Passing while Cross dressed and Transgendered

The "art" of passing in the transgendered crossdressing world has been variously described as everything from the "Holy Grail of Dressing" to the Great Evil. To some it is the ultimate mark of success in having achieved a transformation to the degree where the person is able to freely move about and function under the appearance of being the opposite sex from his or her birth. But to others passing is just the wrong thing to do because it keeps the TG/CD issue in the closet and out of the public eye where it might yet gain some degree of acceptance. It isn't very difficult to see both sides of this issue. I should know - I have been there myself.

I go out rarely and, when I do, I usually wear jeans and flats. I am 6 ft. tall, 62 years old, and really don't look very much like a woman. Still, I want to go out. I think my main motivation for walking in the world of other people is to simply allow myself to both honor and express my feminine side in a way that has the most meaning to me. I want to be treated just like any other person and to be allowed to go about my life in my own quiet way. Part of that way is to appear feminine. However, I am not, by nature, a confrontational person and I really want to move through a crowd without any notice whatsoever. In fact, I find that I feel the same way when I go out dressed in masculine attire. I want to be able to order my Big Mac without anyone paying me any attention, regardless of how I am dressed. I don't think that is asking too much of the world. The catch here is that I have to work very hard at doing that when dressed as a woman. In truth, I have never gone into a McDonalds s a woman. But my point is that, in order to function as I wish at any given time, I must be able to "pass". It isn't that I want to fool anyone; I simply want to be left alone. You see, "passing" to me is a means to an end. I wish I could do it better, but I just don't look a lot like a woman. If it were fine with the world for me to wear a dress and heels and still be seen as a man, then I would not worry about passing.

I understand all too well that, if all the TG/CD men in the world went out dressed as often as they wished, then eventually passing would be pointless. If the folks all saw me dressed and gave it no thought, then I would not need to deal with trying to look so much like the genuine article. As I said, I go out in jeans and flats but I would love to wear a dress and heels. If crossdressers were fully accepted, I could do that. But I am not willing to undergo a lifetime of pain and ridicule to change my world. I really would rather not say that, but it is a true statement. As I look around me I see that others like me are starting to make television appearances, college presentations, and other public statements. Someday - not in my lifetime - these men will be the pioneer heroes for a TG culture that moves openly on its own terms. It clearly hasn't happened yet but I feel a deep sense of gratitude to these guys and guilt for not joining them. By not dealing with passing they are working toward changing the world into a place where passing is no longer an issue.

There is much more to this entire scene of "going out" and moving in the world. Much of it would apply to almost anyone regardless of gender issues. I am thinking of a person who has a disfigurement or someone born into a minority or someone who just doesn't seem to fit - a nerd by some folks description.

So, you see, I try very hard to pass - not because I want to fool anyone - but because I want to be left alone.

I hope these two links below will be helpful: