Testifying before a credulous, pathetic and ineffectual Congress, General Petraeus was glued to his script in the rapt attention of a schoolboy reading aloud to the class. Struggling to decipher Cheney's prepared propaganda (I always use this razorblade...on my face...to shave...it.) one almost felt pity for Bush's top military stooge as beads of sweat built up in a seditious refusal to follow orders.

Of interest to web users, Pet managed to squeeze in a neo-con internets paranoia alert, arguing that since the bad guys have laptops, the only evidence of true democracy must be censored and dismantled as an evil device in the service of evil evildoers and the evil evildoing dogs who support them.

McCain led witnesses along in a Pollyanna proclamation that all will be well in Iraq so long as we stay the course of fomenting hopeless chaos throughout the Middle East. Kennedy still wants to hold ‘those Iraqis' accountable for the US created civil disintegration, careful, as ever to not cast aspersions on the Bush regime.

In his whining, agonizing and supremely irritating way, dipshit Joe Lieberman referred to the mostly urban chaos as ‘the battlefield' and ‘battleground', thanking the so-called witnesses, adding that they deserved to be cheered. He then strongly encouraged military pursuits into Iranian territory (the new Cambodia).

The usual cast of rogues and scoundrels played their stereotypical roles, droning along in a pretence of competency. A hackneyed, yet ever requisite buttering up of our beleaguered troops was interrupted only by a mutual kissing of ass. It was agreed by all that a bloody drawdown should be a gradual process taking effect over the next one hundred and seventy-five years.

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