I guess how i should start is I love my parents.I mean if it wasn't for them i wouldn't be here today.And i guess if you ever get mad at your parents just tell yourself that because that is pretty much a fact.Well,when i was about 9 my mom told me her and my dad were separating.At the time i didnt understand because growing up i guess,until then,what i saw was a happy family and my parents would only fight every now and again.But i didnt know then how bad it was.I lived with my mom and when to my dad's the days he had off from work since he worked a swing shift.My sister was a lot older than me and by this time she was getting ready to graduate from high school and i was about 11.My mom started to drink and date and my dad started to date.My mom made some bad decisions and my best friends parents told her she couldn't come over to my house anymore because of my mom's choices.The didn't like me liven either.During this time things were also getting bad for me because my parents were putting me in the middle and always trying to put the blame on the other trying to make the other one look more superior to the other.Well,that was about the time all the secrets started to come out.I learned that my older sister,who we don't share the same dads',was not being treated right.Not physically abusive but mentally abusive and controlling.I learned my parents fought all the time and my mom allegedly has an affair so my dad says.And to think the whole time i thought everything was great.Well,also when i was 11 my mom developed cancer.Don't worry she survived and is still alive today.My mom bumped from different houses because she couldn't keep a job and never had any money.So, we basically had to live off of other people.My sister eventually got married and i was stuck dealing with this all alone.My mom went through a deep depression while my dad fought for custody over me.I cant say i wanted to live in either place.My sister,if she could have,wanted to have me come live with her.Well,my dad is very controlling and it does not take a lot to make him mad and i hated to live with him because that meant living in fear of always making him mad.My mom,shortly before my dad was granted full custody,decided to leave and move away.I didn't see her for 2 years.My sister played my motherly role.I needed my mom and she didn't even fight to get me back.I was stuck living my life in fear of my dad.I was kid and that was one thing that made me grow up fast.I cant tell you how i ended up with my mom but that's where i am now.

The point:

I told you my story because,not to make you feel sorry for me,but to tell you that your childhood effects who you are today.I know this may sound dumb but some people think they will change as they get older.And the truth is you will.But everything that happened to you as a child will stay with you as you get older.Right now i have a problem trusting people.I also have a problem with speaking.I don't talk.And when i do it is not a lot.And that is from being silent for all those years growing up.And to me,with my experience,i think it pretty much sucks that our parents pretty much shape you for who you are in the future.I mean dont get me wrong some parents do an awesome job.I know some people are and will me awesome parents.But happens to those of us who don't have that?I mean yeah we could change our selves and not live off of that but don't we usually make choices based on what our parents taught us?Or is this just more of a "me" thing?