Ought but blue hues

Penetrate her home

Absence of true light

Turns each day to night.

Bed of stones

She sleeps on alone

Roasts in the cold

Freezes when heat

Radiates bold.

Sinks into the earth

Quicksand birth

Walks on air

Never falls up there.

Inside out world

Upside down girl

Barbie on strings

Puppet that sings.

The doll holds the girl

The girl's world unfurls

Like a flag too loosely

Rolled at the grave

Of a soldier who died

Less than brave.

Upside downside

Inside outside

Curly world

never

To be straight

ever.

Karen Chaffee 2008

All Rights Reserved

When does that spotlight bear down upon rather than lift one up?

When does the applause deafen and frighten rather than enlighten?

So young, too young, to support my parents, too young for the glory I learn might be fleeting.

Too tired to keep besting myself, paparazzi no longer a flattering ring, I cannot cry or wet myself or indulge that well-deserved breakdown without the world watching my human-ness mess.

Money couldn't buy sanity, fame turned into vanity, a burden too heavy to be bourne.

Drugs banished burdens for a while 'til they shattered me like a science-lab vial.

Lucid now, back in this burdensome reality, I know now:

I do not wish my last byline to be a toe tag, my last gig to be held in the morgue, an audience gathered to identify my earthly remains.

Karen Chaffee 2008 All Rights Reserved