Paint his ass or call the Police
74
I was not going to write this Hub, until I found out it was National Doughnut Day. Here is just a bit of drama I deal with with a 19 year old daughter who loves drama and a 20 year old daughter who hates it enough to cause more.
My youngest daughter, Kaitlin was dating a guy, they broke up and he has stalked her every since. She is 19 and doesn't have the best judgement. She thought this guy was wonderful, it was sickening. I could look at him and tell he was crazy. I know, takes one to know one. He was crazy. He was very attentive to my daughter and they went to church together and all seemed well. I still wouldn't speak to him because my gut feeling told another story.
About 4 weeks ago he drove up beside her downtown and stopped to talk to her. She refused to talk to him and he grabbed her arm, hit the gas and drug her down the road. When he let her go, he put his car in reverse and ran over her leg. He went to jail for the required Domestic Violence Order. The state took out several Felony charges on him. his parents posted bail and we was out. She got a restraining order, he still tries to see her and they do nothing. So, early this morning (3am) I saw him in the neighbors yard across the street hiding behind a tree.
I quietly sat there under my carport and watched him. He couldn't see me but I could see him perfectly. I moved my foot just a little and a cat from nowhere jumped out. That was good because it distracted him long enough for me to notice what my nephew had left beside my chair. His Paint Ball gun, gear, masks, the works. He was an avid paintballer and had come to my house the day before and left his armor and apparatus lying there. Typical male.
I thought, what if I shoot him with a paint ball gun. I started to weigh my options. I could call the police, interrupt their break and they come out with lights blaring, wake up the neighbors, he would run, they wouldn't find him and it would be my word against his. I could call the neighbor, but he would just get mad and beat him up which I wouldn't mind but no since in making my friend and neighbor wake up to a fight. I was trying to be very thoughtful. I live in a nice neighborhood with mostly old people and that is just fine with me. Less Drama, until the drama queen came home.
I sat there while contemplating my options. If I did shoot him with the paint gun would it be assault with intent? simple assault, at that moment I watched him pull out night vision goggles. This guy was nuts, I mean straight jacket, up the lithium, take a Valium crazy. My mind kept thinking back to the paint ball gun. I had never used one, didn't know how but how hard could it be? I slowly picked it up while watching the idiot try to take cell phone pictures of my daughters bedroom window. At this point, all coping skills had vanished. I wasn't just upset. I was pissed. In a moment of what I call "a misunderstanding" I picked up the paint ball gun and shot it directly into his direction. This must have been some kind of automatic because it didn't stop, lol and he just started running. Haven't seen him since. Luckily my brother came by to pick up Jacob's stuff and I didn't say a word. I have wondered all day if he got the red paint off or if he is bruised, don't really care.
Mission accomplished, problem temporarily solved and I didn't have to bother the Police while on break. My four hours of sleep were pretty restful.
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Comments
He is back in jail again for now at least until his parents get him out. A little bruised as well.
dori
That must have felt soooooo good.
sure did, i wish I had two of them going at one time. I think I got the point across.
dori
You paint a good picture! LOL! Nice! :)
Good one, Tammy!
Fortunerep, restraining orders are worthless pieces of paper. A coupon for Taco Bell is worth more than a restraining order. I like your style!!
If you have a form of the "Make My Day" law in your state, lure him to your yard and hit him point blank. You'll be covered.
wow, as a 19 year old daugther, I have to say, Kaitlyn is lucky as hell to have you.
as we all know, everyone has their quirks. let's just hope the next guy's is nail biting or nervous-laughing...
tamcor, laughing mom and amy, thanks a bunch for commenting. It has been the talk of the town. I did crack a rib, although not real sure if the paintball gun done that, but when asked why he was covered in paint, he fessed up and told the truth. Kaitlin does not see the privilege of having a mother that will go to such extreme to keep her safe, she just laughed. I think she has realized the possible dangers. Thanks Again
dori
F'n funny as hell! those paintballs do sting and bruise bad!
what a creepo though. He deserves that and much more.
roflmao, I hope he got hurt. He will be in jail until his court date, no bond. A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.
dori
me and my friends used to screw around with those guns all through the neighborhood we jacked up ourselves and the next day everything had blotter spots.
The tree in my buddy's yard is splotched with red paint as well as his mailbox, he said not to worry about and wished I had woke him up. I didn't want him dead, just to know I had been there.
dori
This is classic! I love it and would have done the same to that bloody stalker wanker bastard! Love it! Love it! Love it!
Nice shooting Tex! Good thing your nephew didn't leave you a shotgun.
lmao, I know, right? I love it when I am manic and share all of my discretions for the world to see.
dori
Way to go Fortune. I applaud your courage to stand up for yourself and your daughter.
Lol, this is really funny although the situation is tragic. This guy never saw what hit him.
Frickin maniac, I would have grabbed the paint gun and shot him right between the eyes, grrrr idiots like him make me see red. I used to have a stalker, oan over-sexed married plumber that used to hide in my bushes at night, now if I only had a paint gun I would have blown him away, a good one in the groin too would have been good lol.
Thanks all!! LOL I bought my own today, a cheap one that wouldn't shoot far so i could shoot him if I have to again, and it wouldn't hurt but be evidence he violated the order. This was advice from a detective, if he comes within the specified feet of the restraining order around my daughter, Shooting him would be evidence he was there!! OMG I am not going to do that again though, just keep it handy...
Blonde Poet, it is not illegal to shoot someone with a paintball gun, get ya one, just in case.
Sometimes there is only one way to deal with that kind of creep and that's to scare the dickins out of them. You done good because it worked. A terrible story (your poor daughter) with a funny ending. Perfect.
Hope yer daughter is ok and you dont shoot the guy but hey Valium Crazy, as a Valium taker it deff doesnt make you stalk or run over someone.
" This guy was nuts, I mean straight jacket, up the lithium, take a Valium crazy."
Cheers !
You tell a wonderful tale .... but I do not think you have heard the last of him. Generally an obsessed person does not let small setbacks deter them. I suspect that he will become more determined and probably a bit more careful.
I would hope that the authorities would be a bit tougher on him. He certainly needs some help.
Delores, BC and John,
Thanks for your comments, I probably haven't seen the last of him but he now knows that when you mess with a queen bee you will get stung. It makes you think twice about the second amendment, if you are against right to bear arms, anyway. The "system" is supposed to protect, their lack of it could cause my daughter more harm. Not on my watch.
BC I hope you didn't get offended about the Valium Crazy thing, I meant he needs alot of it.
No offence taken, just hope things work out ok for you my friend !
Hats off to you for making that decision. Mustave felt soooooooo good to shoot that jerk! Way to go Dori *Cheers* :D
ou paint a good picture! LOL! Nice! :)ou paint a good picture! LOL! Nice! :)
I think it's pretty funny that you took a few shots at this kid with the paintball gun...my thought is it's probably better if you didn't hit him. Not because of any legal reprecussions, but because he may of thought it was a real gun and that alone may of scarred the you know what out of him- hopefully enough to get your daughter out of harms way.
On a report on 20/20 (could have been 60 minutes or another news show) a few years back they had some teenagers that videotaped themselves shooting random people with paintball guns and those people that were shot were later interviewed. Just about all of them said they were terrified because they thought they were being shot for real. Fear is a great motivator.
You rock! It's amazing the way we vassilate until the protection of our children is on the line, then it's every man/woman for themselves... Crazies are out there, no doubt about it! Way to protect the girl!
Very nice way to go Fortune. I applaud your courage to stand up for yourself and your daughter
I have re-played this in my head over and over and even read my own hub becuase it even surprises me that I done that. You never know what you are going to do when you are in that situation. But you know, I would do it again in a heatbeat. I may have stung him a bit but that is nothing compared to what he did to my baby.
dori
well kudos to you for taking matters into your own hands. I would have done it too. I hope he will get the picture and leave your daughter alone. I can't imagine how scary that must be for all of you. What a loser--hope his ass goes to jail and stays there.
I hope he gets some help. If his parents can afford the bail, maybe they should spend more on therapy instead. I feel for you and your daughter Dori, his behaviour is so squalid.
Ah yes dori, now I remember why I didn't finish it originally or return (as you'll see on my response to get out of the muck). I loved your title and the whole thing makes for a great hub (well done on the writing!). After years of experience with an atypical "anti-social" stalker and him costing me just about everything, my temptation is to write volumes on how to help your daughter get out of her attraction to and attracting another such fiercely dysfunctional relationship. Sign me, the wounds are still too tender to laugh...
PS don't accept the kudos. get it as far out of your hands as the law will allow
Continue to write in volumes. You definately have a reader.
dori
The short answer for you dori is to definitely put your daughter in therapy. Although I've written a book myself (literally - title on profile), your knowing won't really help her. You aren't the one attracting this and you've already realized "let go let God" for your own anger. My book and dozens of others won't help her because she probably doesn't think she needs it = 0 absorption.
What I'm referring to in as brief a nutshell as possible are the fundamental reasons a battered woman returns to the batterer (co-dependence by Beattie is a worthwhile read for starters but it too is older). For years I wanted to help these women but you probably think the same as I did with our only advice being, "just leave". The stalker I'd originally hired on my farm was a blessing because I left volunteering abused kids to focused work in the shelters for women and their kids.
Why I suggest you seriously consider dragging her to therapy is because the majority of women won't leave a situation like that until they are shot these days - BY THEIR ABUSER. Yes, they'd compare gunshot wounds as casually as we discuss Earl Grey or Green Tea. Further, some of the younger kids get in the wrong crowd and I won't go on with many stories but suffice-it-to-say, drugs like Ecstacy can be dropped in a drink and not tasted. One gal, 15 years old, had had a couple dozen dropped in hers. Amazing she was alive to watch the video of what they'd done to her. Despite the video proving that the worse horror flick on TV was a picnic by comparison, the law looked at her history with one in the group of perpetrators and even her attorney said it would be very difficult to defend as if "innocent" (the drama you speak of).
It's not the same these days as you well know. I'm not the type of person to cry wolf or try to frighten out of some mild paranoia. I've been in the trenches. This whole incident could very well be an incredible blessing for you and your daughter to realize the extent "nuts" will go to when they can get a gun at the drop of a hat after watching 6 hours of movie "heros" kill as though life has no value - especially when pissed.
Like attracts like but clearly, your daughter wanted to let him go. It's also clear that she must have been intensely attracted to him. Once involved with that imbalance (which is as exciting in its highs as you witness in the lows), the moderation of normalcy is unintriguing. Sad but very true.
So, while you're looking for a therapist if you can afford to send her, I'd suggest grabbing a copy of Marianne Williamson's "A Woman's Worth" for her. It's so small, she just might read it and begin to understand - therapy would be a Godsent. Hope this helps you utilize and focus all that frustrated anger by hopping to the top of the chart creatively.
Well you are definately a good "reader" . This not her first abusive relationship. She is in therapy, has been since she was 14. She suffers from ODD disorder and has Sociopathic tendencies, and she is a cutter. These things seem to make her vulnerable. Not giving up, she will rise to the occasion.
dori
Yes dori, I didn't want to say Sociopathic but like does attract like - our greatest tool for self awareness are the reflections we see. Glad you are truly a great mom!!! And about as aware as they come :)
So, let me read you that might help a little too and I won't go into much detail unless you want to ask over there (this has changed the whole feeling of your wonderful hub, which is why I didn't finish and post initially) but simply to make that chart you're putting up on the wall easier for you:
You are there Girlfriend! Your intuition is so intact and clear, it is truly impressive! You haven't been sleeping because you know, "it's not over". You had the words explicitly - it's not, but with any luck, it will be concerning this particular a-hole. Buying into the stuff these poor folks live with 24/7 is not the answer. Without changing you, the coming years will be a lot harder to deal with and 15 years down the pike, you'll wonder why you didn't choose collecting stamps instead.
If I may be so bold as to suggest you trust yourself completely! You will come up with the right solutions. Only the doubt is preventing them from popping out of you like balls out of an automatic paint gun on steroids. Stop beating yourself up please Ma'am. Trust that the more you stay on the positive side, the quicker you let go of those nasty temptations to take out that unfounded guilt on these guys, even in the form of words - the easier it will be to stay out of react completely. I know this is not the way it's supposed to be - but the quicker you accept it just is, the quicker your response time will be and the more peace, serenity and tranquility you'll have for you.
Come on back over if more muck gets stirred up OK? Or chat with me on some of the others - most of mine are about "how to sleep like a baby" with a new pearl. And in the meantime, please still grab "A Woman's Worth" because you need to know how worthy you are!
PS dori - surveillance cameras will allow you to stay a lot calmer and prove he's broken the restraining order. Your temptation may be to tally up a few 'proofs' before heading to court. My suggestion is to take each one mercilessly and calmly to put him back in jail. If you can truly convince your daughter not to have any more contact - none - it will be over with him shortly because he needs someone to play his game with him for it to be "fun".
I am on top of it SemPro! I got some motion lights and a camera. Thanks so much for your support, It is sooo appreciated.
Dori
Keep up the great work dori! God doesn't give us anything we can't handle - - - you are an incredibly strong lady! Please don't forget that - ever - and I'll see you at the top of the chart (maybe even doing the "gratidude dance" lol It really does start the day out with a huge smile!) :)
I hereby bestow upon you the Mightiest Mom award! As they say, nothing occurs in God's world by accident. That paintball gun was left in your care for a reason. You were up sitting in your carport at 3am for a reason.
Priceless story! MM
Thanks MM, I to believe in things happening for a reason. Thanks so much for your comment.
dori
Personally, I am glad you shot the buggar! There is no room for his "type" in our lives, fouling everything up.
"I could call the neighbor, but he would just get mad and beat him up which I wouldn't mind..." lol, that's funny!
That being said, as your Lawyer I must advise you to not make information like this public, as it could come back to haunt you, and to anwer your question, yes, you could be charged with assault. So next time, shoot him, by all means, but don't tell anyone except me as I am the only one you can trust (with a small retainer.) This is off the record. On the record, I say:
Oh, no! Fortunerep, you didn't! You must turn yourself into the police immediately! (wink)
You are hilarious, glad to have you hear at Hubpages! We need a lawyer on the forums sometimes, especially check those out and you will have to bite your fingers off to keep from commenting. Thanks for your advice, if he has the nerve to return, I will let you know, how much is your retainer fee? Do I owe you for a consultation? LOl
dori
Good job fortune!! There's nothing like up front communication to make your point! Your daughter's sure a lucky one.
Thanks Madame X, she hasnt read this yet but I am going to wait until the has oneof those teenage moments where she is only self centered and print in and hang it all over her room.
hugs
dori
I am surprised it took that long to debate with yourself whether or not to do it. As soon as I saw the paint ball gun he would have been in my sights.
I waited so long just to enjoy the feeling of what he was about to get!
dori
Yeah, I guess I forgot about the adrenaline rush you could get from that.
Adam B says:
6 months ago
Wow...if this were my daughter, that guy's ass would be grass and I would be the lawnmower. Seriously, that kid would have taken a beating. I cannot believe he drug her down the street and ran over her leg.
He needs to be dealt with ASAP.