Right off, let me say that I'm not a psychologist or expert on glossophobia, which is the clinically diagnosed fear of speaking in public. What I am is somebody who was once extraordinarily shy but has conquered her fear of public speaking and can now speak in public with a minimum, or even an absence, of anxiety. I previously offered tips to help an anxious person deal with his or her fear of public speech in my article on how to speak confidently in public. This article is in answer to a reader who asked for more tips, since the last ones didn't work for her. I realized that I'd left out the most important tip--and that's what is covered here.

Note that different people have different reasons for being afraid of public speaking. The reasons I've seen most often in myself, my friends, my work colleagues and my acquaintances involve self-consciousness and the fear of looking foolish or of messing up while giving a public presentation or speech or leading or facilitating a discussion. These tips are designed around helping people overcome this kind of fear. I hope they help you. If not, please consult a professional to help you overcome a fear that could hold back your career...or just make you feel awful.

Dealing with anxiety is only part of the solution to overcoming your fear of public speaking. The real solution can only be gotten from effective practice. That's right, the answer is to face your fears by practicing speaking in front of others in the most effective way.

Why is this so essential? Think about a surgeon, who can't become a good--or confident--surgeon without actually doing surgery, over and over and over. Theoretical knowledge is one thing. But practical knowlege is another. There's literally no replacement, no hypnotism, no therapy, that will ease your fear of public speaking without your taking the essential step of facing your fears and going through the motions of what you're afraid of, over and over and over. Which means giving a public speech again and again and again.

Not just any public speaking practice will do. I am most definitely not a psychologist, but I am an anxious sort of person, and I do know how to deal with anxiety in my own life. I believe that dealing with anxiety about public speaking is similar to dealing with any type of anxiety. You do not just run out and give speeches and presentations right and left to get over your fear--not unless you want to end up curled up in a ball of anxiety and depression. You use three strategies to ease your way into learning to speak confidently in public:

1. Go from easy to hard.
2. Don't make it worse by going too fast.
3. Be brave.
   

These sound simple, but they mean that you need certain essential skills.

You need patience, because this will take some time, and facing your fears too fast could backfire.

You need courage, because facing a fear of public speaking takes extraordinary courage. After all, dread of speaking in public is the fear of not just embarrassing yourself, but of lowering your status in society, of being stripped of your carefully constructed identity and reduced to a vulnerable being that's as good as naked.

Many people with public speaking phobias seem to be well-controlled people who appear quite calm and who you'd never imagine would have trouble dealing with nervousness when giving a speech. Yet these very people can fear the unpredictable nature of public speaking because addressing people in a public venue could threaten the control they have over their lives.

I'm hoping these eight steps help you learn to practice public speaking. I want you to be able to overcome your fear and learn to do the presentations, lead the meetings, address the crowds, and give the impromptu speeches that you find yourself called on to do, as I did. Because I suspect that, like me, you could actually learn to enjoy it, and that it could increase your confidence in yourself tenfold.

The eight steps of practicing start with easy baby steps and move you up gradually to the really challenging stuff.

To prepare, you need to start with a prepared speech.

• Write a speech or give yourself a topic on which to do extemporaneous speaking. The speech should be a serious speech on a professional topic rather than on a frivolous or bogus subject--unless your business happens to be comedy. Choose a realistic topic such as you'd have to do in a professional capacity. You may find you want to write more than one speech as time goes on. That's fine. Use as many different speeches as you feel comfortable with.
  
• Perform the following eight steps. Until your fear of each step disappears, don't move to the next step. Perform each step over and over until you no longer fear it. Don't skip any steps. Finishing the program may take you weeks or months. That's OK. As long as you haven't moved forward until you've conquered your fear of the previous step, then once you reach the last step, your fear of public speaking should be much diminished, if it remains at all.
  

1. Practice in front of a mirror and record your speech so you can listen to it later. In a way, you're your own harshest critic...but you're also your easiest audience. Practice in front of a mirror. Listen to how the recording sounds. Don't worry about improving your technique or about how silly you sound. Do this over and over until you no longer are nervous about speaking to an audience of one--yourself.
   
2. Practice in front of a family member you're intimately close to. Choose a spouse, a parent, a child, or anybody as close to you as a family member could be. The only requirement is that you trust them and that they have patience. Then present your speech...and again at the next opportunity...and again...until you're no longer nervous. Then give it one more time to be sure. You may or may not ask for feedback...whatever you're comfortable with.
   
3. Practice in front of one friend with whom you're comfortable. Choose one friend you'd trust to watch your dog if you were out of town. Now practice in front of him or her. And do it again. Keep giving your speech. Once you no longer feel trepidation at the thought of speaking in "public" to one friend, then you can move onto the next step.
   
4. Practice in front of a small group of 2 to 3 friends with whom you're comfortable. You may expect that this won't be harder than the previous step, but it is, oh, it is, even if they're your best friends. Something about making a presentation to a group makes almost anybody feel self-conscious. Your friends won't be able to resist giving you feedback. Take the advice or leave it. Don't worry about perfecting your speech, though. Your goal is to conquer your fear of public speaking, not to become the perfect speech giver.
   
5. Practice in front of a group of 5 to 10 friends. These shouldn't all be friends you're very close to. Pick some who are just friendly acquaintances. You'll mess up. But keep at it. Again and again. They don't have to all be the same group of friends each time.
   
6. Take a community college public speaking class. Now you're ready to start speaking publicly in front of others who are in the same boat as you--at least, some of them. Public speaking classes offered by local colleges are where many people with anxiety about giving presentations of any sort tend to congregate. Aside from the speech-giving techniques you'll learn, you'll have a chance to speak in front of your peers--without the fear of destroying your career or your image. Expect some of these people to disagree with the points you make in your speech. This is a good thing. Before you can overcome a public speaking fear, you'll have to learn to accustom yourself to handling people who challenge your ideas. What if, after the class is over, you still are afraid of speaking in front of these people? Simply take the class again, or take another class at another college. Keep at it until you're no longer afraid of speaking in public in a class setting that's focused on oral communications.
   
7. Practice in front of a group of children in the range of ages from 7 to 11. For this step, write a new speech designed to be of interest to middle-grade kids. Kids are, so I'm told--by my husband, no less, who has a bit more public speaking experience than I do--one of the toughest audiences there is. He says, and I quote, "The absolute worst audience is unequivocally a troop of Cub scouts." Getting restless, active kids to focus on you for longer than few minutes is hard enough. But when they do focus their owl eyes on you, you'll be challenged to distract yourself enough to calm down and focus on the speech. That's OK. Practice. Keep practicing, until you can speak calmly enough to keep their attention. Don't perform the same speech in front of the same group of kids, though. Kids get bored extra-fast. If you can't vary the kids, vary the speech.
   
8. Practice in front of a group of kids in the range of ages from 12 to 18. This may be the ultimate tough audience. Junior high and high-school age kids tend to be so self-conscious that they'll make you feel twice as self-conscious as normal. At this point, you can handle it. You can handle the kids falling asleep. You can handle someone laughing at you. If you can't find a lot of kids, try to get just one or two to be your audience.
   

That's it. If you've made it to this point, then public speaking in a professional setting may not be easy...but it will be a lot easier than it was. You've given more speeches than you can count. By this time, you've had audience members fall asleep...ignore you...focus on you completely...disagree with you...challenge every word...put you on the spot. Not because you're a bad speaker, but because the more you do public speaking, the more these things happen. They're not in your control.

If you have tried all these things and still have trouble, I advise you to get professional help from a psychologist or therapist trained in helping people with a public speaking phobia--especially if your profession involves public speaking and you can't get away from it. And contacting a professional doesn't mean you're a "failure" or a "hard case"--just that the solution offered here isn't one that fully addressed your particular issues with public speaking.

Good luck!