Overweight and Obesity are NOT your fault

Yes you read that right. Truly, it is not your fault. Contrary to what most people think it is not your fault. That is people on both sides of the fence. Just about all thin people say it is the overweight persons fault, no surprise there. But even most overweight people believe it is their fault - not so. This article is part of a series of articles that will explain not only why it is not your fault, but why many of the "reasons" we think are the cause are in fact not the real causes of overweight.

Before we get into the real cause, let's list some of the most common things that we have been taught are the reasons we suffer from excess weight gain but in fact do not cause overweight or obesity:

• Laziness
• Lack of Character
• No Exercise
• Junk Food
• Fast Food
• Processed Food
• Sugar
• Starch
• Metabolism
• Thyroid
• Genetics
• Life Style
• Bad Habits
• Emotional Eating ??? Yes even emotional eating

Yikes, what is left?

Yes, I can hear some of you right now arguing that you KNOW that it is your metabolism, or that you don't get enough exercise, or that it is the junk/processed/fast food in the American diet. Well for the sake of argument please just agree for the moment that you can put your belief in a special safe keeping place. A place where you can bring it back out untarnished at any time you wish. Just put it there and for the sake of learning something completely new, keep an open mind.

Over the course of this series of articles I will show you why each of these are not the real reason for excess weight gain. Of course some of these things have some additional modest input, but they are not the real cause. Today we'll look at what is the real cause and why it is not your fault.

The list above is long but the one place that has not been looked at is Compulsive Eating. Yes, compulsive eating and that is not your fault. Please bear with me on this. Being a compulsive eater does not sound very nice. But once you really understand what that means you will agree that it explains a great deal and it is truly not your fault.

So let's take our discussion out of the emotionally loaded issue of compulsive eating, and look at a much more innocent compulsion that most Americans share as a way to explain the process. Then we will tie it back to eating. OK? That innocent compulsion is your daily shower.

How long can you go without feeling the need to shower? One day, two days, perhaps three days... Are you a two shower a day gal? It doesn't matter if you are two a day or a two day person. What matters is how would you feel if you could not have your regular shower for and extended time? Let's say, you could not shower for 10 days. How would you feel after the second day? How about after day five or six?

Why? Why do you feel so bad? Having asked this question of hundreds of people I can tell you the most common reason is "I stink!" Yuckaboo! Bugs in my hair... When in "polite" company the answer is "We don't want to offend." Occasionally I get comments about hygiene and health.

Now I'm going to tell you these are not the real reason. Sure it feels like very real, but it is not. The real reason is: You have a shower compulsion.

This is how my daily shower compulsion was developed. When I was a little one, my mom would put me in the bathtub every evening. While I splashed around having a good time she washed my dirty little face, and hair. We chatted and played then she helped me out of the tub to dry me off with a big fluffy towel. I usually got a hug and was told "you smell so good." That happened every day from as early as I can remember until I could safely bath alone.

My mom didn't tell me that I was good because I was bathing. She didn‘t have to tell me. My mind got the message anyway. The message to my little developing brain was while I am bathing I am happy and therefore I am a good girl! The result is that my subconscious mind catalogued: bathing equals being good. This process of childhood subconscious development is called operant conditioning. When something happens on a regular basis during childhood, the brain creates a subconscious agreement with that thing and the emotion surrounding it.

This then remains in the subconscious for life. Now as an adult you don't feel: to be a good person I must shower. You only feel anxious if you don't shower. Then the thinking mind, the part we listen to all day, comes up with a "reason" for feeling anxious. I stink when I don't shower.

People around the world regularly shower once a week, once every two weeks, once a month or even longer and think nothing of it. If you went a couple weeks (say on a camping trip in the desert) how long would your homecoming shower be? Many people who live in the deserts of the world go for weeks at a time and it is business as usual. They don't think they stink - even though you would strongly argue that they do!

Now let's take it back to eating. If while growing up you got a daily message that you were happy or good while eating your mind would associate: I'm happy when eating therefore I am a good child when eating.

The easy example is if every day you were told to clean your plate the message to your subconscious was that eating everything makes you a good child. Leaving food on your plate makes you a bad child. If this message was very strong and reinforced every day your compulsion to clean your plate would be equally as strong.

If there was some why the eating was always a happy time in your home you little child developing brain would associate being happy as being good. As an adult you subconscious mind has the connection to be a good person you must eat, just like you probably must shower daily.

It is this compulsion that makes you eat when you don't want to. It makes you eat when you have promised yourself that you won't. It is what has those cookies calling your name! That compulsion, that constant nagging urge to eat has been called "your food monster". I have to agree, it is a monster! And your food monster is what keeps you overweight.