Pets: To Give Away Or Put To Sleep?
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It's just a hypothetical question - but which would it be if you had to make a choice where the pet you love is concerned?
The other day, a friend brought someone over. One look at our young, active, crazy pup and she got all teary eyed. Apparently the year before, she suddenly got a posting out of the country and there was nothing she could do except leave her dog with an aunt - an aunt with a huge house, a huge garden - you'd have thought a dog would be ecstatic there. Try taking an apartment dog, used to being pampered, sleeping with his mistress in her bed, getting spoiled by the maids - to a farmhouse where he has to sleep outside, exposed to the elements, unloved, uncared for. He didn't survive one year - he ran out of the gate one day, got hit by a speeding car - and that was it.
There was a close friend who had to give his dog away. His little baby was allergic to fur and the doctor said the dog just had to go. He was lucky because his older daughter's friend who loved dogs took him in. They never went to see the dog for a whole year, giving him time to adjust to his new home. When they did think it had been long enough and went over, the dog saw them and cried like a baby. I don't think they will ever get over that!
That was when it hit me...what if it were me? What if I were in that position? Would I leave my pampered pet behind? If I did, would I have one good night's sleep, wondering how he was, what he was doing, whether he was happy, cared for, loved? I realized that none of the usual reasons people trotted out to get rid of a pet applied to me. I would probably find a hundred different reasons why I could never, ever leave him behind.
Then followed the unbidden thought - in case there was an emergency and there was no other alternative, would I rather put him to sleep? Theoretically, there were so many advantages - I would know for sure he was not being ill treated. I broached the thought at breakfast one morning. My logical businessman husband does not waste his time pondering over ‘What ifs' so he smiled and went back to reading the morning paper. My daughter pounced on me. ‘You can't be serious! You can't just snuff out his life when he's young and active. Old and ill, OK....maybe there's a case for that. But a young dog - Mum, what's gotten into you?" And our dog got an extra special hug from her, like I was some kind of a Dog Exterminating Monster.
Somehow, it's something that has been coming back to haunt me. What would I do? Right now, I can't really see a situation arising when it will be necessary. But if I were faced with a choice, what would I do? Would I be strong enough to be cruel in order to be kind? Or would I just leave him wherever to manage the best he can? And suffer as long as I lived, wondering if he was all right or not. Such a difficult decision - and one I pray I will never have to take.
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Comments
Yes, I do agree. The question was hypothetical in my case. What I also realise is that I probably feel that I'm the best there is to look after him! Maybe that's where the problem lies.
That's such a wonderful thought - putting your cat in your will!
I have owned my share of pets. There were several occasions where I had to find homes for them. I placed them with people I knew, or in the case of one, gave her to a no-kill facility. One thing I never did was go visit them. I would ask how they were doing, so visiting was not an option for me. It would be too emotional both for me and my pet.
The thing about leaving your pets in your will is, even if it's someone you trust, once you're gone, there is no guarantee your wishes will be carried out. I knew of a woman who left her elderly dog to her son, and he wasted no time in having the dog put down.
What would I do? I can't answer that, since each situation has its own unique circumstances. I would do what I thought was right, of course, and at that point could only hope it was the right choice.
Love the picture of the dog :)
Thanks for sharing,
Trish
Thanks Trish - such a tough choice, isn't it! One I hope I'll never have to make!
I can sympathize with your friend. I had moved to a place where they didn't allow pets so I had to find a home for my dog. I THOUGHT I had found a good home with a friend who had wanted him so I gave him to her. Nine months later I found out that she had put him down, for no other reason that she decided that she didn't want him after all. Needless to say I gave that person a piece of my mind and we haven't been friends since. I learned a very hard lesson that day.
Teri
That's sad! What I suppose was even worse was wondering how much he must have suffered, feeling unwanted, after having lived in a home where he was loved!
I could not leave any cat or dog of mine. I have a cat and won't even stay out overnight because I don't like leaving her on her own here for long. I have turned down gigs in the UK because I have said I can't leave here to travel abroad because of my cat. I also worry about what would happen to my cat if I died. There's no point in me including her in a will because I have so little to leave behind of any material value that there is no way I could pay for her future upkeep.
I am convinced that animals give us unconditional love and sadly humans are often unable to return this. That humans consider themselves superior to animals makes no sense to me.
I totally understand! There's a veterinary college in South India that had this on their letterhead (must be from somewhere but I've no idea where!): 'Never call a man a dog, it's an insult to the dog.' That would go for cats and most pets too! For me, if I had to make a decision, I would rather put my dog to sleep - at least I'll know he was loved till his very last breath. It might sound cruel - but for me, I couldn't bear it if he were ill treated.
Thankfully I have never been put in this position, but I know someone who was. After placing their much loved dog in a new home prior to emigrating to South Africa, they then changed their minds, took the dog back, and had him put to sleep. I could never think about that couple in quite the same way again, and I'm glad they're no longer part of my social scene.
I could never do that---ever!! We were made after all the other stuff here on earth--so what does that tell you--we were second and they were first....period. We were made to take care of them and everything else---alot of good we are doing, huh?!
Bard of Ely said:
I could not leave any cat or dog of mine. I have a cat and won't even stay out overnight because I don't like leaving her on her own here for long. I have turned down gigs in the UK because I have said I can't leave here to travel abroad because of my cat. I also worry about what would happen to my cat if I died. There's no point in me including her in a will because I have so little to leave behind of any material value that there is no way I could pay for her future upkeep.
I am convinced that animals give us unconditional love and sadly humans are often unable to return this. That humans consider themselves superior to animals makes no sense to me.
I also could can't leave my pet, or my furry daughter as I call her. She is a huge part of my life, and I lover her. It is sad when people die or move and have to leave their pet, the pet feels the pain of being left behind. I have witnessed this many times. It would be nice if we could trust people to take care of our pets as much as we would but the sad truth is we can't trust most people to do that. I don't think we will ever be as evolved as our pets are in the aspect to love unconditionally. Humans are pretty sad creatures sometimes.
To put down a healthy animal is just wrong. It is all about finding the right home for them if you really have to part with them. Many pets adopted from rescue centres go on to find fantastic homes, often better than their original home was. To put down a healthy animal to me seems unfair, and perhaps it is best not to take on pets in the first place if you could do that. After all, would you "put down" your child in the same circumstances?
Amanda: did they do that because they were worried that he'd pine for them?
Lady G: I agree- humans can learn so much from animals and we were created to look after them!
gwendymom: It is the sad truth - one can't really trust anyone to look after our pet like we do.
mistyhorizon: I would hate to put an animal down too. There have been so many stories of pets finding a better home the second time around. However, truth be told, I'd think a child could manage better than a pet simply because it can communicate. A pet usually just feels so abandoned and lost when he's left. This was just hypothetical - like I said, I hope a time never comes when I am in that position of being forced to give my pet away! He, like all the other pets before him, is so much an essential part of our lives.
Hi Shalini. Not altogether. They went to the dog's new home after he'd been there for a couple of weeks, and of course he came bounding up and made a big fuss of them, so they took this as a sign that he hadn't settled in, and rather than worry about how he was doing or trying to settle him elsewhere they had him put down.
Amanada,
Wow what an awful story. That behavior also could have been that he liked it there and was also glad to see them. Dogs and cats and animals cannot talk in our human language, but can communicate telepathically and through body language. Mis-communication on their part ened this dog's life!
Rather sad that they had to go and mess up their pet's mind!
I believe when we take the responsibility for a critter, we need to be sure that pet is with us no matter what. Yes, I know "stuff" comes up. But we all know about allergies, jobs, etc. If those are potentials, even remotely, then maybe having an animal is not the best choice. These creatures are not disposable. I know it's an incredibly difficult choice for people who find themselves in that position, but I'd give up a job, or find a way to address the allergy issue (they are out there).
Wow! That is an impossible hypothetical. Considering my previous dogs (my kids), I can't even consider this question as a "what if". There has to be a different answer than the "either or" your hypothetical proposes. I would find it no matter what. Or...were you talking about cats....? Just kidding.
Cats? You can never get rid of them - don't even try! We've got a stray cat and 5 kittens in the garden and they think they own the place!
Yes, the question was hypothetical but it's such a huge decison if ever it were necessary!
Hello Shalini Kagal an intriguing question indeed. I think it's one of those hypothiticals that you can't really say what you would do unless your placed in that situation. I suppose it depends a lot on how desperate you are! . Fortunately in Melbourne where I live we have a number of places such as the RSPCA that will take an animal and find an adoptive family. Yes Chris even cats!
btw If that is your dog at the top he is magnifecent animal indeed!
Thanks for reading agvulpes. I do agree - you never know what decision you will take till you're faced with a stiuation like this - I just hope it never happens to me!
This is not a hypothetical for me tonight. Tomorrow we are giving our 1 1/2 yr old pup to a vet assistant in hopes that Jessie might regain her health! Jessie's been battling skin problems for 3 months, and when she was away from our farmstead (at the vet for several days), she got better. Her itching returns when she comes home, and now she's getting worse by the moment. Unable to determine the cause, we've arranged for this vet assistant lady to take her to her home, and hope that the seeming allery issue will go away for her.
My heart is breaking, as I don't know that this plan will even work. We have 4 small daughters as well, and we've spent hundreds of dollars for the necessary vet attention (switching vet clinics and driving an extra 70 miles fo better care). She is much too miserable and she's run out of "trial and error" time staying at our farmstead. Our family has experienced multiple bouts of staph infections (before we got her and after), so we can't be sure what's going on with her. Anyway, I found this page while surfing the web for a way to instantly cure her, keep her forever, and never worry about this matter! Unfortunately, our answer is to give her away and hope to avoid ending the life of one of the most beautfiul souls I've ever had the privelege to know! God Bless Jessie.
PRae - I feel for you! Loving and hurting go together so often - and somehow a dog just becomes so much a part of you. The fact that she's with someone who you trust must alleviate the pain a bit - but it's still heartbreaking I'm sure - God Bless Jessie and you!
Hi Shalini, this is something I've been thinking about ever since my dog went missing- would it be easier to deal with if I knew he was dead instead of missing? because when you know he is no more, you know he is with god, and thus not to worry anymore, then u can let go of worry, but not knowing what is happening to him while he is missing brings on feelings like- is he being well fed? is he in good health? is he being abused? then again knowing that he is alive gives you hope- maybe he will come home again oneday.
It is like a double edged sword! But you could for a minute put yourself in the dog's shoes- would you rather be alive than dead just because your owner can't keep you anymore for whatever reason. Are we taking into account the pet or are we only dealing with our feelings and conveniences? How can we decide what is best for someone else when we dont know what they want?
This brings me back to something I wrote about earlier- did nature intend animals to be domesticated? Do we have the right to keep animals as pets no matter how much we love them? Imagine being a bird and having to live in a cage instead of flying free- just because a human wants a pet! Can you really OWN another living being? does an animal really need a master? I've seriously been thinking about this lately, because of my lost dog. I need to do this soul searching before I go out and ever get another dog!
I see your point Vibha but I feel once they come into your home, they are like children that need looking after - and the looking after never ends - they don't grow up and become self sufficient. What will be their feelings if we give them away? Who knows? They might just be very happy once they've adjusted into their new home. The thing is, they have no choice even if they aren't happy - they can't just get up and leave. If ever I were in that position what would upset me most was the not knowing!
My wife and I faced such a dilemna 12 years ago. Good fortune, saw us keep our pets. For that I am grateful.
One reason we should get our pets from a reputable breeder. Most have a return policy for their animals for whatever reason in their purchase contracts.
Thanks for commenting Industry Gian. Yes, that might be an option - but whichever way, it still hurts!
Hi Shalini:)
im glad you ask a hyperthetical question and its not a situation or decision yiour in to make..,,If you HAVE to for what ever reasons, it would be much easier if you know how they are doing and that they are happy, cared for and loved...
I have a condition which cause me lots of pain, and someone said to me , what if it was your kitts that were the cause of pain would you give up them up!? I said and no without any hesitation and would not even consider it!
im just much like Bard on this one! i love my kittys so much its pretty crazy and miss them when im out!! I would not be so bad if i was living with someone! but they are house kittys cos i live on the top floor!
Maybe I am too sensitive about the issue, but I do not even like the idea of putting pets down when they are in poor health. My parents decided to do that with Lady dog and even though I knew she was in pain, it was not what I wanted. I still feel it is robbing the pet by putting them down. Just my strong opinion on the issue.
Hi compu-smart - I'm glad you have your cats to love - and I'm sorry to hear you have a condition where there's pain. Can I do anything to help? (I do have a Diploma in natural medicine :) ) Yes, if you feel they are going to be cared for and loved, it's fine - but you always wonder!
SweetiePie - I see your point. I don't like the idea of putting animals down unnecesarily either - this was just a meandering of my stupid mind :)
I think the choice of having a pet put to sleep rather than finding it a good home is a selfish one. It is all about the feelings of the person, not the pet. The pet would rather live. Trust me on this.
All you can do is make the best, most responsible choice of care provider possible, make a clean transition, and hope for the best. If some mishap occurs or things don't go well, you have done your best. If it is still possible to step in and set things right, you should, but if not, you must move on.
Yu may be interested in these 2 articles:
Dealing With The Loss Of Your Pet
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1261459/d
A Time Of Mourning After Losing A Pet
http://hubpages.com/hub/A-Time-Of-Mourning-After-L
:) Suzanne
Hi justmesuzanne - thanks for the links!
Yes, I agree - it's more me than anything else :(
You raise a good quesiton. My husband and I have been pondering this for a while. Our dog is a rescue, 6 years old- we've had him 5, and has bitten my cousin's child after the kid smacked him. But now that we have a little girl, we see his nervous snappy reactions around her and the vet has already told us to get rid of him.
We can't imagine anyone who would take him -he is not that old and already has a bad back and other health problems he is on medication for and he doesn't like children for sure. We take each day as it comes and watch him with our daughter very closely. She is 1 but we fear someday she will have friends over who will not respect our dog's space and he is basically a liability. The fact that we still have him is proof that it is a hard predicament to be in and not an easy decision.
Hi izetti - that must be really tough on you - especially as your little one is so young! I agree - it's not an easy decision by any standard and making that decision involves so much pain!
I have two dogs and I had to get rid of my older one and it was the hardest thing to do for me. I cried like a baby
GREAT HUB!!
Yes, it's hard - there's nothing quite like the unconditional love that dogs shower on you, is there?
I hate to admit it, but I had to put my kitten to sleep cuz I couldn't let him suffer anymore. It's a difficult choice because pets are just like family to us!
Thanks for sharing this hub
Thanks mayhmong for reading - yes, it is one of life's toughest decisions indeed!
These stories are just heart wrenching.I could never have my dog put down if for some reason I could no longer heep him, though the circumstances would have to be exceptional for that to happen,Luckly, we look after a friends dog regualrly and they dog sit for us, the dogs are best of friends, are there is an unspoken agreement that if anything happens to one or other of us, the other would take the dog.
However, I also know situations where the family has chosen to have the dog put down before even looking at other options, and Ifond it very hard to look at this person in the same way again.
Interesting to see all the different comments and ways people cope. I think you have to be a pet owner and true animal lover to really understand
How true Sorrel - unless you own a pet and really love them, this whole heart-wrenching dilemma woulod never arise! Thanks for coming by and reading - and again, welcome to HP :)
Sheesh, giving it away you at least hope for the best but killing Fido is permanent.
True Dolores - thanks for reading!
Here's a happy outcome (to balance out the tragedy a wee bit).
I got my old girl two years ago from a family member who had to give her up for the sake of the children's health and also because she was being bullied by their two other dogs. When Cinnamon sees her former owners, which happens a couple of times a year, she is ecstatic and so are they. There's no mistaking this happiness...this behavior does not indicate in any way that she hasn't adjusted well to her new home (unlike that tragic story above). It was a difficult decision for the previous owners to make. They had raised her from a pup and she was 8 years old when she came to live with me.
Just wanted to share a good outcome resulting from making a very painful decision. Great question you posed, Shalini.
Thank you Sally - as always, you open the window and let the winds of joy blow thru :) Cinnamon is one lucky girl!
Yes, it is a painful decision if it happens - I just pray I'll never have to make it!
I could not imagine being without our pets but you have made me really think about in case of emergency, I am not prepared now but I need to truly be. I never want to have to make any decisions regarding them as it would break my heart. :(
Hi AEvans - thanks for reading. Sad to say, I'm not prepared to even think of taking a decision either!
Why in the name of all that is holy is this an issue? No, you don't kill your pet due to your circumstances, what about theirs? I have 3 cats, 3 dogs, 1 fish and 1 frog. I live in Florida with hurricanes and I wouldn't leave them. The rest of my family can go if we can't find a place that will take them, but I won't. I love them, they love me. I will take my chances with them rather than them taking the chances without me.
While that would be the ideal thing to do, unfortunately, very often, circumstances force you to choose!
Did you have to do this? If so, what happened?
I have placed unwanted animals since childhood and I don't understand what would make a person have to do something like that.
No I haven't and hope I never will. However, as the examples above show, there could be a time when a decision has to be taken.
Shalini - It is a good topic to make people think. I did read a few, not all of them. I knew you hadn't had to do this but some of your answers made me wonder. No one wants to be in this situation and should make prearrangements for their pets, as well as themselves. There are a lot of rescue groups that offer help with coordination. You can get info from the county or the Humane Society. Call the ASPCA. they will help with waht to do. There are resources and people need to use them before they decide to kill an animal that does not deserve this fate.
If the dog bites a child, it should be put down, if it is old and/or sick, yes. It is our duty to be both responsible and kind.
Hi Gracie - yes, there are a number of rescue groups and this really was a hypothetical question. The only reason I raised it is because I've seen how pets can suffer when their owners leave them - because of illness, death, whatever. It's really heart-breaking.
Uninvited Writer says:
15 months ago
There are always alternatives to putting a healthy pet down. There are many no-kill shelters if you can't find a new home yourself. I have a cat and I'm considering putting him in my will so that he will be taken care of by someone I trust if anything happens to me.