinating discovery. I found that I have twenty-one more life’s lessons to share. As I wrote twenty-six months ago, that those lessons were proven by me. I too have proved these. I suggested then and suggest now that if you should feel the need to test them out let me know I could use a good laugh.

                                                       21 Truisms

1) Never put your keys near the holes in electrical outlets. It’s not worth the pain and your hair will never be the same.

2) Before going out on a limb make sure there isn’t anyone between you and the tree trunk with a chain saw.

3) Never say never because when you do never stops being never and becomes soon.

4) Can’t & won’t are four letter words and mean the same thing.

5) When a mother says, “Go ask your father” and a father says, “Go ask your mother” it means no. It doesn’t matter how much you ask and even if you are thirty years old when you ask them.

6) Conversely “We’ll keep it in mind” means it ain’t going to happen.

7) When a parent asks their child if they don’t have something better to do. It means the parent does.

8) When someone asks “May I see you for a minute?” The answer should be no. If they ask you that question you’ll be lucky if they see you for less than thirty minutes.

9) If a police officer asks if you know how fast you were going, it’s a guarantee that he does.

10) If someone says, “I hate to bother you,” they don’t.

11) Conversely if someone says, “I don’t mean to trouble you” they do.

12) It’s never a good idea when a sales clerk asks, “Can I help you” to answer, “I give up can you?”

13) It is also not a good idea to answer, “What are you a doctor?” when a sales clerk asks if they can help you.

14) When life gives you lemons, it may not be such a good idea to make lemonade. What if you don’t like lemonade?

15) In the south sweet tea is not iced tea with a little sugar mixed in. It’s sugar with a little tea mixed in.

16) When someone says, “In time you will look back at this & laugh.” Keep in mind you might not.

17) When someone says, “Search Me,” they do not mean that literally.

18) Conversely when someone says, “the fog is thick as pea soup,” It may not be as thick as pea soup often times it’s much thicker than that.

19) When someone says, “you can cut the tension with a knife,” don’t try to.

20) When someone says “It won’t cost you anything if you just listen.” It will, a lot.

21) When a Dad says, “Don’t let me catch you doing that again.” He isn’t giving you a license to do it out of his sight.