Party Time Is On It's Way! - Here Are 16 Ways To Recoqnise Signs That He Is Just Maybe Cheating On You
7716 Original Tips With Many More Just Added From Hubbers on The Comments Page.
Disclaimer: These are tips I have received from various people who have managed to find out what is going on or off as the case maybe! - So If You Have Heard Of Other Innovative Ways Please Feel Free To Add Them To The Comments Page. Eventually We Could Count The Ways **** Even Do A Tally.
1.If your husband/partner/lover sends flowers to his current squeeze on your Store account.
2. If your husband/partner/lover gets very furtive with the use of the phone.
3. If your husband/partner/lover receives many mysterious texts.
4. If your husband/partner/lover seeks heaps of solitude to pursue his "thinking/dreaming" time.
5. If your husband/partner/lover says that he is going out to buy coca cola and doesn't come back for 5 hours.
6. If your husband/partner/lover says that he is going out to buy cigarettes and doesn't return until the next morning.
7. If your husband/partner/lover lies in the bath for hours, comes out looking like a million dollars and smelling like a french bordello, but tells you that he is just getting ready for a night out drinking with boys.
8. If you find a receipt for a night out for two at an Interstate Hotel complete with champagne being listed as the chosen drink in the glovebox in the car of your husband/partner/lover, and you know you were not there.
9. If you find a pair of adult female knickers in the back of the car of your your husband/partner/lover. This could be a dead give away.
10 If husband/partner/lover regularly leaves his wedding ring in places such as hotels and phone boxes.
11.If your mother tells that she has seen your husband/partner/lover in his car with a woman who could be your double.
12.If your trusted woman friend tells you that when modelling at a fashion parade, she heard a woman in the Model's changing room telling all and sundry her current set of lovers and your husband/partner/lover has made her current *F* list .This is a woman you have met with your husband/partner/lover,
13.If the same woman later accosts you in the street, when you are out late night shopping with your young child, to tell you what a great and faithful husband/partner/lover you have.
14.If it is New Year and you are at a party with your husband/partner/lover , the midnight bells sound out and you look for your husband/partner/lover to sing "auld lang signe" and share a tender moment with - you cannot find him so you look in the garden and there he is by the pool, enjoying a long and tender New Year's kiss with the acquaintance who took such pains to tell you what a faithful person he is. Oops she's in the pool - now how did that happen?
15.If you both get invited to a game of cards at one of his Friday night group of friends' house - you accept - then you find out that "Strip Jack Naked" is the game of choice. Not your cup of tea so you ask your husband/partner/lover to take you home. Naturally he doesn't want to offend his friends, so he goes back to the party to arrive home at 7.00am the next morning.
And last but not least
16.If you are telephoned by the hotel where the night of sweet respose took place and you are asked to make reparation for the bounced cheque that your husband/partner/lover wrote. This could indeed be the final straw.
And Now To Add More Tips From The Comments Page! Thanks Guys for these. Some are actually priceless but all are actually painful.
17. If your husband/partner/lover takes to indulging in a little internet secrecy - furtively logging on and off - clearing history files etc. see No. 25
18. If your husband/partner/lover raises suspicions by taking a new hobby suddenly and starts going away for weekends - but then worse comes back with obvious changes made to his body such as having his nipples pierced!
19. If your husband/partner/lover has a lot of late business meetings.
20. If your husband/partner/lover is having a lot of business lunches that take all afternoon
21. If your husband/partner/lover does not answer his/her cell phone
22. If your husband/partner/lover has someone else (opposite sex) answers his/her cell phone.
23. If your husband/partner/lover's voice goes soft (or goes an octave lower) on the phone and he/she says "me too" a lot.
24. If your husband/partner/lover grabs for the land line every time it rings.
25. If your husband/partner/lover spends a lot of time on his PC (however he could just be on hubpages)'
26. If your husband/partner/lover enjoys a sudden change in appearance suddenly starting to trim his nose hair.
26. If your husband/partner/lover is really bad at covering his cheating tracks. For example going off to play golf without actuallyt taking his golf clubs.
27. If your husband/partner/lover has a condom in his pocket which you find when you go to wash his pants -- and you know you've had your tubes tied.
28. If your husband/partner/lover is dressed and ready to go out somewhere and you are unaware of any joint plans when suddenly and for no apparent reason "whoosh" a fire storm starts, and he is out the door telling you just what an awful person you are and he'll/she'll see you whenever. This is called the "come in Spinner" approach.
29. If your husband/lover/partner gets frequent phone calls that "Joe" has a flat or "Bill's" car has broken down and tells you that you don't need to come, you need your rest. Then returns four hours later because "Joe" didn't have the car jack..
30. When your husband/partner/lover has a credit card he has forgotten to tell you about and you receive a call from a credit card company to verify some information about this account, that you didn't know existed.
31. When your husband/partner/lover buys a gift for another person and you receive the bill.
32. When you find a love bite on your husband/partner/lover, where you absolutely know you never ever would place one. This is an ABSOLUTE dead give away.
33. When your husband/lover/partner gets frequent phone calls that "Joe" has a flat or "Bill's" car has broken down and tells you that you don't need to come, you need your rest. Then returns four hours later because "Joe" didn't have the car jack..
34. When your husband/partner/friend introduces you to a lady at a party, and introduces her to you as "my friend". Or even possibly slipping up and introducing you as the friend! Some guys use that term anyway for everyone. But it is one to watch for.
35. When your husband/partner/friend (particularly for single people in a relationship) doesn't call you or want to come over, then shows up at any old hour wanting to stay the night (although in that case, you're perhaps the one he's cheating with instead, although you just may not know it).
36. When your husband/partner/friend is often late picking up his child from the child's minder and after phoning to say he would be late he waltzes in looking and smelling like a million dollars. once took care of a little girl and her Dad starting calling me to tell me he would be late picking her up and then when he did come he was dressed very nice and smelled like musk after shave.
37. When your husband/partner/friend decides that his mail is really personal and decides to take out his own post office box.
38. When your husband/partner/friend who never even attended church in the past, now tells you that he is going to regular bible study.- his excuse for the leaving the house so often.
To Be Continued.....
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Comments
Reminds me of the old joke of two guys dressing after a game of golf.
1st guy "when did you start wearing womens undie's"
2nd guy "straight after my wife found a pair in my glove box"
(borrow chris's rimshot)
well agvulpes aka silver fox - that was a really good solution to a potentially sticky moment! hope they fitted well. cheers.
aj, I hope his girl friend is a big lady or else he might be in a spot of bother!
ag let's hope he is not just a big girl's blouse! and that he can suffer like a man - if not he can always let them out somehow and hope his lady does not notice when she does the washing. Or he might be doing his own washing from now on at another address. cheers.
I would say the later and deservedly so ! :-[)
I'm with you!!!
Hi Anne
When it comes to no.14 so glad she fell in the pool,I'm disappointed he didn't suffer the
same fate . Not a romantic start to the New Year, its hard to believe some people can be
so revolting to their significant other. Honesty,love,faithfulness and loyalty are so important.
He/she has a lot of late business meetings.
He/she is having a lot of business lunches that take all afternoon
He/she does not answer his/her cell phone
Someone else (opposite sex) answers his/her cell phone.
His/her voice goes soft (or goes an octave lower) on the phone and he/she says "me too" a lot.
He/she grabs for the land line every time it rings.
He/she spends a lot of time on his PC (however he could just be on hubpages)'
Good hub brings back some unwanted memories
susie - it is a shame is it not? - unfaithful people deserve all they get! cheers.
sorry sixtyorso - for reminding of things you would rather forget - but life is good now Yes? cheers. will add your suggestions to the list!
Great hub ajcor! I'd have to say that a sudden change in appearance is pretty huge. I once predicted an affair when a friend's husband suddenly started trimming his nose hair. LOL It's true, and it turned out he was. Of course, this observation and prediction was only shared with my husband to let him know that I notice this stuff. ;)
Personally speaking, my first husband was the worst at covering his cheating tracks. He once told me he was going to play golf with some friends, but he never took his golf clubs. LOL!
Thanks for a great hub. :)
A girlfriend of mine failed to get suspicious when her husband took up golf and began going on golfing weekends away with 'the boys'. Eventually he came home from one such weekend with his nipples pierced! Seriously! That's when she began to smell a rat (a love-rat, as it happens!)
Funny hub Ajcor, but poignant at the same time.
Thanks for your comment Pam - 2 more to add to the list - your friend's husband must have had a exceptionally hairy nose for you to notice unless you are really observant! but forgetting to take your golf clubs to a golfing weekend is s.....o dumb! cheers.
Hi Amanda thanks for your comment - going away on those golfing weekends sure seems to be one of the *Lies* of the month - wonder if all the other golfing chaps had their nipples pierced as well!!! lol what a rat! poignant (lovely word) is right. thanks cheers.
LOL, yes he did have exceptionally hairy nostrils. Too bad he was such a cheat because he was quite attractive once he trimmed up all that nose hair. ;) And yes, forgetting to take golf clubs on a golfing trip is just way too stupid for words. ROFL!
Take care :)
Hey annie , its nice to see that you ladies can see the funny side of this, so it seems like most things turn out for the best.
Pierced nipples. Yuk! that sounds painful?
Only if you yank them really hard! (I'd have been tempted, wouldn't you?)
Yanking would be too good I think!!lol I wonder what could be on hand in "a golf bag" that could actually pierce a nipple? a screw?
Now aj Iv'e played a bit of golf myself but I have never had a screw in a golf bag? :-[O
hi ag - I agree that a screw in a golf bag could be a little limiting space wise - bit like siamese twins trying to run a sack race!!!
Gee, I wonder if all the gents that went on the golf outing came back with their nipples pierced as well...?
I will never forget my friend Lisa. She came to interview for a job the same day she found out her husband had given her genital warts. She aced the interview and told us only after the fact about the emotional state she was in that day.
Hi MM puts on a whole new meaning for a "Foursome".
Nice - Mighty Mom - how horrible for her; but as she was able to perform so well at interview she must be such a strong individual! hats off to her. cheers.
ag maybe it's a case of "all for one or one for all"!; (courtesy musketeers) or even for-some and not others!! lol cheers
Well, she turned out to be quite the character in her own right, I will tell you that! We had some wild times. She definitely got her revenge on the male species. LOL.
Ag -- I cannot allow myself to think about that kind of "foursome." It makes me teed off. Tee hee.
aj, Sort of "you pierce yours" and "I'll pierce mine" but you go first!
ag oh the pain, the pain!!!
MM, yes I think any number over two is only what fantasies are made of and in reality are not what they are cracked up to be?
aj did you actually do it. I was only talking hypothetically? ;-[O
Ag? Don't ask me. I don't even golf:-)!
Gotta wonder what the wife did with those nipple piercings when she saw them. You wanna talk about pain... she probably ripped those suckers out!
MM you don't play golf. Phew lucky me I was going to crack a joke about "fore" play!
You may have misunderstood and your feelings may have been hurt. ;-[)
Why would anyone want to get any part of their body pierced, doe's not turn me on at all!
mm this is a truly evil thought but if she had pierced ears...? do you think that this could be actually doable? Waste not Want not - recycling is in - is it not?
ag - that would be a definite no - not heavily into pain of any sort! -haven't even pierced my ears - my friends say they going to get me smashed one day and throw me through the door of jeweller for the deed to be carried out (ear piercing only) - that is unless unless you meant your "foursome" quip if so go to no. 15. for your edification!
aj, your no 15 definitly not me! I'm more the candle light dinner wine be patient type!
swmbo has a capacity to wear 3 earrings in each ear, but doe's not use that facility all of the time. She does not overdo it and I find it quite attractive.
ag that is the best type - your swmbo sounds a brave woman to have 3 in one ear! impressive - btw what does swmbo translate to? cheers
She who must be obeyed, and I'm being paged to make the coffee!
back after the coffee. (she doen't really bite)
I like swmbo - shades of ..? the aussi actor in the english television show whp plays the part of a barrister. cheers (glad she doesn't bite.)
Do you mean Leo Mckern?
that is the one - he's great isn't he? such a grump.
Yeah he's my role model!
What you think I'm to old to have a role model!
Hi AJCor, Ag, I took a few hour "break" to entertain my in-laws. And my task (besides setting and clearing the table and serving dessert) was to make the COFFEE too. In my house I have a HWMBO. Love that term. Think I'll adopt it.
Glad you're not talking about pain and piercings anymore. But ear piercings do not really hurt more than a pin prick. I had my navel pierced in 1997. Not a comfortable spot if you have to wear pantyhose. My son was also young and every time I picked him up it seemed he'd knock right in the navel ring. Ow!
MM , my wife has never found panthose hose in the car so I'm fortunate that I don't have to wear them. They do not look all that comfortable to me?
I'm afraid if I had my navel pierced it might disappear! (the stud not the navel)
My goodness if someone told me there was a double of me , I would be hunting her down , as I would love to see my double in person. I am glad that I haven't ever had to expereince these issues.:)
hi all - ag I definitely don't think you are too old to have a role model - anyway you would many years to do the catch up! I think I might have that stud disappearing problem also.... lol and as for pantyhose in cars TG you don't have to worry about ever wearing them.
mm I like that term HWMBO also - has a certain je n'sais quoi ring to it! that navel thing does nothing for me but my sister has just had her ears pierced - at the urging of her daughter - and says it didn't hurt much - but what if they didn't get them in evenly? Are you a good coffee maker? black with one sugar please.
AEvans I'm glad that you haven't gone through the nastiness of infidelity although it does make for good stories later - much later. Always look on the bright side of life!! btw I tried but couldn't find her.
LOL! I enjoyed reading this a lot, thanks! I'd add, if he starts being very secretive about his internet time. I know some men look at porn and are embarrassed and don't want their partner to know, but a lot of married guys also hook up through online dating sites. Yuck. It happens though.. A LOT!
Thanks pgrundy - glad you enjoyed reading the list - how did I manage to miss out on the secrecy of the internet and the internet dating sites - will add these to the list! cheers
aj and pam, I hope they don't rate Hubpages as a dating site, because I'd have to plead guilty as charged!
ag - I would say more flirting rather than dating - unless it is counted as making a date to come back to hubpages to make a comment later or some such!!! lol cheers
Hi Annie,
great read. I can't understand why you hub on these. As men, we are by nature noble, and never cheat, at least, not with intention.
Benson - never let it be said that men are not by nature; noble beasts - of course they are - it's just that when they themselves forget about how noble they are the beast bit seems to kick in! cheers
And to be perfectly fair... it takes two to tango. So if the man is cheating, he's cheating with someone. And she isn't always some single bimbo hoping he'll leave his wife. His paramour may be cheating on her husband as well... Then again, he could be on the "down low" -- hey, it happens:-).
But it goes without saying I do NOT mean to imply the noble men who frequent HubPages for purposes of harmless "cyber-flirting"
I agree with you MM - It does take two to tango - some people thrive on the thrill and danger this type of behaviour brings! don't actually get myself! and rather than use the word flirting I would prefer to say playing with words. if ok to answer what is the "down low"? cheers
mm and ej , I've never heard this expression hope it's not dirty :-[) please explain?
"Then again, he could be on the "down low" -- hey, it happens:-)."
Hi Benson just caught your last comment:-
" I can't understand why you hub on these. As men, we are by nature noble, and never cheat, at least, not with intention."
So it's OK for me to cheat as long as I don't mean to cheat? (tongue firmly in cheek)
ag - sorry I am at a loss as to what it means - I have however asked mightymom, and she will answer if it is ok to answer. cheers
- over to you Benson for the next answer!
sort of like it's only a sin if you think it's a sin?
I am so rigid on this, when I cannot trust a guy I am gone. If the guy is so juvenile that he constantly admits to looking at other women, I really do not want to stick around. It is a given that men and even women look at the opposite sex, but if you constantly have to tell me about it you are not savvy/and or mature enough to have my time. I would not even need signs, I just go with my gut instinct in how he is making me feel. Do I feel better when I am around him? Is he mature enough not to admit to his constantly staring at other women? At least he is subtle and mature, not like some immature high school kid announcing his attraction to the world at all times.
If we are out and he is constantly talking about beautiful blondes, then I will not want to go out with him anymore. This may result in being single for life, but I am not willing to compromise. Marriage should be when you truly want to be with only that person for the rest of your life, and anything less is a joke. That is why I actually respect the guys who are single because they admit they have a wandering eye, unlike the married guys that constantly flaunt their escapades.
Thanks for this comment SweetiePie - I'm with you on this - but sometimes because it is hard to actually know who is telling you the truth, you do become compromised despite your initial stance. And just because that chap you are with is smart enough not to stare obviously at the blondes, it does not mean he is not pulling the wool over your eyes. Your gut instinct could kick in if you are indeed savvy and mature enough to read the signs and not suffering from a case of "love blindness".
Having said that I am sure getting it right first time is easier than making a mistake and subsequently having to go through the whole painful process of separation, divorce, children etc. Best all around trick would be to get it right first time. However having said that if you do not make a go of it in the first instance you can still be lucky second time around. cheers.
Your tips are good, I just noticed in my case my gut reactions always told me about the people I was dating. Honestly I think marriages and relationships are a little overrated, I am not a big fan of these. However, I am glad these tips can help those who suspect a cheater.
SP: Thanks for your comment. You are very lucky to have inbuilt radar and I hope it keeps you safe from the would be cheaters of this world! cheers.
aj, reading your comment about having the inbuilt radar to detect the cheaters of this world got me to thinking about some women I have met who have a built in magnet to attract these sorts of guys. These woman seem able to make the same mistake time and time again. Do you have any ideas why?
ag, just guessing but maybe it is a combination of many factors and has something to do with self esteem, your self confidence and knowledge as to who and what you are, your basic expectations of life, the way you were raised, the input you received from parents as to your self worth, and not least your ability to learn from your mistakes! The last one I think is a hard one particularly if you are always attracted to the same type of look and personality in your potential partners, which means that if this is your proclivity then you will always go for the bad boys! So as it looks to me; you need to either change your specification as to what you want in a partner ( steadiness, fun, laughter, a mate, friend, sex or money or none of the above!), learn from your mistakes and don't do a repeat, or you try and develop the inbuilt radar! Life wasn't meant to be easy or so a famous politician once said! d.dix. lol. cheers
I totally agree with your assessment. Some seemingly together women do seem to attract guys with wandering eyes (and other body parts). It definitely is linked to their self worth. As my darling hubby says, "We get the love we allow." If on some level (even unconscious) we don't feel worthy, we attract men who will treat us as unworthy.
Here are a couple of other observations to toss into the mix:
1. There's an old saying: Women marry men expecting to change them and men marry women expecting them to stay exactly the same. Guess what, ladies? Men don't want to change. They want to be who they are! I am sure we all know women who collect "wounded bird" men and try to nurture them to health. How often does this work? And how often does the male react by recoiling from the female's efforts -- into the arms of another woman..
2. Don't underestimate the distance having children can put between a couple. If the wife becomes subsumed into the role of mother and unconsciously shuts hubby out, he can feel completely justified in getting his manly needs met elsewhere.
"2. Don't underestimate the distance having children can put between a couple. If the wife becomes subsumed into the role of mother and unconsciously shuts hubby out, he can feel completely justified in getting his manly needs met elsewhere."
MM do you think she is unconscious because hubby has wacked her , or was that a "freudian", slip as they say?
LOL, Ag. She's unconscious because being a mother is mind-numbingly hard work. Surely you know that:-). If hubby is wacking her, that's a whole different level of problem called spousal abuse. And gives her the right to cheat on him. Or maybe kill him.
Thanks mm for the big laugh you just gave me - "women do seem to attract guys with wandering eyes (and other body parts) It definitely is linked to their self worth" - following this train of thought through, I wondered what if I too saw myself as e.g. a wandering body part lol - what be my basic definition of me be? (this is just supposing I actually did have wandering body parts) still laughing. Re your 1st point I have always thought it a lost cause to try and change someone into an image you may prefer -somewhat arrogant also!! and of course it is not going to work - maybe on smaller issues such as manners or some such the woman may enjoy small success; but she is not going to be able to come anywhere near altering the intrinsic man who is the final, triumphant outcome of many years in production! Re no 2 I have seen this happen over the years the mother/child versus whole family role and I salute the young couples of today who in the main, (while accepting that there will always be the selfish ones) seem to have organised themselves into acting as a unit for the good of the family as a whole. It may be something to do with the fact that society expects everyone to work and that money is tight, but whatever the reason, good or bad, this is one good outcome. Men getting more involved with their children and women getting some help in their more traditionally expected roles.
mm there rights and there are rights!!!!!lol
MM
"She's unconscious because being a mother is mind-numbingly hard work. Surely you know that:-)." Never having been a mum I can't speak from experience.
Although with me being the youngest of 11 children, One of my brothers had 12 children(officially) (he also had wandering body parts as you so aptly commented), one of my sisters had 10 children. I do hear what you are saying.
aj I certaining agree with your comment on MM's point no 2. My son and his partner have 2 children, and appear to have a good working arrangement.
(she doe's nothing/ he does all the work. LOL only jokin'!)
She has a full time job/ he works part time and doe's day to day stuff for/with the kids. Seems from swmbo and my perspective a good balance!
ag I think that probably from your point of view being the youngest of 11 was probably much easier than being no. 1 from the mother's "little helper" point of view! (??) and I am really glad that you and swmbo (as opposed to "her indoors") can attest to your son's family working arrangements being in balance! gives hope to all those other young families out there struggling still. cheers. have you seen misty's hub on the story of Christ? cheers.
Hi guys, I came back. Took a HP break to eat dinner and watch the Obamas on 60 Minutes. I definitely agree the sharing of parental duties seems like the fairest way to do it.
I haven't seen Misty's hub on the Story of Christ but have noticed quite a bit of traffic there. I'm going to go check and see if you're all over there...
welcome back mm - everyone needs a break?lol. it's all calmed down now because misty is such a gracious person, vp showed us his nice side and then a great calm descended upon the hub. cheers.
Hi aj just got back from the misty hub. You did a good job there. I could not understand what all the shouting was about. Religious debates get that way don't they? Is VP a man or woman?
thanks ag seems a shame when it all goes down hill particularly when someone has worked hard to produce a hub that has taken time and thought - as shades said on a hub somewhere, we should play nice on the hubs lol... I tend to stay away from the religious, heavily debated hubs as they do tend to get a bit heated. vp =viralprospector =male. cheers
aj I've just put my 10 cents (gotta allow for inflation) in over there I wonder what sort of reaction I'll get . ( I might have been naughty).
So "VP" man or woman.
ag - he is a he . I can answer this one but only you can know the answer to your other question! cheers lol did you go over the the hub allshookup re her little dog - I may have stirred the possum a bit there - check if you can. don't obviously now how you feel about this issue - cheers
aj that is what I thought but one of "his" comments referred to the partner being a man? Hmmmm.
LOL ajcor. I was just thinking about ASU earlier today thinking I hadn't "sparred" with her in quite awhile. Now you've got MY curiosity up and I just have to go and read about the little dog and see if you stirred the possum (haven't heard that expression before). Also must see your naughtiness on Misty's hub, Ag. I know you have that propensity, even though you are mostly a gentleman.
ag from memory the partner is his business partner.
mm the expression "stirred the possum" is goody is it not? while it was off topic it was mentioned in the comments so i felt able to ask the questions! cheers dears.
aj thanks for straightening that out . So where is the party at. got a link for me?
MM even when I "stir the Possum" I try to do it in a gentlemanly fashion!
ag this will take you to the hub but the comments bit - new computer program/tower haven't quite sussed out everything yet!
her hub is good- very sad but good - however it was the comments that got me going.
Hi, ajcor: I actually read this when you first published it, when my computer wasn't working and all I could do was lurk in the shadows of hubpages without being able to comment. Now look at all the comments. Any of these things would be bad to go through. One thing I've always taken for a sure sign is when your significant other says, "Chris, meet Skip. We're going out for awhile...don't wait up." That one always raises my suspicions.
this is like locking the barn door after the cow has already left. I could have warned you not to get into any kind of "discussion" about guns. As a non-American you have no credence because "WE" have our 2nd Amendment rights (you know i'm not speaking for myself here, I do hope!). It's an endless loop and nothing -- and I do mean NOTHING -- you or anyone else can offer as evidence to the contrary is going to make a difference. Spare your breath and save your thoughtful questions and commentary for other hubs.
You know, I watched President-elect Obama on 60 Minutes tonight and he was asked some of his top priorities. I did not hear him mention "guns" or "2nd amendment" or anything related to gun ownership. He did say a seamless transition of homeland security is essential. And that he plans to abolish Guantonomo Bay Prison. Also energy policy. Honestly, I think this hysteria by gun owners is being perpetrated by gun sellers to get people to buy their goods. But I wouldn't dare say that -- except somewhere "safe" like here on your hub!
Ag, you are the most gentlemanly possum stirrer I have the pleasure of knowing!
Groan, Chris. It's bad enough to be cuckholded. But with a guy named "Skip"? Man, that's harsh.
aj It's a sad commentry on life that you can only feel safe when you have a gun. I agree with your comments but unfortunately it is enshrined in their constitution and I can't see it changing any time soon. I'll have to think about commenting. I do hate guns!
Chris hi, nice to see you up and about again.
Now surely that "skip" guy couldn't refer to you , You could take anyone with a name like "skip". (unless of course, skip was a woman)
MM thank you very much. I'd come and stir your possums any day!
MM: I just read the ASU hub and was surprised to see you let that go, but now I see your reasoning. That cuckold thing didn't happen, but I did have dating rules for my sister, which were you can't date any guys named Skip, Chip, or Lance.
ajcor: I thought I'd just point out that many scholars of the constitution don't think that "The Right to Bear Arms" pertains to owning guns, but rather the right to mount a defense (or something like that.) But MM is correct: These people are as adamant and one-tracked, unreasonable and vocal as the religious nuts. You can't talk sense to them.
LOL, Chris. My first boyfriend's name was Skip (he was geographically undesirable, living in NH when I lived in NY). But he was older and had a nice little blonde mustache. It lasted one summer...
And... my Hubby (of many a MM hub fame) is called Chip by his family. He hates it. I have never and will never call him that. Know what it stands for? He is William Lyle II. He is the only boy and the "baby" and when he finally came along his dad said, "he's a CHIP off the old block." But I agree with your protection of your sis -- there are certain names you just can never date.
If y'all want to get into a religious fistfight, head over to a hub by Arkwriter. I just left a comment there.
I have to sign off for the evening now. So good night my friends. Happy possum stirring! A demain...
Final comment. Chris: Any boys named LANCE coming around your house would not be looking to date your sister. Trust me on this.
That's funny, Ag!
christoph - glad you're back on deck & no longer lurking in shadows - re the Chris/Skip thing that would definitely be not be a good look - I know of men leaving their women for other men and women leaving their men for other women - and personally I think that would be even harder than the traditional marriage mess-up - and probably more humiliating.
mm I had no idea it was such a no go arena - even to the point that it was suggested that people who disagree leave the country of their birth to move to our country! bit harsh I thought. However won't go there - are these the people who we hear referred to as 'rednecks"? or is that harsh also?
ag I so agree with you about "needing" a gun to feel safe - in fact in one of my jobs I was responsible for the disarming of guards federally on work sites so as you can see I do feel strongly on this issue!
re of the names that be also added to the no-date list - I vote Richard along the lines of you d...head!. give him the richard etc.... cheers dears!!
ajcor: That is part of being a redneck, but that alone does not make you one. I am not against people owning guns. The issue is more about how easy they are to get. When we (meaning people who want to make it more difficult) make a proposal like doing more extensive background checks on people purchasing guns (particularly handguns) and having a longer waiting period before you actually get it, they object to this too. Why, i ask? What on earth can they find wrong with making sure that people who get them aren't felons or of sound mind or what have you. It's mind boggling.
aj that's funny I used to go to school with a kid called "Richard Head" before it became famous. Pity.
Just been over stirring the possom at Arkwriter worth a look, scary?
See you in a bit gotta cook tea!
Thanks for that Christoph - if closer inspection of potential buyers and the implementation of longer waiting periods could stop even 5% of killings surely that could be seen as the wise thing to do, the fact kids massacre other kids is just too hard to go with, I can see the way my non inflammatory remarks were received it is definitely a no go area. So from now on that is exactly what it will be --- I think?? lol cheers
I thought so too ag - have you got a link - I put arkwriter into search but didn't find the hub... thanks
Look on hubtivity for it, ajcor. It's Obama the Antichrist.
Thanks Christoph - will look that up now and see if I can value add altho the religious arguments I find a little in-your-face!! am going to cook dinner now - have just been handed a lovely cold glass of chardonnay - the pre- requisite to cooking. cheers.
naughty naughty ag - I just read your comment over at arkwright(?) and I am giggling so much - wicked!!
aj I think we call that Aussie respect?
I think it will go through to the keeper!
It seems like a lot of hubbers "have there done that" or alternatively been done!
Hi sixtyorso how goes it , we are having a bit of fun today! want to join in!
I was reading some of the comments and I have to disagree with those who say people get the love we allow. Sometimes together women just meet jerks and it is not their fault. It is the mark of a together man or woman to realize the person they are dating is a jerk and move on. However, there is two sides to every issue, so I just wanted to throw that out there to add some depth to the discussion. I have seen so much, and I came to realize even those who feel they are in the perfect marriages may not know all. Food for thought.
Sweetiepie, I agree with you about that statement, it does not seem to be finished.
I will let you love me if.....
We get the love we allow? do we have to allow someone to love us.
I would still love me wife whether she allowed me to or not!
On the other hand if I did not love my wife, it would not matter how much allowing she did, I still would not love her!
I just noticed on this discussion it seemed to be the married vs. the single gal. I represent the single gals perspective and I just have to make it known not all single people have low self esteem. In fact there seems to be the illusion that us single people do not yet have a happy ending, that we are missing something. Some how I just feel anyone who feels this way is only seeing it from their side. Once you are over the age of 30 and have been single most of your life you can truly say it is possible to be happy, have self love, and be single. Only 51% of the US population is married today, which means there are lots of divorced, single, widowed, and single run families out there. Many of these people are happy and not looking for marriage surprisingly. If people want to be in a relationship it is great, but married people should not feel that us singles are lacking on any front. That was my only point.
sweetiepie do you have the right Hub, the discussion is a very light hearted look at how men cheat on the wives. Please do not take anything written here too seriously.
We are just having a bit of fun and do not intend upsetting anyone.
Not on this Hub anyway.
Why are you assuming I am taking things too seriously? Just noticed some of the comments were one sided. I am sort of having fun just pointing it out. It is my way of having fun, and enlightening :). Why can I not just be me and comment. Why refer to we? We are all individuals here. It is not a me vs. we thing.
sweetiepie its good to see you having a bit of fun :-) I did not assume you were taking things too seriously, you posted a serious comment which did not seem relevant to the subject.
I for one would not want you to be anyone else but yourself. As the song goe's "I Love you Just the Way You Are" . I referred to we because we is the plural of I and it is not just I that it having the fun it is we or us whichever the case may be!
If you read the comments the way I read them, to me there is no me V we it is just light hearted banter between friends :-[)
I see what you mean now. Maybe I come off as too serious, but I am just be always who I am.
sweetiepie sometimes we have to "get used to" other peoples sense of humour?
btw I do like your new avatar, has that look of mystery !
Sweetie Pie Perhaps as a companion piece to this one a "15 ways to leave a Jerk" hub may fun!
Gawd, this hub is so hot that I had to come back to see what the heck is going on!
I always enjoy reading your comments agvulpes. :) Did anyone ever explain what "down low" means?
Christoph, it's good to see you back and commenting, I always enjoy reading your comments too.
I don't feel like scrolling back up to see who said what, but I suppose the only thing I'd like to add is that I feel that even single women who cheat with married men are also cheating. It's just wrong. But that's my personal opinion. ;)
I also think that there are some men out there that no matter what the circumstances are, they will cheat. Meaning it's not always about a wife being busy with children, work, and home stuff. Some men are just gonna cheat. My first husband is an example of this particular breed. ;) I have some theories about this, but I want to prevent my comment from being a book.
Lastly, I wonder....do women (married women) cheat as much as men? If they do, why do they do it? Are they better at pulling it off and not getting caught?
Personally, it's not in my moral code to cheat. Flirting is a different matter. :)
ajcor and MM, didn't mean to leave you two out...*blowing kisses* You two always keep me interested and laughing (when appropriate) with your hubs and comments. :)
great advice/tips..check out my post and tell me what you think, id like to hear your opinion..thanks!
That might be a fun hub sixtyorso. Thanks for the suggestion!
Thanks for the comment on my avatar aguvulpes!
Morning all ! whew leave the room for a few hours to eat and sleep and talk to the family and it is all going off - Great!!!
ag - thanks for your valued input - always good to keep the party going - tempo up and the hub fun - bantering is good as is keeping all the balls in the air!!
Sixtyorso - always nice to see you - and yes it does look as if a lot of people have been "done" and to think I was worried about putting this hub up! Good suggestion for Sweetie Pie.
SweetiePie - Appreciate your comments - and it is always good to have some stats added to the mix. I"ll just make the point that when I wrote this hub I was referring generally to infidelity as a whole and the way recipients of such behaviour can recoqnise the signs - I didn't make a distinction of whether they were married or not because the "love rats" are everywhere. You don't have to be married to have an unfaithful partner. And as for the singles point of view I totally understand that as I too enjoyed the single mum status for 17 years whilst raising 2 boys with an ex. who decided to go home to his own country - no probs. It is only meant to be a bit of light hearted fun certanly not having any digs at anyone's marital status and attitudes . I am sorry if that is what you see when you read the comments. I like your avatar also - looks sort of smoky...
Pam R re the down low thing - no we (ag & aj) still haven't been enlightened - if you feel like telling us that would be good. And I agree that the woman who are party to the party enjoying the party are as bad as each other! particularly if the woman happens to be the best friend or sister or some other close confidante of said woman.The question as to whether married women cheat as much as married men I think so - as far as I could see the women who enjoyed my ex's favours were married. As I don't agree with married people enjoying little pecadillos on the side I wouldn't actually indulge the same way - it's bad enough to be on the side where you are the one who is hurt, without dealing it out as well.
cheers all and thanks.
I agree on all counts Ajcor. Pecadillos...LOL! I like that. :D
As far as "on the down low" goes, this is my understanding: It involves men who seek out sexual relationships with other men in secret. Secret meaning they don't want anyone to know they enjoy the sexual company of men, and secret meaning they don't want their wives to know. If I'm wrong, then somebody tell me!
Hi All, I think I am the one who introduced the term "on the down low" to this comment thread so let me end the mystery. It is when seemingly straight men are having sexual liaisons with other men.
SwP -- I truly hope you don't feel like this thread is in any way singling out single people as one way vs. married people another way. Certainly not my belief or intention. I will say there's one sure way to keep your partner from cheating on you: don't have a partner. Ha ha.
I also see my statement we get the love we allow is somewhat contorversial. When I first heard it I didn't get it and didn't believe it. But I have come to understand what it means. The capacity to accept love comes from within. Our partner may honestly love us more than life itself. But if we ourselved don't have the capacity inside to receive and recognize that love, we are not going to feel "loved." I have been guilty of this in my past. I have known men who have been loved (by me) but who just couldn't let themselves feel it. Didn't mean I wasn't offering it. Their love receptor was just broken is all.
Finally, at the risk of starting a firestorm, it seems that cheating is more accepted in some cultures than others. I'm not saying it's right (not at all!) but Italian, Greek, French men routinely have mistresses on the side. Family is over here, lovers are over there. I don't think I'd want to be either the wife or the paramour!
Thanks for the explanation Pam - *taps side of nose* no wonder they want to keep it on the QT! cheers
Just a bit of clarification on the down low thing. Generally, it just means in secret. For instance, if Pam and I had an affair and didn't want anyone to find out (true story, by the way), we might keep it "on the down low." Black men, however, have co-opted the term to apply to themselves when they get together with other men - presumeably to play poker or something - and then have sex with each other. Curiously, they do not consider this activity homosexual in any way and are often married men with children, etc.
Mighty Mom, I am not upset by anything said on this thread. You are all nice people. Thanks for sharing, you have made many good points.
Acjor,
Thanks for the comment on my avatar. I realize this hub is lighthearted and it is a fun one. Sometimes I just seem too serious in my comments, but it is just because I am always being me. I did not mean to sound so serious. Once again I enjoyed reading the hub and would not be commenting here if I were upset :).
Thanks Christoph - so males can engage in "down low" activities and it is not considered either homosexuality or an affair of any description - just a fairly awful secret - equally the down low can apply to heterosexual extra- curricular but secret activities - so the term while still being applied to the sexual activity really relates to the "secret" part?
Re you and Pam - better not announce that on hub pages better keep it on the QT!!! lol. cheers.
Well, let's see. Anything can be on the down low, like a plot to assassinate someone. Also, it is only the black men who engage in the homosexual activities that don't think that it is homosexual. Everyone else does, and rightly so. They know that it would be taken that way though, and that's why they keep it on the down low.
By george I've got it!!! thank you Christoph. bit of a double standard going on though - don't you think with the homosexuality? that's a whole 'nother ball game and a bit difficult to pick up on for the partner/lover/wife. cheers
cheers SweetiePie - it's all ok - feel free to comment whenever you wish - look forward to hearing from you.
While the term on the down low (aka "dl" or "tha low") most often refers to the practice of black men with other black men, it apparently doesn't only occur in African American culture. I did a very quick Google search. Here's an excerpt: "In her article titled "Down low" myth distorts HIV research, prevention, author Anne Harding talks about Dr. Ford's research and the misconceptions that the down low is an exclusive African-American issue.Harding writes, "The practice of straight men secretly having sex with men is seen across all ethnic groups."
I must confess I wondered myself it that practice might be one of the reasons for the high incidence of HIV in the Black hetero population. This particular author's research suggests otherwise.
Ajcor -- I think it's not so much of a double standard as a that river in Egypt: DENIAL!!!
Christoph...shhhhhh! ;) By the way, where were you last night? Remember, the rooster squats at midnight, but keep it on the down low. ;)
Ajcor, that joke is a good one - very much worth making room for it in my brain to remember for later. LOL! Thanks for the giggle. ;)
ajcor says:28 minutes ago Just saw my incorrect attribution so a correction - from Pam to MM. sorry MM and Pam.
Thanks MM - hadn't heard of this "down low" before this hub - like the explanation re the "Their love receptor was just broken is all. " I have had this experience in the past but just didn't see it for what it was - you have a smart husband! and of course it goes without saying that you also are smart!!! My ex is a latin so I completely and totally understand what you are saying. So no fire storm from me.. .. although not all latins are like this obviously. This reminded me of a joke told to me some time ago ... "a man and his wife were lunching at a very smart restaurant in Paris when they noticed their neighbour and his mistress sitting quite close by enjoying a little tete - a - tete. The wife leans across to her husband and whispers to him "she is not as pretty as ours - is she?" lol. cheers
De Nial is good !
MM, thanks for looking that up. I actually first heard about this on Oprah, and I think she only interviewed black men about this 'down low' business. Perhaps she needs to have a talk with Dr. Ford, because the information you found makes sense to me in that it would not involve ethnic boundries.
Great joke! And that just proves the point that if you are raised in a culture where it is the norm, it is, well, "normal." On the other hand, if you are raised with different values, then it can be a problem.
One of my (many) favorite scenes in the movie Goodfellas is when Karen Hill goes to Henry's mistress Janice's apartment and buzzes all the doorbells screaming that they have a "hoo-a" living there. See? Karen was a nice Jewish girl who never should have married a goodfella:-)
I believe the term is still heavily associated with Black men. Possibly because in the Black culture homosexuality is a big taboo (one of the reasons Prop 8 was passed in CA is the high turnout of African American voters this year to vote for Obama).
LOL. I first heard the term on Law and Order SVU. Ice T (who always gets the best lines IMO) says about some dude, "brotha's on the down low."
I agree Pam - although the whole concept is new to me.
MM Glad you liked the joke - will try and get hold of "the goodfellas" movie - sounds funny!
aj mornin' Iv'e had my cornflakes and coffee. Just catching up on the reading, good joke, :-[)
Thanks ladies and Chris for the explanation, I have heard of that practice just not the term used. sixtyorso may confirm this but when I was living in SA it was very openly carried out among some African races and did not seem to be frowned upon.
Pam "the rooster squats at midnight"? is that sort of like "The pestel with the pallet is the pistal with the poison"? Damn I could never say that right!
Howdy, Ag. Welcome to today's discussion of intellectually enlightening topics! So I have a question. If you live down under and are engaging in this non-homosexual homosexual activity do they say you are on the up high?
Ajcor -- I must issue you a warning on Goodfellas. It is very, very funny. But it is very, very, very bloody and graphic in its depiction of mobster life. It stars Ray Liota, Joe Pesci, pretty much every other Italian actor in the world. Karen is played by the actress who is now Tony Soprano's shrink. Can't think of her name (senior moment).
How on earth did i miss this hub until now. It has just taken me half an hour to catch up on the hub itself and read all the comments. Very funny, a whole load of wit has been shared here.
Can I add 'Steve' to the list of names of men you should not trust. I dated two of them, and both were cheats and also somewhat mentally unbalanced, plus both of them hit me. They are definitely on my 'no way' list from now on in, (well actually everyone is as I am married!) :)
MM you having a senior moment, never. (Lorraine Bracco) one of my favourite actresses. Goodfellas is a funny movie (was it supposed to be).
Not being able to speak from experience mind, if you are down under (geographicly) and go down low (physically so to speak) you would technically be down down low.
Now I think mathicatically that would be expressed. "Down to the square root low".
Does that clear things up for you MM.
LOL Misty gal. You missed it because you were busy questioning the story of Jesus. Well, not questioning it per se. But expanding it to allow for other cultural icons to possibly share some/most/all of it with Him. Oh yes, and defending your honor against spurious claims about some of your "ahem" beliefs and activities.
Yes, we've had some fun over here. Note that Chris has disappeared. As has Pam. Does anyone hear a rooster crowing? Or squatting???
Can you hear a Rooster 'Squatting' then??? I would have thought squatting was relatively quiet as an activity :)
Down to the square root low -- you are so wise, Ag.
I'm thinking "the rooster squats at midnight" is some kind of down low code from Pam to Chris. Probably doesn't literally mean the rooster is going to squat. But come to think of it, do roosters lift their leg like male dogs?
ROFL you all!
Non-homosexual homosexual LOL! And I shudder to think about a square root low or a double down low! Good ones. :)
The rooster comment is a top secret code phrase for....wait, I can't tell you. ;)
Misty, my first husband's name was Steve too, so I second your motion to have the name 'Steve' added to the cheating doodoo head list.
Ladies I don't want to offend anyone but I've always had a thing about "Bruce"?
and no thats not my name?
Now come on Pam just whisper I won't tell anyone. Promise! Cross my heart X. Scouts Honour.
Lucky Bruce AG, does he know you have a thing about him?? :)
MM, no they don't I am afraid. Can't say I have seen them doing a lot of squatting either, unless they are having a dust bath :)
Blimey - just went to have some toast and tea and a shower! and we have a party happening - do love a party!!!
Pleased to see you Misty - you sure had a busy day yesterday - hope you are not feeling so rung out today! Pam - The rooster comment is a top secret code phrase for....wait, I can't tell you. ;) Please Please -you can tell us - we can be trusted!!
ag I agree with the name Bruce being added to the list - my brother who had broter-in-law who wasn't really up to scratch who he nicknamed "Bruce the Rooster" possibly because of his early morning/nocturnal activities - funny how it all fits isn't it? what about a double down up high low? maybe too wordy!
cheers
mm think the movie sounds like my cup of tea! thanks for the words of warning though.
whether roosters lift their legs - or would that be cock their legs? will get back to you on this hugely important question. cheers
Nice to be here Ajcor, although still pretty tired after last night's debate :)
I was having my oil changed. As for last night, I was searching for a word processor program to download to my computer. It's not very good, but will tide me over until i can get word on here.
I'm not sure what "The rooster squats at midnight" means, but I think I am supposed to say: "And the derelict crows at dawn." I had heard the term down low before, but later saw it as it related to black men and homosexuality when my wife was watching Oprah. I hate it when a phrase exists and it suddenly gets further defined (or changed entirely) to a different meaning. Take the word "gangbang." Now it means these hoodlums who go around engaging in gang behavior, but we all know what it really means.
I find it a bit sad you can no longer refer to having a good time as being 'Gay'. Originally that was all it meant, so to say 'I am having a gay time' was perfectly normal. Can you imagine the reaction you would get now if you in all seriousness told someone at work you 'had a fantastic gay evening last night'? Nothing against being gay, that is fine, I just wish a new word had been invented to cover this.
Hi Chris don't know if you have heard of "open Office" a free suite of programs and compatable with word. did I say free. gangbang eh no what does that mean?
Looks like you missed out Pam gave you the password a while ago!
Do you feel better with new oil. Did you have a filter fitted as well?
misty I am just back from visiting and your hub looks as if it still has quite some vigour in it still. hope it doesn't flare too much today...... re. the "gay" thing I have felt the same as you for a long time- now imagine if your name was Gaye..maybe you might want to change ir!
christoph precisely with the gangbang - gang behaviour lets them off pretty lightly! hope you find a word processor program-I am having a copy of "mind your own business" myob acctg. program given to me on wednesday which I will try to learn by myself before taking the $370 1 day class to learn how to do the reconciliation bit . hope it is not too intricate....cheers.
ag I missed it too - where is it - tell me please ...lol
By the way Christoph, is 'Having my oil changed' a euphemism for something else???
Yes, we all know what it really means. Gangbang -- isn't it fun to say!!?? Not unlike Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma'am... And so glad you brought that up, Christophe/Pepe/Mr. President or whatever name you wish to be addressed by today. Wasn't that what we were all supposed to be having on your hub several days ago, just as soon as your new hot water heater piece arrived? I have my soap on a rope in the shape of 38 special right here. I fully maintain my 2nd amendment rights to bear arms in my bare arms (along with other bare body parts) in the group shower!!!
Misty, I wondered that too. "Having my oil changed." Hmmm. Sounds suspiciously like a down low activity (not that there's anything wrong with that between two consenting roosters).
Years ago there used to be a male name 'Gaylord', for obvious reasons it is not really ever used thesedays.
MM I double dare you to write that on the "other" hub!!! and really it is ok "bear arms in(your) my bare arms" as long as none of your other bits are wandering! or to be more specific those wandering bits are not off partying with other parties just out on a frolic of their own!!!
Ladies please all this talk of bare body bits , wandering body parts, soap on rope that looks like a gun. I'll have to go and have a COLD shower! Or maybe change my oil ?
btw just commented on Misty's hub!
hi ag - I saw your summation and approved wholeheartedly - I added to it then scrubbed it out as i did not wish cause misty more exhaustion...lol
I know, hunh, Ag? Having missed out on last night's highly emotional exchange, I find myself quite in a LATHER today. Part of me wants to play nice and stick to little innuendoes among friends. But man, part of me does want to accept your double dar ajcor!!
Right now, for anyone so inclined, Arkwriter's hub on Obama as the Antichrist seems to be the spot to find some action. I dunno. Maybe I will formulate my hub on why the Bible grants me the right to bear arms. Duh. It's cuz I'm SAVED. If you are unsaved you cannot have a gun. Yes. I think that's going to be my topic. If I can stop ROFLMAO long enough to research and write it.
Meantime, yes, you should probably go get your oil changed too, Ag.
Gaylord. LOL. Did everyone see "Meet the Parents"?
No, I was literally having the oil in the automobile changed, but think it would make an excellent euphemism for something else. As for what I am being called today - that is totally up to you, as I answer to anything.
If the good lord didn't mean for you to bear arms he wouldn't have given you bare arms to bear. Same argument for masturbation. If you weren't supposed to, then your arms would have been shorter.
Chris , that is funny, that must be where the saying "short arms long pockets" came from? I'd just have to go and buy me one of your dolls if I had arms growing out of my shoulders?
Thanks for commenting on my Hub AG. I have just had to post more info on there to try to answer a point made by Sir Dent, so the debate still continues to a degree.
MM, yes I did see that film, it was really funny.
ag: If your arms aren't growing out of your shoulders, where the heck ARE they growing from!
yeah Chris all in the timing isn't it? (Hands)
Misty it seems Iv'e been dealing with fluster and bluster types all of my life!
btw; I haven't seen spryte lately?
Ag: I just went through the missing Spryte thing on another hub. She is apparantly off playing that War something computer game with her husband and won't be here so much for awhile. Bummer!
That's what I said, but she says it is their quality time together so they can shout at each other all evening over the Warcraft game LOL
We should all learn how to play it and go bother her!
That would be funny, especially if she didn't know we had all secretly learned to play it and we just 'arrived' one day en masse.
AG, VP has posted a reply to you on my Christ Hub if you haven't seen it already.
I once dated a guy for a couple of years and we were actually considering getting married. As time went on, I was finding him to be very jealous and controlling. One night he called me and we got into a fight. A few nights later, he called and asked me did I want to get back with him. I was on the fence and told him I'd have to think about it. About an hour or so after I hung up, I thought, I know, I'll go to his house and surprise him. Off I go,,,,as I was driving there I was starting to get nervous for some reason. Anyway, when I pulled into his driveway there was another car there. A lot of times he kept his house unlocked, but I knew where the key was so it didn't matter. I go to the door, try it and it's open. The house was dark. I walked down the hall to his room, flung his bedroom door open, flipped on the light, and lo and behold, I caught two deer in the headlights! Both of them stark naked. I felt at that moment, after hurling expletive deletives that I was living an actual soap opera. She said nothing and he was stuttering and stammering away, and I said are you F***G kidding me? You want me back? Forget it buddy, stick with your little bar whore, you deserve each other LOL.
I was shaking when I left. On my drive home all I could say to myself was girl, you are truly living in a soap opera. He ended up marrying her and then got divorced 5 years later. As far as I know he's still single. Poor dear :)
'What goes around, comes around' as they say Trish. Poetic justice.
Trish: Nice to see you. I think you were a little hard on the guy. I mean, if he wanted to invite a couple of deer in from the cold woods and let them sleep in his bed, that just shows his love for animals. Especially deer that can talk, as those are pretty rare. I'm sure he would send the deer back to the woods in the morning and change the sheets. Just goes to show you, no good deed goes unpunished.
mm be brave and go with the double dare - I think that the idea for your new hub is really really good!
Misty - love the Gaylord!
Trish what an ace ratbag - that really takes the cake but as you caught them at it - so to speak - like deer in headlights so that saved you lots of future heartache, didn't it? good thing you knew about the key - i wonder if he changed his no I mean it's hidey hole after that? ...lol.-
but re. the deer AG dare I - go near sheep and New Zealanders? best not I guess.
Trish -- I hope her name wasn't Bambi because that kind of would give Bambi a bad name. The movie The Deer Hunter was on the other night. I like your story even better:-).
Wow you guys I go out and look at all the fun I've missed.
ej not if you want the wrath of Lizzie on your head. LOL
Yep I'd say you're right ag - won't go there! lol stirred the p a little over at the Anti-C
ej the party over there is as good as this one. But we know we are only jokin'
Well, I am anyway!
So weres it at today?
me too
Brrrr, its getting really creepy over there now we have the Koran boys in town?
*enters singing in the manner of Spryte* "The Koran Boys are back in town, the Koran boys are back in town" (to the tune of that Tin Lizzy song from whenever -- 80s maybe).
I am afraid, vewwy afraid to go and see. It was getting pretty weird when I last checked in. Mostly just came to say g'night to my two mates, Ag and Ajcor. G'night!
MM I didn't know you could sing that well!
What a coincedence I know that song as "The one eyed jacks are back in town" see what the Koran boy says.
Goodnight MM sleep tight, dont let the anti christ bite!
You're absolutely right Misty. I witnessed poetic justice one other time with yet another boyfriend. My so-called best friend 'stole' him from me, they married, ran into her many years after school, I asked her how's Bob? she said oh we're divorced. Then she inquired how was I, and with a huge smile I responded happily married, thanks :)
Ajcor, yes, it saved me much heartache. That's when I finally believed things happen for a reason. I don't know what he ever did with his hidey hole however, lol. The one for the key I mean :)
MM, lol, no her name wasn't Bambi. In fact, it was Pat, the same as mine. Ugh! she gave my name a bad name lol. Glad you liked the story however :)
Christoph, you nut! LOL LOL. I guess it was rutting season :) Deer that could talk? well, poor lil Bambi was struck mute apparently. And he showed me what an animal he really was. So you see Chris, sweet lil Trish has her moments. You need to read my latest hub, Keep Your Mouth Shut, or, What Not to Say. There you will read about another incident I found myself in. Nice to see you too!
Ajcor, great hub, thumbs up!
In response to a comment about a zillion comments ago. Married women do cheat. I have experience of this and yes I do think they are better at concealing it. However I will be the first to admit that men, in general, carry on oblivious as to what is going on around them. Also I think women cheat when they are flattered by the attention given to them, as once they have children, housework and a hardworking spouse they don't always feel that attractive or even desireable. A sneaky flattering handsome (or sometimes not so handsome) charmer can charm the birds out the trees and into bed!
Oh my, I've missed so much.
AG and AJ, about the rooster, I was sending a secret message to Chris, I mean to my secret hub affair person and the meaning is lost now because....
Christoph, *sniffle* first it's a cat sleeping on your laptop, then it's something about a word processing thingamaboo, and then you're busy 'changing your oil', I don't know what to think except that maybe you're cheating. The hub affair is over. *sniff, snort, blowing nose, wiping tears* However, you did respond with the correct top secret response about a derelict something or other, so I suppose we can work through this. But don't tell anybody next time. ;) LOL
MM...koran boys...ROFL, and you do sing quite well. ;)
Trish, nice to meet you. What a horrible experience! I think you handled things quite well. He's lucky to be walking straight and not talking all soprano-like. Sounds like he got exactly what he deserved. Sorry you had to experience something like that though. :(
Hi Pam,
Same here. Thanks for the sympathy :)
I think I was so shocked that all I could really think to do other than causing violence was to use every foul word I ever learned LOL.
Hi all
just got back from a night out to find lots of great comments -
ag & mm - when you say the koran boys are back in town - do they make themselves known regularly on the religious hubs? Loved Shadesbreath's points on logic and the importance of rhyming in order to achieve knowledge! g'night ag & mm - another day will dawn tomorrow and I am sure it will be just perfect weather for stirring the possum!
Trish thanks for the thumbs up! your second story is pretty good but the first one is better - from a storytelling point of view of course!
yes sixtorso you can most definitely see how a lowlife can take advantage of a woman who is bogged down in the humdrum life she thought she would like ! so she cheats and he cheats and the sordid pattern emerges! thanks again for commenting.
Sorry Pam that your "hub love" affair has been cut down before it even managed to get off the ground - what with cats, words and personal oils being attended to Christoph has had a busy week! he probably needs to rest lol
Trish - shame you didn't have a bucket of icy cold water on hand to dampen their ardour - altho a very angry girlfriend probably worked quite well I would have thought!! I hope you are in possession of a truly fine "blue" vocabulary.......
cheers all
LOL ajcor! Brief indeed. :)
Sixty, sorry to hear you had a woman who cheated on you. :( She obviously didn't deserve you. :)
ajcor, my last comment was written in haste (i was in im's w/my mommy), and I forgot to write in with the over-dramatization that I normally love:
Yes, the hub affair was brief. In fact, it only lasted seconds after I discovered it was happening at all. *said with one lonely tear rolling down my cheek and dropping onto my still heaving bosom from sobbing uncontrollably, then sliding into my supposed cleavage that is only an illusion made possible by Victoria's Secret*
Agvulpes: I hear the Koran Boys are slowly taking over the Bloods and the Crips turf with their brutal Koran thumping arguments.
MM: The Boys are Back in Town by Thin Lizzie, but your words are better and you sing better too.
ajcor: Ratbag? Such language!
Trish: I look forward to reading about this mystery Trish who chews tobacco, spits, and curses like a sailor.
Now, now, Pam, I can document all of my claims. I was definitely truly engaged in all the activities reported and have the documents to prove it (though I too have just learned of our affair but it sounds cheerio to me - or as the kids say, "It's all good." ) You know there could never be another other woman. You are the only other woman in my life for lo these last 5 minutes. And then the Captain grabbed her with his manly arms, the muscles straining against the fabric of his shirt. He held her close and tight, her deep breaths creating a dramatic rising and falling of her bosom as the sinew sppeared in his neck, pulling her closer, closer, her defenses weakening like a sandcastle in the wake of lust, his mouth finding her sweet, full lips as his tongue gently explored the warm, moist interior of her pie hole, until she excaimed in feminine servitude, "Accckkk."
LOL Christoph....*frantically fanning self to extinguish the flames of raw unbridled passion over the Captain's exploits*
What were we talking about? Who's hub is this? Who am I? I better go change the oil. Can women do that?
Christoph - you have the brief!!! the lines - the words - the poetic license you have appropriated and made your very own I just know you are secretly writing for Mills and Boon - bet that pays more than *adsense* !
And CR a critique I found on the net - I really like the way as a writer you took the reader on a rollercoaster from the dark romanticism of lust and love to the basics of a woman's *piehole* - I really think this illustrates your salient points quite nicely - I further wonder how the object of your manly erupting sinews finally managed to allay her weakening defenses against such an onslaught of fine words!!!
Pam fyi I think oil adds fuel! it's all good is right!!! cheers
Pam and Christoph are not going to need any additional lubricants such as oil by the sounds of things, so Christoph's oil change may prove to have been completely unecessary!! :)
no misty - it's too late, it's in the system - But ya know oyels is oyels! and new oyels is better - esp. for performance enhancement, one needs a good restorative for the basic engine and all that mechanical stuff that goes on under the bonnet!
ROFLMAO Misty and ajcor! Thumbs up about those oyels. ;) It's amazing how similar some things are to each other...cars and, um, well, you know...other things.
*quickly flashing what's under my bonnet*
Well this is a great hub, and I must say I've had a few cheaters. I would also like to add another good hint..
If your husband/lover/partner gets frequent phone calls that "Joe" has a flat or "Bill's" car has broken down and tells you that you don't need to come, you need your rest. Then returns four hours later because "Joe" didn't have the car jack..
Men.. ugh lol
Pam I'm glad you appreciated my mechanical knowledge - it's been finely honed over the years - TG for husbands and brothers. lol. cheers.
Pam I just did a little re-read and I think you also might be in the pay of Mills and Boon - correct?
southerngirl5848 - Have added your input to the list of signs! - thanks for your input.
Well Pam, you should be okay if he has plenty of grease on his axle and his propshaft is fully functional. In fact all you will probably need to do is give it a good buffing up with a chamois leather and your on to a winner. :)
misty - I ask you what more could a girl ask for than a fully functioning propshaft?.
ajcor...hmmm, I regret to say that I don't know what a Mills and Boon is. Is that like one of those Harlequin romance novels?
Misty...ROFL...is a chamois leather something I can wear? Does it come with a whip? One more question....what the heck is a propshaft? Is that like a poopshoot? LOL! Sorry, I couldn't resist. *blush*
Southerngirl, you hint is a good one. Making note of it. ;)
Pam - if harlequin writing consists of "heaving breasts and manly chests" then the answer is yes.
Chris and Pam my compliments. That would have to be the quickest "quicky" I never saw.
Can't stay just dropped in for a *quicky* gotta go out today catch up later.
ajcor, LOL, thanks for clearing that up and you bet it does! Lots of heaving, throbbing, and sinewy type things. I think Chris earns top billing for that style of writing. ;)
agvulpes, LOL! I'm not so sure about these 'on the down low' quick quickies...they're so darned quick.
what do they say- "it's the quick or the dead"?
LOL, I suppose you could wear a Chamois leather Pam, but it wouldn't cover much. You would probably end up looking a bit like Racquel Welch in that really old dinosaur movie. (A chamois is a small pice of soft deer skin used to polish cars or clean windows etc).
You had better check out a Propshaft on the Internet or things could get messy if you get it wrong :) :)
As for the whip, no a chamois doesn't come with one, but I guess you could use the fanbelt instead.
AH! Yes Misty, I think I must run out and buy one of those chamois things to wear around the house. It sounds like it will come in handy for a multitude of tasks...to wear as a Raquel Welch outfit, to dust furniture, and to buff the car or whatever else pops up - and i think i can do it all without ever having to take it off. ;) lol!
ROFLMAO about the fanbelt! Gosh, why didn't I think of that? You're good! :) I'm off to check out a propshaft now.
Aj,
I'm not too sure just how blue my vocabulary is. Let's just say I've heard worse :)
Christoph,
Cursing, yup, I do that. Chewing, spitting? I hardly think so! bleccchhh!! However, on the other hand, maybe I should try my hand at that, and learn how to spit in a spitoon from 40 feet away. Heck, had I known how to do that, I coulda spit in the poor little 'deer' eyes :)
Pam: I'll check your oil with my dipstick, and if it's low I'll have to fill it up with some viscous fluid.
Misty: I used to have that picture of Raquel Welch on my bedroom wall for years and years (in fact, it's still there). Yow! Can't wait to see you in one, Pam, and all of you if you want to join in! My manhood pulses in eager anticipation.
Trish: You probably could have kicked her butt if you threw the first punch!
Trish! It's all coming together for me now. I just replied to a comment you left me, and my brain was melting trying to remember where all I've seen you today! Sorry! I've enjoyed reading your comments on various hubs through the day, and I'll be checking out your hubs in the morning. I'm pooped.
Christoph, lol, yes, I've seen that picture too, although it wasn't hanging on my bedroom wall. Frankly, I am feeling a little low on oil, so make haste man!
Manhood pulsing in eager anticipation...you DO read Harlequin don't you? Or that Boones Farm, er, Boons Mill or was it Mills Boon that ajcor was talking about. I could really have some fun with that, but I'm turning in for the night.
Thanks for the fun you all. :)
LOL Chris! I sure would like to think that!
It's ok Pam, really. I know how exhausting hubbing can get LOL
I seem to have missed the party here guys.
Great hub ajcor.
Gwendymom! I saw you message. How are you? And when you arrive, the party starts anew!
Christoph, I am good, tired and stressed, but good. Aww, you are too sweet.
G-mom! We have all missed you so. Welcome back. Time for a new party thread. I've gotta go out for a coupla hours but will check back in later. Have fun. Hugs from MM. Hey Christoph -- hugs to you too (I'm feeling huggy tonight).
MM, I have missed you guys too. Glad to be back. I will be on for a little while, but have to turn in early. I will have the kids I watch back tomorrow and am still trying to catch up on sleep and rest.
Great to have you back Gwendy, hope your sister is okay now :)
Christoph, can I assume your invitation for all of us to wear Chamois leathers did not include the likes of Ag and sixtyorso???
Pam I am still laughing as I swear I thought you replied to Misty saying you were going to use the chamios to dust the cat! a reread advised it was the car not the cat - I think that skimpy little bit leather that barely covers you should look quite smart really!
MM hugs to you also - hugs are good!!!!!
Trish - learning to spitoon? - is that like learning to spit pips without the manly noises?
Welcome back Qwendymom - it's been a bit quiet without you - hope all has well with your sister.
Goodnight to all those of you who need their beds!!! should mention that I think that ag and 60orso would look great in leavers...... it shouldn't just be a girl thing!!! cheers
LOL Ajcor, yes, they would be like really cute 'Tarzans', but it worries me that Christoph might want to see them like that
" Yow! Can't wait to see you in one, Pam, and all of you if you want to join in! My manhood pulses in eager anticipation."
Scary thought :)
Gm: Well, you know how I feel.
MM: Thanks! i feel so hugged today (it must be that nasty romance novel stuff - I'll have to do that more often.
Misty and ajcor: Regarding other male invitees, I think women get a little irritated when they arrive at a soiree and find that it's a bunch of women and me (I know, I have finagled this very thing in the past). As to who they are, I will leave to you, as I have no intention of getting anywhere near them - especially if they are wearing chamois cloths like Raquel Welch. I do know two fellas who have expressed an interest though: Pepe and the Captain!
*does a sneaky peek a la spryte* Hmm that PePe la pew and Captain Poke a mungtus are trying to corner all the action, I'll just have to get with sixty and work out an alternate plan. (minus the loin cloth).
Hello Gmom welcome back as all the others said "missed ya" (hugs).
MM hi I see your still stirring em up over in the "Ark" its turned into a bit a joke!
Hi guys. Sorry I was away for awhile, I had to take a shower and cook some malt-o-meal and toast. Yummy!
Misty and Ag, Thanks, I missed you guys too.
Gmom please explain Malt-o-meal ?
I knew you would ask that. Hmmm, it is a hot wheat breakfast cereal. I am not sure how else to explain it. I found a link to it's website. I still don't know if that explains it any better.
Misty/AG I think that iincluding CR's friends (?) PePe la pew and Captain Poke along with you, AG and 60orso should make it quite a party - a bit of a dust up. haha
Has anyone seen Spryte? See doesn't seem to have been around lately.
btw, who is captain poke?
Spryte has been off playing the expansion version of Warcraft with her Husband so they get quality time shouting at each other GW. LOL
GM Captain Poke appears to be the name given to CR's friend Captain by ag.
Gmom that looks like porridge. Might go well with some sultanas and honey?
Let me see who is captain poke, aka captain pokamongus ,aka pepe, aka pepe la pew, (not to be confused with PP, that's me compliments of MM ) aka pres, aka Chris, aka Christoph Reilly.
Did I miss any?
Ag, now it s your turn to explain sultanas. I think you covered it, I don't think he has anymore aliases.
Gmom, if you haven't eaten sultanas you haven't lived, especially our OZ grown variaties. I have em on just about anything.
have a look at the web site:
Ag, those look good, they would probably go great with my malt=o=meal and toast.
Looks like sultanas is just a fancy term for raisins? Maybe cuz they're made from a very specific variety of Thompson grape?
I will have some sultanas in my cabana, please, Pepe!
MMmmmmm. Malt-o-meal and Suntanas.
Have we all given up on discussing the antichrist? I see Shades is engaged in a nice respectful dialogue with Lita. What else is shaking besides this breakfast-themed thread?
Jess, right away Senorita MM
MM the only resemblance they have to raisins is they are both born of grapes.
They are fat and juicy and very sweet.
Gmom when I have porridge I always have sultanas.
swmbo makes a mean Bread and Butter Pudding, with bread and butter (naturally) layered with blackberry/strawberry jam, and heaps of sultanas, baked.
Beeeaautiful!
Ag, I wish I had some, maybe I can get pepe on that, he couls stop by on his way to MM's cabana.
I hadn't eaten malt-o-meal in a long time but when I was at the hospital I had some and remember how much I used to love it as a kid. I always have it with toast so that I can dip my toast in it, it tastes great.
The bread and butter pudding sounds delish. But how does it all hang together? Doesn't the butter melt? Is there some sort of custard that binds the ingredients (that's how our bread pudding is made). I will have to look and see if we can get sultanas here. I would imagine so -- living in the heart of the Sacramento Valley and near Napa/Sonoma, we have grapes galore.
Hubby's calling. Time to sign off. Sweet sultana dreams all. Hugs again, MM
See ya, MM. We had oatmeal or grits with butter and honey.
Goodnight MM, Ajcor, Ag, and CR. It is well past my bedtime too. Have a good night all and sweet dreams.
CR, I use two spoons of sugar, butter and milk.
OK ......what's grits?
Good night ladies!
Yea, I forgot about milk, and sugar sometimes too.
Ag, grits are a finely ground corn meal, and they make a hot bowl of something very much like cream of wheat, oat meal, etc. Grits are from the Southern U.S. You probably have quaker oats corn meal there. Thats all, but we call them grits. (They do make special boxes milled expecially for grits, but they're pretty much the same). If you have had Italian polenta, that's grits (only fancier).
Chris I get the 2minute oatmeal from the Aldi store and nuke it up in the microwave, add milk, honey and those famous sultanas, you got yourself a great little breakfast that will last you all day. Well at least till lunch.
Aj? what are pips? And what manly sounds are you referring to, hmm?
It is past breakfast time here and I make my oats the same way as AG does.
In South Africa grits are called Mielie Meel (A mielie is a maize corn ear) and we have yellow and white versions depending on the colour of the corn. It has been a staple food here for years and can be made stiff and served at a BBQ (we call it a braai) or made into a bread or served as porridge. It is called Pap an is often served stiff with a piece of sausage called boerewors (farmers sausage) made from ground beef , coriander, brown vinegar, salt and pepper with ground or finely chopped pork fat, which covered in atomato and onion gravy.
Just stopping in quickly and can't catch up on everything, but...
ajcor, you're a real sport for letting us have so much fun at your hub. Thanks! :)
Trish, thanks for understanding. :)
MM, I gave up on the whole anti-christ discussion and wish I had never commented about Ark possibly having a sense of humor, which I believed at that moment (a very brief moment), but it's obviously untrue. : /
If christoph and ag get to have an alias/alternate persona or whatever, then I want one too! I think mine will be ChiChi Chamois. :D
Hi all - computer is now back on after the storm last night - when lightening is involved she always goes off as I have already lost one tower to this little problem! Hope everyone is either sleeping or has slept well.
ag glad you asked about the grits - it has been one of those great unanswered questions. your nuked oats with add ons sounds like something hwmbo would like.
Christoph - thanks for telling us about grits,from it's name I thought it had small pebbles sprinkled through, it for you know roughage or some such! I used to eat polenta when married first time around but someone else cooked it - must cook it someday.
60orso - like the sound of that sausage "boerewors" - your farmers sausage - do make or buy that?
MM If you want I will find you an old fashioned recipe for the bread and butter pudding- great winter pudding along with lemon delicious and Queen pudding all old fashioned numbers. re. sultanas they are bigger, fatter juicier versions of the raisin.
Trish - the pips I refer to are the cherry pips we used (as kids) to spit usually at garden walls to see who could spit the furthest - did i ever say I have 4 older brothers!
thanks Pam - Fun is always goood - my pleasure nice to see you all, welcome anytime. I have been looking in on the anti-christ discussion but after I put in my 2 bob's worth decided it just wasn't for me particularly as I saw someone on the "other" site who is a wee bit bull headed with their comments. So publicly unfair - this whole concept of possible, future blame for someone who has not even got his foot in the water yet.
what about chouxchoux chamois? cheers
Ah, maybe Chi Chi will do the "Dance of the 7 Chamois". No!, You have to earn your reputation. I'm sure PePe, MM and aj would agree.
MM the ingredients I missed on the bread and butter pud was eggs and milk.
Sixty will you explain what "biltong" is please?
I so agree ajcor. Plus, all that judging drives me crazy. ChouxChoux?! LOL! I guess that depends on if you mean the pastry or that part of France that I know nothing about. LOL! I suppose being a pastry would be ok, but I'm afraid I might get stale rather quickly and that won't do. ;)
Ag...ROFL, Dance of the 7 Chamois....how clever! I'll, er, I mean, she'll probably need about 7 of em to keep the bonnet covered and warm these days. It's cold here. But....alright already, I'll do what I can to help ChiChi earn her reputation. ;)
sounds good - "Dance of the 7 Chamois". to earn your rep!!
Hi Aj,
Just to let you know. I lost my Auntie in Benalla last night. Very sad. She was quite elderly, but I'd hoped she'd be around for a while longer.
Glad to see your hub still going strong. I just popped my head in at the Anti-Christ hub myself. It's easy to get drawn in to the debate, but fairly pointless at the same time. I hope Mr O. makes a really good job of things so that they have to eat their words.
I am sorry Amanda about your Auntie - It's a shame you missed seeing her. Do you have other rels. there such as cousins? Hope you manage to get there.
I am certainly in agreement with you re Mr. Obama - and I am sure he will be a wonderful President. When I last looked they were all on about the 6 and it's relevance to the Mr. O!!! cheers.
Hi Aj,
Yes, I have cousins in Sheppaton who I have never met, but do keep in touch with. I hope to get out there one day, maybe when the children are older.
I really like Mr O too and I think he'll do a grand job. They need a bit of a shake-up, and hopefully he's the man to do it!!
Amanda, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. :( It's never easy. Being with and around family does help. My thoughts are with you.
Hmmm, I had prepared a dance, but it looks like now isn't the best time, so I'll save it. ;)
Amanda - Be good if you could manage a trip out here and Shepparton is a nice town - not very big but a farming community which is usually fun -
Pam The dance of 7 chichi chmaois wasn't it? why don't you utube it and we can put it on the hub and tick it or flick it - just so you know we always have your best interests at heart!!!
Hi Aj and Pam,
Thank you for your kind thought re my Auntie, and please feel free to dance the 7 chichi chmaois. I look forward to seeing it on Youtube!
Hi Amanda, you're welcome, and thank you for having such confidence in my dance. lol! Actually, I was planning on simply writing the dance in the style we discussed earlier on this thread to allow ChiChi an opportunity to earn her rep to be an alias. But I'll wait to get the green light from the hubmaster here cause I don't want to create an inappropriate distraction at the wrong time. ;)
Darn, see what I get for not reading HubPages until early in the morning? Have been playing the WoW expansion (same one Spryte's playing, although not on the same server as she is) with MY hubby.
Another sign of cheating: introducing you to a lady at a party, and introducing her as "my friend". Although, some guys use that term anyway for everyone. And another: (for single people in a relationship) not calling you or wanting to come over, then showing up at any hour wanting to stay the night (although in that case, you're perhaps the one he's cheating with instead, but may not know it).
Goodness! makes me feel happy i trust my Husband to be!!!
I once took care of a little girl and her Dad starting calling me to tell me he would be late picking her up and then when he did come he was dressed very nice and smelled like musk after shave. (Which I hate it always makes me feel kind of sick.) so I would notice everytime he had it on. I told my husband that I was sure this man was cheating. I didn't tell his wife she was a friend and I just don't do that kind of thing and I had no real proof.
Good way to lose friends tell them their husband is cheating or their kids are taking drugs.
Well, he was cheating and another thing he did, she found out he had his own post office box. Maybe now days that wouldn't happen so much with email but it is a thing to look into.
Enjoyed your hub.
Amanda - eating words is always good!
Pam I look forward to seeing your "dance of 7 chichi's chmaois - especially as you will be writing it!! should prove to be most illuminating! my utube idea was just a shot in the dark...... quite apart that most distractions are always good.
KT pdx - will add your *sign of the cheater* to the list above - thanks for dropping in!
J_Eds I am really glad for you - it's nice to know that there honourable people around - of course a few of us here on hub pages {men and women) have broken through the painful wall of lies and found new partners who are quite trustworthy. So this hub is really just a bit of fun with a hint of steel running through it!
moonlake will add your potential signs to the list - thank you . Yes I have noticed you cannot be too honest ( even when you mean it in the best possible way) with your friends - although people have been known to say later - you should have told me!- it's a bit of a toss up really. Thanks for your words.
cheers
That is so tough moonlake, to tell a friend or not tell a friend. :( What an awful feeling. You feel bad if you don't and even worse if you do.
ajcor, I decided the best way to share the dance was to hub it. lol! It's just a brief little thing for a laugh, and i'm about ready to click the publish button. ;)
Announcement - Bells Ringing - For bit of fun and the further adventures of chichi - go see her dance of the 7 chamois leathers - http://hubpages.com/hub/ChiChi-Chamois-and-the-Dan
Hey, after I read these comments I am now wondering what happened to the group shower?
Christoph, you have some splaining to do!
I just noticed the ad at the bottom of this hub, haha!
I might have to check it out.
I think it may have been my fault Gwendy, I got stuck in the plughole and the shower overflowed :)
Misty, how the hell did you get stuck in the plughole? I guess a better question would be what got stuck in the plughole, never mind, I don't want to know, ok, maybe I do.
Damn, the add is gone.
Gwendy: Do you mean the ad with the handsome guy saying "I'll treat you like a queen?" Hate to tell you, he's talking to his boyfriend. As for the group shower, I thought pam was going to dance the dance of the 7 chamois at it. As far as I know, it is still a GO!
Hi, Spryte! Toodles, Spryte!
Spryte just gave a quick flash and left. Darn her!
CR, don't ruin it for me.
I think Pam has already done the dance!
Let's get the party started!
Well Gwendy, I am a bit skinny, so I tend to get washed away :)
Gm - I missed the ad - must have been a flash in the pan!...
Christoph : Hurry or you may miss ChiChi's dance of the 7 chamois - she is on now at http://hubpages.com/hub/ChiChi-Chamois-and-the-Dan
she had trouble with her cleavage but it's all ok now she got the lighting guy to fix it for her.....lol
Misty if there is a slim chance of you slipping away you should maybe give the group shower a miss - Christoph wouldn't want to have to get the plumber out to disentangle you from his drain hole. maybe a group hug would suit you better - especially as MM was talking earlier about soaps on ropes and washing toes etc - seems to be an accident in the making -
btw how big is your shower recess Christoph - could you fit all your friends in it???
cheers.
Well CR, the readers want to know, how big is your shower?
MM, still got your soap?
Who has the tequila?
Gm Not Tequila - but what about a pisco sour? they can blow the ceiling of the shower no trouble! whooooosh!
Not sure what a pisco sour is AJ.
Yes, I still have my soap on a rope. I've been saving it and waiting oh so patiently (don't worry tho, I have been showering, just not using that particular soap). So... is tonight really the night? Where's Ag? We can't have a group soap grope with just one gent (even though Chris aka Pepe is very gentlemanly).
I wonder if we can get Shades in the shower too, I might like to scrub his spinal cord.
Hi all. My shower will require some enlarging, but if I knock down this one wall, I can open it up into the dining room, which I would tile and put a drain in the floor, and then add several shower heads around the dining room, and then a couple more water heaters (oh, no) so lets see....25 minutes?
ok CR, I will be waiting patiently.
Cr that is so good - we had our bathroom redone last year - took about 5 months so 25 minutes is really quite impressive - have you employed the Captain and Pepe as your workers? should end up looking ....interesting? maybe end looking like the Roman Baths.
sorry mm your wait is not over yet! Cr has generously offered to carry out renovations so that the party can come to him ....have soap will travel..
GM Pisco Sour comes from deepest darkest Peru - it's a great drink that involves champagne glasses with their rims coated with sugar and then frozen. Pisco - a peruvian white brandy- combined with egg white, lemon juice, sugar syrup and ice -then shaken up in a cocktail shaker or a liquidiser so that the egg white emulsifys and the ice breaks up - you certainly wouldn't want to have more than one of these drinks! but they are brilliant - haven't had one for years but will break out the pisco for Christmas I think.
cheers
Ok aj, sounds good, as long as there is alcohol involved. Where is that CR? has it been 25 minutes yet. And I see that ag is out and about now. We only need to round up Shades and Spryte now.
CR, we are waiting.
CR - GM is waiting - I can hear her feet tapping from over here!!
LOL! and yes they are tapping. I think MM might have abandoned us.
Ok, I can't wait any longer. I have to go to bed or I might get arrested for typing under the influence.
Have a good night aj, Sweet dreams to you!
Whew! Ok! I am done! Got a big jacuzzi in the center of the room, with showers all around, with one wall solid glass (that we can see out of but no one can see in) overlooking the woods and the moon above. Ready?
sweet dreams to you GM - don't let the bugs bite ya!!
Are you a miracle worker CR or what!!!and in 25 minutes the whole she-bang.....congratulations ....seriously ...good job
Well, let's just say I was inspired!
Puff puff puff. This little PP has been so busy. I may have to take a rain check on the shower. Sorry Chris I'll just have to leave you to look after the lovely ladies on your own but I'm pretty sure you are more than captainable. I've got a spare crank shaft if you need one!
inspired - i would agree - a loo with a view!
hi ag - as we are not even on the right continent so we'll just have to take their word that the water is the right temperature, the view works, the moon shines, CR has had the water connected and that MM has her soap on a rope quite apart from them all endeavouring not to lose Misty down the plug hole - and I guess CW will have to organise the first man into the first shower or not - she may not approve her president inviting womin into to take a bath in his dining room - well we will wait as it all unfolds before us........ and as an aside where does this leave chichi chamois - she will need room to dance with pepe!!!
The continent thing is no problem. Go to USA and take a right (west). Go left (south) to Missouri. Straight down to St. Louis. Then go east to the St. Louis Arch and take a right. I'm right there and I'll be watching for you.
OK got that, now was that , St.Louis Arch right! got that now right! right!
Now where is that dude with the hat ? Can you see him aj ? aj where ARE you?
Where is everybody? Hey it's dark in here! Is anyone there?
Yeah there is LOL Was still reading the comments:)
Ever found a bill for a present you didn't recieve?
No. Have you?
'Sure I did:)
Darn! That must have been a drag!
An ABSOLUTE dead give away, a love bite where you know you never ever would place one.
sorry ag - just stepped out of the room for a minute - as a matter of a fact I was playing a word game!
The St Louis Arch you said - and it's dark - what are we to do?? but it's ok really CR is watching out for us.
Lazur that is really rude - bit like the flowers on MY not OUR store account that were given to someone else - nice
and as for that love bite just-rodney that is plain rude... have to add to the list up above to see how many signs we can have at the end of the day!
cheers
Yes it was a tad bit rude, but never cheat with a VAMPIRE, or someone with long nails or nails that are chipped, you might might accidently be branded, by he/she.
just - rodney to me that is scary - a Vampire - for real?
Wow Just-Rod a Vampire you say, and a love bite. And your still with us. Makes one shudder it do, and me being here in the dark and all!
Nope, but a friend of mine, related an intersesting story of sneaking off to a drive-in, with his outside interest, while they where necking some one walked past the car and banged against the window, well he had some teeth marks on his shoulder where it joins his neck. Two of the teeth actually punctured the skin.
He jokingly said it was just as well this happened when it did and not fiveteen minutes later.
No this is not one of those "friend" stories, it did not happen to me!
Where have you guys been? I've been waiting in the front yard to flag you down. Oh, well, Maybe we can get organized tomorrow. I have to go rest (to build up my stamina). Good night.
Ok just turning into Chris's street now. aj keep your eyes open for the flag, I'm sure Chris said he would wait?
You throw one killer party ajcor!
Gwendy, if you get to wash Shades' spinal cord, can I watch? lol!
Misty, i still want to know how you got stuck in a drain hole!
Chris, that wasn't the moon you saw earlier, it was chichi's behind. She was hoping it would help speed up that shower renovation. ;)
ChiChi rides her propshaft into the room wearing nothing but a candy necklace, soap on a rope, and a full moon.
"Copteeen, eeeeat my candy" she exclaims - hoping he will then lick the sweet residue that will inevitably drool onto her volumous breasts which are heaving yet once again in anticipation of upcoming soap games. She looks around for the shower party, and everyone appears to be asleep. "Ack!" she says. "Party poop-pares!" She runs off to get her fan belt, then remembers it's hiding in what she likes to call...her moon pie. Content to leave it there, she turns to leave and says, "I'll be bock wiz more condy sings to wear on my booody!"
LOL, I shall bring my water wings to avoid sliding down the plughole, I really am too skinny by far and I might never be seen again if I got down into the drainage system.
Ok, several times I saw the action on this hub, came to play but ran away figuring I needed to wait till I had time to catch up on all the comments. But since the ChiChi dance hub was so funny, now I have finally come and caught up reading through all of this, and, I should have done it a long time ago. Sheesh. The comments were as much fun, albeit immensely longer, as the hub.
I'll just jump in by saying that, when the time comes, my spinal cord is very dirty and will require a thorough and vigorous scrubbing, likely of the "rinse and repeat" variety, and I can only recommend that Pam actually assist Gwendy rather than watch, as the task of washing the filth from my brain and it's dangling parts is a task worthy of at least two.
Oh, and Christoph, I seriously LOL'ed at the deer thing. That was fantastic.
ag - Are we there yet????
CR did you say you were wearing a flag or waiting to flag? - seems we're nearly there - ag keeps asking whether I can see you yet - he looking for dude in a hat - where are you? - my navigation skills leave a lot to be desired - Oh NO I am so sorry I forgot the soap, and I left the iron on now I'll have to go home and get it!!! lol
Misty - My God you could end up in China - Wait your water wings are a really good idea - I have been SO worried about the possibility of this happening to you!!
Pam - Lucky you sorted out poor chichi's propshaft problem - so she'll be riding it not actually wearing it - good save! That's one big bottom she has - you know what with the moon confusion n'all. Pam don't worry about Misty in the plug hole - it hasn't happened yet - and she has a really good idea - she'll be wearing very attractive water wings....lol
ag - Are we there yet????
Just-Rodney - that love bite location could have had quite serious consequences if the timing had been off - so to speak. Glad your friend lives to play another day!!!
Hi Shades - welcome back to the party - no show without punch as they say - and yes those dangly bits can get you into a heap of trouble if not rinsed properly....I think Pam could ask ChiChi to help with your rinsing task ...?
but ag and I have a problem -still no CR and we are lost at St Louis Arch....
Ajcor...dangly bits, ROFL! I found out something interesting when I was looking for a link to Harlequin (for those who may not know what it is) and it turns out that Halequin Enterprises bought Mills and Boon (is that right? I always want to put it backwards.) in the 1960's. Interesting. Although I didn't take the time to read the whole thing, so I don't know what happened after that.
Oh good! I get to help Gwendy with the spinal cord washing! :D
ChiChi says, "Well, well Mon-sewer Shades, is zat your spinal cord or are yew just happy tew seeee meeee?"
Tell ChiChi I said, "Yes."
I will pass it on to her - she will be verry happee to see yew!!!
ChiChi enters wearing her chamois and smelling of cheap perfume and expensive merlot. She spots Shades looking especially manly yet submissive with his dangly bits hanging about. One hand reaches out to grab his foaming beer, and she pours it over the front of her chamois which immediately clings to her breasts outlining every curve and plastic surgery scar. The coldness of the beer makes the special womanly bits of her breasts look particularly perky considering the lighting is so poor, but that's a good thing.
She runs one trembling hand up his warm, throbbing muscular arm and says, "Take me spinal cord man ond make crazy preying mantis passion wis me on ze hub floor!"
Shades, with a confused look of horror on his face says, "Ack! You just wasted a perfectly good beer!"
<You'll have to see his hub about wild preying mantis sex.>
Ajcor: Oh, I had you on the radar. You were at a MacDonald's in Arkansas.
Hi, Chi chi.
Oh gosh Chris said America I thought he said "a merry car" .
I've just been through something that looks like a yellow thing shaped like an upside down W. Do you think I'm close yet?
ChiChi drops Shades' arm, gasps, and clutches at one heaving bosom as she hears a manly voice say, "Hi ChiChi." She quickly turns and sees a masculine, manly man in a cowboy hat. She now must clutch both bosoms as she falls to a near faint to entice him to run to her side and catch her soft womanly body in his strong, pulsing, rippling arms of manhood.
"Oh no!" she says with dismay. "I must do ze deesco bowling gig tonight!"
She plans her return when she can resume her swoon and fall into the capable clutches of the cowboy man. "I will ride yew like ze weeend my leetle coopcake!" She blows him a slobbery kiss and glides out the door.
I will return - we have a great storm here!~
Shadesbreath rushes forward and, making a lariat of his spinal cord, throws a lasso of neurons around ChiChi before she can escape, pulling her back to him, the sheer force of his will drawing her to him like a tractor beam of ferocious intellect. She stumbles and feigns resistance for a moment, then succumbs to his urgency. She allows herself to be lured in, and falls against him, her wet bosoms heaving in their shimmering, beer-soaked leather confines.
"Your breasts," Shadesbreath gasps, "They are so..."
"Yes, I know," she pants, cutting him off in her urgency. "They are, aren't they?"
Shadesbreath's eyes bulge as he stares down at her chest, his countenance apoplexy incarnate, his hands fumbling for the laces of her delicate leather top. "I can't bear it," he says, fingers trembling as he frees her from the tawny leather boustier. "At last!" His cry is triumphant and echoes from the rafters high above.
"My God!" she screams... her own eyes wide in a mix of eros and surprise. "Shades, I had no idea you were so... intense."
He looks at her with a querelous eyebrow raised upon his brow. "Really?" He turns and, gripping her leather outfit tightly, wrings it out over his empty beer mug, squeezing nearly half of the spilled beer back out into the glass. He nods, grinning satisfied. "You didnt' think I'd want this back?" He looks over at Agvulpes and shrugs, saying, "Some chicks just don't pay attention, you know?"
This is funny and sadly true. :)
ROFLMAO @ Shades! ChiChi always succumbs herself and her heaving bosoms (wet or dry) to any man with a stiff drink and operating hormones. So, the lasso-ing of neurons wasn't necessary, but she sure did like it. :) You're pretty darned good at that too. lol!
*making mental note to tell ChiChi to NOT screw around w/Shades beer ever*
So this is where you've been hanging out, you lazy, good for nothing, beer swilling rack of bones.
Now get back to moving the lawn, or I'll give you such a kick up the coccyx that it'll make your eyes pop out even more than that chamois wearing harlot's overinflated funbags.
And If I ever catch anyone else washing your spinal chord, or anything else, the beer tap is DEFINITELY getting turned off.
Your loving wife.
CR Arkansas? what do you mean Arkansas? you mean we took a wrong turn! bummer.... ag and I were sure we had the right spot - after we found the upside yellow W fun arches with big clown out the front..... I think you had send more directions - I did mention did I not that I am quite unable to read maps!!! I have a blonde block...
ag are we there yet??
ag where exactly are we??
ag what do you mean there is more than one upside yellow W fun arch over here?
Shadesbreath .. a beer and his man should never be parted ... you really handled yourself with manly grace ... got at least half your beer back complete with the remains the voluptuous chichi's hair product, and Harlequin would be proud...lol
pam... chichi needs urgent advice about men and beer!
Shadesbreath's wife..you're being just a little harsh don't you think -- he had to do something about his beer it was urgent! BTW where are you moving the lawn to? not to CR's place by any chance because ag and I could follow you - we're a bit lost you see ......
Shades as John 'The Duke' Wayne said so elegantly "a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do" or maybe that was Mae West?
btw Shades tell your wife she has SOME mouth, she belongs over on that other Hub.
Moi cherry chi chi.You just can't come between a man and his beer. Especially if his wife has got hold of the "handle".
aj maybe mr and mrs shades have one of those fancy turf growing biznises.?
aj now I am totalling lost. How about we look for a "Yellow Chamois Road" and see if that takes us to the "Leaning Propshaft" of Captain PePe?
aj now I really am lost. going awol for about 10 days or so. If I can grab a puter on the road I'll check in and see how everyone is. So until I see ya . See ya!
Ag. Have a good trip, but don't check out too many strange foxholes - those foreign vixens are even keener than ChiChi with their pointy noses and bushy brushes!
Amanda, thanks for the concern I am taking a very capable bodyguard to keep all those little vixens' back in their own little foxholes. I think she taught Mrs Shades her bag of tricks. Hmm maybe I should go on my own.
No, take Mrs Ag. She's the only one who knows how to keep you under control! In any case didn't you just get back from a road trip with Aj?
Amanda, No thats my alter ego Ag, or was that me , now youv'e got me all confused who the bloody hell am I ? Am I back, did I go, Am I in Kansas yet . Where is that "yellow chamois road". Help aj I'm disappearing down that plug hole with Misty ?
In my best spryte voice as I disappear down the plug hole "Some where over the rain(glug) b b o o w w !!!!!(glug)
In another time in another place. Play it again Sam!
Aw ag I'll be lost forever - I'll just be like a lost soul meandering upside down w's for the rest of time....
in the mean time enjoy your alter ego trip - not going to Kansas are you - you maybe get the real map and help!!!!....lol
Amanda thanks for trying to help me find my way but all of this is bit like the Mad Hatters Tea Party don't you think?
Hi Aj,
It's all totally mad, but great fun. I just did a little more possum stirring on the AC hub. I know I shouldn't even look at it, but it's like a moth to a flame (LOL)
ChiChi enters wearing only a fox tail and a brushy bush thanks to Amanda. She spots Ag lingering about looking terribly hulking and masculine with his Aussie weathered rugged man skin.
"Mon-sewer, I've beeen waiting for yew on ze osser hoob my leeetle down un-daire manz." "Are yew stewed yet?"
He doesn't seem to notice her. Perhaps it's the fox tail that's throwing him off. She then spots the wife of Shades, and after hearing her spew forth many threats assaulting his manhood and beer, ChiChi quickly hides behind ajcor.
"Ugh!" she exclaims, "Yew are tew skeeeny for mois to hide!"
Not one to participate in a cat fight, even though she could probably take the wife down with one blow of her propshaft, she slowly slinks towards the hub exit while making a mental note concerning how Shades is already whipped and the normal 'getting a man drunk to take advantage of him' will not work. Perhaps a mickey will work.
She tosses the fox tail across the room and continues slinking out exclaiming softly to herself with what few brain cells she has left, "Ah, zee spinal cord manz needs zee extra motiva-shee-on of zee meeeky."
ChiChi pops her head back in the hub door once she's sure the wife is properly distracted by the flying fox tail and exclaims with passionate fury:
"Yew weel mow my lawn one day mon-sewer spinal cord manz!"
I don't think she's talking about mowing grass because she lives in a cheap apartment that smells of exhaust fumes creeping up from the dirty streets and cheap frozen pizza that burned in her toaster oven the night before.
LOL I got it, I got it.
Cya when you get back Ag. Have fun.
Shadesbreath then turns to face his wife. He looms menacingly above her, his spinal cord stretching to its fullest height. "Begone, woman. You have dishes to do and laundry to fold. You were not given permission to come out of the house!" He leaps up and snaps his tail in the air; a thundrous whip-crack sounds the room and sends the termagant harpy back to her lair where she belongs.
That chapter put to rest, he turns the page to a more appealing prospect and takes up his beer. Hearing ChiChi's proclamation, he raises a speculative eyebrow and allows himself the luxurous kiss of beer foam upon his lips.
ChiChi is walking slowly down the hall when she stops suddenly in her barefooted tracks as she hears the commanding and enticingly booming manly voice of Shades shouting commands of submission and servitude to his wife. Never before has ChiChi heard such a display of incredibly masculine pulsating vocal cords. She nearly stumbles in her haste to get back in the room where she stands trembling before the very seductively erect manhood spinal cord of Shades. She quickly notices that this vast erectness has possibly herniated a couple of discs, so she runs to his side and begins stroking his chiseled, jutting lower mandible.
“Zaire, Zaire…” She quickly looks at her French dictionary…”Mon sherry.”
He arches one boney brow as she purrs softly like a French kitten in heat into his skull’s ear hole, “Why aire yew wearing my fox tail?”
I'll be sure never to show this hub to my wife. Another tip, when is guy is being extra sweet, that's the number one sign. Or so I heard.
Actually Goldentoad, frequently, a person cheating on a spouse is meaner to them. I believe it has to do with conscience: if you are doing something horrible to someone, you will need to justify it in some way. It is difficult to feel justified in doing harm to someone that you for the most part like, treat well and/or who is treating you well, so, if you begin to treat that person like crap, focusing on any mistakes or minor flaws out of proportion, you can start to feel like you are justified. This becomes even more effective if your spouse starts snapping back, making it much easier to see them in a negative light if you are fighting all the time.
I've seen this behavior frequently in my managerial roles back when I did that sort of thing. I could always tell when an employee was stealing by the sudden appearance of unwarranted hostility. Often done subconsciously, they had no idea that they were waving a big fat red flag when they started over-reacting to stuff that a week or month prior to them beginning their crimes they wouldn't have commented on at all.
...
Shadesbreath, discs un-herniated and unaware of the nature of her concern, turns to ChiChi, and frowns, brows nearly touching above his nose, "Foxtail?" Her eyes move to his mouth, and after a moment, he realizes and licks the beer foam from his moustache.
He lays in her concerned embrace, listening to the delicate feline rumbling in her throat as she purrs. His eyes widen and a compassionate aspect comes upon his face, care and worry and something else. "Hey," he says, in a soft voice, gazing up at her. "ChiChi, did you eat a cat? Because, from here, I have to say it kind of sounds like you did. Either that or you got soda or beer bubbling back on you. You want an antacid or something?"
Looks like I missed a lot around here! I'll never catch up, now!
Just hump ChiChi's leg real fast in that cute way Jackalopes have, and you'll be golden and right in the act. Go check out ChiChi Does a Chamois Leather dance and you'll be pretty much on pace. Christoph just posted a long ass scene that had me in tears I was laughing so hard.
goldentoad - from my experience when the unfaithful one starts wondering how to get out of the house to make an appointment with his/her paramour; he/her will often be a bit of a pig and start fights over the smallest things so that they can stalk out in a huff, knowing of course that they are completely justified in their actions. Amazingly they often appear to be dressed and ready to go out before the actual fight starts!
I am screaming with laughter - breathless in fact !!! loud laughing - this is so good...
ag I guess we won't get there now for quite a few days - what a nightmare "Lost at the Golden Arches"! enjoy your trip real trip ....
Cr where are you? - still in Arkansas at the upside down yello W's - so many houses of fine cuisine and so little time!.... ag suggested that you get Pepe to put up his great leaning propshaft outside for us - just as a leetle sign - we're still looking for the "yellow chamois road" - we're coming - really - just lost in *merry car*!!
Amanda - going to check out the "other" hub for possible possum stirrings!
Pam Just wondering if we should call the doctor about Shades little problem - ..lol "very seductively erect manhood spinal cord of Shades" Is this possible medically speaking? physical abberation maybe! where are you Benson? where is the doctor when you need him???
sorry scrub that i overlooked the fact that Shades has a tail....what!!! ROFL ....so attractive to vixens..and jutting mandibles of course they too are soooo divine!
BT Welcome to the mad house ... jackalopes are good - naturally - are they not? but a question - is their moral code fashioned in a similar vein as ChiChi's? if so it's all good - for chichi - she's a bit if a handful....otherwise unsure how you will be able to handle her antics....
Shades - you should really go carefully with your paramour and her bulging body parts or that beer tap is gunna be turned off - have you moved the grass yet? still need a map to CR's. ag has gone off on a frolic of his own
re. need for antacid "she swallowed the cat who swallowed the rat who chased the mouse...." why don't you send in the dogs?...just a thought.
Mrs. Shades your attitudes has taken a sharp turn downwards from "kick up the coccyx " to being sent to the kitchen while your man drinks beer with a cat swallowing franch vixen - where's your backbone woman.. you are spiralling - get a grip and do your stuff...
Pam chichi is getting a leetle biolent towards Mrs. Shades - poor mrs Shades is going to need some advice on how to deal with this big lipped/boobed vixen. That or psychological help at the end of that day!!!
The door is kicked in with great force, rattling the glass and swinging the framed movie poster from The Man With Two Brains. The poster swung back and forth, visually turning 2 brains into 4, slowing and coming to rest as crooked as a dirty cop. The room smelled of...what was it? Ectoplasm? Formaldehyde? Whatever it was, Swifty the agent didn't like it. It made him think of the hospital that night in San Fran, the dirty streets filled with lonely losers and two-bit sluts advertising their businesses pretty as you please, 1 minute mister is all I need to fix you up, or 5 minutes or 10 minutes or a half-hour if you can afford it because if you got the dough, Trixies gonna go. And go they did, into the alley or the back seat of a strangers car or some flop house that was 5 bucks for a limited stay and "just put that on my tab, Jimmy," and up the stairs they went to the jumbled room, the flashing neon light from across the street pulsing like the steady rhythm of thrusting hips, alone at last, only kept company by a thousand broken dreams and the bedbugs. And as life teemed on the streets, Swifty laid in the hospital on a dirty gurnsy, neglected, bleeding from a belly full of bullets.
He saw the...brain thing on the couch, like a gray mass of liver on a skinned snake with gout, glistening with the ooze of wet pavement in Desperateville, the animal, the thing, shaking in fear. Swifty slowly made his way to the thing. Menancingly, his short, thick brick-chimney body coiled, stubby cigar butt in the corner of his mouth, he moved to the brain thing and slowly placed his foot on the tail-end of the creature.
"Hi, Bub," he said, removing the stub from his mouth and spitting tobacco bits onto the floor. "You seen a broad around here?" The brain thing didn't respond. A warm puddle smelling like amonia heating on the stove spread on the fabric beneath him. Swifty continued, "See, this dame, she's like 5 feet, 6 inches - 6 feet on the nose when she's wearin' heels, big funbags, talks French, looks Spanish? Seen her?" Still the lobed creature trembled but stayed shut up. This pissed Swifty off. He grabbed the lamp and shined it on the things...lobes. Very close, the heat from the bulb causing the organism to sweat little droplets of a hundred memories.
"Now listen up, pally," Swifty went on, "That chicka owes me, see? We got papers. Important papers. Lawyer papers. Show business papers. Variety, Backstage, Nightclub Weekly papers. Nobody's gonna cut Swifty out of his share, see. Anybody try I'll fill 'em so full a hot lead they'll be pickin' it out of their bellies for a week!"
Swifty's gaze came to rest on the beer held by the pitiful creatures hand. "That your beer?" The brain nodded carefully. "You like that beer, don't ya? You wanna drink that beer don't ya?" Swifty's big head moved slowly toward his shoulder. Then he said slowly with whispery force through clenched teeth, "I sure would hate for something to happen to that beer."
The brain could not restrain himself. He let go of his bladder completly, flooding the couch like the overflow of the dead sea, smelling of chemicals and salt. He wept openly, another soul crashed on the hard blacktop of a litter-strewn parking lot.
"Say, whatsa matter, pal. Don't worry. Was it something I said? Geeze. You need a hanky or somethin'? Uh...OK. Listen...if you see ChiChi would you tell her Swifty's lookin' for her? I got a great lead on some gigs in the catskills. Well...see ya later, pal. Hope you get that bladder thing looked at," and out the room went Swifty, another dreamer floating on hopes and dreams, hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe, this time it will be different. But it's never different. There will will be more balloons, lifting lost men into the sky of dreams only to drop them in the city dump, putrid with rotting fish and meat and shit, the flop house for a million fornicating flies.
I have heard this is what amateur cheaters do, start fights and take off. I don't judge people for what they do, who am I to do that, but I also got the feeling when one does this, there are complexities and better forethought. I also have to say I really dig shadesbreath stream of lyrical dialogue and since I am new to this site and the hubworld, I feel a little better knowing its not completely a Dr. Phil internet world and people are going to break open a beer and write from the gut. Even if its going to be a rotgut.
Well my dear Shadesbreath.
You do talk big in front of your new friends don't you.
And Swiftytheagent has got you sussed out completely!
I've just dropped by to bring you a life preserver. A giant sized one - 2 metres in diameter.
Don't forget to put it securely round your pathetic excuse for a body, just underneath your arms.
Hopefully it will be large enough to keep you from disappearing entirely as you plumb the depths of the chamois woman.
Don't bother coming home again. I 'm not there any more.
I've received a better offer from a real man.
Shouts:
"I'll be right out Swifty. I'm just packing the last of my bags."
Just thought I'd post a pic of Shadebreaths mouldy old propshaft.
http://www.jlunderwater.co.uk/old_site/photoix/sov
Go for it girls!
Shades,
Looks like you're in a spot of bother. Never mind mate, I can put you up for a while if you need it.
Quite a motley crew that you're entangled with!
(Great Hub - more twists and turns than a rattlesnake in a maze! Laughed so hard the tears ran down my legs :-0 )
OMG! Now I'm literally laughing out loud soooo hard at ajcor, Shades and Swifty that I really might fall off my chair! I'll come back if I can collect myself. ROFLMAO! I've never ever read anything so funny in all my life. :D
Looks like our services are needed here.
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We can shorten, lengthen, straighten, enlarge, recondition, lubricate, and repair any kind of propshaft.
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LOL, I think Madam Chi Chi with the botox injected lips, may actually have bronchitis, hence the 'purring' noise.
And Eric, are you sure it was tears running down your legs, or did you have a run in with Madam Chi Chi too???
Misty! There you are. I was just about to come looking for you.
Shades: That's funny! Are you playing your wife or is she?
ChiChi cautiously approaches the hub door that has been crashed into. She immediately knows that Swifty has been here - or maybe it was that banshee wife of Shades. It seems to have been both of them. At least she knows now that beer foam is remarkably similar to the appearance of a fox tail.
She quickly pulls out two tubes of red lipstick, one tube for each protruding lip, and applies it slowly, smoothly over and over in layers that extend beyond her lip line. It's not easy smacking those lips together to finalize the lipstick ritual, but she manages. After a hasty adjustment to her bosom heaving breathing apparatus, she runs a hand through her thick hair weave and enters the room.
A look of near shock and terror courses through her little brain when she discovers that Shades' wife has made off with Swifty. She starts heaving and sobbing, then heaving again as she cries aloud, "She con noot handle my leetle Sweeefty agent lov-aire!" "Heees MINE!"
ChiChi falls back against the wall with tears streaming down her face that fall like raindrops on her fast deflating heaving bosom, because all the moisture ends up short-ciruiting the breathing apparatus. She can't believe that Swifty would run off with another woman after she had given him so much - at least 2 or 3 quickies. He's called Swifty for good reason.
She starts thinking about all the shows they were supposed to do together, especially the nursing home tour where they would torture old geezers with chattering teeth thingamabobs and what not. She begins to bellow a long low wail of despair when she suddenly spots the Propshafts-R-us guy.
Her tears vanish like an oasis in a hot,dry dessert and her bosom resumes heaving as she runs to the unsuspecting guy with the awesomely hunky propshaft and says, "ShiShi need proopshaft lubri-cah-cee-on toot sweet!"
Hi Christoph, I would have been here sooner but got involved in a Harrison Ford film 'What Lies Beneath' and couldn't tear myself away. Can't be up too long tonight as have to go to friends for dinner at 3.00pm tomorrow, plus having our Nicotine Solutions lesson with Lela at 6 pm. Busy day for a Sunday, but will no doubt check in again Sunday night.
LOL Chi Chi, I reckon what you need is bit of time playing with the gear stick (gear shift) lever, and if you do, just remember to watch out for the handbrake!!!
OK, maybe it's not just "him" cheating, but say, if you get a call from a credit card company to verify some informaiton about an account, and it's an account you didn't know existed ... that might be a sign eveyrthing is not right.
@Misty
Yes - they were tears. you naughty girl!
And Yes, I actually DID have a run in with Chi Chi, but only because I saw a tuft of hair in her cleavage which intrigued me. I approached closer, and was surprised to discover that the hair belonged to the head of one agvulpes.
The aformentioned heaving of bosoms was actually caused by his struggles, and he fought to free himself from the confines of these mountainous mammaries, into which he had accidentally fallen which searching for an upside down "M" where he could get a feed.
I'm glad to say that I was able to rescue him, and he will be back to norbal soon.
The plastic surgeon said that he should be able to remove the permanently fixed smile without any ill effects.
(I don't know whether he was able to get a feed or not - perhaps Chi Chi can tell us ? )
LOL Misty! Thanks for giving me some extra props to work with! ;)
That Harrison Ford movie is good. I was glued to my seat too. Who was that actress who played his wife?? She has very poofy lips too. Have fun at dinner tomorrow!
Pam: That's hysterical! You need some lubrication? Ha, ha. Maybe Swifty is kidnapped by Shadesbreath's wife? I'm off to do some stuff, but I'll be around.
Eric, I too was concerned about the nature of those tears running down your legs! LOL! Glad to know they were in fact tears. ;)
Since your run in with ChiChi, she has had that tuft of hair waxed off of her chest. As for Agvulpes, he should consider himself very lucky to have a friend like you to help him out of that mountain mammary adventure. I've known some men who've never been heard from again. ;) lol!
Does that make those Bosoms a 'Woolly Mammary' ???
Yes Pam, we rescued him, but it was touch and go there for a while.
It took 12 experienced mountaineers, a drilling rig, 4 cubic metres of shotcrete, a 25 tonne mobile crane, and 1100 feet of heavy duty climbing rope to do the job.
That Chi Chi sure is something else. Quite what - I'm not sure. :-)
No idea who the actress was Pam, but it sure was a good film :)
ROFLMAO @ Eric and Misty! Wooly mammaries indeed! =O And that was quite a rescue team Eric! ROFL!
My ribs ache from laughing so hard! :D
ChiChi must be 'Exhausted' by now, and should really 'indicate' her true intentions, whilst checking out her latest conquest's 'dipstick' to make sure his lubricant levels are all safe and acceptable.
To say nothing of checking out his tyre pressures and making sure his inner tubes have no punctures!!
You guys have been very busy around here. Let me try and get this all straight. Ag was rescued from some mammoth mammories, Shades wife ran off with Swifty, Chi Chi is currently trying to molest the propshaft guy, Eric is trying to save other from the mammories? Hmm, What is Cr doing in all this action, surely he is not being innocent, nah, can't be.
(CR, not sure who is playing the part of my wife, AG maybe, but can't be sure.)
Shadesbreath pulls his I-pod earphones out, the stupor of the last forty-three and a half beers finally wearing off. He looks down and sees that he has wet himself again and vows to stop drinking one of these days. Blinking away the last vestiges of a wonderful dream where that old shrew of a wife had left him for some windbag, he sits up and looks around the room, spotting Gwendy, Misty and Eric for the first time in awhile.
"Hey," he says to them, still a bit bleary eyed. "Any of you guys bring beer?"
Been out all day...back now ... breathless ... no heaving bosoms though...
Christoph - "The Man With Two Brains" or should that be a man with a brain and his wife. ... masterful exposee of the antics of Swifty ...poor old Brain; what with Swifty giving him a hard time standing on his tail and causing droplets of brain matter filled with memories of lost beer to multiply out of all reason "crashing onto the hard blacktop of a litter-strewn parking lot" I have to admit I was sobbing at this point in time - Poor Brain - you gonna take his beer, you hurt him and then you threaten him all because you wanna make money out of chichi and her fun filled bags of botox!
Misty sure glad chichi got her propshaft fixed - the finding of Propshafts-r-us was indeed a miracle don't you think? ..."We can shorten, lengthen, straighten, enlarge, recondition, lubricate, and repair any kind of propshaft" and for a truly discrete service "(24 hour service. Discreet brown paper packaging used. Discounts for quantity orders)" I mean what more can a girl of such modesty as chichi ask for!!! and trust me on this one the key to making everything work - apart from the lubricant - is of course the gear stick... hope no one forgets (one hopes chichi is not reading this - actually can she read Pam?) themselves with the intended use of this mechanical device!!!
Shades - sorry to hear about Mrs Shades and her better offer - watch out for large life preservers - they are not everything they are cracked up to be! and as for your so called friend Swifty - well don't get me started - but I have it on reliable authority that there is a very good reason he uses this name and I am sure it is not a reason that gives him huge personal pride and satisfaction!!!! what can I say but Beware of Swifty - a Snake in Sheeps clothing(???) - lucky he's a he and not a ewe or he could have been blessed with woolly mammaries indeed!!! (thanks misty) no good to chichi!!
Pam did ChiChi get her lubricant from the propshaft man? btw I have to say that I am in total awe of any woman whose lips are so big and pouty she needs two hands and 2 lipsticks to apply this female friendly freshening gel - do they jut? the lips that is - no,no sorry that's the Captain - but are they bounteous in nature??
CHICHI make up your mind girl - you can tell me - are you going for one or two chaps and what has happened to your friend Pepe?? or is he out on the proverbial limb while you wait for Mr Shades and Swifty to fight over you? in all sincerity i ask who will you throw your lace handkerchief to???
Mrs. Shades - You Go Girl!!!! you and swifty will make a team formidable!!! highs and lows not withstanding my thoughts are with you at this momentous time in your lives - just keep hin away from ChiChi - hate to be the one to warn you but he "making a small "moue here" and in that down low whisper of the true friend warns - has a real thing for HER - that cat eating vixen....ChiChi!!! that man eater.....lol ...sure you'll be just fine - you have been warned and you will know what to do when the time comes - secret women's business... the sisterhood is with you at this time.....
Eric so glad you were able to save ag from a fate worse than.....? wandering tufts of hair are always such a dead giveaway don't you think.?... terrific that you were able to marshall all that machinery to plumb the depths of the heaving bosom breathing aparatus and lever him out safely - I am sure ag will be eternally grateful to you and your abilities to perform at such short notice...BTW What did you actually use the concrete for? if you would rather not answer this question no probs....I can understand your reticence....lol it's that breathing apparatus that continually gets in the way of - not sure of what ...will get back to that...
No worries ajcor,
The concrete was to build some flying buttresses to hold the weight of the massive mammaries while poor AG's body was extracted.
We left it there to provide support, so Chi Chi won't need much chamois in future, and she now has a new, perkier profile.
And here's a little factoid that most people don't know.
The name of the Bra manufacturer HESTIA is an acronym.
It stands for:
Wait for it . . . . . .
Holds Every Size Tit In Australia
Now Eric we all know that flying buttresses are always so .. so ... necessary are they not when it comes to moving mammaries or indeed the framework for the solidly heaving breathing apparatus?
newer? perkier? a different profile - boy are you in trouble!!!! there are going to be serious questions raised about this issue let me tell you ? I can hear it now - zeez boooobies ver sooo expeeensieve!! well all i can say this puts chichi on a level playing field now does it not - unless of course we have a whip around to restore her Oh So naturelle bibsn'boobs!!!
HESTIA as against the "over the shoulder holder boulder"!!!
All I can say is ROFLMAO over and over and over! That's all I can do at the moment because I haven't finished my first cup of coffee, and ChiChi is still sleeping after a long night of, well, God knows what. It's odd though, she seems to have something called a "buttress" propping up her new boobs. Very interesting indeed and very handy! LOL!
Hey, about the whole cat thing...she had to eat the cat because she doesn't know how to cook. For one thing she can barely see over her lips and her latest boob job, and for another thing she's rather stupid and lazy unless cooking involves rubbing olive oil all over a man's body then setting him ablaze with her feminine charms. For emergency situations when her charms don't work, she just ordered a case of "oozing sexuality" from Amazon. We hope it arrives quickly since it appears getting men drunk before enticing them isn't working so well. ;)
Hey I only just saw the picture of the propshaft kindly lent to this hub by Shadesbreath's Ex Wife who says: Go for it girls!!! oh my God........
Hey Pam I think that poor leetle chichi has not got the giant mammaries any longer!! - Eric did a a great concrete job on her boooobies - erecting the flying buttresses n'all - hey just realised I misread the earlier post and thought that the mammaries had been minismised - but no - what a relief the perkier image relates to the erection of the flying buttresses designed to uphold her breathing framework - not a dimishment in size at all - phew - it's all ok Eric - special orders will continue to flow in for HESTIA on chichi's behalf. so all is well that ends well.
What form does the "oozing sexuality" from Amazn take? hope it arrives soon - ag has already done a runner - and have you heard about poor Mrs. Shades - the sisterhood need to get together on this? waiting on advice....
ChiChi enters feeling a mix of emotions that are quite new to her. She’s done with the propshaft guy; he was all talk and no action. Now, she reflects on how badly she feels, and that doesn’t happen often, over pretending that Shades has a skull when in fact he is but a brain with a spinal cord holding a beer. It was out of a selfish need to avoid the squishy reality of holding a brain. She needed something more, something firm to grasp hold of. But that was then, and this is now, and his wife is apparently still off somewhere with her agent Swifty. She scans the room looking for Shades, but he’s not there. Feeling woeful ChiChi exclaims, “My leetle spinal caird brain zing mon is gooone!” She even brought another cat with her in case she needed to do some more purring against his, um, squishy grey matter.
Bored with all this thinking, she scratches one buttock with her long press-on nails and decides to go find this new guy she's heard so much about...the Spanish cabana boy/man person with the French name.
Lickity split she's out the door singing her second most favorite song in the world (the William Hung version)..."She bangs, she bangs...eew baby wheen she mooves, she mooves, I go cray-cee..."
poor chichi maybe zee shades has gone "en vacance" without her.... maybe Mrs. shades and her brain have made up ....where is pepe? the cabana boy in the speedos.... maybe poor chichi will really go cray-cee..."
LOL! Gosh ajcor, I wish you and I weren't on totally different schedules. :( I'm sleeping when you're all bright eyed and bushy tailed, and you're sleeping when I'm ready to rumble. <sigh> ;)
I've never met the speedo cabana boy, but he certainly sounds interesting! Swifty had me rolling so hard I could barely catch my breath! lol!
Have a good one!
Shadesbreadth's wife bursts into the room, stands there legs akimbo and gazes round the room.
Sees nobody.
Yells out "Shadesbreath, you good for nothing beer soaked slob. Come out from under the bed".
No response.
She bends down, looks under the bed and sees nothing.
Except an ipod and attached earpieces, which she picks up.
Says softly: That's all I came back here for. My daughter's iPod. That useless shadesbreath is always stealing it from her. Yewww. What's that slimy stuff on it!
Before she can tear off one of the industrial sized tissues from the roll hanging on the wall, she hears a sound from the bathroom.
Preparing herself for the worst, she goes to inspect. She flings aside the shower curtain, and sees a tiny rabbit like creature with the horns of a deer cowering in the corner of the shower, dripping wet.
She says "And what the hell are you ???"
The jackalope looks up, his antlers scratching the wall behind him.
"Hey, there", he says, nonchalantly. "What's a babe like you see in that brain-on-a-stick lookin' thing, anyhow?"
She can't help but notice that his antlers are only slightly longer than average. But they are easily three times the diameter of any antlers she has ever seen! She is suddenly reminded of the "Big feet" analogy, and blushes furiously.
"Ever hear of revenge sex?", he asks her, innocently.
Pam it is a shame about the time zone thing but it just means we all have to take a leaf out of chichi's book and wait breathlessly! it's all good-for a laugh!
well that certainly answered that particular question - re the size of a jackaloupe....lol..a tiny rabbit like creature that cowers... and can talk!!! and scratch just like chichi - some things they do have in common -
Mrs. Shades You have my utmost admiration -- Have to say you are one helluva woman - ya know - you didn't turn and run - you just tackled that bathroom and found..... wait for it ..a jackaloupe who suggests ...revenge sex...with him with those big ears...no,no,no I meant horns... well the chinese herbalists do make aphrodisiacs (?) from horn powder and just maybe you could use your wily powers of persuasion on this jackaloupe to part with just little bit of his horn to grind up into a powder to pop into chichi's soup du jour - obviously you have to play the part of the femme fatale to roll him over and steal that leetle tiny bit ..on the upper right I'd say ...looks kind of gritty....should just do the trick...
I'd say that aphrodisiac would be the LAST thing that ChiChi needed in her soup!
And if Mrs. Shades wanted a piece of BT's horns, she wouldn't bother with the wily powers of persuasion. She sounds like the kind of gal that would just pick him up and bite a hunk off!
And I'm thinking - Where's Spryte. Surely she must have found this hub by now?
Or is she Mrs. Shadesbreath ????
Eric - you are so right - what was I thinking of??? except for revenge naturellement - think of chichi in contact with her close friend BTEP the jackaloupe's sharp bits - love knows no boundaries particularly when enhanced by a secret something in the soup - very naughty of Mrs. Shades to think of this but she was so pi....d off with chichi for trying to steal her brainiac - of course I could be totally wrong and she has no intention of biting large lumps out of BT's horns to get revenge on chichi ... I hesitate to say this though and that is we'll could all be ruin'd if she gets it wrong!!! the wrath of chichi could descend on the makers of horn powder......... evil laugh...
Mrs. Shades the sisterhood is calling you ............... what say you?......
Mrs Shadesbreath could actually be Mrs. Shadesbreath - I heard that Spryte was away at a WoW convention - don't know if she is back yet.... but maybe she is Mrs. Shades .... or it could Shades under instruction from Mrs. Shades - it's all a mystery...
Looks like the thought of Mrs. Shades gnawing BT's antlers in the shower has stunned everyone into silence!
Luckily for BT, Jackalopes can regrow any lost horn!
In your earlier comment Eric, did you mean to say the 'wily powers of persuasion', or more appropriately the 'Willy powers of persuasion' ??? :) :) :)
ROFL ajcor...i never knew you could laugh with such evilness! LOL! And I never knew that antlers could be used in such a way. Smart chick you are.
Actually, I've tried to get some writing done today, but, as is often true with most women, I keep getting pulled in all different directions by trivial complaints, like "I'm hungry!" "Where are my clothes?" "Take me to so and so's house." blah blah blah. I just fed these people 2 days ago. Sheesh. ;) lol!
Amanda...lol about the jackalope horns. You seem to have quite a bit of experience with jackalope parts. ;)
So, having Swifty isn't enough for Mrs. Shades now? And she's off gnawing on Mr. Evilpants antlers? Hmpf. Eric, you're a hoot! ;)
Eric ....I thought the same thing!!!! silence is not always golden.....
Amanda...Can they? then this is good! he shouldn't mees joust a leetle bit of bone!!
misty - very funny...lol.. or it could be a question of will he? won't he??
The responsibilities of motherhood Pam - lucky you love them!!! and what about the fact that they are always hungry - I remember that the fridge door was always on automatic open/shut. Looking for miracles? I used to ask
anyone heard from swifty? he must be upset that flighty chichi is off chasing Pepe the speedo boy while he (swifty) has taken off with Mrs Shades who in turn is thinking of revenge sex with the big horned jackaloupe BT in chichi's bathroom whom she found while checking out chichi's magnificent 1 bedroom jam packed apartment for her husband Shades but finding instead her daughter's ipod - btw does this come with a tape recorder attachment??? more twists and turns than a bag of snakes!!!! laughing - laughing!!!
Just making sure you guys are behaving, I see you are, ok.
I'm off to chase a bit of tail, fox of course!
cu
hi ag - are you behaving - is the big question?? I hope that chichi is not attached to that bit of tail!! enjoy your trip.....have fun...cheers.
If Mrs. Shades were to attempt to bite an antler, she would quickly regret that decision. Jackalope antlers are among the hardest substances on earth. Cat couldn't scratch 'em! It's an integral part of the size analogy. Not that I'm bragging, or anything.
ROFL @ ajcor and B.T.!
Right now ChiChi is having a fit over our internet service which has gone straight to crap. :( We can't have any fun till someone fixes it. *sob* She's thinking of moving to Canada because she heard someone say that butter tarts are pre-made there and women get paid real money (in some areas) to do what she does for free. lol!
BT Maybe Mrs. Shades should re-think her slicin'dicin' strategy and take along a her tiny little diamond hacksaw to quickly lop off a small bit of your really hard antler - really you won't miss it, and even more hopefully won't even feel it coming off, it's in a good cause - think revenge sex - be the Jackalope you have always wanted to be - give it up!!! the antler piece that is.....lol
we have to wait on Mrs. Shades to make the final decision you understand.... Mrs. Shades the sisterhood is still calling....where are you...? is that an echo I hear?
Pobre ChiChi - no internet, her flights of fancy gone to the pot...or the shower of recess ... some flights are sure fancer than others I have to say... Canada could be good for her if needs money....
Pam hope your internet gets better soon or at least goes into remission... nothing worse than a sick computer... sends me cray-cee also....lol
A childhood friend of mine was cheating on his wife for over 2 years, his excuse for the leaving the house was he was going to bible study.
Great Hub!!
Thanks for your comment emilclemons6757 this excuse is truly appalling - original but appalling - bet it didn't help his poor wife with having anything to do with going to church . Will add this the list above. cheers.
Hi Annie. Great hub. This could be the never-ending list. I bet you have to add to it at least once a month. Nice writing. Guys can be so dumb, sometimes.
Thanks rockinjoe - you're right the list of the infidels grows as comments are made - so it may be an ongoing informative hub - even helpful (?) to some poor people - cheers
Hi Ajcor, Just stopped by to say I like your new holiday avatar! MM
Thank you Mighty Mom - Our house last year - thought I would try and get into Christmas - I seem to be a bit of a late starter this year! ...... cheers
I saw this pop up yesterday and never got a chance to come and check in. I like your avatar picture too! Very nice with all the Christmas cards and things. :) Which reminds me, I haven't sent out cards yet this year. I'm very behind, so you're not the only late starter.
Here's hoping you have a very merry Christmas! I'm going to be thinking about all that food you spread out on Christmas day!
Better late than never P am - hope you too had a great Christmas - I must have put the comments onto unmoderated and as a result I seem to have missed a few along the way - my apologies for that....have a great New Year for 2009..cheers
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ajcor says:
12 months ago
Thanks MightyMom - I might add that to the list - now that would not be nice!!! cheers